The MIZZ Episodes ..... 2023
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The MIZZ Episodes ..... 2023
Creating New Habits reached the 500th episode. The network told me I could renew or start something new. After little consideration, I decided to start a spin off series. This show will be about Sobriety, life in the middle of nowhere, running, and loads of other stuff. Stay tuned for our season premiere and HAVE AN AMAZING DAY, SOBER RECOVERY!
824 days sober.
824 days sober.
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"JAW SOME!"
My kitchen table is covered in a "Jaw some!" birthday party table cloth. Shark theme. I took down the GIANT Shark Balloon. My spouse has a deep fear of sharks. I mean, who doesn't? When perusing the aisles at our local TARGET, I stumbled upon this JAW SOME stuff, and then said to myself "What would a 51 year old want for their birthday? I know! Ill buy this stuff made for a 4 year old and see where it gets us!" That's what I'll do!"
The party was FUN! I baked a cake that would of looked JAW SOME with two cans of frosting. Part of the cake had little frosting. This is about the effort, people. Effort. Nothing more and nothing less!
He was gifted with a Plasma Ball. An electric toothbrush. An egg pan. A pack of undershirts. A strainer. You know....All the good stuff for a 51 year old. The Plasma Ball being the highlight of the night!
I'm waking with more energy now. I realized that I had not been taking my usual supplements and I think this was the problem. A few days of cordyceps, multis, and some Vitamin D has given me a new zest or just my usual zest.
Off to run. Off to work. Off to conquer.
Sober: 825 days
My kitchen table is covered in a "Jaw some!" birthday party table cloth. Shark theme. I took down the GIANT Shark Balloon. My spouse has a deep fear of sharks. I mean, who doesn't? When perusing the aisles at our local TARGET, I stumbled upon this JAW SOME stuff, and then said to myself "What would a 51 year old want for their birthday? I know! Ill buy this stuff made for a 4 year old and see where it gets us!" That's what I'll do!"
The party was FUN! I baked a cake that would of looked JAW SOME with two cans of frosting. Part of the cake had little frosting. This is about the effort, people. Effort. Nothing more and nothing less!
He was gifted with a Plasma Ball. An electric toothbrush. An egg pan. A pack of undershirts. A strainer. You know....All the good stuff for a 51 year old. The Plasma Ball being the highlight of the night!
I'm waking with more energy now. I realized that I had not been taking my usual supplements and I think this was the problem. A few days of cordyceps, multis, and some Vitamin D has given me a new zest or just my usual zest.
Off to run. Off to work. Off to conquer.
Sober: 825 days
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Haha, a new adventure! Looking forward to reading chapters in the latest series!
Sounds like a great birthday celebration, Mizz. You really put a lot into your relationship.
Your insights are just wonderful to read about. Congrats on 825 days - now *that* is really amazing!
Wishing you a FANTASTIC YEAR!
Sounds like a great birthday celebration, Mizz. You really put a lot into your relationship.
Your insights are just wonderful to read about. Congrats on 825 days - now *that* is really amazing!
Wishing you a FANTASTIC YEAR!
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Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by advbike 
Haha, a new adventure! Looking forward to reading chapters in the latest series!
Sounds like a great birthday celebration, Mizz. You really put a lot into your relationship.
Your insights are just wonderful to read about. Congrats on 825 days - now *that* is really amazing!
Wishing you a FANTASTIC YEAR!
Sounds like a great birthday celebration, Mizz. You really put a lot into your relationship.
Your insights are just wonderful to read about. Congrats on 825 days - now *that* is really amazing!
Wishing you a FANTASTIC YEAR!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
"80/ 20"
Ive been thinking about effort. Specifically how much effort I give to a task, or how much energy I exert on any given day. I give 100% to all the things I tackle. For example, I wrote a few manuals for my work. These manuals are not just pages of words. One manual has a Galactic cover, pop culture references, dividers, laminated pages, and from my perspective we are just getting started. When I go about to reset an area in my work, all the shampoos, conditioners, and face washes are on the floor, and its a hazard zone for many hours until the entire area is reset and shining. I dont approach anything without the EXTRA.
Even today, I was going to work a half day. I told myself, "Just show up and do the necessary and get yourself home" ....... Well, I was swimming in some project that I started on my own accord. It was 30 minutes past clock out time before I left. I even have a habit of asking my boss if I can work a half day, and he is always happy to agree. He finds me working away a few hours later. He knows I'm not leaving.
Ive identified this EXTRA as being a thorn in my side. This is that balance thing I wrote about in the last series. Balance. Knowing when the effort is acceptable and then leaving it be. It just needs to be acceptable.
Needless to say, I am exhausted when the weekend comes and my brain goes blank. The things I know I need to do will sit there until I have a bit of "Staring off into space" time. The "staring off into space" can take an entire weekend. I nap. I read. I get on here and ramble, but that 100% is missing in the things that truly matter to me.
What truly matters to me right now?
Having the brain power to finish the pages on the stories I am writing. One is whimsical and fun. The other is real and memory filled. Its two unfinished pieces that need focus and are deserving of my time and energy. I don't give a **** if those two pieces never see the light of day. None of that matters. What matters is that I finish what I start. I then present the finished pieces to myself and say "You finished. You did this. I am proud of you!"
I think..... I think I had felt like I was failing myself a few years ago. Its kind of hard to see clearly when you're swimming in a wine barrel. Those wine barrels produce an immense amount of regret. Days lost to hangovers. Days lost to trying to gather information on what transpired. I put MAX effort into my drinking career. Ultimately, it was not a good fit and I retired. I found a position that was more suited to living a life and not destroying it. Now I work to find the balance with all of it. I wish there was a manual for this type of struggle. A "How to accomplish all the things"
So, Ill be dialing it back on the work front. Its an 80/ 20 effort now. Slow down a little. I have nothing to prove to anyone. Do I need to prove anything to anyone? No. Absolutely not.
Well......I MUST prove to myself that I can finish these pieces I started. Get through the whole arduous process. Start to finish.
The next time I come to this place, I will be reporting that I hammered out a bunch of words on a page. I did write for an hour this morning. I have been writing. Its just not coming easy to me right now..... Then I go off to the place that pays. Before that I try to get in running and weights. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO GET ALL THESE IMPORTANT THINGS DONE!
I mean... These problems are not even problems, Mizz. Keep it in perspective.
827 days sober.
Ive been thinking about effort. Specifically how much effort I give to a task, or how much energy I exert on any given day. I give 100% to all the things I tackle. For example, I wrote a few manuals for my work. These manuals are not just pages of words. One manual has a Galactic cover, pop culture references, dividers, laminated pages, and from my perspective we are just getting started. When I go about to reset an area in my work, all the shampoos, conditioners, and face washes are on the floor, and its a hazard zone for many hours until the entire area is reset and shining. I dont approach anything without the EXTRA.
Even today, I was going to work a half day. I told myself, "Just show up and do the necessary and get yourself home" ....... Well, I was swimming in some project that I started on my own accord. It was 30 minutes past clock out time before I left. I even have a habit of asking my boss if I can work a half day, and he is always happy to agree. He finds me working away a few hours later. He knows I'm not leaving.
Ive identified this EXTRA as being a thorn in my side. This is that balance thing I wrote about in the last series. Balance. Knowing when the effort is acceptable and then leaving it be. It just needs to be acceptable.
Needless to say, I am exhausted when the weekend comes and my brain goes blank. The things I know I need to do will sit there until I have a bit of "Staring off into space" time. The "staring off into space" can take an entire weekend. I nap. I read. I get on here and ramble, but that 100% is missing in the things that truly matter to me.
What truly matters to me right now?
Having the brain power to finish the pages on the stories I am writing. One is whimsical and fun. The other is real and memory filled. Its two unfinished pieces that need focus and are deserving of my time and energy. I don't give a **** if those two pieces never see the light of day. None of that matters. What matters is that I finish what I start. I then present the finished pieces to myself and say "You finished. You did this. I am proud of you!"
I think..... I think I had felt like I was failing myself a few years ago. Its kind of hard to see clearly when you're swimming in a wine barrel. Those wine barrels produce an immense amount of regret. Days lost to hangovers. Days lost to trying to gather information on what transpired. I put MAX effort into my drinking career. Ultimately, it was not a good fit and I retired. I found a position that was more suited to living a life and not destroying it. Now I work to find the balance with all of it. I wish there was a manual for this type of struggle. A "How to accomplish all the things"
So, Ill be dialing it back on the work front. Its an 80/ 20 effort now. Slow down a little. I have nothing to prove to anyone. Do I need to prove anything to anyone? No. Absolutely not.
Well......I MUST prove to myself that I can finish these pieces I started. Get through the whole arduous process. Start to finish.
The next time I come to this place, I will be reporting that I hammered out a bunch of words on a page. I did write for an hour this morning. I have been writing. Its just not coming easy to me right now..... Then I go off to the place that pays. Before that I try to get in running and weights. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO GET ALL THESE IMPORTANT THINGS DONE!
I mean... These problems are not even problems, Mizz. Keep it in perspective.
827 days sober.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Great focus on the re-balancing efforts, Mizz. Throughout my corporate career I said yes to everything and then doubled my workload due to my need to do things perfectly. Oh they loved it, lol. I burned out a couple times - once when I was a senior executive and quit to do a more zen type of thing for five years, and then later on when I made the mistake of going back into the same industry as a system engineer and realized after 5 unhappy years that my head just wasn't into it anymore - so I retired.
It would have been MUCH BETTER to have found that balance of REWARDING WORK.. and the personal-spiritual... and satisfy all aspects of my life, which I was only able to do from time to time The zen thing was fantastic - sustainable land development - and the project turned out well as it leveraged my strengths, but it was a limited opportunity and the real estate crash and subsequent market meltdown put an end to that. I think you are doing really well and are on the right track.
It would have been MUCH BETTER to have found that balance of REWARDING WORK.. and the personal-spiritual... and satisfy all aspects of my life, which I was only able to do from time to time The zen thing was fantastic - sustainable land development - and the project turned out well as it leveraged my strengths, but it was a limited opportunity and the real estate crash and subsequent market meltdown put an end to that. I think you are doing really well and are on the right track.
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"Work Boycott"
The social medias have spoken, The company was on the local news. Threads of hate speech and condemnation on multiple media platforms. Replies going into 500 or more. Phone calls of anger. An email created to offer angry customers. Loads of stress and more stress. Just more ******* stress.
On Saturday there will be a protest. Im not sure who and how many. Its happening. That is the plan. I wonder how many will show?
Its been a hell of a ride for the last day. I showed up to my job and it was a ghost town. Before I knew it the Upper Management had left the building and then one after another was out the door. I look around to see that there are very few Managers to sail this ship. Its funny to me. Here we are, in one of the biggest storms we have sailed, and people were out. We all have our way of processing, I suppose. One person is being shamed to such a degree that Im not sure how they will make it out of this. How we will make it out? People are demanding change.
I woke at 3 am this morning. I hope to sleep soon. I hope this ship starts sailing in the right direction. I dont know if this is my ship anymore.
So, a good nights sleep. A chant in the morning. A new day is coming. Its probably more of the same. Probably? Its going to be more of the same.
So, Ive never been in this sort of predicament before. I am healthy. I am sober. I am processing.
This place I work has always been top notch stressful. It shouldnt be that way. Its a god damn natural foods store. Ive given it my best. Really, My honest to god best. I just feel like this level of **** happening is beyond what I am capable of doing. Its not healthy. We are all affected on a very deep level.
I stayed at work today in this ghost town of a place. Listened to two crying coworkers. Both went home. I tried my hardest to work and give it my all. I didnt really succeed in getting much done but I was there. ....I showed up. I did not leave. Thats something.
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR TUNING IN!
Advbike, I hope you are recovered from your long journey.
Dropsie- I hope you are doing well.
Free- How are you?
Plop- I havent seen you in awhile.
Everyone else.... HELLO! Lets keep moving forward and never be defeated.
The social medias have spoken, The company was on the local news. Threads of hate speech and condemnation on multiple media platforms. Replies going into 500 or more. Phone calls of anger. An email created to offer angry customers. Loads of stress and more stress. Just more ******* stress.
On Saturday there will be a protest. Im not sure who and how many. Its happening. That is the plan. I wonder how many will show?
Its been a hell of a ride for the last day. I showed up to my job and it was a ghost town. Before I knew it the Upper Management had left the building and then one after another was out the door. I look around to see that there are very few Managers to sail this ship. Its funny to me. Here we are, in one of the biggest storms we have sailed, and people were out. We all have our way of processing, I suppose. One person is being shamed to such a degree that Im not sure how they will make it out of this. How we will make it out? People are demanding change.
I woke at 3 am this morning. I hope to sleep soon. I hope this ship starts sailing in the right direction. I dont know if this is my ship anymore.
So, a good nights sleep. A chant in the morning. A new day is coming. Its probably more of the same. Probably? Its going to be more of the same.
So, Ive never been in this sort of predicament before. I am healthy. I am sober. I am processing.
This place I work has always been top notch stressful. It shouldnt be that way. Its a god damn natural foods store. Ive given it my best. Really, My honest to god best. I just feel like this level of **** happening is beyond what I am capable of doing. Its not healthy. We are all affected on a very deep level.
I stayed at work today in this ghost town of a place. Listened to two crying coworkers. Both went home. I tried my hardest to work and give it my all. I didnt really succeed in getting much done but I was there. ....I showed up. I did not leave. Thats something.
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR TUNING IN!
Advbike, I hope you are recovered from your long journey.
Dropsie- I hope you are doing well.
Free- How are you?
Plop- I havent seen you in awhile.
Everyone else.... HELLO! Lets keep moving forward and never be defeated.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I'm so sorry to hear how bad things are, Mizz. I can't imagine what happened but it sounds terrible if social media is involved, and driving the narrative. Glad you have taken some time off. . Please protect yourself. Stay sober. A huge hug for you
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
Mizz
Eight years ago the profitable company I worked at for ten years was sold to the big competitor and dissolved. Without warning. In time I found another job but after 9 months that company was also sold and they fired all the contract workers. After that I found work at perhaps the worst place I've ever worked. My position had a 100% yearly turn over. I lasted 1-1/2 years till I was finally let go. That was a real low point. There were nights and mornings I prayed that God would simply take me. I'm working another job which will probably soon disappear. But somehow things are better.
Drinking, drinking and more drinking. But I'm now actively working seeking sobriety.
I remember you from a couple years ago and you give me hope. You've done so much and still sober! Please watch yourself and do everything to keep your spirits up.
You can do this. You have what it takes to do this.
I thank you this morning for the inspiration you've given me.
Eight years ago the profitable company I worked at for ten years was sold to the big competitor and dissolved. Without warning. In time I found another job but after 9 months that company was also sold and they fired all the contract workers. After that I found work at perhaps the worst place I've ever worked. My position had a 100% yearly turn over. I lasted 1-1/2 years till I was finally let go. That was a real low point. There were nights and mornings I prayed that God would simply take me. I'm working another job which will probably soon disappear. But somehow things are better.
Drinking, drinking and more drinking. But I'm now actively working seeking sobriety.
I remember you from a couple years ago and you give me hope. You've done so much and still sober! Please watch yourself and do everything to keep your spirits up.
You can do this. You have what it takes to do this.
I thank you this morning for the inspiration you've given me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
HELLO!
Clearlight, its good to see you. Welcome back to the forum.
Thank You Advbike and Dropsie!
I have this story I am writing about a Cymbal Chimp. His name is Hal. He ran away from the circus, and drove his dilapidated car to the middle of nowhere. He got a job at a small store doing various tasks. The antagonist is Mrs. Price. A small Hyena woman who manages the ten keys and rules the finances. She is a bully and uses the phrase "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" on repeat. There is a whole lot more to the story and the shenanigans ..... Its been fun. A very comical time for me. My subconscious and conscious mind all coming out onto the paper. Its hysterical. All the characters have a backstory. There is even an Orchestra that plays all day long at the towns circle.
I received a text from a coworker today and she is one of the two coworkers for two plus departments. She broke her wrist in three places. Valentines Day is fast approaching and it will be me, if I go back, to deal with all these flowers and make sure the department makes profit. People will be scheduled to help whether they are trained or not but its still a TON OF STRESS. Last year, I was having eye surgery during the Valentines extravaganza. I was sent an email after about Valentines and how the numbers were not profitable. Like, I was in eye surgery. Not my problem.
The idea of handling V-day and the other department makes me sick to my stomach. The management really doesnt care about the stress levels. They want profit. So, Thankfully I have some time to think and get myself level. I care about my stress levels and I care about my health. Im not a workaholic. This is not my company. Im allowed to be healthy.
My doctors appointment is the first week of Feb. I have time to calm down and to think of my life and what I want it to be. I own a home. I bought a new car. I have two cats to feed. I have a stress/ anxiety disorder... Actually, I dont know what I have. Im not trying to diagnose myself or throw out stuff that does not apply. Maybe I just cant take this **** anymore? Totally understandable. Im not going to be told this is normal to deal with. Its not. ITS NOT NORMAL AND ITS NOT HEALTHY!
I need to get myself on the UP AND UP.
I took a run today. I listened to music. Sang to Cyndi Lauper. My birthday is tomorrow. Ill be the BIG 43.
Sober for 840 days
Clearlight, its good to see you. Welcome back to the forum.
Thank You Advbike and Dropsie!
I have this story I am writing about a Cymbal Chimp. His name is Hal. He ran away from the circus, and drove his dilapidated car to the middle of nowhere. He got a job at a small store doing various tasks. The antagonist is Mrs. Price. A small Hyena woman who manages the ten keys and rules the finances. She is a bully and uses the phrase "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" on repeat. There is a whole lot more to the story and the shenanigans ..... Its been fun. A very comical time for me. My subconscious and conscious mind all coming out onto the paper. Its hysterical. All the characters have a backstory. There is even an Orchestra that plays all day long at the towns circle.
I received a text from a coworker today and she is one of the two coworkers for two plus departments. She broke her wrist in three places. Valentines Day is fast approaching and it will be me, if I go back, to deal with all these flowers and make sure the department makes profit. People will be scheduled to help whether they are trained or not but its still a TON OF STRESS. Last year, I was having eye surgery during the Valentines extravaganza. I was sent an email after about Valentines and how the numbers were not profitable. Like, I was in eye surgery. Not my problem.
The idea of handling V-day and the other department makes me sick to my stomach. The management really doesnt care about the stress levels. They want profit. So, Thankfully I have some time to think and get myself level. I care about my stress levels and I care about my health. Im not a workaholic. This is not my company. Im allowed to be healthy.
My doctors appointment is the first week of Feb. I have time to calm down and to think of my life and what I want it to be. I own a home. I bought a new car. I have two cats to feed. I have a stress/ anxiety disorder... Actually, I dont know what I have. Im not trying to diagnose myself or throw out stuff that does not apply. Maybe I just cant take this **** anymore? Totally understandable. Im not going to be told this is normal to deal with. Its not. ITS NOT NORMAL AND ITS NOT HEALTHY!
I need to get myself on the UP AND UP.
I took a run today. I listened to music. Sang to Cyndi Lauper. My birthday is tomorrow. Ill be the BIG 43.
Sober for 840 days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by ClearLight
Mizz
Eight years ago the profitable company I worked at for ten years was sold to the big competitor and dissolved. Without warning. In time I found another job but after 9 months that company was also sold and they fired all the contract workers. After that I found work at perhaps the worst place I've ever worked. My position had a 100% yearly turn over. I lasted 1-1/2 years till I was finally let go. That was a real low point. There were nights and mornings I prayed that God would simply take me. I'm working another job which will probably soon disappear. But somehow things are better.
Drinking, drinking and more drinking. But I'm now actively working seeking sobriety.
I remember you from a couple years ago and you give me hope. You've done so much and still sober! Please watch yourself and do everything to keep your spirits up.
You can do this. You have what it takes to do this.
I thank you this morning for the inspiration you've given me.
Eight years ago the profitable company I worked at for ten years was sold to the big competitor and dissolved. Without warning. In time I found another job but after 9 months that company was also sold and they fired all the contract workers. After that I found work at perhaps the worst place I've ever worked. My position had a 100% yearly turn over. I lasted 1-1/2 years till I was finally let go. That was a real low point. There were nights and mornings I prayed that God would simply take me. I'm working another job which will probably soon disappear. But somehow things are better.
Drinking, drinking and more drinking. But I'm now actively working seeking sobriety.
I remember you from a couple years ago and you give me hope. You've done so much and still sober! Please watch yourself and do everything to keep your spirits up.
You can do this. You have what it takes to do this.
I thank you this morning for the inspiration you've given me.
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