BeamMeUpScotty

Hello,

As you can see, I'm new to the forums. Recently I was informed that I'm to be hired for a new job, which should be reason for celebration. As I feared, there was a required health check. I went to the clinic tonight and my bloodpressure (sp?) was high (178/108). When the doctor came in to talk to me, I finally worked up the courage to do what I've been wanting to do for years and I admitted I'm an alcoholic. I was very nervous but I know it's the right thing to do, as I am worried about my health.

At least I took the first step, but I'm worried about staying sober and also about the possibility of not being able to be hired for the job. I just got back from the clinic and I poured out the alcohol I had in the apartment. I don't think I'm going to get much sleep tonight.

I'm really worried that if I don't get the job due to this that it'll send me down in a spiral. I'm going to talk to my friends tonight and I'll call my parents in a few hours (I live in Japan, so they're still sleeping), so I know there will be support, but I know from a previous experience that having people to talk to who've been through the same experiences in invaluable.

I appreciate any advice help you can give.

boop64132

Welcome to Sr!
Yes you have taken the first step...CONGRATS!
The road is long and hard,but it is so worth it.
Read! Write! Post!
And take care of that blood preasure.God Bless!

Gabe

Hi Scotty
Good for you.
Getting honest is the first step.
How about this?
If you don't get the job, it wasn't the right job for you.
And there is a better one out there waiting for you.
This is a great place to find experience, strength and hope.
Glad you found us, stick around.

BeamMeUpScotty

Hi Gabe and Boop,

Thanks for the kind words. I know I'm going to need help.

Unfortunately, about the job, it is exactly the right job for me. It's teaching in a Japanese university and in 3 years it'll be turned into a training and research center focusing on my areas of expertise. And it's tenured, which for a foreigner in Japan with only a master's degree is almost unheard of.

Still I have to keep in mind that my health is most important. Tenure won't matter if I'm worm food.

Sorry for rambling, I guess I just trying to work out my thoughts on this first night. I'll probably be up to 100 posts by tomorrow.

Gabe

Well Scotty, so far you don't know how the job thing will turn out.
I'll keep some positive thoughts for you.
Regardless, you did the right thing getting honest about your drinking.
Stick around and keep talking it out.
It's early here in the States, but I'm betting some other folks will be around soon.

spirit

hi mate, congrats on admitting your fear and yep it is a tough journey, but one worth taking

take care and hang around - keep in touch

cheers
kath

BeamMeUpScotty

Thanks, I just need to make it to midnight when the stores close.

jbm125

Hi Scotty...you did exactly the right thing by telling your doctor the truth. If you didn't and went to work as a drunk your boss would find out sooner or later, probably sooner. If you'll take a little advice, go to the doctor you confessed to and find out if he told whoever he has to report your results to if he shared your substance abuse problem with them. Whether he did or not this is the perfect time to place yourself in a detox/rehab. 1st for yourself and 2nd to get the job. If your employer is understanding you'll be able to take a month or so and get straight. Even if the job you were examined for is gone there will be another one coming along at some point and you don't want to be a drunk when that opportunity presents itself.
Regardless of the job situation get to a detox/rehab center ASAP. If you don't this will happen again, "Opportunity knocked at the door and I answered the phone" HA HA....not very funny is it? You don't need luck, you need the skills you'll get at a rehab center. Those skills will allow you to take that or another job and do well at it, without booze or drugs.
Believe me, I've been there, done that and got the T shirt.
God bless

BeamMeUpScotty

Thanks for your advice. He has to fill out a form, and he said he wouldn't put it down. However, the test results which he does have to put down might be a problem. He's also going to recommend a clinic for rehab. Should be interesting as I'm sure most of them won't speak English. Guess my Japanese will improve. I go back on Monday to get the test results. The job doesn't start until next April 1st (April fools!), so we'll see what happens. I find out next Wednesday about the contract.

Just on a side note, I see you're from the Poconos. Whereabouts? I'm originally from Bethlehem.

roadie58

You might try AA groups in the area, they're all over the world. Bet you can find some English speaking ones, even in Japan.

Good luck man, there's hope whenever you start on the road to recovery.

You remind me of a buddy who named his boats Beemer, Beemer II. He was a great drunk. Think he's dead now. He would have been about 50 now.

dakota110705

Hello Scotty, what you did takes alot of courage! You definately did the right thing, it is a tough road, but as you've already heard, it is well worth it. It may help you to look at it this way....if you stay away from the alcohol it will only get better....it may seem scary and overwhelming right now but the longer you are in recovery, the easier EVERYTHING will get. You told the doc for a reason...even if you were indirectly asking for help. Focus on that and build your foundation from there. If you get the job, great, and if you don't, you still may have very well saved your life! Good luck and congratulations! dakota

BeamMeUpScotty

I have a question. Are AA groups religious? I don't have anything against people practicing/expressing their religion, but I'm very a-religious and don't feel comfortable in situations where non-religious people are somewhat looked down on. I'll look for a secular group I guess.

I went through a divorce and I joined a support group, so I know they can help a lot.

Take care

roadie58

We consider ourselves a spiritual, but not religious program. THere is a special chapter in the AA book called 'To the Agnostic' which might help you. In a nutshell, each member discovers, as part of the twelve steps, that there is a Higher Power than themselves, and ask for help. I consider it a kind of 'designer God', where each AAer can believe as he/she wishes. It's one of the most beautiful parts of the program, that has allowed it survive for 70 years helping countless individuals with their alcohol problems. Athiests and agnostics are more than welcome. We do not discuss religion at all really. Please give it a try.

If you go to meetings for 30 days and don't like it, your misery will be cheerfully refunded. LOL

BeamMeUpScotty

Thanks for the info. I'll look into it (now that I'm going to have a lot of time I was wasting before).

sherbear5104

Hey Scotty. Welcome to SR. This site is a great help.

http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/index.html

This is a link to the big book, online.

BSPGirl

Hmm there's a thread somewhere about alternatives for AA, I clicked a link to www.smartrecovery.org there and I found it very helpful. It all depends on your personality and all tho. Just take what you like and leave the rest behind.

BeamMeUpScotty

Thanks very much for that. It looks more like my cup of tea than AA. Quite simply I don't believe in a "higher power" (and developed that stance before the booze) and I believe human beings can change themselves, even if they need to ask others for help.

BSPGirl

Yeah I like SMART Recovery too.

Midas

Welcome Aboard, BeamMeUpScotty! Taking that first step is usually the most difficult one. We're glad you're here!!

When I sought help, My BP was 195/95 and rising rapidly. I nearly had a respiratory collapse. I'm glad I was finally able to quit after 20 years.

CarolD

Hello amd Welcome!

Please go to the forum Alcoholism.
That is where the link for alternatives is plus lots more information.

I had been raking BP meds for years and expected to need them forever.
By 3 months sober...I was taken off and never had another problem,
I stay around 100/ 70 and I am also a old overweight smoker.

Jobs and positions go and come...the life you save will be your own.