The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) (was F.I.S.T#3)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Carlos - Today my oldest came home from school and said to me in a super sweet upbeat sounding voice, "Today I am in a deep hockey depression," then got himself a snack. Haha.
I was sidelined with a fever last night. Unfortunately, I slept through the hockey game. Or fortunately?! I see I didn't miss much!!!!
Courage - Have fun in The Burgh! It will be especially electric after a big win.
At my son's game earlier that day one of the moms was super quiet because she was hungover. I was quiet because I had a fever and stomach distress.
I noticed that I'm not easier on myself for being sick than I was for being hungover. Got to work on that. I feel guilty and worthless when I don't contribute equally to my husband, or when my anxiety gets in the way. I know there is a line between pushing too hard and not trying hard enough; with anxiety it can be a confusing line to draw. Self hate vs self love vs self indulgence.
Anyway, I took today off from work to sleep and heal. After sleeping until well after lunch time I felt better, so I did a little cooking and the dishes. After a life time training in being an alcoholic, I think it's important for me to have my eye on the beam, always.
Gil - I know what you mean about feeling like you may be stepping into territory where your suggestions might not be needed or received well. My litmus test on whether to continue pursuing it is whether it adversely affects me / my loved ones / a group of people whose well being I am responsible for. Can't win 'em all. And sometimes it's important for the relationship to let other people win.
Carlos - I know how hard it is going through stuff. I have that project ahead of me this summer....... Hope all is well!!
I was sidelined with a fever last night. Unfortunately, I slept through the hockey game. Or fortunately?! I see I didn't miss much!!!!
Courage - Have fun in The Burgh! It will be especially electric after a big win.
At my son's game earlier that day one of the moms was super quiet because she was hungover. I was quiet because I had a fever and stomach distress.
I noticed that I'm not easier on myself for being sick than I was for being hungover. Got to work on that. I feel guilty and worthless when I don't contribute equally to my husband, or when my anxiety gets in the way. I know there is a line between pushing too hard and not trying hard enough; with anxiety it can be a confusing line to draw. Self hate vs self love vs self indulgence.
Anyway, I took today off from work to sleep and heal. After sleeping until well after lunch time I felt better, so I did a little cooking and the dishes. After a life time training in being an alcoholic, I think it's important for me to have my eye on the beam, always.
Gil - I know what you mean about feeling like you may be stepping into territory where your suggestions might not be needed or received well. My litmus test on whether to continue pursuing it is whether it adversely affects me / my loved ones / a group of people whose well being I am responsible for. Can't win 'em all. And sometimes it's important for the relationship to let other people win.
Carlos - I know how hard it is going through stuff. I have that project ahead of me this summer....... Hope all is well!!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Hope you continue to feel better Glee. Sometimes, you just have to chill a bit and let your body do its thing.
Congrats on the Pens Carlos! I was reminded of goalie Les Binkley from the early years of my hockey viewing. One of the few goalies to play without a mask by that time. Talk about crazy.
So I have been up since 1:00am and am now wide awake. I forced myself to stay awake for dinner, and missed my window. I am such a delicate flower when it comes to sleeping. I am envious of the folks who can fall asleep one minute after their head hits the pillow. At least I can sleep in a little tomorrow if I need to.
How are things Del?
Enjoy the blah blah blah Courage.
Congrats on the Pens Carlos! I was reminded of goalie Les Binkley from the early years of my hockey viewing. One of the few goalies to play without a mask by that time. Talk about crazy.
So I have been up since 1:00am and am now wide awake. I forced myself to stay awake for dinner, and missed my window. I am such a delicate flower when it comes to sleeping. I am envious of the folks who can fall asleep one minute after their head hits the pillow. At least I can sleep in a little tomorrow if I need to.
How are things Del?
Enjoy the blah blah blah Courage.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Just got the sad news that a friend of mine passed away at the age of 59. He was a fellow music lover/chart fanatic with a vast knowledge of radio and record collecting. We never met in person, but we had many great exchanges on public message boards and thru private e-mails. He suffered a stroke this past January and passed away peacefully at home last night. Just another reminder to enjoy our friends and family while we can.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,180
Crap - lost connection and post at Panera and sooo busy.
Shortened version -
1. Enjoyed seeing all from old home group last night.
2. Cour - enjoy your time in the finest city on earth. Big parade to celebrate our amazing hockey team tomorrow - 500K expected to celebrate (please control your glee at this news
)...wish my home was closer and/or less to do to prepare garage sale...would love to meet up with you. Ex got home in Pgh after big D and I was sent off to our weekend retreat house to drink myself to death.
3. Gotta run - no no - no drinkin today - best to all
Shortened version -
1. Enjoyed seeing all from old home group last night.
2. Cour - enjoy your time in the finest city on earth. Big parade to celebrate our amazing hockey team tomorrow - 500K expected to celebrate (please control your glee at this news
)...wish my home was closer and/or less to do to prepare garage sale...would love to meet up with you. Ex got home in Pgh after big D and I was sent off to our weekend retreat house to drink myself to death.3. Gotta run - no no - no drinkin today - best to all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Hi POST pals.
well sounds like we're all having ups and downs. My days have been full and crazy and I'm pretty tired.
I'm on day 5 of a 14 day stretch of sitting on children.
There's some big changes coming that way... maybe insane but financially, it will be mcuh better for me. I had to do some big thinking and sending up to the powers that be for some guidance. Turns out, things may just work well enough.
Count down to DS coming.
I feel like I've missed a lot here, and this little corner is important. Always read when I can! Still starting posts then scrap them. Ugh.
I'm sorry to hear that FBL.
Courage, hi! What's a burgh? Just kidding. I'm over tired and silly. But you rock the burgh k?
Carlos, I seem to have missed a page or two. I think you already rock the POST so keep on keeping on. Your words always give me a boost.
Sames to you SG, thanks for thinking of me guys.
Glee, I hope you are feeling better.
I wanted to say to you, and Gil, thank you so very much for all your input as to my workage situation. It has really been invaluable to me in taking pause, thought, and consideration for the whole matter. (and Gil, I really think you are being too hard on yourself xo) I need the broader perspective because I do tend to look for the easy answers (ha! those hard dying habits) I am getting a break from the more challenging child during day care hours. It will be a transition that will be good for us but I question how good it will be for her.
For now, it's a blessing I will take. Mom is taking her to the ped. Which is great news.
The 3 others I am taking on look like they will fit in nicely to my schedule and give me somewhat more financial security. Never counting my chickens and all that, but things are starting to feel like really, no matter what, I know I can find a way.
It was funny, as I spent the day arguing with a 3,4 and 6 year old, or rationalizing or whatever you want to call it, and cleaning up number 1 and 2 (ugggh) and grumble grumble grumble etc ad nauseum.
And I thought of the NA reading Just for Today, and how it touched on that very thing, we go to commiserate with our peers and vent about the ups and downs of daily lives, and yet, what a blessing.
It's so true, none of this would be possible never mind sustainable if I was drinking.
So many little, and big gifts if I strip away the daily frustrations,
I get to be at home with my kids,
I get to be second mom/auntie to a bunch of other great kids,
I get to act like a kid,
I am busy all the time,
I am employed,
I am more organized,
My house is cleaner even with a bunch of kids going in and out all day! ! (wow)
I am learning more patience
I can do some errands even on working days because of shift hours so my days off can be mine,
I can be in my pjs all weekend if I really want to even if I'm working,
My financial security is getting better slowly but surely, the pressure is easing.
Gotta remember to make myself a priority too, it's hard sometimes. But I am doing the best I know how. I know I am good with the kids and parents, trying not to spread myself too thin, or be take n advantage of. All in all I am quite fortunate. I am dealing with, for the most part, great kids and families.
Not much too complain about.
And I am rounding my way out to 6 months too. Pretty frikken sweet.
That thought of feeling so triggered the other day feels so distant and forgotten.
Kinda funny, I was just full of ideas and questions and not knowing which direction to go I paced around for awhile early this morning.
Finally, I sat down, totally lost, grabbed a pen and paper, wrote "Dear God, please"... picked up the phone, called a lady back about babysitting and things sounded really good after talking to her, I was so glad I'd made the call.
Then, I just wrote "thank you" What else is there to say I guess.. The only way to get results is to take some action. Things have a way of working themselves out if I don't try to have a choke hold on it all.
Much progress, forget perfection. Moving forward one day at a time.
Theretohencefore, nay drinking for moi today. Nor tomorrow, God willing I get there.
Anyways, sorry for story time, thanks if you've followed thus far, also thinking of the rest of our regulars and say hello to alls you lovely people.
In other amazing news, I have kept a fish alive for a whole year.
well sounds like we're all having ups and downs. My days have been full and crazy and I'm pretty tired.
I'm on day 5 of a 14 day stretch of sitting on children.
There's some big changes coming that way... maybe insane but financially, it will be mcuh better for me. I had to do some big thinking and sending up to the powers that be for some guidance. Turns out, things may just work well enough.
Count down to DS coming.
I feel like I've missed a lot here, and this little corner is important. Always read when I can! Still starting posts then scrap them. Ugh.
I'm sorry to hear that FBL.
Courage, hi! What's a burgh? Just kidding. I'm over tired and silly. But you rock the burgh k?
Carlos, I seem to have missed a page or two. I think you already rock the POST so keep on keeping on. Your words always give me a boost.
Sames to you SG, thanks for thinking of me guys.
Glee, I hope you are feeling better.
I wanted to say to you, and Gil, thank you so very much for all your input as to my workage situation. It has really been invaluable to me in taking pause, thought, and consideration for the whole matter. (and Gil, I really think you are being too hard on yourself xo) I need the broader perspective because I do tend to look for the easy answers (ha! those hard dying habits) I am getting a break from the more challenging child during day care hours. It will be a transition that will be good for us but I question how good it will be for her.
For now, it's a blessing I will take. Mom is taking her to the ped. Which is great news.
The 3 others I am taking on look like they will fit in nicely to my schedule and give me somewhat more financial security. Never counting my chickens and all that, but things are starting to feel like really, no matter what, I know I can find a way.
It was funny, as I spent the day arguing with a 3,4 and 6 year old, or rationalizing or whatever you want to call it, and cleaning up number 1 and 2 (ugggh) and grumble grumble grumble etc ad nauseum.
And I thought of the NA reading Just for Today, and how it touched on that very thing, we go to commiserate with our peers and vent about the ups and downs of daily lives, and yet, what a blessing.
It's so true, none of this would be possible never mind sustainable if I was drinking.
So many little, and big gifts if I strip away the daily frustrations,
I get to be at home with my kids,
I get to be second mom/auntie to a bunch of other great kids,
I get to act like a kid,
I am busy all the time,
I am employed,
I am more organized,
My house is cleaner even with a bunch of kids going in and out all day! ! (wow)
I am learning more patience
I can do some errands even on working days because of shift hours so my days off can be mine,
I can be in my pjs all weekend if I really want to even if I'm working,
My financial security is getting better slowly but surely, the pressure is easing.
Gotta remember to make myself a priority too, it's hard sometimes. But I am doing the best I know how. I know I am good with the kids and parents, trying not to spread myself too thin, or be take n advantage of. All in all I am quite fortunate. I am dealing with, for the most part, great kids and families.
Not much too complain about.
And I am rounding my way out to 6 months too. Pretty frikken sweet.
That thought of feeling so triggered the other day feels so distant and forgotten.
Kinda funny, I was just full of ideas and questions and not knowing which direction to go I paced around for awhile early this morning.
Finally, I sat down, totally lost, grabbed a pen and paper, wrote "Dear God, please"... picked up the phone, called a lady back about babysitting and things sounded really good after talking to her, I was so glad I'd made the call.
Then, I just wrote "thank you" What else is there to say I guess.. The only way to get results is to take some action. Things have a way of working themselves out if I don't try to have a choke hold on it all.
Much progress, forget perfection. Moving forward one day at a time.
Theretohencefore, nay drinking for moi today. Nor tomorrow, God willing I get there.
Anyways, sorry for story time, thanks if you've followed thus far, also thinking of the rest of our regulars and say hello to alls you lovely people.
In other amazing news, I have kept a fish alive for a whole year.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
That really is great to hear, Del.
I'm pleased about the new kids, and I'm glad you're getting a break from the challenging one--and especially that her mom is taking her to the doctor to see what's what.
Congratulations also on the fish!
I'm pleased about the new kids, and I'm glad you're getting a break from the challenging one--and especially that her mom is taking her to the doctor to see what's what.
Congratulations also on the fish!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Your post made me happy Deliza! Congratulations on the respite from the 1 kid, and on the other good news about your work situation.
I'm on my 4th & last day of this Pittsburgh nonsense. Carlos, the town may be wonderful, but my experience has not been. And really, a Cathedral of Learning? Who's Pope? Positives:
I have to go kiss these people goodbye. Smile smile smile
I'm on my 4th & last day of this Pittsburgh nonsense. Carlos, the town may be wonderful, but my experience has not been. And really, a Cathedral of Learning? Who's Pope? Positives:
- I predicted it *perfectly.* Always nice to be vindicated. This event was an attempt at indoctrination into a pseudo-scientific cult.
- The person who brought me here was as aware of it and disgusted by it as I am. I feel more confident that my colleagues aren't going to drink the kool-aid.
- I got to meet someone whose lifetime of work I respect, and he seemed to enjoy remembering work he did almost 50 years ago at the start of his career, which isn't what he's known for but is what I like & learned from.
I have to go kiss these people goodbye. Smile smile smile
courage!
9 days left til days off
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Great post Del! I'm super happy for you!
So glad that you have done your time in P-burgh Courage, and will be heading home soon. I'm sure NYC misses you!
Hope the packing is going well Carlos! Are you excited becoming a full time Florida resident?
Feeling very blaise about life the past couple of days. I have to work today because my boss is out of town for a meeting. Not a biggie, but I really have no desire to work today.
My AV was acting up yesterday, as it was very hot in these parts. Cut the lawn, which I used to reward myself with multiple beers. Hot weather also meant gin and tonics to "cool off." I was kind of taken aback by how mildly persistent the AV was. I need to knock him out of my frontal lobes and back down the brain stem where it belongs.
Enjoy the day all!
So glad that you have done your time in P-burgh Courage, and will be heading home soon. I'm sure NYC misses you!
Hope the packing is going well Carlos! Are you excited becoming a full time Florida resident?
Feeling very blaise about life the past couple of days. I have to work today because my boss is out of town for a meeting. Not a biggie, but I really have no desire to work today.
My AV was acting up yesterday, as it was very hot in these parts. Cut the lawn, which I used to reward myself with multiple beers. Hot weather also meant gin and tonics to "cool off." I was kind of taken aback by how mildly persistent the AV was. I need to knock him out of my frontal lobes and back down the brain stem where it belongs.
Enjoy the day all!
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