My trip to the emergency room last night=my rock bottom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
I saw my regular family doctor today. He did a physical exam of my body and believes that my body should take care of the fluids that collected on its own. He said next time I may not be as lucky and the fluids will have to be taken off via medical instruments. He has referred me to a addictions specialist to discuss treatment options. The same man who once told me that using alcohol to alleviate my social anxiety was ok (in his defence he didn't know how much I was consuming at the time) has now told me that drinking will never ever be an option in my life again at this stage. He knows I'm not a stupid young man and we didn't talk about further consequences today. He's given me an prescription for Antabuse but told me that it's up to me if I need to get it filled.
I've been sober for x5 days now. For the first time last night I was able to sleep on the right hand side of my body so I'm hoping the swelling on my liver is decreasing. I'm still at the stage right now where I'm terrified of what alcohol has done to me so I'm doing ok & the PAWS wasn't that bad at all this time. I always thought that these type of consequences would show up about x10 years from now when I was in my 40's and that would give me lots of time to get sober. Guess I was dead wrong.
Thanks so much for all the thoughts, prayers, and support. I still haven't been able to open up to friends & family because I'm afraid the guilt that will accompany their response to the situation/facts will lead me back to drinking.
I've been sober for x5 days now. For the first time last night I was able to sleep on the right hand side of my body so I'm hoping the swelling on my liver is decreasing. I'm still at the stage right now where I'm terrified of what alcohol has done to me so I'm doing ok & the PAWS wasn't that bad at all this time. I always thought that these type of consequences would show up about x10 years from now when I was in my 40's and that would give me lots of time to get sober. Guess I was dead wrong.
Thanks so much for all the thoughts, prayers, and support. I still haven't been able to open up to friends & family because I'm afraid the guilt that will accompany their response to the situation/facts will lead me back to drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
Originally Posted by ZZworldontheweb 
Wow, sounds like Merc is doing well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
"Yeah, it's pretty humiliating to share this stuff and there are many times when I thought it wasn't a good idea to post it on a forum like this. "
It takes ALOT of courage and you are helping so many people - I think it is a common thought that when you are young you think you have years to get sober. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
It takes ALOT of courage and you are helping so many people - I think it is a common thought that when you are young you think you have years to get sober. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by mercurial me
He has referred me to a addictions specialist to discuss treatment options. The same man who once told me that using alcohol to alleviate my social anxiety was ok (in his defence he didn't know how much I was consuming at the time) has now told me that drinking will never ever be an option in my life again at this stage.
Get the treatment options from this "addiction specialist" and do yourself a favor ... accept the most aggressive program he recommends, the one that will wholly immerse you in a program of accepting and embracing sobriety.
Secondly, yes mate, expecting to not have issues until later in life is standard operating procedure for the young alcoholic mind, and it's as self delusional as saying "I can control my drinking". I'm one guy who developed a debilitating and often deadly disease from drinking so much over the course of my life. Osteoporosis. Yes, that is correct. A disease that's supposed to effect a small number of 60+ year old women happened to me, a certified jock @ the age of 36. This was entirely due to my drinking while taking steroids. As result of that disease I've already needed a total shoulder replacement, 2 surgeries that cost me 60 000.00 + dollars and extensive physiotherapy. And plenty of broken bones since, I might add.
Dying from this thing of ours is certainly not exclusive to older boozers, something your documentary "Rain In My Heart" should show you explicitly.
Good to hear you're moving in the right direction. I still don't think you should be worried about your family giving you stress, but that's on you. You've bigger fish to fry I'm afraid. What I will say is that if you believe something in this world could possibly stress you out enough to drink, it is obviously a message that you really need to speed up the process of finding treatment and putting in the work. Your health is telling you that you can't afford to be at any risk of a relapse if at all possible. Keep listening to the messages your body is sending you, and hurry up with the whole recovery and treatment thing bro.
I'm pulling for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
My family doctor had asked me once - during a routine visit - if I drank or not. Like any good alcoholic -in denial- I said no. He said... that’s weird...I asked what do you mean? He said...Alcohol usually produces a distinct odor and your breath does too. Ouch...that hurt. He then said..."there are resources at my disposal that can help you make informed decisions, if you think you have a problem that is. Of course I said no...But the seed...was planted. Even though It took me a long time to admit my powerlessness, that seed continued to grow, and has now bloomed into a sober responsible alcoholic, Not the one still in denial over his disease. I thank that doctor as well as all the professionals who serve in the sober community -AA or outpatient services- for all their efforts in allowing me the privilege of enjoying sobriety one day at a time. My hope for all of you is to enjoy these sober moments -Good, bad or indifferent - as I do every day.
God Bless~
God Bless~
Eating protein and life.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Just. Plain. Grateful.
Posts: 503
I pray that a year from now you are a lighthouse that other drunks, whose boats have finally broken, swim towards.
Thanks for the update man, stay strong - you've been spared for a reason.
Thanks for the update man, stay strong - you've been spared for a reason.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Merc, I just wanted to thank you for your courage to post here in such intimate detail. Stories like yours and Schem 9 have proven to be a very effective tool to deter the rest of us from continuing to drink. There is not a day lately that I go without thinking about you and the thought of drinking is so ominous with you in mind.
I only hope you will continue walking the sober path so that we can chat here a year from and laugh at how great we are doing. Keep up the hard work and congrats on your string of sober days. Keep it going Buddy.
I only hope you will continue walking the sober path so that we can chat here a year from and laugh at how great we are doing. Keep up the hard work and congrats on your string of sober days. Keep it going Buddy.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
Just read your update Merc, I'm really glad you have 5 days. Like many others, I admire your courage, and just by telling your story, I'm sure you are already helping others. But most important, you are getting some medical support and are trying to get well.
You can do this. One day, one hour, or even one minute as a time.
You can do this. One day, one hour, or even one minute as a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
Hi! Thanks for thinking about me.
I'm hanging in there. I've got x11 days sober today. This Thursday it will be x2 weeks. Most of the fluid that was collecting in my body seems to be going away. Nights are the worst. For some reason when I'm in bed after a couple of hours my abdomen turns rock hard and I wake up in hellish pain. Hopefully it gets better. I don't have it in me to start running around trying to discover exactly what's going on inside of me. Just taking it one day at a time and staying sober. Bloodtests & liver biopsy are around the corner anyway.
G/f says my overall disposition is improving not drinking. No cravings just trying to change up my daily routine that often revolved around booze. Just praying I haven't physically damaged myself beyond repair. It's hard to think about questions like starting a family when you don't know what your own life expectancy will be. One day at a time.
Wishing everyone a sober week
I'm hanging in there. I've got x11 days sober today. This Thursday it will be x2 weeks. Most of the fluid that was collecting in my body seems to be going away. Nights are the worst. For some reason when I'm in bed after a couple of hours my abdomen turns rock hard and I wake up in hellish pain. Hopefully it gets better. I don't have it in me to start running around trying to discover exactly what's going on inside of me. Just taking it one day at a time and staying sober. Bloodtests & liver biopsy are around the corner anyway.
G/f says my overall disposition is improving not drinking. No cravings just trying to change up my daily routine that often revolved around booze. Just praying I haven't physically damaged myself beyond repair. It's hard to think about questions like starting a family when you don't know what your own life expectancy will be. One day at a time.
Wishing everyone a sober week
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
