My husband was in a motorcycle accident - Part 1
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Well, that pool is your pamper if you want it to be. Go for it! Enjoy it!!
While you are floating around in your well earned pampered paradise pool (which you deserve!), Let him do what he needs for himself... and you can be floating away thinking about how to move forward with your own stuff.
Even if you have to stay there for awhile doesn't mean you have to be responsible for his every need! He is all grown and capable of making his own decisions, (good, bad, or ugly!) clearly he is already doing that....let him do it.
All the while you can be making yours! Nothing is impossible and there are many options... You just have to be open to thinking outside the box to take care of YOU!
He is gonna damn well do what he is gonna do... You can't control that.
Take care of you!
While you are floating around in your well earned pampered paradise pool (which you deserve!), Let him do what he needs for himself... and you can be floating away thinking about how to move forward with your own stuff.
Even if you have to stay there for awhile doesn't mean you have to be responsible for his every need! He is all grown and capable of making his own decisions, (good, bad, or ugly!) clearly he is already doing that....let him do it.
All the while you can be making yours! Nothing is impossible and there are many options... You just have to be open to thinking outside the box to take care of YOU!
He is gonna damn well do what he is gonna do... You can't control that.
Take care of you!
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz 
Exactly. I'm going to Let Go & Let God & take care of me & the Girls.
I know you will be ok. You and your beautiful girls!
Hugs.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i'm so sorry to read this.
i guess he is also driving against doctor's advice, to obtain booze.
i agree, stop living to save his sorry ungrateful assss. start living for you, your great dogs, and beeyootiful granddaughter.
if you can put him and his crap behavior in the background noise for now.
thing is, he forced your hand and did what you said you would not tolerate....so he thinks you have no real boundary...so he may think he's ok to keep drinking, you aren't leaving, you're still there taking care of things.
if he is drinking and driving again...you can't ignore it, cos he might not be so lucky and will cause harm to others. can you untangle him from your car insurance?
i guess he is also driving against doctor's advice, to obtain booze.
i agree, stop living to save his sorry ungrateful assss. start living for you, your great dogs, and beeyootiful granddaughter.
if you can put him and his crap behavior in the background noise for now.
thing is, he forced your hand and did what you said you would not tolerate....so he thinks you have no real boundary...so he may think he's ok to keep drinking, you aren't leaving, you're still there taking care of things.
if he is drinking and driving again...you can't ignore it, cos he might not be so lucky and will cause harm to others. can you untangle him from your car insurance?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I cannot Fandy. We can not have 2 sperate policies.
He's still sleeping and I'm praying he stays asleep for another hour n a half. That will let me get out of the house before he can to get the truck done. I've beenhiding the keys better. I do not want him driving right now! I told him if he's going to drink he's not driving under the influence! It's time to grow the EFF up!
I swear, he is worse than a teenager with an entitlement crisis.
He's still sleeping and I'm praying he stays asleep for another hour n a half. That will let me get out of the house before he can to get the truck done. I've beenhiding the keys better. I do not want him driving right now! I told him if he's going to drink he's not driving under the influence! It's time to grow the EFF up!
I swear, he is worse than a teenager with an entitlement crisis.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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I'm just done playing his game. That's all it is anymore is a game.
My Saturday consist of 4 hours of sleep after a 16hour shift to be met with a 12 tonight. Pretty exciting... NOT! I'm tired. I've worked 70 hours this past week, not counting the time I spent on bathing an alcoholic, wound care n Dr appointments. All to get drunk.
My Saturday consist of 4 hours of sleep after a 16hour shift to be met with a 12 tonight. Pretty exciting... NOT! I'm tired. I've worked 70 hours this past week, not counting the time I spent on bathing an alcoholic, wound care n Dr appointments. All to get drunk.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
I'm so sorry -That sounds awful and tiring. Except the pool part 
In a healthy situation after a week like that, he would be taking care of you! The part of the disease thats so painful is that I swear it makes it so they can't see past the end of their own noses...and wouldn't know a good thing (event ,person or otherwise) if it kicked them in the face.
You have fun in that new pool of yours. YOU can be happy despite! A cabana boy might help if you can squeeze him into the budget...palm fronds. ..cold beverages. ..all that. Hang in there Rotz!
In a healthy situation after a week like that, he would be taking care of you! The part of the disease thats so painful is that I swear it makes it so they can't see past the end of their own noses...and wouldn't know a good thing (event ,person or otherwise) if it kicked them in the face.
You have fun in that new pool of yours. YOU can be happy despite! A cabana boy might help if you can squeeze him into the budget...palm fronds. ..cold beverages. ..all that. Hang in there Rotz!
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A couple nice cold ones would be nice but I just can't bring myself to have it at the house. Maybe in my next lifetime.
He was quacking this am. Saying he wasn't going to be an ass n he had a headache n that's the reason he drank. Well, I've got a 194lb hemmeroid!
He was quacking this am. Saying he wasn't going to be an ass n he had a headache n that's the reason he drank. Well, I've got a 194lb hemmeroid!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
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I wish you could send him somewhere for a few weeks (is his mother available)?....while he is recovering on disability anyway. but he is not going to wrap his brain around recovery if he is inventing excuses so it's an exercise in futility.
what makes me angry is his selfishness. This accident was 100% his fault and the monetary fallout, the extra work and stress on you, the anguish, the upset, the lost sleep, the emotional trauma YOU have endured...and he still whines about you needing to be forgetting the accident and his headache? that's his excuse to continue to drink?
He needs more help than you can give him.
what makes me angry is his selfishness. This accident was 100% his fault and the monetary fallout, the extra work and stress on you, the anguish, the upset, the lost sleep, the emotional trauma YOU have endured...and he still whines about you needing to be forgetting the accident and his headache? that's his excuse to continue to drink?
He needs more help than you can give him.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Drunk again and I'm just glad I'm at work.
He's pissed at me because I asked my dad something I asked him and when I told him what dad said, he said, you never believe me! You don't trust my word.
I don't believe, with the way he is going that his body is going to keep up. He is getting very, very tired and is currently taking anti seizure meds with at least a pint of vodka a day, not to mention Tylenol. I have not checked the bank nor am I going to. I don't want to know. All I know is that I smell it and his demeanor are not normal for him proclaiming sobriety. It's not jiving and I'm not prying.
He asked me today if I could still love him after he lost his hair. I told him I would love him no matter how he looked. I also told him that his looks have nothing to do with how I feel about him but the alcoholism is killing my love for him. He said, I'm not concerned about that. I just have to look good.
I don't believe he's going to get out of this addiction alive. It would be a miracle if he woke up one day and surrendered to the Lord, Our God. I pray for him, but I can't help him.
He's pissed at me because I asked my dad something I asked him and when I told him what dad said, he said, you never believe me! You don't trust my word.
I don't believe, with the way he is going that his body is going to keep up. He is getting very, very tired and is currently taking anti seizure meds with at least a pint of vodka a day, not to mention Tylenol. I have not checked the bank nor am I going to. I don't want to know. All I know is that I smell it and his demeanor are not normal for him proclaiming sobriety. It's not jiving and I'm not prying.
He asked me today if I could still love him after he lost his hair. I told him I would love him no matter how he looked. I also told him that his looks have nothing to do with how I feel about him but the alcoholism is killing my love for him. He said, I'm not concerned about that. I just have to look good.
I don't believe he's going to get out of this addiction alive. It would be a miracle if he woke up one day and surrendered to the Lord, Our God. I pray for him, but I can't help him.
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I've been working 16 hour shifts this week. I'm working a 12 right now and finishing up til Monday. He's clearly taking advantage of the situation as I am only averaging at best 5 hours of sleep a day since last Sunday.
Once I fall asleep, an elephant could crawl in bed with me and I wouldn't know it. And when I get up, here's Mr. Innocent sitting on the couch like he's not moved all effing day.
I can not babysit the eff'er. Just as someone above posted, I don't have to cook for him, do his laundry, fill his pills or anything else either and I believe, it sound like a great idea as I have had it with his ********. I'm not his Mom, I'm not his maid, nor am I his Bitch. As far as I'm concerned... at this point, our marriage is on hold until he decides to pull his head out of his ass.
He's not the only sorry soul to have a rough life. I'm so sick of his lame excuses on why he drinks. The latest is a headache and body aches. To be honest, I've got a headache, my kidneys hurt because I drink to much coffee, my heart flubs like a bowl of jello when I lay down and rest and, I'm stressed beyond believe because it's been one thing after another in regards to life since my sister killed herself last year. I have not had time to catch my breath from that let alone Jim's dumbassed decisions. I have had it!!! I may just blow a gasket tomorrow on him about every effin thing!
Once I fall asleep, an elephant could crawl in bed with me and I wouldn't know it. And when I get up, here's Mr. Innocent sitting on the couch like he's not moved all effing day.
I can not babysit the eff'er. Just as someone above posted, I don't have to cook for him, do his laundry, fill his pills or anything else either and I believe, it sound like a great idea as I have had it with his ********. I'm not his Mom, I'm not his maid, nor am I his Bitch. As far as I'm concerned... at this point, our marriage is on hold until he decides to pull his head out of his ass.
He's not the only sorry soul to have a rough life. I'm so sick of his lame excuses on why he drinks. The latest is a headache and body aches. To be honest, I've got a headache, my kidneys hurt because I drink to much coffee, my heart flubs like a bowl of jello when I lay down and rest and, I'm stressed beyond believe because it's been one thing after another in regards to life since my sister killed herself last year. I have not had time to catch my breath from that let alone Jim's dumbassed decisions. I have had it!!! I may just blow a gasket tomorrow on him about every effin thing!
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I realize I'm simply stating the obvious here, but it sounds like something has to give, right? Since he does not see the need to change, then that change will have to be with you (I know, I know--again, just stating the overly obvious).At one point you said you had a plan in place if he decided to drink again. Now you are so exhausted that the thought of it is too overwhelming. I can 'hear' how exhausted you are and how much more exhausted you become every day.
Will you have a day or two off of work soon? If so, what do you think you could do to just put a few things in place for yourself?
If finding a place to live for you and your girls is the first thing, perhaps take one afternoon that you have off and work on that.
If securing at least one of the vehicles away from your husband is needed, maybe park the truck in long-term storage and put the key in a safe deposit box to which only you have access ('course you can only do this if both vehicles are in your name only).
If he looks through your things while you are asleep, perhaps lock them in the trunk of your car and sleep with the car key under your pillow (or a lock box chained to the head of the bed that has one of those alarm pins attached in case someone tries to open it).
I hope and pray that you will get the break you need from all this stress very soon! I also hope you will be able to get a bit more sleep soon. Sending many hugs and prayers!
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