I think I'm going to drink...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 156
I'm going to that party. There is no way I'm not. I just hope I don't drink because honestly I would rather not throw away nearly 3 years clean. I will write more when back at home...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 156
Honestly if a person has been sobe nearly 3 years and still can't socialize with the few people left that they know, what's the point? I mean I might as well crawl under a rock or same difference, be dead.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
sounds like you've convinced yourself your two choices are to go to the party or never connect with people again.
You don't need me to tell you what a false premise that is.
I bet you could find something else to do this weekend and people to do it with that wouldn't be as risky for your recovery.
Not going to this party doesn't mean you'll never go to a party again. It just means that right now you have the self awareness that you're struggling with mental health and with your recovery.
3 years or 30 years we need to be vigilant. And we need to work some kind of programme or plan that keeps us healthy in all respects - mental and physical. We can't always be happy but we can be at peace I think.
We need to strive for that place where we know drinking is not the answer, no matter what the question
We can resent that all we like but thats the bottom line, man.
I have 15 years and I don't go to every party I have an invite to.
Sometimes I don't like the people.
Sometimes I just can't be bothered getting myself in party shape.
and sometimes I just know it will be a drink and/or drug affair.
Its not for me and I'm not interested.
If you don't look out for yourself D noone else will.
D
You don't need me to tell you what a false premise that is.
I bet you could find something else to do this weekend and people to do it with that wouldn't be as risky for your recovery.
Not going to this party doesn't mean you'll never go to a party again. It just means that right now you have the self awareness that you're struggling with mental health and with your recovery.
3 years or 30 years we need to be vigilant. And we need to work some kind of programme or plan that keeps us healthy in all respects - mental and physical. We can't always be happy but we can be at peace I think.
We need to strive for that place where we know drinking is not the answer, no matter what the question
We can resent that all we like but thats the bottom line, man.
I have 15 years and I don't go to every party I have an invite to.
Sometimes I don't like the people.
Sometimes I just can't be bothered getting myself in party shape.
and sometimes I just know it will be a drink and/or drug affair.
Its not for me and I'm not interested.
If you don't look out for yourself D noone else will.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
Do you exercise at all?
I like to get a good, hard run or a good weightlifting session in before that kind of a situation.
I've had many nights that I would walk into the gym and feel like a lamb, just not wanting to see people at all. I would just push through and crank up the intensity and feel like a lion by the time I left.
Almost like walking in a bar and drinking but I don't have to worry about getting too crazy, getting arrested, hangovers etc. I use to always have tremendous anxiety walking in a bar. Even a familiar one. I would need to get really drunk, really fast.
To me exercise is a natural drug that i don't think any artificial drugs can match when you weigh all the factors. Like alcohol, something in me changes after a workout but its all for the better.
I like to get a good, hard run or a good weightlifting session in before that kind of a situation.
I've had many nights that I would walk into the gym and feel like a lamb, just not wanting to see people at all. I would just push through and crank up the intensity and feel like a lion by the time I left.
Almost like walking in a bar and drinking but I don't have to worry about getting too crazy, getting arrested, hangovers etc. I use to always have tremendous anxiety walking in a bar. Even a familiar one. I would need to get really drunk, really fast.
To me exercise is a natural drug that i don't think any artificial drugs can match when you weigh all the factors. Like alcohol, something in me changes after a workout but its all for the better.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
okay, so you’re going to the party.
and you hope you won’t drink.
hm...hope isn’t gonna do the trick. but if you really are decided to go, you could add a whole bunch of action to that vague hope and turn this into a sober event for yourself.
- make sure you have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand at all times
-make sure you have access to an easy exit if things get iffy
-find someone there who’s not drinking and hang with them
that kind of thing.
all that being said, check your real motives of why oh why you’re going.
and you hope you won’t drink.
hm...hope isn’t gonna do the trick. but if you really are decided to go, you could add a whole bunch of action to that vague hope and turn this into a sober event for yourself.
- make sure you have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand at all times
-make sure you have access to an easy exit if things get iffy
-find someone there who’s not drinking and hang with them
that kind of thing.
all that being said, check your real motives of why oh why you’re going.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 411
Sunday is all well and good....what will you do when Monday comes around? You mention about playing the tape backwards which is useful in some situations. At this point I think you should be playing it forwards and realising where this is going to land you. You say that you have some issues around social awkwardness. There are ways and means how to address it. Playing chicken with your sobriety isnt one of them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Amnesiac 
Honestly if a person has been sober nearly 3 years and still can't socialize with the few people left that they know, what's the point? I mean I might as well crawl under a rock or same difference, be dead.
What is it about this particular group of people that is making you think you have to drink alcohol around them?
I still socialize with people. Drinking is not part of that.
I think once you get there you'll be fine. I find that the anticipation of parties makes me a bit anxious - or maybe it's actually excited. They feel the same in the body, anxiety and excitement. My go-to "cure" for anxiety used to be alcohol. So now I have to un-couple that mental association.
My new "treatment" is to do nothing and just let the feeling be. I don't have to put something in my mouth to change my feelings.
Spoiler
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 156
I bought a pint of JD. $16 bucks for a pint. Shocking how much liquors gone up.
I have not drank it.
if my cousin doesn't come into town (he's in North MN and there's snow expected thus weekend) I might just drive there, drop off some gifts and tell them my anxiety/mental health isn't right and then leave.
I don't know. I asked this guy at work if I could buy a Xanax from him but he wouldn't do it.
neuron tin doesn't quite cut it for me.
I have bought the pint but I haven't drank it. Will have to see how tomorrow goes. This get-together is on Sunday.
I have not drank it.
if my cousin doesn't come into town (he's in North MN and there's snow expected thus weekend) I might just drive there, drop off some gifts and tell them my anxiety/mental health isn't right and then leave.
I don't know. I asked this guy at work if I could buy a Xanax from him but he wouldn't do it.
neuron tin doesn't quite cut it for me.
I have bought the pint but I haven't drank it. Will have to see how tomorrow goes. This get-together is on Sunday.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
sounds a little like you've primed the bomb and are throwing lit matches around man.
Drinking/drugging never fixed anything for you before - why do you think it might now?
Despite what you've been telling yourself this doesn't have to end in you drinking.
D
Drinking/drugging never fixed anything for you before - why do you think it might now?
Despite what you've been telling yourself this doesn't have to end in you drinking.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Anything that you could say to me that might keep me on the level through Sunday?
I have bought the pint but I haven't drank it. Will have to see how tomorrow goes.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by Amnesiac
What one or two things would you say to me that might snap my mind back to the reality of this thing?
2. I wish I had a second thing, but the best other thing I have is just Never Drink Now. Each moment is Now. You're not drinking right now, right? Keep doing that - over and over and over again. Time passes. You can get through the time one moment at a time.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
Think the drink through. How fast it takes to go off the rails. Drink on an empty stomach, get blown away and become absolutely insane instantly. Legally, financially, emotionally responsible for a crazy person that you have no control over. Drink on a full stomach, not working quickly enough, feel like crap early, end up consuming an insane amount of alcohol. Many times the physical pain of a hangover was the least of my problems.
There must be a reason you stopped drinking in the first place.
Alcohol use to be so wonderful for me in the old days. I had lots of mental issues and all I knew was a few drinks would take all of that away. Over time it stopped working the way that it use to. It was less and less ease and comfort and more and more problems. I hear this over and over and over again. We don't stay sober for years, drink, and go right back to the 14 year old that thinks they just found the secret to life. We drink, and usually quickly, go right back to the broken person that was on day 0.
Sometimes we hit a wall in recovery and feel something needs to change. When you have a mental obsession to drink that has been on the back burner this is a time for it to resurface. Our obsession says put me in coach. We feel we need change as quickly as possible and sometimes the is this for the better escapes us.
You probably need some kind of change but what? I'm just some guy on a recovery forum. I can't really tell you in particular what is best..... but from I've seen. Out of all the things to change, your status of non drinker to drinker is likely not the best change. This makes things worse.
I think the answer or answers are likely in methods of recovery and ways to handle social anxiety. There are other ways to handle these things then by drinking.
There must be a reason you stopped drinking in the first place.
Alcohol use to be so wonderful for me in the old days. I had lots of mental issues and all I knew was a few drinks would take all of that away. Over time it stopped working the way that it use to. It was less and less ease and comfort and more and more problems. I hear this over and over and over again. We don't stay sober for years, drink, and go right back to the 14 year old that thinks they just found the secret to life. We drink, and usually quickly, go right back to the broken person that was on day 0.
Sometimes we hit a wall in recovery and feel something needs to change. When you have a mental obsession to drink that has been on the back burner this is a time for it to resurface. Our obsession says put me in coach. We feel we need change as quickly as possible and sometimes the is this for the better escapes us.
You probably need some kind of change but what? I'm just some guy on a recovery forum. I can't really tell you in particular what is best..... but from I've seen. Out of all the things to change, your status of non drinker to drinker is likely not the best change. This makes things worse.
I think the answer or answers are likely in methods of recovery and ways to handle social anxiety. There are other ways to handle these things then by drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
No one ever died from social anxiety. It's just discomfort.
Alcohol has killed millions.
I hope you make the right choice here. Get rid of that pint.
Who is going to be at that party that has you so anxious? You say they're your friends - if they are your friends they would not want you to hurt yourself.
Alcohol has killed millions.
I hope you make the right choice here. Get rid of that pint.
Who is going to be at that party that has you so anxious? You say they're your friends - if they are your friends they would not want you to hurt yourself.
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