Freshly Sober And Getting On With Life! :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
I'll be honest, I wanted to stop drinking, but I didn't want to stop drinking
if you take my meaning. . .
This is a similar thing--I don't like the results of procrastination
but that doesn't mean I'll ever love taking care of bills etc.
However, that second link, about being mindful, really has helped me
avoid avoidance as it were
Heavy snow here Sis--makes me think of my time in your fair city.
Almost a white out so taking extra food out to the birds.
if you take my meaning. . .
This is a similar thing--I don't like the results of procrastination
but that doesn't mean I'll ever love taking care of bills etc.
However, that second link, about being mindful, really has helped me
avoid avoidance as it were
Heavy snow here Sis--makes me think of my time in your fair city.
Almost a white out so taking extra food out to the birds.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Hawkeye's right. Big snow these last few days. Brrrr.... -8 this morning as I headed out for my first appointment.
And as for procrastination:
I'm sitting down and pushing through a big piece of work I needed to do. It's a great business opportunity!
And as for procrastination:
I'm sitting down and pushing through a big piece of work I needed to do. It's a great business opportunity!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
So on the procrastination front, for what its worth, heres what I think after having studied this problem and addiction for many years.
IMO true procrastination and true addiction from the same place in our pysche. The place of avoidance/passivity.
Its a reaction to that mean voice in our head telling us we are helpless, or too lazy, or too stupid. Instead of telling it to go to h$ll we try to negotiate, appease, regain control.
This debate between our inner bully and our inner masochist/passive reaches a stale mate and we do nothing because whatever the pain it is that we are avoiding is worse than the pain we are causing ourself through procrastination. Or maybe because we are comfortable in our pain on an unconscious level.
I have been having a really painful spell of procrastination and what I have found helpful is to try and do whatever I need to do with kindness for myself instead of hatred. If I can shut the inner critic up I can get the thing done.
But what happens to me and to most people is the minute they start to do something they hate, or is late, the inner critic has a field day and it becomes such a painful experience that they stop. But if before hand you can say I am going to spend an hour doing this even though I don't like to in the kindest way possible and afterwards I am going to have a nice treat it helps shut the critic down.
For me, its much like shutting the AV up when he comes to call. Personally I have a bully voice, a boozer voice, and a pleaser voice, all of which Drops the grownup has to nicely tell that she is the new CEO and has decided with the new chairman of the board that their services are no longer needed. We are not consulting with them anymore, fired, no notice, get out. They had their chance running things for 5 decades and now we are going to give it a shot.
Sounds nutty I know, but try it.
CEO: I have to pay my bills. I will pay them now.
Bully: But you should have paid them weeks ago you irresponsible person -- who can you ever expect to run your practice if you cant even pay your bills on time.
Pleaser: But I tried to pay them but I didn't have enough cash so it made me nervous, you can see why I didn't pay them.
Bully: of course you don't have enough money cause you screwed up your life.
Etc. Etc.
OR
CEO: I have to pay my bills. I will pay them now. I will take one hour to pay them and then I am going to call my BFF and have a good chat and a coffee.
Bully: But you should have paid them weeks ago you irresponsible person -- how can you ever expect to run your practice if you cant even pay your bills on time.
CEO: Thats silly, no-one pays their bills on time. Now what do i want in my coffee later when all this is done.
Practice putting yourself in charge and being kind to yourself. it works. sometimes.
And I also think playing the tape forward works sometimes.
So, I tell myself that I am going to do whatever make the future Dropsie happy. What is that??
usually its not sitting on my ass stewing, but if it is, then I do it. If not, i do what will, which is usually doing whatever it is I am avoiding. Again, it works sometimes.
The most important thing about procrastination is that like addiction its not a question of being lazy, or undisciplined. Its a deep seated psychological reaction to trauma. I also think that with alcohol at some point our brain changes and it becomes a disease because it changes the way our brain processes alcohol and other things, but it started out as a reaction to something that we could not handle. Ditto re deep seated procrastination -- IMO, for what its worth.
IMO true procrastination and true addiction from the same place in our pysche. The place of avoidance/passivity.
Its a reaction to that mean voice in our head telling us we are helpless, or too lazy, or too stupid. Instead of telling it to go to h$ll we try to negotiate, appease, regain control.
This debate between our inner bully and our inner masochist/passive reaches a stale mate and we do nothing because whatever the pain it is that we are avoiding is worse than the pain we are causing ourself through procrastination. Or maybe because we are comfortable in our pain on an unconscious level.
I have been having a really painful spell of procrastination and what I have found helpful is to try and do whatever I need to do with kindness for myself instead of hatred. If I can shut the inner critic up I can get the thing done.
But what happens to me and to most people is the minute they start to do something they hate, or is late, the inner critic has a field day and it becomes such a painful experience that they stop. But if before hand you can say I am going to spend an hour doing this even though I don't like to in the kindest way possible and afterwards I am going to have a nice treat it helps shut the critic down.
For me, its much like shutting the AV up when he comes to call. Personally I have a bully voice, a boozer voice, and a pleaser voice, all of which Drops the grownup has to nicely tell that she is the new CEO and has decided with the new chairman of the board that their services are no longer needed. We are not consulting with them anymore, fired, no notice, get out. They had their chance running things for 5 decades and now we are going to give it a shot.
Sounds nutty I know, but try it.
CEO: I have to pay my bills. I will pay them now.
Bully: But you should have paid them weeks ago you irresponsible person -- who can you ever expect to run your practice if you cant even pay your bills on time.
Pleaser: But I tried to pay them but I didn't have enough cash so it made me nervous, you can see why I didn't pay them.
Bully: of course you don't have enough money cause you screwed up your life.
Etc. Etc.
OR
CEO: I have to pay my bills. I will pay them now. I will take one hour to pay them and then I am going to call my BFF and have a good chat and a coffee.
Bully: But you should have paid them weeks ago you irresponsible person -- how can you ever expect to run your practice if you cant even pay your bills on time.
CEO: Thats silly, no-one pays their bills on time. Now what do i want in my coffee later when all this is done.
Practice putting yourself in charge and being kind to yourself. it works. sometimes.
And I also think playing the tape forward works sometimes.
So, I tell myself that I am going to do whatever make the future Dropsie happy. What is that??
usually its not sitting on my ass stewing, but if it is, then I do it. If not, i do what will, which is usually doing whatever it is I am avoiding. Again, it works sometimes.
The most important thing about procrastination is that like addiction its not a question of being lazy, or undisciplined. Its a deep seated psychological reaction to trauma. I also think that with alcohol at some point our brain changes and it becomes a disease because it changes the way our brain processes alcohol and other things, but it started out as a reaction to something that we could not handle. Ditto re deep seated procrastination -- IMO, for what its worth.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Sis and my other sisters in procrastination,
I just stopped by for a quick read and post, and find this wealth of discussion about procrastination for which I simply don't have the time right this moment! I'll be back later to glean your knowledge.
In the meantime, I did want to report that though this weekend felt remarkably unproductive (what's new), I did accomplish some stuff:
1. The bed is made with fresh linen and looks really comfy (and is).
2. I cleaned off the vanity in my room and the space underneath and now don't need to squint in that direction. A bonus as I'm working from home today.
3. Bills are paid. Tubotax is on its way from Amazon.
4. The dishes are all washed and the household laundry is clean and put away.
I took a shower, changed my clothes and brushed my teeth all before 8am!
You all will, I trust, understand this is the crowning glory.
More later...
I just stopped by for a quick read and post, and find this wealth of discussion about procrastination for which I simply don't have the time right this moment! I'll be back later to glean your knowledge.
In the meantime, I did want to report that though this weekend felt remarkably unproductive (what's new), I did accomplish some stuff:
1. The bed is made with fresh linen and looks really comfy (and is).
2. I cleaned off the vanity in my room and the space underneath and now don't need to squint in that direction. A bonus as I'm working from home today.
3. Bills are paid. Tubotax is on its way from Amazon.
4. The dishes are all washed and the household laundry is clean and put away.
I took a shower, changed my clothes and brushed my teeth all before 8am!
You all will, I trust, understand this is the crowning glory.
More later...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
I got serious about doing the things in sobriety I babbled about doing while drinking. Granted nothing panned out much. However, that`s beside the point. The point is that I put forth a legitimate effort.
No mid-life crisis for this 58 year old.
No mid-life crisis for this 58 year old.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse 
And as for procrastination:
I'm sitting down and pushing through a big piece of work I needed to do. It's a great business opportunity!
I'm sitting down and pushing through a big piece of work I needed to do. It's a great business opportunity!
Obladi, you domestic goddess, you've inspired me. I'll make tomorrow a mostly-domestic day! With the pace of business lately, it'll feel great to spruce up a little around here.
And also, I'll report back here tomorrow with at least one good social activity planned for the week!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 46
I am back at day one and thinking I want to train for a half marathon! The race is the end of April so a good 2 months away. I did six 5k official races last year but the half marathon will take more preparation. My goal is 2.5 hrs.
I don't want to focus on the number of days I'm sober. I want to think about my distance and speed and progress to that race. The exercise will obviously help with mood and weight at the same time!
I don't want to focus on the number of days I'm sober. I want to think about my distance and speed and progress to that race. The exercise will obviously help with mood and weight at the same time!
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by Aurora7431
I am back at day one and thinking I want to train for a half marathon! The race is the end of April so a good 2 months away. I did six 5k official races last year but the half marathon will take more preparation. My goal is 2.5 hrs.
I don't want to focus on the number of days I'm sober. I want to think about my distance and speed and progress to that race. The exercise will obviously help with mood and weight at the same time!
I don't want to focus on the number of days I'm sober. I want to think about my distance and speed and progress to that race. The exercise will obviously help with mood and weight at the same time!
I specifically started this thread because I was getting a little bored with navel-gazing on the subject of addiction and recovery. It was time to change the subject and move on. So, I can't wait to hear about your progress! Please keep me posted!
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Updates!
Originally Posted by Dropsie
What is up SIS?
Here's me in a nutshell:
Career: I'm up to my eyeballs in pending sales! This is good! Helps replenish the coffers! I need to keep my prospecting activities going, however, to avoid any lag once these current transactions close.
Fitness/weight: Still having a little trouble getting this going. My diet should be starting by the end of the week once the magic stuff arrives in the mail. Stay tuned....
Social: I'm doing well making new friends!! Even in the dead of the Syracuse winter! Hey, I'll be honest... wouldn't mind adding a handsome beau to the mix, but that'll be the cherry on top when the time comes.
Finance: Officially current on all bills. Still awaiting the IRA funds to settle out medical debts. That should be forthcoming!
You know what I want to work on which would really change my life? I start slowly in the morning. I've tried to commit to getting an earlier start but haven't yet made it stick. I need to find either a real-life or online accountability partner for this. What a difference it would make!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
SIS,
I am in with being your wake up buddy.
I have been wanting to join the 5 o'clock club for years, but lets be real.
To get any plus, I need to be up at 630. So that its for me.
What about you? No need to be the same time, but its the commitment that counts.
Lets do this thing.
I am in with being your wake up buddy.
I have been wanting to join the 5 o'clock club for years, but lets be real.
To get any plus, I need to be up at 630. So that its for me.
What about you? No need to be the same time, but its the commitment that counts.
Lets do this thing.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by Dropsie
SIS,
I am in with being your wake up buddy.
I have been wanting to join the 5 o'clock club for years, but lets be real.
To get any plus, I need to be up at 630. So that its for me.
What about you? No need to be the same time, but its the commitment that counts.
Lets do this thing.
I am in with being your wake up buddy.
I have been wanting to join the 5 o'clock club for years, but lets be real.
To get any plus, I need to be up at 630. So that its for me.
What about you? No need to be the same time, but its the commitment that counts.
Lets do this thing.
I'll start a thread just for this, 'cuz it's a good project in its own right. I'll call it "Morning Productivity Accountability Partners."
Safe to say Ms. "O" (Organized, Obladi, OnHerGame, etc.) won't need the support - snark,snark. I'm appointing her my Patron Saint of Organization! :-)
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Momentum builds upon momentum!
This was a very good week, overall!! After some introspection in the last few days, I recognized the importance of handling the "domestics." While washing the clothes doesn't make much of a dent in one's future, it's an important sign of self-respect and motivation!
Today I'm pondering whether or not to continue participating in this forum. I chime in on few threads per day, but very few people chime in on mine (except a couple buddies I've made here). I think it's because what I have to say at this point is mainly positive and forward-looking. When I see the volume of discussion that can be generated over a topic like mouthwash, I do sense I may not be in the right place.
Well, just thoughts for now. Tomorrow is Day 40. It might be a nice round number to celebrate and say Farewell!
This was a very good week, overall!! After some introspection in the last few days, I recognized the importance of handling the "domestics." While washing the clothes doesn't make much of a dent in one's future, it's an important sign of self-respect and motivation!
Today I'm pondering whether or not to continue participating in this forum. I chime in on few threads per day, but very few people chime in on mine (except a couple buddies I've made here). I think it's because what I have to say at this point is mainly positive and forward-looking. When I see the volume of discussion that can be generated over a topic like mouthwash, I do sense I may not be in the right place.
Well, just thoughts for now. Tomorrow is Day 40. It might be a nice round number to celebrate and say Farewell!
You never know what good you may be doing. 
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse
Safe to say Ms. "O" (Organized, Obladi, OnHerGame, etc.) won't need the support - snark,snark. I'm appointing her my Patron Saint of Organization! :-)
I fear my tales of accomplishment have somehow given the impression of complete competence and I must blush in shame.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse
Today I'm pondering whether or not to continue participating in this forum. I chime in on few threads per day, but very few people chime in on mine (except a couple buddies I've made here). I think it's because what I have to say at this point is mainly positive and forward-looking. When I see the volume of discussion that can be generated over a topic like mouthwash, I do sense I may not be in the right place.
If you want more replies, head over to Newcomers. There's more action there.
I thought your thread was for your own motivation and you were game for people joining in. Which is happening.
If your threads are fun/motivational/helpful to you, stick around regardless. It's important that we do stuff that's helpful to us, regardless of how we perceive that other people perceive it. Right, Ms Positive?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse
I'm in! Let's do it! The days are so much better with an early start. And we feel so much better in the evening once we've had a good day!
I'll start a thread just for this, 'cuz it's a good project in its own right. I'll call it "Morning Productivity Accountability Partners."
Safe to say Ms. "O" (Organized, Obladi, OnHerGame, etc.) won't need the support - snark,snark. I'm appointing her my Patron Saint of Organization! :-)
I'll start a thread just for this, 'cuz it's a good project in its own right. I'll call it "Morning Productivity Accountability Partners."
Safe to say Ms. "O" (Organized, Obladi, OnHerGame, etc.) won't need the support - snark,snark. I'm appointing her my Patron Saint of Organization! :-)
I plan on joining your morning motivation thread when I go back to work Monday.
I was home sick today and didn't get up early or do much
and I'm still feeling kinda under the weather.
I think forward thinking is good and I'm a problem-solver, do
what you can to make it better sort myself,
I hope you don't choose to stop posting--I look forward to reading
what you're up to and how things are going. You're high energy
and proactive, which is really inspiring
Besides, it's still early recovery and keeping SR active can really
help with getting through the first 6 months or year when you
get the slump times.
They do happen when the "newness" of sobriety wears off and
you get a couple of crap sandwiches in row
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I can add my stuff, SIS, it's all grist for the mill, right? I am sober now for four and a half years, but still fighting the fight for self improvement. I got tired of being tired and miserable last summer, so I demanded a sleep study to find out if I had obstructive sleep apnea. Bingo! That was the deal closer, getting that sorted. With proper sleep, I got more energy, was able to look at my diet and get some physiotherapy for a back problem. My weight and general lack of enthusiasm made it a challenge to get moving again and to see to those things that were going to take some focus and discipline to fix.
I can easily walk now for an hour and a half now, clocking in 6 miles, without my back complaining the whole way. I have lost 22 lbs in 5 months, about a pound a week. I can't say I am on a diet, but I have changed my diet. I eat at least four times a day, with protein fat and fiber at each meal and nothing after 7 pm. I don't have the urge to binge any more, I have more energy and I sleep wayyy better! I have even started back at the weight room at the gym, replacing some of my flab with muscle. I don't hate my body or my appearance anymore, I just like to feel movement again.
I am putting more energy now into one of my first loves, music. I accepted the request to direct a small group of old men in a barbershop chorus and we meet weekly. Church choir and voice lessons round it out so I sing three times a week now, it's great for the mind and body, I find.
My 59th birthday is a month away, and I am not dreading this next phase of my life, retirement coming along in a few years. I am hoping it will be the best!
Thanks for your thread, SoberInSyracuse. Best to you and to the other posters too.
I can easily walk now for an hour and a half now, clocking in 6 miles, without my back complaining the whole way. I have lost 22 lbs in 5 months, about a pound a week. I can't say I am on a diet, but I have changed my diet. I eat at least four times a day, with protein fat and fiber at each meal and nothing after 7 pm. I don't have the urge to binge any more, I have more energy and I sleep wayyy better! I have even started back at the weight room at the gym, replacing some of my flab with muscle. I don't hate my body or my appearance anymore, I just like to feel movement again.
I am putting more energy now into one of my first loves, music. I accepted the request to direct a small group of old men in a barbershop chorus and we meet weekly. Church choir and voice lessons round it out so I sing three times a week now, it's great for the mind and body, I find.
My 59th birthday is a month away, and I am not dreading this next phase of my life, retirement coming along in a few years. I am hoping it will be the best!
Thanks for your thread, SoberInSyracuse. Best to you and to the other posters too.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
Fyi
SIS, I am following your thread.
Albeit a silent creeper; yours is 1 of the 2 I read daily.
Please don't leave; my future sobriety may very well depend on your example. (JK, tho you are an inspiration)
Just saying, you never know who is lurking in the shadows and are being encouraged by your daily musings.
Albeit a silent creeper; yours is 1 of the 2 I read daily.
Please don't leave; my future sobriety may very well depend on your example. (JK, tho you are an inspiration)
Just saying, you never know who is lurking in the shadows and are being encouraged by your daily musings.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
SIS,
I be fan, you know that.
You good for us, seems good for you, why you be thinking about going.
I am going to join you early morning thing, but this is a really big problem for me so need to decide what i can really commit to. But i is going to crack this nut my friend and that is thanks to you -- and I do mean when i say big deal psychological problem.
For what it is worth, I think there are two ways to use this for if you are past the initial stages.
First, to help those who are just starting out on this road. We all do that, we aint Dee or nothing but we try.
Second, and this is important for me, to hang with folks like you to have folks to relate to that have the same challenges but are moving on with life. It helps me immensely to have that, cause my real time friends don't do that for me. Plus it balances out the energy needed to help the others to get energy from threads like your and Obladi and Cow.
I think there are a lot of folks like me who check in with you every day. One day you didn't post and I was like, was up with that. I be missing you.
So I hope you will keep hanging out here with us. We thinks you be great even if you almost has JLo body at almost 50. Now don't make me beg...
I be fan, you know that.
You good for us, seems good for you, why you be thinking about going.
I am going to join you early morning thing, but this is a really big problem for me so need to decide what i can really commit to. But i is going to crack this nut my friend and that is thanks to you -- and I do mean when i say big deal psychological problem.
For what it is worth, I think there are two ways to use this for if you are past the initial stages.
First, to help those who are just starting out on this road. We all do that, we aint Dee or nothing but we try.
Second, and this is important for me, to hang with folks like you to have folks to relate to that have the same challenges but are moving on with life. It helps me immensely to have that, cause my real time friends don't do that for me. Plus it balances out the energy needed to help the others to get energy from threads like your and Obladi and Cow.
I think there are a lot of folks like me who check in with you every day. One day you didn't post and I was like, was up with that. I be missing you.
So I hope you will keep hanging out here with us. We thinks you be great even if you almost has JLo body at almost 50. Now don't make me beg...
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