Cow's "No More Bullcrap" Summer Shape Up for Sick, Sadsack Weaklings
Okay buddy, we in it together now, yes?
I crying cuz I feel only pity for my papa, and I not would want to see him if he was here. Maybe you call you papa and tell him you love him. That be enough.
Please no beat you self up, Trach. You been doing great under lot of stresses. This not define you. Now look, you be nice to you self, cuz you forcing me to come up with this sunshine heart and flowers crap, and we all know it gonna make my head explode. Only for you.
Oh man does I feel bad. Just say no, kids. Just say no.
I crying cuz I feel only pity for my papa, and I not would want to see him if he was here. Maybe you call you papa and tell him you love him. That be enough.
Please no beat you self up, Trach. You been doing great under lot of stresses. This not define you. Now look, you be nice to you self, cuz you forcing me to come up with this sunshine heart and flowers crap, and we all know it gonna make my head explode. Only for you.
Oh man does I feel bad. Just say no, kids. Just say no.
I did talk to Dad. Apologized for missing father's day. Told him why.
I remember a comic book scene where a hero is brought to his knees, almost completely destroyed, and he looks up and stands up, like a phoenix.
I hope I have that strength. I want to be that strong. HEY suid i need some phoenix guidance over here!
I need strength.
I remember a comic book scene where a hero is brought to his knees, almost completely destroyed, and he looks up and stands up, like a phoenix.
I hope I have that strength. I want to be that strong. HEY suid i need some phoenix guidance over here!
I need strength.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I just woke up, didn't sleep til 6 a.m. this morning.
Wow you guys.... Um.., I've been residing with the mental hell that is ceaseless anxiety and many, many sad thoughts on having no family, and literally no one for so, so long. It's more than just the emotional aspect, back when I lost my job and so lost everything and had literally nowhere to go... I ended up moving into someone's storage space. Someone who was verbally abusive and generally awful, which really helped to fuel more alcoholism.
This and more on my mind. And I suffer it sober.
I dunno what to say. My heart is sad today and I'm really scared. Yes, I may have a bf but if we broke up today-then what/who do I have?
Nothin'. No one. Same as ever.
No one on sleepie's side. No one in my corner. Suffered the death of my only caring relative alone, not a soul to talk to about it. Lost my job, my home, and the last of my mental health and had nobody. Just friends. But who are they? They walked away after I attempted. I'd lost everything and couldn't take it anymore. I'd been trying so hard for so, so long to no results in life. Wasn't like I had a bad day and then decided to check out.
And my "friends" dropped me like a piece of trash.
If I get sick, lose my vision and become disabled, what then, with no family? nobody, no team sleepie?
These are all pretty valid reasons to drink, and I don't.
Anyway, lots on my mind.
I decided to stay home and let bf go and celebrate with his family without me. I don't need a reminder of all I never had and never will have. Good for him. His plate has always had plenty, in this regard. Not mine. This day means nothing to me.
I'm going to watch more OITNB.
Wow you guys.... Um.., I've been residing with the mental hell that is ceaseless anxiety and many, many sad thoughts on having no family, and literally no one for so, so long. It's more than just the emotional aspect, back when I lost my job and so lost everything and had literally nowhere to go... I ended up moving into someone's storage space. Someone who was verbally abusive and generally awful, which really helped to fuel more alcoholism.
This and more on my mind. And I suffer it sober.
I dunno what to say. My heart is sad today and I'm really scared. Yes, I may have a bf but if we broke up today-then what/who do I have?
Nothin'. No one. Same as ever.
No one on sleepie's side. No one in my corner. Suffered the death of my only caring relative alone, not a soul to talk to about it. Lost my job, my home, and the last of my mental health and had nobody. Just friends. But who are they? They walked away after I attempted. I'd lost everything and couldn't take it anymore. I'd been trying so hard for so, so long to no results in life. Wasn't like I had a bad day and then decided to check out.
And my "friends" dropped me like a piece of trash.
If I get sick, lose my vision and become disabled, what then, with no family? nobody, no team sleepie?
These are all pretty valid reasons to drink, and I don't.
Anyway, lots on my mind.
I decided to stay home and let bf go and celebrate with his family without me. I don't need a reminder of all I never had and never will have. Good for him. His plate has always had plenty, in this regard. Not mine. This day means nothing to me.
I'm going to watch more OITNB.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Also don't know what to say to you two. On the one hand you have to power through and just don't imbibe because stacking up days is a thing that just has to happen for any hope at all regarding alcoholism.
On the other I also understand wanting to drink. I understand anguish, fear and sadness and loss.
We all have different circumstances. Cow seems inconsolable. I have a desire to outlive my abusers, she does not seem to anymore. Dangerous place to be. All I can offer is try the one thing you haven't yet, long term sobriety. Something may open up. Something may change.
Trach I know you have had a lot of stress... but for us, we have no choice but to weather these situations without imbibing.
On the other I also understand wanting to drink. I understand anguish, fear and sadness and loss.
We all have different circumstances. Cow seems inconsolable. I have a desire to outlive my abusers, she does not seem to anymore. Dangerous place to be. All I can offer is try the one thing you haven't yet, long term sobriety. Something may open up. Something may change.
Trach I know you have had a lot of stress... but for us, we have no choice but to weather these situations without imbibing.
Our Son is visiting for Father's Day. Steaks, loaded baked potatoes and aragula salad for din-din. Nice vanilla cake with choc. icing for dessert.
They are having a beer and watching golf on tv. They have picked out nice bottle of red to go with the steak tonight......I'm fighting the temptation to join them...would really like a nice cool glass of white wine. What is going on with me, I know I should not even be thinking about drinking anything. I am in the bedroom pretending to take a nap; couldn't deal with watching them drink...trying to stay strong, but don't feel strong at all. :-((
They are having a beer and watching golf on tv. They have picked out nice bottle of red to go with the steak tonight......I'm fighting the temptation to join them...would really like a nice cool glass of white wine. What is going on with me, I know I should not even be thinking about drinking anything. I am in the bedroom pretending to take a nap; couldn't deal with watching them drink...trying to stay strong, but don't feel strong at all. :-((
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)