The MIZZ Episodes ..... 2023
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Happy Birthday Mizz!!
I hated the job stress so I understand.
Consider all alternatives, including writing. I love that story sketch you mentioned. But there are other ways to write also. Intermediate steps to the end goal.
Best to you.
I hated the job stress so I understand.
Consider all alternatives, including writing. I love that story sketch you mentioned. But there are other ways to write also. Intermediate steps to the end goal.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
About the upcoming stressful day at work. Many years ago I was a bartender in a bar that could get flooded with people.The thing people don't realize is that working with the public is inherently stressful. If there is a flood of people the stress is just compounded.
The way I got through it was to set a pace, a do-able pace, and stick to it until the day was over. Not a slow pace. A fast pace but not frantic.
And occasionally through the day I would think of how I might reward myself with sushi after the shift.
If the job was too terrible, and I've had a couple of horrible jobs, I found that actively looking for a different job made the terrible job more bearable. Looking for another job can take a long, long time. But while you're dong it, for me, things get more acceptable.
At least that's how things worked for me.
The way I got through it was to set a pace, a do-able pace, and stick to it until the day was over. Not a slow pace. A fast pace but not frantic.
And occasionally through the day I would think of how I might reward myself with sushi after the shift.
If the job was too terrible, and I've had a couple of horrible jobs, I found that actively looking for a different job made the terrible job more bearable. Looking for another job can take a long, long time. But while you're dong it, for me, things get more acceptable.
At least that's how things worked for me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Good Morning!
Roller Skating for my 43rd Birthday was so much FUN! It took me a little bit to get adjusted, but once I found my sea legs, it was loads of fun. I loved Roller Skating as a child. I spent hours and hours in my skates. So, now that I have a pair of Roller Skates (a gift from my spouse) I plan on using them often.
STEPPING INTO THE FUTURE:
Step ONE: I got over my fear this morning of submitting short stories. I found a specific audience for one of my writings. I hit the SUBMIT button. It doesn't matter what comes of it, or even if its published. The point was to face the fear. I faced it. You know what happened when I faced this fear? A sense of relief. This is a GIANT step in the right direction. Facing the fear and moving through it. Its out of my hands now UNIVERSE.
Step TWO: Take advice from Advbike and look at al the alternatives. I started researching this morning about Freelancing jobs. I will keep RESEARCHING until I figure out what I am able to do in this arena.
Step THREE: Continue with step one and step two.
Clearlight- Thank you. Yes, working with the public is stressful. Ive been doing it for so long that I am not sure how I am still sane? I like how you approach the unavoidable stress. I think I may have what is called "Burnout." My head is getting back to normalish. Its been a week or so since I felt partially sane. I appreciate the support. Im actively seeking positive change. ITS ALL UP FROM HERE! I hope you are doing well. Staying the course, doing the things, yada yada, and all that jazz!
Roller Skating for my 43rd Birthday was so much FUN! It took me a little bit to get adjusted, but once I found my sea legs, it was loads of fun. I loved Roller Skating as a child. I spent hours and hours in my skates. So, now that I have a pair of Roller Skates (a gift from my spouse) I plan on using them often.
STEPPING INTO THE FUTURE:
Step ONE: I got over my fear this morning of submitting short stories. I found a specific audience for one of my writings. I hit the SUBMIT button. It doesn't matter what comes of it, or even if its published. The point was to face the fear. I faced it. You know what happened when I faced this fear? A sense of relief. This is a GIANT step in the right direction. Facing the fear and moving through it. Its out of my hands now UNIVERSE.
Step TWO: Take advice from Advbike and look at al the alternatives. I started researching this morning about Freelancing jobs. I will keep RESEARCHING until I figure out what I am able to do in this arena.
Step THREE: Continue with step one and step two.
Clearlight- Thank you. Yes, working with the public is stressful. Ive been doing it for so long that I am not sure how I am still sane? I like how you approach the unavoidable stress. I think I may have what is called "Burnout." My head is getting back to normalish. Its been a week or so since I felt partially sane. I appreciate the support. Im actively seeking positive change. ITS ALL UP FROM HERE! I hope you are doing well. Staying the course, doing the things, yada yada, and all that jazz!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Mizz, big hugs as you step outside your comfort zone.
Bad jobs are kind of like drinking…….we don’t know how to live without it, but want to. Then, we take a big breath, make sure there’s deep enough water to land in, and dive off that board.
Whoosh! The water stings as it hits your stomach, and you feel relief as the water bubbles over your body on the way up to the surface. And you realize you can swim up to the surface too, for much needed air, and feel the water support your body. If you struggle, fight against the forces, you will sink.
So you tilt your face toward the sky, squeeze the water from your eyes, and feel the light warm your soul.
You got this.
Bad jobs are kind of like drinking…….we don’t know how to live without it, but want to. Then, we take a big breath, make sure there’s deep enough water to land in, and dive off that board.
Whoosh! The water stings as it hits your stomach, and you feel relief as the water bubbles over your body on the way up to the surface. And you realize you can swim up to the surface too, for much needed air, and feel the water support your body. If you struggle, fight against the forces, you will sink.
So you tilt your face toward the sky, squeeze the water from your eyes, and feel the light warm your soul.
You got this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
What are the positives about burnout and resigning from your job?
Positive: I get this time to recover. Fully recover. I didn't think this would happen but the Universe, my nervous system, and my brain had a different plan. Sobriety allowed me the courage to take action that I would not have otherwise.
Positive: Accepting the mission that your energy and days are up and down. One day I am full of energy. Then there is yesterday and today where my energy is hiding somewhere......I accept this mission to not force myself to do much. Just be. Listen to podcasts. Clean half the bathroom. Chant. Read a few pages. Put half the laundry away. Its all okay. I just might finish the bathroom later. Maybe. Who knows....
Positive: I am grateful for a spouse who recognized the burnout and we decided together to make this change. The wall was too tall to get over.....The climb had to come to an end. We are doing better with each other too. Our life is way more important than a job. Our health is more important.
Some things are mine to fix. Some things are not mine to fix. Its best to know the difference between the two. Some things are what they are and have always been. That is also not mine to change or fix or dissect or get around or redesign or......at this point in time be a part of. Toxicity can do a number on a person. Whatever role I played in the toxicity was not a role I wanted to continue to play. I just don't want to be that person.
Positive: It is okay to let things go. To move forward. Right now my forward involves these two words to myself "THANK YOU" .....
When I start to ruminate.....Cause I have a deep deep propensity to ruminate, I say "THANK YOU" and involve myself in something else. "Thank you for your concern but this thought process is not productive."
Eventually, my brain will get the message. We thought about it all too much anyways. There is nothing more to think about. The questions or thoughts never had any answers. Its unsolvable stuff. I would rather find the solutions to my own life which I believe I am truly doing now.
Positive: Im officially in therapy.
So..There is a lot to be grateful for and a lot to gain from this decision.
859 days sober.
Positive: I get this time to recover. Fully recover. I didn't think this would happen but the Universe, my nervous system, and my brain had a different plan. Sobriety allowed me the courage to take action that I would not have otherwise.
Positive: Accepting the mission that your energy and days are up and down. One day I am full of energy. Then there is yesterday and today where my energy is hiding somewhere......I accept this mission to not force myself to do much. Just be. Listen to podcasts. Clean half the bathroom. Chant. Read a few pages. Put half the laundry away. Its all okay. I just might finish the bathroom later. Maybe. Who knows....
Positive: I am grateful for a spouse who recognized the burnout and we decided together to make this change. The wall was too tall to get over.....The climb had to come to an end. We are doing better with each other too. Our life is way more important than a job. Our health is more important.
Some things are mine to fix. Some things are not mine to fix. Its best to know the difference between the two. Some things are what they are and have always been. That is also not mine to change or fix or dissect or get around or redesign or......at this point in time be a part of. Toxicity can do a number on a person. Whatever role I played in the toxicity was not a role I wanted to continue to play. I just don't want to be that person.
Positive: It is okay to let things go. To move forward. Right now my forward involves these two words to myself "THANK YOU" .....
When I start to ruminate.....Cause I have a deep deep propensity to ruminate, I say "THANK YOU" and involve myself in something else. "Thank you for your concern but this thought process is not productive."
Eventually, my brain will get the message. We thought about it all too much anyways. There is nothing more to think about. The questions or thoughts never had any answers. Its unsolvable stuff. I would rather find the solutions to my own life which I believe I am truly doing now.
Positive: Im officially in therapy.
So..There is a lot to be grateful for and a lot to gain from this decision.
859 days sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Originally Posted by Mizz 
Sobriety allowed me the courage to take action that I would not have otherwise.
Positive: It is okay to let things go. To move forward.
Positive: It is okay to let things go. To move forward.
and this..
Originally Posted by Mizz
Eventually, my brain will get the message. We thought about it all too much anyways. There is nothing more to think about. The questions or thoughts never had any answers. Its unsolvable stuff.
Keep up the good work, Mizz - you are my inspiration.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
My google search history says a lot about where I am at in my life right now.
"Do Pirates laugh "Har, har. har or "Yar, har, har, har?"
"How many knitting stiches are there?"
"Do sheep bleat or baa?"
"Is a pickled pepper something you can pick?"
(its a pepper that's been pickled. Like, do you glue the pickled pepper back onto the plant you picked it from so you can then pick a pickled pepper. The point is: Peter Piper did not pick a peck of pickled peppers. He picked peppers. You cant pick a peck of pickled peppers!
Duh!
"Is foot juggling a thing?"
"Who said "Rome wasn't built in a day?"
I think I'm doing well. Sober. Running. Chanting. Writing. Reading. Singing. Printing. Crossing off. Rewording. Writing. Cooking. Baking. Listening to Podcasts while scrubbing the tile in the bathroom for multiple days in a row until I realized that I was a bit "Obsessive" with the tile. I officially gave up when the can of Kaboom was gone, and also when my remaining brain cells were having a funeral for the two brain cells that died. Yes, the windows were open. No, I cannot read the ingredients even with my glasses on. No, I will not be buying Kaboom in the near future. The general cleaners are deemed "Natural" in this house but those tiles were not getting the message. Note to self: Calendar the tile scrubbing for once a week! You now have ALL THE TIME. Not just some of the time. You have ALL THE TIME. For now.
Therapy is going well too. I divorced my job and its a transition. So, I'm transitioning. The transition involves letting go and that in itself is a process. Its getting easier. Thanks, Dropsie!
We also talked about anxiety and rumination. Having both is a bit wonky. The multi tasking, doing too many things, with too many lists, and the continual juggling of it all was not helpful for a successful healthy Mizz. Like the Dave Matthews song "Too Much" ...Add in a protest, a social media uprising, and some real toxicity and Mizz will walk on out the door. It was a set up for a burnout. I wish.......What do I wish? I think I had magical thinking with my job. So, I do not wish for all the things I once wished for. Wishing was not something that was productive.
I get to make some decisions when I go speak with the doc early March.
I dont want to get zonked out from meds. Im willing to speak about meds and all their side effects, etc. Im not making any decisions though. I have reasons. The reasons are valid.
My spouse said to me "Are you okay today? You seem worried?"
Me: "Really? Are we just meeting each other?"
867 days sober.
Its been snowing here. Then it was sunny. Then it was slushy snow. Then it rained. All of this "weather" in a matter of 6 hours. I came to the conclusion that the weather is in weatherpause. Hot. Cold. Warm. Cold. Hot. I hope it sorts itself out soon.
"Do Pirates laugh "Har, har. har or "Yar, har, har, har?"
"How many knitting stiches are there?"
"Do sheep bleat or baa?"
"Is a pickled pepper something you can pick?"
(its a pepper that's been pickled. Like, do you glue the pickled pepper back onto the plant you picked it from so you can then pick a pickled pepper. The point is: Peter Piper did not pick a peck of pickled peppers. He picked peppers. You cant pick a peck of pickled peppers!
Duh!"Is foot juggling a thing?"
"Who said "Rome wasn't built in a day?"
I think I'm doing well. Sober. Running. Chanting. Writing. Reading. Singing. Printing. Crossing off. Rewording. Writing. Cooking. Baking. Listening to Podcasts while scrubbing the tile in the bathroom for multiple days in a row until I realized that I was a bit "Obsessive" with the tile. I officially gave up when the can of Kaboom was gone, and also when my remaining brain cells were having a funeral for the two brain cells that died. Yes, the windows were open. No, I cannot read the ingredients even with my glasses on. No, I will not be buying Kaboom in the near future. The general cleaners are deemed "Natural" in this house but those tiles were not getting the message. Note to self: Calendar the tile scrubbing for once a week! You now have ALL THE TIME. Not just some of the time. You have ALL THE TIME. For now.
Therapy is going well too. I divorced my job and its a transition. So, I'm transitioning. The transition involves letting go and that in itself is a process. Its getting easier. Thanks, Dropsie!
We also talked about anxiety and rumination. Having both is a bit wonky. The multi tasking, doing too many things, with too many lists, and the continual juggling of it all was not helpful for a successful healthy Mizz. Like the Dave Matthews song "Too Much" ...Add in a protest, a social media uprising, and some real toxicity and Mizz will walk on out the door. It was a set up for a burnout. I wish.......What do I wish? I think I had magical thinking with my job. So, I do not wish for all the things I once wished for. Wishing was not something that was productive.
I get to make some decisions when I go speak with the doc early March.
I dont want to get zonked out from meds. Im willing to speak about meds and all their side effects, etc. Im not making any decisions though. I have reasons. The reasons are valid.
My spouse said to me "Are you okay today? You seem worried?"
Me: "Really? Are we just meeting each other?"
867 days sober.
Its been snowing here. Then it was sunny. Then it was slushy snow. Then it rained. All of this "weather" in a matter of 6 hours. I came to the conclusion that the weather is in weatherpause. Hot. Cold. Warm. Cold. Hot. I hope it sorts itself out soon.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,984
Originally Posted by Zencat View Post (Recovered vs Recovery)
"What would best describe a wellness maintenance stage better, recovery or recovered? I'll pick recovery I guess. But I choose to say when asked: 'I had an illness that once had me. With a daily wellness plan I can manage my mental health symptoms and maintain a freedom from harmful addictions. How about recovery-ed. Combine the two concepts into a concept of your own"
"What would best describe a wellness maintenance stage better, recovery or recovered? I'll pick recovery I guess. But I choose to say when asked: 'I had an illness that once had me. With a daily wellness plan I can manage my mental health symptoms and maintain a freedom from harmful addictions. How about recovery-ed. Combine the two concepts into a concept of your own"
Originally Posted by Mizz
YES! Combining the two makes sense.
I like the Wellness maintenance stage concept. I mean, that is where we find ourselves and it is imperative to stay active in this stage.
I was also thinking about individuals who have dual issues.... GAD and alcoholism or Bipolar and Alcoholism etc and how much we have to put into our Wellness in order to maintain lasting sobriety. Its a real tricky song and dance. One I have seen play out in myself for years. My GAD can send me into a tailspin.... Anyways that is another thread entirely and possibly one for the mental health section of this forum I digress
I like the way you think!
I like the Wellness maintenance stage concept. I mean, that is where we find ourselves and it is imperative to stay active in this stage.
I was also thinking about individuals who have dual issues.... GAD and alcoholism or Bipolar and Alcoholism etc and how much we have to put into our Wellness in order to maintain lasting sobriety. Its a real tricky song and dance. One I have seen play out in myself for years. My GAD can send me into a tailspin.... Anyways that is another thread entirely and possibly one for the mental health section of this forum
I digressI like the way you think!
I'm tuning to the Mizz lifelong wellness journey.Recovered/Recovery Maybe I'm in 'Re-Re Covery-edded' LOL.
"If you do enough small things right, big things can happen". John Wooden
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Gosh.... 5 weeks in and I'm feeling a heck of a lot more stable.
Wake at 4 am. Chanting/ meditation for 30 minutes.
Literature or a podcast until 6 am
Run and lift weights for an hour
Eat breakfast and get dressed
Gratitude journal for ten minutes.
Write in my personal journal for ten minutes.
Be productive around the house and plan dinner.
Write more.
More chanting and literature.
Ive read numerous books on Buddhism and also light hearted stuff by Jenny Lawson and David Sedaris. Laughing so hard at the essays that I was crying. Thats the good stuff right there.
Ive reached out to the Juvenile hall for volunteer work. Now that I have the time to volunteer, I think this would be beneficial on all levels. I have a bit of fear in volunteering but fear does not have to hold me back. I also needed to think about how I would like to spend my time and with whom. Having the experience of being chained and shackled when I was a teen and spending time being confined does allow for me to be able to relate. Its not a story anyone wants but there is hope. Life does get better.
I'm practicing "single tasking" and being present with each task. There is a sense of accomplishment to do one thing at a time. Single tasking has allowed me to see that even though I multi tasked like crazy, Im not suited to that type of hustle. I dont think people are supposed to do 5 things at once.
Its really quiet here. The quiet has offered my brain a chance to calm down. Its amazing actually. Time is a healer. I am grateful for all of this change. Grateful to have an extended break from being in the workforce. Grateful to be calm. Grateful to be sober. Just all around grateful!
873 days Sober
Wake at 4 am. Chanting/ meditation for 30 minutes.
Literature or a podcast until 6 am
Run and lift weights for an hour
Eat breakfast and get dressed
Gratitude journal for ten minutes.
Write in my personal journal for ten minutes.
Be productive around the house and plan dinner.
Write more.
More chanting and literature.
Ive read numerous books on Buddhism and also light hearted stuff by Jenny Lawson and David Sedaris. Laughing so hard at the essays that I was crying. Thats the good stuff right there.
Ive reached out to the Juvenile hall for volunteer work. Now that I have the time to volunteer, I think this would be beneficial on all levels. I have a bit of fear in volunteering but fear does not have to hold me back. I also needed to think about how I would like to spend my time and with whom. Having the experience of being chained and shackled when I was a teen and spending time being confined does allow for me to be able to relate. Its not a story anyone wants but there is hope. Life does get better.
I'm practicing "single tasking" and being present with each task. There is a sense of accomplishment to do one thing at a time. Single tasking has allowed me to see that even though I multi tasked like crazy, Im not suited to that type of hustle. I dont think people are supposed to do 5 things at once.
Its really quiet here. The quiet has offered my brain a chance to calm down. Its amazing actually. Time is a healer. I am grateful for all of this change. Grateful to have an extended break from being in the workforce. Grateful to be calm. Grateful to be sober. Just all around grateful!
873 days Sober
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Absolutely wonderful to hear, Mizz. Just don't be in a rush to replace the old with the new. Let the healing continue and take time to explore your options. But in any case it does seem that the stress and anxiety has lifted from your shoulders and that's just wonderful. Quiet is absolutely transformative - and increasingly rare in our world. Let it heal you.
I'm headed back to my own "quiet space" in a couple of weeks and can't wait.
I'm headed back to my own "quiet space" in a couple of weeks and can't wait.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Thanks for the support!
For the next six to eight months I will not be in an employment situation. We have enough resources to allow for an extended break. Just staying in the present moment. Implementing as many healthy tools as possible and moving forward. A lot can happen in one month let alone 6. I am very excited about the future.
I am HAPPY to report that I do not need anti-anxiety med/ anti-depressant/ SSRI. The rumination, worry, intrusive thoughts and anxious feelings have all but left. Its a huge relief actually. As much as I did not want to use meds, I was more than willing to have the conversation due to mental suffering. Anxiety, rumination, and intrusive thoughts = Suffering. My brain turned a corner. Good job, Brain! You were not having a good time for quite awhile. Keep going in the right direction and keep doing all those healthy things! You got this!
I know medication is there for me if I need it in the future. Its truly a night and day scenario over here. ....
Never Be Defeated!
877 days sober.
For the next six to eight months I will not be in an employment situation. We have enough resources to allow for an extended break. Just staying in the present moment. Implementing as many healthy tools as possible and moving forward. A lot can happen in one month let alone 6. I am very excited about the future.
I am HAPPY to report that I do not need anti-anxiety med/ anti-depressant/ SSRI. The rumination, worry, intrusive thoughts and anxious feelings have all but left. Its a huge relief actually. As much as I did not want to use meds, I was more than willing to have the conversation due to mental suffering. Anxiety, rumination, and intrusive thoughts = Suffering. My brain turned a corner. Good job, Brain! You were not having a good time for quite awhile. Keep going in the right direction and keep doing all those healthy things! You got this!
I know medication is there for me if I need it in the future. Its truly a night and day scenario over here. ....
Never Be Defeated!
877 days sober.
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