Terrific thread. I've been sober in AA since 1991 and also recovering from codependency. It helps to understand that for active alcoholics, booze is their higher power; the great love of their life; best friend; God; the most important thing in their life; other people are secondary. Recovery is a life and death matter and many people don't make it. Part of recovery is dealing with the "wreckage of the past" which includes other people -- but it is our relationship with alcohol that must be a priority.