whopper

Hi, I have been a member of this site for a while. I have been battling alcoholism for a few years now. I try to stop but can't. Last week I stopped drinking, but I felt so depressed, I felt like killing myself . I don't want to do that, so my only recourse was to drink again.

I am drinking slowly, but I just took a sip of my drink and then I just threw up my dinner .

I need your help, I need to become clean of alcohol and I want to live a good life. I have every reason to drink, but drinking is not making my life better, I dunno how to live without it. I am a lonely person, I have no life, nor friends, which leads me to drink. Anyone would do the same as me if they were in my position.

Can you guys give me some guidance? I got a relative's number last week at my uncle's Christmas party. He was pretty cool and even got me a girl's number, not that I am interested in her, but as friends it would be cool. she lives far away but to be friends would be nice.

Can you all help me to stop drinking? I tried on my own, but then I felt so depressed, I wanted to end it all, so now I am drinking again.

Anna

Alcoholics believe the only way to get through life is to drink. If something is wrong, drinking is the answer. That's alcoholic thinking. When you stop drinking, you will find more clarity and see things differently.

If you are depressed, the last thing you should be doing is drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. When you initially stop drinking, you will likely feel many emotions including depression and anger. Those emotions will ease up as days go by and you can learn healthy ways to deal with emotions.

Yes, friends are nice to have, but for you to be a good friend, you will need to be sober. For now, why not focus on yourself and your recovery?

doggonecarl

If trying it on your own isn't working, get help. Get into detox and then a structured program of recovery.

awuh1

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant but this is not related to "depression" in the clinical sense in which the word is used in a mental health setting.

Sounds like you could use a mental health evaluation for your depression. It would seem you are self medicating. You need your depression evaluated and treated. Be honest about your drinking with the person you see for the evaluation.

whopper

I also do have something else to add. When I do drink I find it as being an afrodesiac. Meaning for me, it is like I took viagra or something like that, and of course the feeling which comes with it. It is very addicting, to feel frisky and to be excited. I can't help it but feel this way when I drink which leads me to continue drinking. To think about sex all the time is just crazy, but this is how it makes me feel..

ScottFromWI

All the more reason to quit. As several have already suggested, you should really consider contacting a detox/rehab facility in your area or at least seeing a doctor. Alcohol causes all kinds of mental and physical problems. Nearly all of them can be solved but not until you stop drinking. That needs to be your sole focus if you want to get better.

Flyfisher125

I see a lot of similarities in your story with mine. I live by myself, have limited friends, but I am blessed to have family locally. They were who I first told that I thought I had a problem and couldn't do it on my own. For so long I tried to hide it until I finally thought I was going to die from withdrawals myself. I cracked and went to family.

Withdrawals suck. They really do. It takes time to get through them. What your head is telling you when you stop drinking is not how you will be sober and through withdrawals. During withdrawals your brain is screaming for more alcohol and raging with unbalanced chemicals.

I went to the ER because no doc would see me on such short notice (my primary care had retired a couple months ago). The ER docs actually told me they were proud of me. I had shared my story of desperation. I'm not saying you need to go to the ER but getting medical attention opens your addiction up to more than just resting completely on your shoulders. It made it very real for me and was a relief. That realness helped me stay sober and keep me sober for the last 2 and a half years (with two minor slip ups). Once the immediate physical symptoms are over, you need to find a social net. And that can be AA meetings. I am blessed as i said to have family that is with me on this journey. You can't do it by yourself though. I know that much is true.

JeffreyAK

Sounds like a strong addict voice telling you lies. You have lots of options other than to drink, which is probably the cause of your depression in the first place. And most people don't drink themselves to death in response to being lonely, they get out and do things and eventually realize that drinking is the cause of them having no life or friends. It's only us addicts who delude ourselves with any excuse we can find to justify continuing to drink.

As other suggest, you might strongly consider an outpatient or even inpatient program to get you enough sober time to really see things as they are, not as your addict voice wants you to believe they are.

Dee74

Some great advice here Whopper

You just threw up your dinner - that alone should tell you that this way of life is getting more and more untenable.

Most of us, if we live long enough, have to face the certain misery of drinking versus the great unknown of recovery.

It's not that big a gamble tho
look around - thousands of happy people here who ovecme tough odds, and not just in addiction.

There's absolutely no reason why you cannot be one of these people too

D

Berrybean

There's two things to address when we deal with our alcoholism. First is the Alcoholic DRINKING. Then we need to deal with our Alcoholic THINKING. If we don't do both, through working a plan of recovery, then sobriety is unlikely to be comfortable or sustainable. Certainly, in the early period of sobriety we all experience some anxiety and don't feel ourselves, but we can get through that initial period of adjustment and learn to make our lives manageable and enjoyable.

Have you considered that sex might just be another way of acting out? Of looking for relief from internal pain but looking to external reward. Ineffective, but it's what we do best - we mistakenly think that those highs and the temporary comfort we get from alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, overeating, etc. are the answer, and a way of dealing with our problems, when all we're really doing is compounding them.

Once the drinking has stopped we're left with an important and ongoing task of learning to deal with life on life's terms.

Have you seen Dee's thread about making a plan? It's a good'n.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

PhoenixJ

Prayers to you. PJ.

tomsteve

"I have every reason to drink..."


theres about 11,435,659 excuses to drink, but absolutely no reason to drink.

Bird615

This is simply not true.

When I got to the point where I didn't know how to live with alcohol or without it, AA helped me.

RainbowBird

Hi Whooper, sending you prayers. Come join us on the sober bus, we have a seat for you. I know you can do this and SR has been a great help for me and I feel so much better [mentally & physically] sober vs when I was drinking.

Dee74

How's it going whopper?

D

Outonthetiles

Yup. That's been the dark side of my drinking experience that I haven't seen mentioned here. There's a correlation between drinking and sex, I'm certain of it.

Delilah1

Hi Whopper,

Sounds like rehab, or intensive outpatient ought be a good fit for you. It would allow you to build up a networ of support in addition to this site.

Life is still tough at times, but much easier to handle when sober.

Hope to see you back on here and posting soon.

Steely

Hi Whopper.