OK, here's an example. The tattoos. You "forbid" her to have any that show because it might "eliminate a future job position." Don't get me wrong, I agree with you a hundred percent. BUT, it is her choice to make. You can certainly express your opinion about it, but the notion of "forbidding" something like that is what I would expect a parent to say about a teenage child, not a person talking about his/her partner.
She's an adult. She has the right to make choices, even if they are ones you consider foolish. You can live with the results or not, but you don't have the right to give her orders.
I'm glad you are keeping an open mind about making some good, healthy changes in yourself. It will be a good growth experience.