Days sober.....
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I still have nights that doubt starts to set in.....regardless of the progress I know Ive made.... Its fear.
Fear of failure and defeat.... its crippling...
Is there such a thing as feeling good all the time?......Is it ok to feel other than good sometimes?....
Are there feelings we have little control over?....
Sigh
Fear of failure and defeat.... its crippling...
Is there such a thing as feeling good all the time?......Is it ok to feel other than good sometimes?....
Are there feelings we have little control over?....
Sigh
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
I don't know anyone who feels good all the time Introvrtd.
I think we all have good days and bad ones and emotional ups and downs.
What I have now tho is an emotional constancy - I find I get down a lot less than I used to, even when bad stuff happens, because I know I'll feel ok again in a few days time.
It didn't visit itself upon me over night tho.
I kinda had to work pretty hard for my first year or so to get there and challenge a lot of negative self talk to stay there.
Mental patterns of 30 years or so don't change quickly...but they can change. Have faith
D
I think we all have good days and bad ones and emotional ups and downs.
What I have now tho is an emotional constancy - I find I get down a lot less than I used to, even when bad stuff happens, because I know I'll feel ok again in a few days time.
It didn't visit itself upon me over night tho.
I kinda had to work pretty hard for my first year or so to get there and challenge a lot of negative self talk to stay there.
Mental patterns of 30 years or so don't change quickly...but they can change. Have faith
D
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I don't know anyone who feels good all the time Introvrtd.
I think we all have good days and bad ones and emotional ups and downs.
What I have now tho is an emotional constancy - I find I get down a lot less than I used to, even when bad stuff happens, because I know I'll feel ok again in a few days time.
It didn't visit itself upon me over night tho.
I kinda had to work pretty hard for my first year or so to get there and challenge a lot of negative self talk to stay there.
Mental patterns of 30 years or so don't change quickly...but they can change. Have faith
D
I think we all have good days and bad ones and emotional ups and downs.
What I have now tho is an emotional constancy - I find I get down a lot less than I used to, even when bad stuff happens, because I know I'll feel ok again in a few days time.
It didn't visit itself upon me over night tho.
I kinda had to work pretty hard for my first year or so to get there and challenge a lot of negative self talk to stay there.
Mental patterns of 30 years or so don't change quickly...but they can change. Have faith
D
I guess I have a lot to work on emotionally......The habits of anxiety are persistent....like you said, they get easier to deal with as time goes by....But like anxiety, it sometimes gets hard to separate ration with irrational thinking and feelings, especially when I don't feel that 'normal' way.
Thanks
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Monday morning....
4:30am wake up.....Gout pain finally gone....But the anticipation of anxiety tried to take over my thoughts and feelings.....Up until this point, the gout pain gave me something to focus on besides the anxiety.....This seemed to keep me distracted from worrying about it, therefore It never bothered me.....hmmm....
Its now 5:30am.....As I sit here and contemplate why I get to work so early instead of a decent hour of the morning like everybody else.....Im reminded by the fact that I really hate traffic....that morning rush hour being stuck in bumper to bumber traffic and feeling trapped....its a real anxiety trigger for me so to avoid that, I get out a few hours earlier than everyone else.....Im literally here at work a few hours before I actually start.....This does have its benefits......nice and quiet.....Some alone time spent preparing for the day.....I could also sit quietly and meditate or get a small nap at my desk without looking like a slacker. In fact, I accomplish more before work starts than most people here get done all day.....
There is still that drive home though.....a time when ai choose to leave on time with everybody else in the rush to get home.....yes...that traffic....not as bad as the morning or the late evening rush, but enough to make me feel anxious....I guess I've been dealing with it for so many years now it really doesn't bother me anymore.....It's that cognitive behavioral (CBT) that has subconsciously brought me through after all these years on that front.....
I still suppose I have a lot to be thankful for.....Since my sobriety, the fact that I came to work a few hours early for the same reason, feels a lot less anxious now that I've been feeling so much better....Especially on Monday mornings....
Since my sobriety, Im reminded of the worst anxiety upon my waking moment.....especially after that weekend long binge....Im reminded of driving to work scared of having a panic attack on the road, but somehow braving through it each and every time....
I'm thankful I decided one day to just stop! A little over 100 days ago....So many days ago, yet so little time ago,.......I believe its true what most have been saying here for a long time......'It gets better'.....yes....it has to.....
To post here is part of my therapy..... I pray you all do get better.....thanks for keeping me inspired to keep going.
Intro
4:30am wake up.....Gout pain finally gone....But the anticipation of anxiety tried to take over my thoughts and feelings.....Up until this point, the gout pain gave me something to focus on besides the anxiety.....This seemed to keep me distracted from worrying about it, therefore It never bothered me.....hmmm....
Its now 5:30am.....As I sit here and contemplate why I get to work so early instead of a decent hour of the morning like everybody else.....Im reminded by the fact that I really hate traffic....that morning rush hour being stuck in bumper to bumber traffic and feeling trapped....its a real anxiety trigger for me so to avoid that, I get out a few hours earlier than everyone else.....Im literally here at work a few hours before I actually start.....This does have its benefits......nice and quiet.....Some alone time spent preparing for the day.....I could also sit quietly and meditate or get a small nap at my desk without looking like a slacker. In fact, I accomplish more before work starts than most people here get done all day.....
There is still that drive home though.....a time when ai choose to leave on time with everybody else in the rush to get home.....yes...that traffic....not as bad as the morning or the late evening rush, but enough to make me feel anxious....I guess I've been dealing with it for so many years now it really doesn't bother me anymore.....It's that cognitive behavioral (CBT) that has subconsciously brought me through after all these years on that front.....
I still suppose I have a lot to be thankful for.....Since my sobriety, the fact that I came to work a few hours early for the same reason, feels a lot less anxious now that I've been feeling so much better....Especially on Monday mornings....
Since my sobriety, Im reminded of the worst anxiety upon my waking moment.....especially after that weekend long binge....Im reminded of driving to work scared of having a panic attack on the road, but somehow braving through it each and every time....
I'm thankful I decided one day to just stop! A little over 100 days ago....So many days ago, yet so little time ago,.......I believe its true what most have been saying here for a long time......'It gets better'.....yes....it has to.....
To post here is part of my therapy..... I pray you all do get better.....thanks for keeping me inspired to keep going.
Intro
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Originally Posted by Introvrtd1
Is there such a thing as feeling good all the time?......Is it ok to feel other than good sometimes?
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I'm ok Winslow, Sober,
Just that sometimes the anxiety reminds me I'm now as well as I'd like to think I am...I mean Im still struggling with anxiety, but I'm learning why I've been having it in the first place...
Sugar!
Sugar, believe it or not is a big contributor to a host of problems I've been having with everything from gout to weight gain.... The manifestation of all these things trigger anxiety for me....Can't speak for everyone else, but for me this happens....
Since my sobriety over 120 days ago, Ive had sugar cravings that took me to unhealthy eating habits. At first, I've had it well undr control, but I seemed to let that slip....So I need to control my glycemic intake once again.... This should help with all the other ailments I'm dealing with including improved anxiety attacks.
The good news is, this anxiety is not always out of the blue, but mostly from things I have control over like my eating habits and exercise. NOT from drinking anymore....
On another note, The thought of being able to control my drinking at this point has crossed my mind a couple times.....Especially on some weekends when all seems well, the games on, and the weather is perfect for a backyard BBQ....I'm tempted to convince myself the it's "just a few....just this once.....just this moment.....".
But I didn't want to throw all that progress away for "just a moment......"....I knew better. That would've likely turned into the most gratifying, yet the most regretful thing I could do at that point.....Coupled that with the fact that I would literally feel like crap the-next morning....
So I'm glad I can look back with no regrets today, from that "moment".
Thankfully....
Just that sometimes the anxiety reminds me I'm now as well as I'd like to think I am...I mean Im still struggling with anxiety, but I'm learning why I've been having it in the first place...
Sugar!
Sugar, believe it or not is a big contributor to a host of problems I've been having with everything from gout to weight gain.... The manifestation of all these things trigger anxiety for me....Can't speak for everyone else, but for me this happens....
Since my sobriety over 120 days ago, Ive had sugar cravings that took me to unhealthy eating habits. At first, I've had it well undr control, but I seemed to let that slip....So I need to control my glycemic intake once again.... This should help with all the other ailments I'm dealing with including improved anxiety attacks.
The good news is, this anxiety is not always out of the blue, but mostly from things I have control over like my eating habits and exercise. NOT from drinking anymore....
On another note, The thought of being able to control my drinking at this point has crossed my mind a couple times.....Especially on some weekends when all seems well, the games on, and the weather is perfect for a backyard BBQ....I'm tempted to convince myself the it's "just a few....just this once.....just this moment.....".
But I didn't want to throw all that progress away for "just a moment......"....I knew better. That would've likely turned into the most gratifying, yet the most regretful thing I could do at that point.....Coupled that with the fact that I would literally feel like crap the-next morning....
So I'm glad I can look back with no regrets today, from that "moment".
Thankfully....
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Hey Intro,sugar is a huge anxiety trigger for me too as are artificial sweeteners, doing my best to avoid both of them but they're hidden in a lot of stuff,on Sunday,I had a bout of anxiety that hit me like a ton of bricks but I think it was allergy med related, for some reason I'm very sensitive to any meds,also I get low blood sugar that triggers my anxiety too,trying to do a higher protein way of eating, hope all is well,have a great day😊
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Originally Posted by Winslow
Hey Intro,sugar is a huge anxiety trigger for me too as are artificial sweeteners, doing my best to avoid both of them but they're hidden in a lot of stuff,on Sunday,I had a bout of anxiety that hit me like a ton of bricks but I think it was allergy med related, for some reason I'm very sensitive to any meds,also I get low blood sugar that triggers my anxiety too,trying to do a higher protein way of eating, hope all is well,have a great day😊
And I don't want to be on any anti-anxiety meds.....They're all too addictive....
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