Winslow

You ok Intro?

kzaug2014

What do you mean by this intro?

Dee74

Whats up, man?
D

Introvrtd1

Just trying too hard to figure out how to keep my body and mind sound..... It seems just when Im feeling good, I'll keep doing what I've been doing or try to figure out at least what I did, ro kerp that going..... Turns out, that wasn't it....

Guess its not always a physical or mental thing alone..
...it could be any number of things.....

But I definitely don't feel bad as much as I used to....

Dee74

sometime I think we just have to learn to 'be', Intro?

D

Winslow

Intro,I've been all over the place in this four months,happy,sad,anxious, ecstatic,physically sick,some days feeling like I could run a marathon, I think its just part of healing, you're cool,just don't over think this😊

Introvrtd1

Yeah Winslow.....I think I'm nuking this....too much...
Thanks for that kinda assurance....

Introvrtd1

Its weird.....

I used to look forward to dark, rainy, thunderstormy days, and didn't care how long it lasted.....Sunny days were nice to have but I hardly cared or wanted to be out in it.....Don't get me wrong, I still love a good rain now and then, but a bright sunny day is something I haven't enjoyed for a long, long, time.....Im talkin decades....

When I was drinking, I became attracted to all things dark and gloomy....Bright, sunny days didn't appeal to me because they also seemed dark and gloomy, despite the fact that the sun produced mood enhancing vitamin D!

About 70 days sobernow, and in spite of the rainy days, which I still enjoy so much, the bright, sunny days I also enjoy now. I'm having a different perspective and outlook for days like these now....

Another hmmmm moment.

kzaug2014

That's wonderful Intro! I think new perspective on nature was 1 of the best things about getting clean. I even love snowstorms now ( for a day or 2 lol. )
I think you were over thinking a few things too and am glad you're having a great day. Keep things simple.
Peace & (( Hugs ))

Soberwolf

Excellent Intro

Introvrtd1

Guess I was getting too old to be binge drinking...or heavily drinking for that matter....even if it was only beer. I wasn't into liquor but I did partake on very rare occasions....

Nevertheless, alcohol is alcohol, and it was a major contributor to anxiety for sure....These last 70-something odd days (Im losing count), I've been eating healthy and trying to stick to a regimen oflight exercise at least three times a week. It has helped greatly to keep this panic and anxiety from popping up. Theres at least a week or two between even minor flareups of even short term, low intensity panic or anxiety......The depression is the same way....a rare occurrence....

I also take a B-Complex, fish oil, vitamin C, Calcium-Magnesium-Zinc, and vitamin D supplements to keep on top of this anxiety situation....

Yeah, its kinda hard work keeping up with all this, but it seems worth it to not feel the 'morning after' withdrawal effects of drinking the day before....My sleep has been wonderful and I feel a sense of normalcy as I can go out and do things in the sun....Drive to far away places without the fear or anticipation of a panic or anxiety attack that used to plague me back when I was drinking....I meanI couldn't wait till I got that case of beer home after having been out all day when Ineeded to, so I could drink it, calm down, and pass out till morning....

Sorry this is the same ole story as I may have told it a few weeks ago, but these posts sorta keep me from collapsing into that isolation from this avenue of support....

Thanks for reading.

kzaug2014

Intro, I think it's wonderful you're doing so well & that's it's the same ole story! If you ever feel like connecting with a few people, you're always welcome to post in the benzo free thread...even if just to say "hi, I had a great day" or "hi, I had a crap day!" Consider that a formal invite ( & you could still post updates in your thread. ) I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries. (( Hugs )) KZ

Introvrtd1

Seems like being at home was the way to go whenever I felt like crap after a long night of drinking......Now, Id rather be at work than at home because being sober seems to allow me so much more to keep occupied.

That, and I feel so much more motivated.

Its a double-edged sword really.........There are certain moods of anxiety that put me in a better position to be at home where I can 'freak out' if I want to without embarrassment. Then again, being at work where I won't have to be alone is a good thing when Anxiety makes me feel as if I could ask for help if it really warrants.

Sigh...

Introvrtd1

Had another day like today at work......only difference is I felt less relaxed, but I didn't feel stressed either.

Introvrtd1

Day 78.....

Not much I can say at this point.....but......

I have noticed Ive went from anxiety attack due to alcohol withdrawals every three days after I drank , up to today, a couple dozen weeks now where Im anxious about every two weeks or so....

I want to see a time when I 'normalize' and never see it again, or where it no longer concerns me even if it occurs due to a real situation.....

Ive been doin all I can to minimize or get rid of it altogether....I hope its working......I think it is....

Introvrtd1

Posting is sort of an escape for me.....An escape from what?.... negative thinking....not allowing myself to crawl back into a depression and start thinking about that just one drink to take the edge off....

Again....Im so much older now and my body no longer seems to tolerate alcohol well...

.....The youth is wasted on the young.... Im feeling jealous.

But Im trying to keep looking forward....not back.

kzaug2014

Hey Intro,
Congrats on 78 days! You're still in the early stages of recovery. Try to remember not to analyze too much. Keep it simple, focus on the positive & your anxiety spells will get shorter & farther in between.
I agree that youth is wasted on the young. If I had the wisdom & accumulated knowledge I have now, back in my 20's, I would have done great things lol.
(( Hugs ))

Astro

Ahh yes, so many regrets about my past. I really really really should've been a rock star. But God had other plans. Like being a good father, husband, friend, municipal worker, and most of all a humble servant.

I guess the world wasn't ready for a rock star like me

Much love to you all

Introvrtd1

Heh heh Astro!

Stay positive!

Introvrtd1

Got home from work over a couple hours ago....

Im so relaxed, I fell asleep twice in front of my PC.

Nowhere near bedtime yet so I think I'll find something constructive to do till then.....