My trip to the emergency room last night=my rock bottom
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Hey Merc. I'm sorry to hear of the physical problems you've been experiencing. I'll be 30 this year and was a hard-core drinker for over a decade, and it pains me to see someone around the same age going through such troubles. But good on you to getting close to 2 weeks without the booze.
On 1/23, you mentioned that you had been to church. How was the service? Did you feel it spoke to you specifically at all?
When I decided to stop drinking, it led me to AA. AA involved a Higher Power, which I came to know as God. Since then, I try every single day to strengthen my relationship with Him, to walk closer with Him, and to live my life according to His will and desires (as presented to me by the Bible).
I really can't explain to you the difference it has made in my life. My obsession with alcohol has been totally lifted. There have been times when I've struggled with wanting a drink, but my faith and relationship with God have pulled me through those times. I know I can't quit drinking by my own free will. And either God is all-powerful, or He's not. And if He is (as I believe), if there's literally nothing He can't do, then certainly He can help me with my addiction to alcohol. And He has, and He does, and He will continue to do so.
I've found some excellent sermons online that have helped tremendously in strengthening my relationship with God and battling my addiction to alcohol. I'd be happy to share that info with you if ever you are interested.
Hang in there, take care of yourself, and please be kind to yourself and your body. Don't allow your life to be cut short by alcohol, when that doesn't have to be the case; your life can be more fulfilling and joyous than you know.
On 1/23, you mentioned that you had been to church. How was the service? Did you feel it spoke to you specifically at all?
When I decided to stop drinking, it led me to AA. AA involved a Higher Power, which I came to know as God. Since then, I try every single day to strengthen my relationship with Him, to walk closer with Him, and to live my life according to His will and desires (as presented to me by the Bible).
I really can't explain to you the difference it has made in my life. My obsession with alcohol has been totally lifted. There have been times when I've struggled with wanting a drink, but my faith and relationship with God have pulled me through those times. I know I can't quit drinking by my own free will. And either God is all-powerful, or He's not. And if He is (as I believe), if there's literally nothing He can't do, then certainly He can help me with my addiction to alcohol. And He has, and He does, and He will continue to do so.
I've found some excellent sermons online that have helped tremendously in strengthening my relationship with God and battling my addiction to alcohol. I'd be happy to share that info with you if ever you are interested.
Hang in there, take care of yourself, and please be kind to yourself and your body. Don't allow your life to be cut short by alcohol, when that doesn't have to be the case; your life can be more fulfilling and joyous than you know.
Abnormally normal
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
I just read through your whole thread...
You're my age Merc. I'm 32.
I was seriously shocked to read how old you are. I was certain you were gonna be in your late 40's or 50's because of your health problems.
I'm in tears right now. For both you and I.
I can't imagine how scared you must be feeling. I'm gonna go to church after dropping off my son at school and light a candle for you and say a prayer.
I truly hope you come out of this and find yourself 10 yrs from now living the life you should be living and sharing your horrible ordeal w/ other alcoholics and what courage it took to finally stop.
Because the courage is in you...it's in all of us.
You can do this...look within yourself and pull out the fight you know you have.
I remember when i was drinking and would constantly hear "One day at a time".
It started to annoy me..
Like, really? Don't you have anything else to say?
But it honestly is "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
There's no other way of putting it, doing it or way around it.
Today is now and its the only day you have control over...so own it, keep your head up and KNOW that your mind, body, heart and soul (YOU) are worth more than the life your living.
I didn't mean to sound selfish up top about me crying for myself.
Its just that you're the first person I know on any level (just through this thread)
that is my age and dealing w/ what you are dealing w/.
To me, this happens to the alcoholic who had been drinking for 20+ yrs and is in their 50's.
It's a scared straight eye opener.
A hard reality check that I could've easily been in your shoes if I continued down my self-destructive path.
Realization set in...
Also, tears shed for everybody dealing w/ alcoholism.
This addiction is beyond words scary. It brings out the worst in people and takes you to your lowest. It destroys!
Destroys everything you value...and nothing is sacred.
Not even life...if taken to that point.
Merc, you should consider at least telling your GF. I think the support would help. You shouldn't go through dealing w/ this day and night alone.
If it were my BF, I would want to know and be there for him.
Merc...you are in my thoughts and prayers
and will continue to be..
If I could, I would give you a big hug...
Much Love and prayers sent your way...
Fabi
You're my age Merc. I'm 32.
I was seriously shocked to read how old you are. I was certain you were gonna be in your late 40's or 50's because of your health problems.
I'm in tears right now. For both you and I.
I can't imagine how scared you must be feeling. I'm gonna go to church after dropping off my son at school and light a candle for you and say a prayer.
I truly hope you come out of this and find yourself 10 yrs from now living the life you should be living and sharing your horrible ordeal w/ other alcoholics and what courage it took to finally stop.
Because the courage is in you...it's in all of us.
You can do this...look within yourself and pull out the fight you know you have.
I remember when i was drinking and would constantly hear "One day at a time".
It started to annoy me..
Like, really? Don't you have anything else to say?
But it honestly is "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
There's no other way of putting it, doing it or way around it.
Today is now and its the only day you have control over...so own it, keep your head up and KNOW that your mind, body, heart and soul (YOU) are worth more than the life your living.
I didn't mean to sound selfish up top about me crying for myself.
Its just that you're the first person I know on any level (just through this thread)
that is my age and dealing w/ what you are dealing w/.
To me, this happens to the alcoholic who had been drinking for 20+ yrs and is in their 50's.
It's a scared straight eye opener.
A hard reality check that I could've easily been in your shoes if I continued down my self-destructive path.
Realization set in...
Also, tears shed for everybody dealing w/ alcoholism.
This addiction is beyond words scary. It brings out the worst in people and takes you to your lowest. It destroys!
Destroys everything you value...and nothing is sacred.
Not even life...if taken to that point.
Merc, you should consider at least telling your GF. I think the support would help. You shouldn't go through dealing w/ this day and night alone.
If it were my BF, I would want to know and be there for him.
Merc...you are in my thoughts and prayers
and will continue to be..
If I could, I would give you a big hug...
Much Love and prayers sent your way...
Fabi
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Just giving Merc a bump—hoping to hear from you, buddy. Also hoping you've now shared all this with your GF and family, and have plenty of support around you. But either way, we're here for you and thinking about you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
Hi! Thanks for everyone's thoughts and interest & great posts. I'm doing ok. Sleeping a bit more comfortably in the last couple of days too. It's taken my body a long time this round to bounce back after my bout of acities. After a decade of damage it only makes sense these problems aren't just going to vanish overnight.
I revealed to my sister what exactly is going on and she was very supportive. Her husband is an alcoholic and she and I have always been pretty close. She was quite shocked to hear the path that my alcoholism has taken but it's nice to know there is someone out there I can confide in other than all of the great people here on SR.
More blood tests next week and my next liver biopsy is in March. I'm pretty sure my doctor is in a "wait and see" mode to assess things over the next couple months and then decide what has to be done. I'm staying sober though. Life kind of feels like it's in suspended animation right now.
Wish everyone a sober weekend..xx....mm
I revealed to my sister what exactly is going on and she was very supportive. Her husband is an alcoholic and she and I have always been pretty close. She was quite shocked to hear the path that my alcoholism has taken but it's nice to know there is someone out there I can confide in other than all of the great people here on SR.
More blood tests next week and my next liver biopsy is in March. I'm pretty sure my doctor is in a "wait and see" mode to assess things over the next couple months and then decide what has to be done. I'm staying sober though. Life kind of feels like it's in suspended animation right now.
Wish everyone a sober weekend..xx....mm
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Thanks for the update, Merc. Really glad to hear that you told your sis, and that you're feeling some physical improvements. Sorry it feels like everything is on hold right now. But you really are making progress, day by day. Read some of your old posts—you've come a long way!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 54
Hi Marc. In addition to this one, check into joining a message board for cirrhosis. DailyStrength, MDJunction, and Healingwell (hepatitis board) provide a wealth of information and support with active members.
livingwithliverdisease dot spruz dot com
^ that is a link to a blog/message board made by a guy named Craig, who nearly lost his life but bounced back with careful diet and a little hope. (It is NOT an advertisement link, promise)
All the best to you man. Take care of yourself and turn this disease into an inconvenience and not a threat.
livingwithliverdisease dot spruz dot com
^ that is a link to a blog/message board made by a guy named Craig, who nearly lost his life but bounced back with careful diet and a little hope. (It is NOT an advertisement link, promise)
All the best to you man. Take care of yourself and turn this disease into an inconvenience and not a threat.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
Originally Posted by mathmajor 
Hi Marc. In addition to this one, check into joining a message board for cirrhosis. DailyStrength, MDJunction, and Healingwell (hepatitis board) provide a wealth of information and support with active members.
livingwithliverdisease dot spruz dot com
^ that is a link to a blog/message board made by a guy named Craig, who nearly lost his life but bounced back with careful diet and a little hope. (It is NOT an advertisement link, promise)
All the best to you man. Take care of yourself and turn this disease into an inconvenience and not a threat.
livingwithliverdisease dot spruz dot com
^ that is a link to a blog/message board made by a guy named Craig, who nearly lost his life but bounced back with careful diet and a little hope. (It is NOT an advertisement link, promise)
All the best to you man. Take care of yourself and turn this disease into an inconvenience and not a threat.
My ascities is back today something fierce and I fear a trip to the e/r is looming. Part of the problem is that I'm supposed to be on a low-sodium diet (that's fine) and limiting by general fluid intake. I've finding it tough not replacing my customary beer consumption with another fluid (tea, water, diet pop, etc) and the bloating and pain in my body is brutal today and even worse at night when I try and sleep. My g/f discovered something was wrong this weekend when I yelped in pain when she nudged my abdomen and notices how unusually tough it is to roll over in bed at night.
I just wish my body would give me one more chance to heal itself but I know I've abused that privilege far too many times. Another reminder for anyone wanting to quit for the sake of their health, you don't want to go through this.
Here's praying my body can drain this fluid off on its own. Not fun. Thanks for all of the support and good wishes.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hang in there Merc. You're gonna have one helluva story to tell and share with others. My story involves DUI's an totalled cars. Man, we were reckless out there.
Just know that I'm praying and thinking about you.
Pray for God's will (if you're so inclined) and the power to accept and carry it out.
Kjell
Just know that I'm praying and thinking about you.
Pray for God's will (if you're so inclined) and the power to accept and carry it out.
Kjell
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I hope you are feeling better soon, I am in a similar situation, not quite as serious from the sound of it but my health is compromised and I keep drinking just the same. I hope you get the help you need
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Victoria
Posts: 143
Hi Merc, thanks for the update,
sorry to hear the ascities is still causing you some pain but l can understand how difficult it is to limit fluids when you've been used to drinking constantly (l drink an awful lot of diet coke!!)
Maybe it's time to let your GF know you drinking history and physical issues, now she's suspects something is wrong. She would probably be a great support for you during this worrying time.....just a thought.
Though no-one can go back and make a new start,
anyone can start from today to make a new ending.
Carl Bard.
sorry to hear the ascities is still causing you some pain but l can understand how difficult it is to limit fluids when you've been used to drinking constantly (l drink an awful lot of diet coke!!)
Maybe it's time to let your GF know you drinking history and physical issues, now she's suspects something is wrong. She would probably be a great support for you during this worrying time.....just a thought.
Though no-one can go back and make a new start,
anyone can start from today to make a new ending.
Carl Bard.
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