Cow

And that more than enough for us, my friend.

Hawkeye13

Well, I have been sober since my last relapse just over six months ago.

However I feel, good or bad, it's a whole lot better than I ever felt drinking
those last few years.

I also have cultivated new habits to replace the drinking habits I once had.
I get to a yoga class, take a hike, eat some stir fry, go to bed early . . . whatever it takes.

Yes, I still have anhedonia, and yes, there are many flat days I keep on keeping on
and wonder what it all means.

But there are also peaceful times I can enjoy my now fairly-clear mind
and observe the beauty around me in beings and places and things.

I don't know what "happiness" is--the definitions I've seen are different than
what I live. They seem exaggerated and unsustainable.

But not drinking has become a place of quiet in my mind which
is comforting. . .

I know what I did and said, I don't feel anxious and paranoid anymore,
I function reasonably well in life and take small pleasures in little things.

This is what I have sober, and it is enough for now.

courage2

^^^

Lenina

Cow, I don't know that sobriety is as much about staying strong or will power as it is about a paradigm shift. I had to accept in my very core that alcohol wasn't an answer to any thing. I had to recognize the pleasure/relief I once got was gone forever and only misery and death remained. I had to learn different coping skills.

I have to recommit daily. Alcoholism and addiction is so strange. We forget the misery of it so fast. That's why we have to recommit daily. I can't allow any excuses. Today, I am having some career issues. My situation is uncertain in so many areas of my life. I'm having some health issues that are annoying.

I know much of this will pass. I need a distraction that will help me remember there's good things in my life too.

I saw a book about changing one's habits of mind, Jack Kornfeld I think the author was, I'm going to check it out.

How's the hummingbirds?

Love from Lenina

sleepie

Walked around for an hour. It was 94 out. I stayed in the shade. Then it rained. Then it was very hot and I went back inside.

Dropsie

Sorry to have been a stranger but I have been on the road for work.

I have also been doing something great -- a class called Hip Sobriety.

You can get the idea from Holly's site of the same name, but she combines meditation, Kundalini yoga, morning and night rituals, dietary changes, and lots of great info about addiction into an immensely positive and life affirming approach to sobriety -- I could not recommend it highly enough.

I know I sound like I really drank to kool aid, but she has taken the time to combine everything she did to stop drinking into a program. She does it twice a year for eight weeks and i have loved it -- I think its great even for people without a drinking problem!!

Anyway, so I have been trying to do as much of the stuff she suggests that I can, and it has all been positive. I have already stopped drinking for a while when I started the class, but I feel even better about the choice now. And the even better part is that my friends all tell me I look ten years younger.

Anyway, how that for a bunch of positivity for you.

Lots of love to everyone in the pasture. I was trying to explain how much you all mean to me to a friend and I could tell she did not quite get it as we have never even met, but I think we all get it.

Gonnachange

Exercise for the day was a short run, a 2mile round trip walk to have breakfast with a friend, and a couple of dog walks totaling about 1.5 miles. I'll walk her for about 20 minutes after dinner. Meh. Tomorrow I'll be at the gym in the AM to show the weights who's boss. Hopefully it's me and not them. :-)

Dinner tonight is going to be a wrap with the turkey breast I made yesterday and sliced this afternoon, the bacon I made last week, the pesto I made over the weekend, sliced tomato, and alfalfa sprouts. I was originally thinking of going the baguette route, but forgot to buy one when I was out earlier to pick up some milk.

sleepie

After yesterday's punishing walk in the heat I only walked to get the mail out.

Dropsie

Sleeps,

And you should do nothing but what you feel like doing on your 6 month anniversary.

Give it up for Sleepie.

sleepie

Thank you Drops

I did a lot of "white knuckling".

Bubovski

Little things mean a lot as that old song goes.
Little, different, creative, fun in order to replace that old decrepit booze-up time. And it all adds up!

Calitano

This!!! Imagine if even 1 day a week finished like this.
Thanks Trach :-)

Cow

Okay, here what I do good today: went to healer lady, took shower, handle some emergency, look after dog for neighborfriend who out of town, not drink, not has caffeine, not let self get into too negative head space (...even though I want toooo...), might jump on trampoline for little bit but feel like is zero energy in my body. But maybe I just try anyway and see who I go. I suppose to work, but just feeling too out of sorts brain-wise.

Hawkeye13

Good work Cow. . .
I drove my husband to my in-laws, installed car mats in my new car,
petted my old dogs a lot, and have been filling up my newly-cleaned
above-ground splash pool to prep for heavy yard work recovery soaks.

Oh, and I also did work stuff on my computer, and watered the cherry tomatoes,
which are looking great

sleepie

Real proud of you Cow

You should get something postal in 3-5 days.

trachemys

Oh crap, cow's going postal!

sleepie

No, no I went postal for Cow today.

Or to the postal. How are you today Trach, are you back on... track?

trachemys

In total, I made it through.

As did everyone else.

trachemys

I've always wondered how people "think" my name. Trach as in track? Trach as in trake? Makes you wonder.

sleepie

I love Julie Brown's "'Cause I'm a Blonde"video, and she's like " 'Cause I'm a blonde, b-l-a-n-d !".