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Old 08-07-2010, 09:04 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
I AM CANADIAN
 
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this is a heavy thead

but reading it....
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Old 08-08-2010, 12:23 PM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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While I agree that stigmatizing often results from a misuse of language, and is in no way desireable, I wonder how the discussion changes if I assume a mind/body continuum, in which the mind is a critical influence on the body....witness the 30% "cure" rate of placebos, etc. Perhaps the mistake is separating the two, which might mean that physical "dis-ease" is also a form of insanity.<G> Statistically speaking, those who utilize their mental health benefits more, use their medical benefits less.

blessings
zenbear

WHAAAAT??

I still remember that the first time I smoked pot I didn't get "high."
AAHHH now I see where your coming from... No wonder I didn't get it.

Christie
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:22 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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The last part about your husband Kmber- I think that is it! whether we are called "codies" (thank you) or "enabliers" or the smucks that take all their crap

As spouses or other loved ones I think we just want to hear
"thank you for your love and for standing by me through this" and have them REALLY mean it.
AMEN!

It's funny because I had no idea what co-dependent meant either but about three years ago I remember a friend of mine mentioning a book to me after I sobbed to her about a breakup with a bf that had relapsed (very familiar story from me!) and I was like... huh, ya don't say! - but never gave it a second thought.
Now thanks to this wonderful website and all that I've learned from all of you strong and beautiful people, I need to text her and tell her that I've accepted that I'm codependent and will get help!!!
Thank you for starting this thread chrisst and a big thanks to the SR family!
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Old 08-24-2012, 06:13 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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Wow. That hit me like a ton of bricks.. I am a nurse, recovering alcoholic and in an on and off relationship with an active alcoholic. The adrenaline rush is real and equally as addicting as alcohol was to me!
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Old 08-24-2012, 06:19 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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When my ABF is late, on a binge, or out all night, I immediately assume the worst. I check hospitals (I use my access to records-not really legal these days cuz of HIPPA laws), police records (my sponsor works at the police station), all the while to find out he is hung over, laying in a motel room with a one night stand. When things calm down for a while-I experience an emptiness from the lack of chaos and drama. I realize that I have a lot of work to do on myself and need to leave the detective work to the proffesionals!
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Old 08-24-2012, 07:06 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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This has been great reading!!
I have always been in relationships with addicts of one sort or another.
I used to be an addict as well.
It's taken 17 years of this nonsense for me to realize that it's me and I have a lot of frigging things to sort out. I mean, yeah, they were/are addicts. But I made the decisions to date them, live with them, marry them, reproduce with them, you know? And so, now, I'm realizing that I have some issues that need addressing, Mwahahaha. And at first, when I realized that I'm a codie, I felt physically ill, devastated that I had, in many ways, brought this upon myself? So, I expect to keep my therapist and I busy for a while and perhaps I will attend Al-Anon. Therapist recommended "Codependent No More". So...vacation beach reading...
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Old 08-24-2012, 11:37 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Parts of this thread infuriate me.
I did not come from an alcoholic home, I did not like some adrenelin rush from being lied to, I did not understand the merry-go-round, I did not get any of it, all I knew was that the man I had just married started drinking before I even got up and had a cup of coffee, and I was completely blind-sided by it all. Long distance relationships can have surprises!

I am not a "codie" in some form of the word in that I want to control other people all the time, and I certainly don't want to rescue them. I sure do want the people in my life to act as sane normal people. Yeah, what's normal...well there is normal. Normal is about thought patterns, and only sober people even have a shot at normal thought patterns...and having lived with an alcoholic for ten years I can say with certainly they don't even REMEMBER what transpired afterwards, so how in the hell can they judge it?

So I am infuriated that it is insinuated that I sought out this crazy lifestyle, and that I get some kind of "kick" out of it. I was HORRIFIED. I was ignorant, stupidly so maybe, gullible, vulnerable, and clueless...I will give you that.
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Old 08-24-2012, 11:40 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Terrific thread. I've been sober in AA since 1991 and also recovering from codependency. It helps to understand that for active alcoholics, booze is their higher power; the great love of their life; best friend; God; the most important thing in their life; other people are secondary. Recovery is a life and death matter and many people don't make it. Part of recovery is dealing with the "wreckage of the past" which includes other people -- but it is our relationship with alcohol that must be a priority.
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