Things a "normie" wouldn't know.... Part 1
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
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from chicory
Normies don't have that tightening up in the stomach when they pull in the drive of their home.
That starts young if you grow up in an A home -- I can remember this feeling clear as a bell as a kid/teenager. Shudder! A normie could probably never imagine that the sober parent is as much a cause of tension and rage as the drunk parent! I mean, you could get it from both guns some days.
It was SUCH a glorious discovery to realize I could create my own tension-free home as an adult!! A home I am sad to leave instead of sad to return to (now, if my noisy neighbors would just shut up...sigh!!!).
Peace-
B
Normies don't have that tightening up in the stomach when they pull in the drive of their home.
That starts young if you grow up in an A home -- I can remember this feeling clear as a bell as a kid/teenager. Shudder! A normie could probably never imagine that the sober parent is as much a cause of tension and rage as the drunk parent! I mean, you could get it from both guns some days.
It was SUCH a glorious discovery to realize I could create my own tension-free home as an adult!! A home I am sad to leave instead of sad to return to (now, if my noisy neighbors would just shut up...sigh!!!).
Peace-
B
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
from Bernadette-
yep- that was my reality, too.
No wonder we have to guess at what "normal" is!
This thread has had me going from laughter to tears and back again!
Shudder! A normie could probably never imagine that the sober parent is as much a cause of tension and rage as the drunk parent! I mean, you could get it from both guns some days.
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No wonder we have to guess at what "normal" is!
This thread has had me going from laughter to tears and back again!
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 131
Originally Posted by chicory 
Normies don't have that tightening up in the stomach when they pull in the drive of their home.
Normies don't get that sinking feeling when they hear the glug-glug-glug of that 3rd, 4th, 5th... "glass" of wine being poured.
They have probably never uttered the phrase, "TGIM, Thank god it's Monday!"
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
normies don't cringe when they hear ice cubes being put in a glass (with my mom it was that and the tinkling of ice in her glass when she was done and shaking it to get the last dregs out of her glass).
Then repeat this whole scenario 20 times in one night.
Then repeat this whole scenario 20 times in one night.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
A normie wouldn't have to watch in horror as their young stepchild JUMPS once he hears his alkie father come home, run to the fridge to get him a frosted glass and a bear.
A normie wouldn't have to listen to said child talk about how "it's better when daddy drinks 'cause he's nicer to us".
A normie wouldn't have to convince herself to let her alkie husband have sex with her, tell herself it would "only last 3.5 minutes", just to avoid the hour-long scream fest if she didn't.
A normie wouldn't have to listen to said child talk about how "it's better when daddy drinks 'cause he's nicer to us".
A normie wouldn't have to convince herself to let her alkie husband have sex with her, tell herself it would "only last 3.5 minutes", just to avoid the hour-long scream fest if she didn't.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Gawd I'm addicted to this thread. It is so sadly, tragically, devastatingly, comical. Reading through this I can directly identify with so many of the things listed. I think I'm going to mark it for future reads - when I think I'm all OK - because when I read through this, so bluntly stated, it seems unimaginable that we go through life accepting this type of dysfunction as our normal. Maybe that is why it seems comical? It can't be for real can it - oh but it is. NEVER again I tell ya. I am going to learn all the lessons I need to learn to never ever live that life again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
normies don't know how to disable the car in 1 minute.
normies don't know how to beg sympathetic friends for grocery money.
normies don't know how to gauge the amount of alcohol by their eyes.
normies don't sleep in the guest room.
normies don't count cigarette burn marks in the wooden floor.
normies don't have strong rope to climb out the window in case he sets the house afire.
normies don't know how to beg sympathetic friends for grocery money.
normies don't know how to gauge the amount of alcohol by their eyes.
normies don't sleep in the guest room.
normies don't count cigarette burn marks in the wooden floor.
normies don't have strong rope to climb out the window in case he sets the house afire.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 674
Normies don't know that anxieties, depression, sexual disfunction are all symptoms of alcohol abuse. They take them at face value, as I did, until I knew better.
Normies don't know what it is like to spend the night with their alcoholic loved one in the psych ward of the emergency room. The bare walls, the one way glass, the paper thin blanket, all the while thinking this was just some big mistake. "He doesn't belong here, and I must stay with him to comfort and support him in this terrible situation." I should have left him there.
This thread is amazing...thank you all so much for sharing. Keep them coming
Normies don't know what it is like to spend the night with their alcoholic loved one in the psych ward of the emergency room. The bare walls, the one way glass, the paper thin blanket, all the while thinking this was just some big mistake. "He doesn't belong here, and I must stay with him to comfort and support him in this terrible situation." I should have left him there.
This thread is amazing...thank you all so much for sharing. Keep them coming
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
normies don't get the police at the door to say he's flipped the car off the road.
normies don't bail their mates out of jail.
normies don't have punch holes in their doors.
normies don't have emergency bags packed so they can flee in a minute.
normies don't check to make sure they haven't drowned in the bathtub.
normies don't store all important documents out of the house.
normies don't bail their mates out of jail.
normies don't have punch holes in their doors.
normies don't have emergency bags packed so they can flee in a minute.
normies don't check to make sure they haven't drowned in the bathtub.
normies don't store all important documents out of the house.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 478
Oh yes! That sinking pit stomach, headache and overall nausea that comes over you on the way home! My favorite.
The Beer Can pop.
Keeping all important documents and personal journals at work.
The voice change.. or incessant rambling, followed by "I'm not even drunk"
How you can tell whether they’ve been drinking beer or hard liquor by the conversation topics
Listening to someone puke during the night.. Thanks you for making it to the bathroom..
Cleaning up the “miss” in the bathroom, when your little boy is still in diapers (couldn’t have been him!)
Waiting for the “right time” to bring up conversations like: my family wants to visit; I would like to go visit my family, bills, or anything else
The smell coming out of the snore..
And of course being alone in your own bed, while he is still laying on the other side (That hurts the worst I think) only second to NoDay’s convincing that it will only be 3.5 minutes and get it over with.. ME, I’ve done that!
Moving loads for beer cans from the trash to the recycle because he can’t be bothered to actually recycle them himself.. I’m mean if you going to drink that many you could at LEASE recycle them
Lie-dar!! He’s been Christmas shopping at least 3 or 4 times already.. yet he has no gifts?????
The Beer Can pop.
Keeping all important documents and personal journals at work.
The voice change.. or incessant rambling, followed by "I'm not even drunk"
How you can tell whether they’ve been drinking beer or hard liquor by the conversation topics
Listening to someone puke during the night.. Thanks you for making it to the bathroom..
Cleaning up the “miss” in the bathroom, when your little boy is still in diapers (couldn’t have been him!)
Waiting for the “right time” to bring up conversations like: my family wants to visit; I would like to go visit my family, bills, or anything else
The smell coming out of the snore..
And of course being alone in your own bed, while he is still laying on the other side (That hurts the worst I think) only second to NoDay’s convincing that it will only be 3.5 minutes and get it over with.. ME, I’ve done that!
Moving loads for beer cans from the trash to the recycle because he can’t be bothered to actually recycle them himself.. I’m mean if you going to drink that many you could at LEASE recycle them
Lie-dar!! He’s been Christmas shopping at least 3 or 4 times already.. yet he has no gifts?????
Black and Yellow
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by coyote21
This morning LMC (Little Miss Coyote) and I were sitting around killing 5 minutes before going down to wait on the school bus.
It was 6:05am, and we heard a loud knocking on a neighbor's door from across the courtyard. It was still dark and I commented to LMC, hum, that sounds like the police. You know, they knock with much more authority than the average guest.
Sure enough, as we walked out the police were there questioning the resident.
The last year or so of my marriage, after the wheels had completely fallen off, we must have had at least a dozen or so visits from the cities finest. Enough that I can still, after all this time, tell when a police person is knocking on a door.
Upon reflection, I had to laugh. The "average" citizen would NOT be privy to this knowledge. Ah, good times.
Anybody else have any interesting knowledge that they wouldn't other wise have?
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
It was 6:05am, and we heard a loud knocking on a neighbor's door from across the courtyard. It was still dark and I commented to LMC, hum, that sounds like the police. You know, they knock with much more authority than the average guest.
Sure enough, as we walked out the police were there questioning the resident.
The last year or so of my marriage, after the wheels had completely fallen off, we must have had at least a dozen or so visits from the cities finest. Enough that I can still, after all this time, tell when a police person is knocking on a door.
Upon reflection, I had to laugh. The "average" citizen would NOT be privy to this knowledge. Ah, good times.
Anybody else have any interesting knowledge that they wouldn't other wise have?
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Ah yes, I know that knock well! Been a part of too many probation searches to count...
Awakening
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Normies don't recite the Serenity Prayer over and over hundreds of times as their anxiety rises, as they approach their homes after work.
Normies don't look FORWARD to going to work, just to get away from home. (TGIM SteppingUp, Ha)
Normies don't look FOREWARD to their spouses passing out, so they can finally get some peace.
Normies don't look FORWARD to the holidays being OVER.
Normies don't come home to find their wives stretched out buck naked on the kitchen tile floor trying to get cool, like a dog does in the summer time.
Normies don't recognize most of the police officers they see in restaurants around town.
Normies don't come home and notice a bloody wash rag on the kitchen counter, the cafe curtains all wompass, and realize SOMEONE took a header out the breakfast room window and now the cat is missing.................don't worry, he was on the front porch.
Normies don't meet the CPS lady at their house for the initial interview, and both look through the side door window and see their wife lying passed out, naked from the waist down in the 1/2 bath threshold in all her glory, and blocking entry, at 4 in the afternoon.
Normies don't wonder why the poor CPS lady looks so shocked.
Normies don't HAVE interviews with CPS.
If I'm lying I'm dying.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Normies don't look FORWARD to going to work, just to get away from home. (TGIM SteppingUp, Ha)
Normies don't look FOREWARD to their spouses passing out, so they can finally get some peace.
Normies don't look FORWARD to the holidays being OVER.
Normies don't come home to find their wives stretched out buck naked on the kitchen tile floor trying to get cool, like a dog does in the summer time.
Normies don't recognize most of the police officers they see in restaurants around town.
Normies don't come home and notice a bloody wash rag on the kitchen counter, the cafe curtains all wompass, and realize SOMEONE took a header out the breakfast room window and now the cat is missing.................don't worry, he was on the front porch.
Normies don't meet the CPS lady at their house for the initial interview, and both look through the side door window and see their wife lying passed out, naked from the waist down in the 1/2 bath threshold in all her glory, and blocking entry, at 4 in the afternoon.
Normies don't wonder why the poor CPS lady looks so shocked.
Normies don't HAVE interviews with CPS.
If I'm lying I'm dying.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
normies don't listen to the same thought/sentence said over 20 to 30 times because the person they are talking to can't remember they just told you that
normies don't have their hearts ripped out because someone said something incredibly kind and thoughtful-and then discover the next day the person who said it was in a blackout and did not even remember being at their house let alone talking to them
normies are not approached by people after they file for divorce and told that EVERYONE in town knows their soon to be ex spouse is one of the town drunks (and here I thought it was a secret)
normies don't go out into their driveway and photogrpah possible evidence because one of their spouse's friends is totally pi**ed because they were busted and their spouse was not--and their friend suspects their spouse had something to do with it and wants to get even so leaves drug paraphenalia all over the front steps (where their children will see it when they leave for school the next morning)
normies do not wonder if they should call the police when they find a cache of illegal drugs stashed in their house
normies don't have their hearts ripped out because someone said something incredibly kind and thoughtful-and then discover the next day the person who said it was in a blackout and did not even remember being at their house let alone talking to them
normies are not approached by people after they file for divorce and told that EVERYONE in town knows their soon to be ex spouse is one of the town drunks (and here I thought it was a secret)
normies don't go out into their driveway and photogrpah possible evidence because one of their spouse's friends is totally pi**ed because they were busted and their spouse was not--and their friend suspects their spouse had something to do with it and wants to get even so leaves drug paraphenalia all over the front steps (where their children will see it when they leave for school the next morning)
normies do not wonder if they should call the police when they find a cache of illegal drugs stashed in their house
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Normies don't have to worry about checking the mail or what they'll find in the mailbox. Today it was an overdraft notice from his bank(and payday is a week away) and the letter from the sheriff about his DUI a few weeks ago.
Normies don't have to contemplate who to call to get food from the food pantry to feed their kids, because even $30 doesn't stretch as far as one would like when the cupboards were already rather bare.
Normies don't have to contemplate who to call to get food from the food pantry to feed their kids, because even $30 doesn't stretch as far as one would like when the cupboards were already rather bare.
Awakening
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by Rayn3dr0p
Geez Louise, coyote!
When I read stuff like that, my inner codie thinks, "Maybe my ex ISN'T an alcoholic. It never got THAT bad." And then my inner voice of recovery reminds me, "Hold your horses, girl! It's a progressive disease, and this could be you one day!"
I don't think normies have two warring factions debating in their already overwhelmed mind like this pretty much all day long!
When I read stuff like that, my inner codie thinks, "Maybe my ex ISN'T an alcoholic. It never got THAT bad." And then my inner voice of recovery reminds me, "Hold your horses, girl! It's a progressive disease, and this could be you one day!"
I don't think normies have two warring factions debating in their already overwhelmed mind like this pretty much all day long!
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Awakening
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by keepinon
normies don't have to put carpet tacks all along their overhang so the addict boyfriend won't break in the second story window
Note to self: Don't mess with Keepinon!
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
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