Bernadette

I have never felt more helpless in my entire life than that last hour till I could get home. Mom was still passed out when I got there.

I am brought to tears of frustration again just typing this out here. God damn it.


Coyote,
Daughters can heal. And dad's do too. I have many images like the one you describe stuck in my brain from my childhood, things a kid shouldn't have to see because they are so confusing, frightening, bizarre. My dad recovered and we had an awesome relationship for the last 20 yrs of his life. I found my way to help & Alanon etc., and that work has healed me tremendously. We cannot change the past but as Maya Angelou said:

"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again."

You have been doing the right things now by your DD and that will make all the difference for her! And for you.

Peace-
B

TakingCharge999

Cyranoak's and coyote's post made me cry. Thank you for sharing such painful events. Sometimes I go back to "what if" land and thanks to you I remember if I ever have any kids, they WON'T go through that hell, I won't give them an alcoholic father. Thank you for sharing this. And I am hoping your daughters, you and all of us who have gone through tough stuff to heal day by day, and enjoy all the beauty we missed while going through hell.
Hugs

johndelko408

I haven't known many normies that know how to duck a warrant or manipulate a judge. Sad to say I was very good at the two.

wicked

all the useful things that you can do with a glass tube and a chore boy!
i was clueless, i mean, i was drunk, but still, who knew?

Beth

Cyranoak

So I try to put it in my, "You don't know what you don't know" box. I keep that box right next to my "Can't Control It" box.

Good boxes. Love em'.

Normies either don't have boxes like this, or they do but never have to think about them. Kind of like I don't think about my closet shelves. They are there and I use them. End of story.

Cyranoak

wicked

.

Yep, me too, and I have a daughter who has much higher standards than me.
She says, "This is how I say I love you Mom."
Alrighty, my daughter loves me and my closet shelves are clean.
Cool.

Beth

sturtel

This needs to be a book. Like the post secret books.

coyote21

Just came back from the grocery, and walked past the laundry room where someone was using one of those "fragrant" dryer softener sheets.

Reminded me of our neighbors back when we had the "big house". They used to smoke skunk weed on their back screen porch and try to "cover up" by drying a load with "dryer sheets". Used to smell like weed and dryer sheets. Ha, they weren't fooling anybody. Gotta love a stoner. The wife's a teacher, hope LMC doesn't get her, I'll have to have her switched.

Normies would wonder what in the hell was wrong with those dryer sheets, were they spoiled? Ewwwe.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

sturtel

The joy of having to smell every water bottle around the house before using it for something else or being afraid that one of the kids is going to drink it.

kia

i agree with most of the other posts normies dont know

What its like to hear that can opening and feel dread with every pull and that sinking feeling when its 5am in the morning and knowing its gonna be a very long 24 hours

The tension release when u hear them snore and its silent for the first time in hours and u can hear the tv every word and not on cinema volume just normal volume and u know theyve passed out and with any luck it will peaceful for at least a few hours and if your very lucky it will be all night and u can sit peaceful and sleep in peace until they wake

The lies direct to your face and how your always in the wrong even though u know fact are your not u know the reality cos u aint had one drink cos it sickens u watching them drink it let alone u having any

sesh

Great thread,
normies definetelly can't tell, just by listening to the sound of the door opening, how many did he have.
Normies don't stand next to their passed out partner every morning to check if he is still breathing.
Normies don't get so accostumed to being lied to, that they start not believing their own eyes and minds.
They don't clean urine stain from the mattresses (bicarbonet of soda works well ) or wash pooped pans of a grown man.
Normies don't find out that their partner has been chating on them for 7 years and than just shrug their shoulders and think: well, I can't say I am surprised, maybe I am feeling a bit angry.
Normies don't get alergic reaction to food and start to choke to have thier partner tell them: you better go to ER on your own: and than later when they come back home, aften being given shots, they find thier partner "so worried" that he is sleeping like a baby.
Or not being there for them when they found the lump on their breast, as he new it is nothing, even before doc said it.
Normies don't have their kids coming to them telling them: mum, dad is constantly asking me to give him some money but I don't have any.

HUh, this is really good, to spill it all out like this. And I could go on forever. I am so happy that part of my life is over.

coyote21

You may have won the prize for the "most horrendous" thing that a normie wouldn't know to do. Not such a great designation.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

chicory

This made me angry , and I can only imagine how frantic that the two of you must have felt.
I know that alcoholism is a sickness, but things like this make it impossible to be compassionate for the drinker. Thank God Little Miss Coyote has you.

chicory

Sesh,
Don't look back......

chicory

Normies don't dread paydays....

chicory

Normies don't have to dig around in their brains, for the right things to say, all the while knowing that there are none.

chrisea

Normies don't ask for a to-go container for their alcohol at restaurants.

Normies don't get a phone call in the middle of the night, that xabf was picked up for a prior dui warrant, because they took their drink out from the bar to the car... duhhh

normies don't get phone calls from the xabf cellmate's son, asking if they want his process number, so he could get a phone call... money for their account, help bail them out. Normies don't even know about process numbers. They also don't get woke up from sleep in the morning to a probation officer asking to take him for house arrest. He had no job, no money --- what kind of house arrest are you talking about.... I want the house arrest, where someone brings me food & I can watch tv all day...

I am so happy that part of my life is over.

pixilation

"normies" don't look at the calendar, calculate the days that AH will be on the day shift, and think "oh crap" when they realize he's off on Christmas Day.

johndelko408

How to make car keys out of sawzall blades and a half round file.

wicked

Yes, and just for a half second wish he would die and get it over with. I am speaking for myself, and I know I had really gotten down when that idea flitted through my mind.

And believe that now they have a good reason to leave the *******.

Yeah my son would tell me about my ex waking him up during the worst crack days asking him for money or steal it from me (in the middle of the night) when he was in grade school. My son didnt tell me for a long time, my ex made him promise not to tell.
Oh my.

Yes Sesh, it does get so, so, very bad, but now you are feeling free.
I am very glad for you.

Beth