The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) (was F.I.S.T#3)
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
I saw Clapton in concert back in 1988. As far as overall career goes, it's Clapton for me, hands down. The album that he did with B.B. King (Riding With The King) is one of my all-time favorites. I also love the fact that he's recovered from his former drug and alcohol abuse.
Thinking a lot about my Dad today. He spent the last 31 years of his life in recovery and was one of my biggest supporters when I quit drinking. I'll always carry him in my heart.
Have a great day, gang!
Thinking a lot about my Dad today. He spent the last 31 years of his life in recovery and was one of my biggest supporters when I quit drinking. I'll always carry him in my heart.
Have a great day, gang!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
It's great that you have those wonderful memories of your Dad with 31 years in recovery. I will be spending time with my 86 year old Dad today. I had to pick him up a six pack of his favorite beer yesterday. Though his father was a miserable, abusive alcoholic, my Dad has probably downed 6-8 beers everyday of his life that I can remember. He was part of the Mad Men generation, where you had three beers at lunch, three after work and a few after getting home. Somehow, he was able to stay on the other side of the line and not end up like we did. I always thought that I was able to walk that line too, but somehow, the line moved on me when I wasn't looking.
Cigars Gilmer? That must be a sight to see. Enjoy the mountains!
Enjoy the day all!
Cigars Gilmer? That must be a sight to see. Enjoy the mountains!
Enjoy the day all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Carlos, SG & other dads - Happy Father's Day!
After 10 months straight of running the kids around to sporting events, our Father's Day plan is to have no plan and simply relax.
Fbl - I hope your nature walk is nice today.
All - I hope you enjoy the pleasures that a life free from active addiction brings!!
After 10 months straight of running the kids around to sporting events, our Father's Day plan is to have no plan and simply relax.
Fbl - I hope your nature walk is nice today.
All - I hope you enjoy the pleasures that a life free from active addiction brings!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Good morning folks. Happy Sunday to all and happy Father's Day to the dads.
That's an interesting distinction about your father stargazer. My father was the same with his bourbon and my brother is the same with beer. Almost daily moderate drinkers yet no change or progression in their pattern. The scales tipped for my sister and me.
Enjoy the mountains Gilmer and thanks for filling me in on your academic goal.
On a side note, I really enjoy stargazing. Here in the Deep South, the lower humidity of autumn and winter provides the best night sky. But even then the lights of suburbia mute the presentation. An absolute treat while in New Zealand was to see the southern cross......partly because I like the song!
That's an interesting distinction about your father stargazer. My father was the same with his bourbon and my brother is the same with beer. Almost daily moderate drinkers yet no change or progression in their pattern. The scales tipped for my sister and me.
Enjoy the mountains Gilmer and thanks for filling me in on your academic goal.
On a side note, I really enjoy stargazing. Here in the Deep South, the lower humidity of autumn and winter provides the best night sky. But even then the lights of suburbia mute the presentation. An absolute treat while in New Zealand was to see the southern cross......partly because I like the song!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
I'm having serious technical difficulties but I'm here now.
My father never told me he was an alcoholic. I've always called him that here, but really, who am I? He worked a lot and when we saw him at home as kids he had 3 modes: super "on," angry, and unavailable. Impossible to predict which it would be. The whole family lived around his "on" times. Later he was more and more just out-of-it. I left home young and very badly burned my relationship with him before I went. Then I just stayed at a cool distance for most of my adult life, turning into my own kind of drunk. Nowadays I can't even figure out if he was marvelous or a real *******. I loved him and hated him. He's a complete mystery to me. This is making me very sad.
Sometimes my ingratitude disgusts me. I've been lucky all my life. It's on me that I took so many gifts for granted, or ruined them with abuse, or rejected them because I was either too bad or too good. My family was a little twisted but all my father's children are still alive.
Hope, support, and compassion. xxxooo
My father never told me he was an alcoholic. I've always called him that here, but really, who am I? He worked a lot and when we saw him at home as kids he had 3 modes: super "on," angry, and unavailable. Impossible to predict which it would be. The whole family lived around his "on" times. Later he was more and more just out-of-it. I left home young and very badly burned my relationship with him before I went. Then I just stayed at a cool distance for most of my adult life, turning into my own kind of drunk. Nowadays I can't even figure out if he was marvelous or a real *******. I loved him and hated him. He's a complete mystery to me. This is making me very sad.
Sometimes my ingratitude disgusts me. I've been lucky all my life. It's on me that I took so many gifts for granted, or ruined them with abuse, or rejected them because I was either too bad or too good. My family was a little twisted but all my father's children are still alive.
Hope, support, and compassion. xxxooo
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm not typically very grateful, either; I often move from one internal complaint to the next all through the day.
I'm finally settled in up here. The chili is simmering.
I'm not sure I'll have a cigar tonight--too beat.
SG, rest assured that I don't smoke cigars out in public--just in the privacy of my own home with the full encouragement of my husband.
I'm finally settled in up here. The chili is simmering.
I'm not sure I'll have a cigar tonight--too beat.
SG, rest assured that I don't smoke cigars out in public--just in the privacy of my own home with the full encouragement of my husband.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Totally exhausted from my "weekend off" from work. Yesterday, my wife and sister and I packed a cooler full of food and drinks and visited my father in law whom is in a nursing home. He is suffering from dementia, caused by a series of mini strokes when he decided check out by stopping all of his blood pressure, heart, and anti depressant medicines. What was once an amazingly intelligent and witty man is reduced to being rolled around in a wheelchair and only able to engage in the most rudimentary of communication. It is very hard for my wife to see and to attempt to deal with. Her father is not the man she remembers. But because he still is alive, she really can't close the book on him and grieve fully.
Today was a family celebration of my son's 16th birthday. There were lots of laughs and pictures of him when just a wee tot. Manning a grill on a 90 degree day here and the constant running around feeding and entertaining 15 folks has me wiped. There were beers being consumed, and my sister is still working on finishing my last 1.75 bottle of Captain Morgan from April 15, 2015, that I keep for her visits. (I know the date because I bought a 1.75 handle and a box of chardonnay every Wednesday.) I had zero urges to drink anything but water, and coffee. My father was going on about how he and his one neighbor will be sitting in the driveway drinking beers and shots of whiskey when he gets back home. 86 years old and still partying like a rock star.
The contrast between my father in law and my father really struck me. My father in law is a 27 year sober recovering alcohol and been in therapy constantly most of his life. My father is a life long heavy drinker and one of the least introspective people I know. Yet, it was my father in law that tried to check himself out, leaving his wife major nursing home bills and his family constant anguish. My father lives his days until 2:00 pm when he heads to the bar to meet his friends each day. The alcohol (ab)user is living a happy life, while my father in law wears a diaper and can no longer express emotion. It certainly isn't the way I expected that either of these two folks lives would turn out looking back twenty years ago.
For me, it's just another day not drinking. Life is a big paradox for me at times. I just smile and keep moving on.
Today was a family celebration of my son's 16th birthday. There were lots of laughs and pictures of him when just a wee tot. Manning a grill on a 90 degree day here and the constant running around feeding and entertaining 15 folks has me wiped. There were beers being consumed, and my sister is still working on finishing my last 1.75 bottle of Captain Morgan from April 15, 2015, that I keep for her visits. (I know the date because I bought a 1.75 handle and a box of chardonnay every Wednesday.) I had zero urges to drink anything but water, and coffee. My father was going on about how he and his one neighbor will be sitting in the driveway drinking beers and shots of whiskey when he gets back home. 86 years old and still partying like a rock star.
The contrast between my father in law and my father really struck me. My father in law is a 27 year sober recovering alcohol and been in therapy constantly most of his life. My father is a life long heavy drinker and one of the least introspective people I know. Yet, it was my father in law that tried to check himself out, leaving his wife major nursing home bills and his family constant anguish. My father lives his days until 2:00 pm when he heads to the bar to meet his friends each day. The alcohol (ab)user is living a happy life, while my father in law wears a diaper and can no longer express emotion. It certainly isn't the way I expected that either of these two folks lives would turn out looking back twenty years ago.
For me, it's just another day not drinking. Life is a big paradox for me at times. I just smile and keep moving on.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Dementia is a horrible thing. My dad had a bit of mild dementia for the last three years of his life. He had a bad aortic valve, and when they told him there was nothing they could do for him he figured they were just sending him home to die--and his dementia really took a nosedive. For the last 6 months of his life he changed into a being we couldn't even recognize: he went from a gentle, quiet, affable man to a belligerent monster with the strength of ten men.
This was my beloved dad--but I felt not one ounce of grief when he died. I have good memories of when he was young, but I draw a blank for good times when he was older. I know in my mind that we had a very pleasant coexistence for ten years before his death; but I don't remember any of it: the horrors of his dementia completely erased it from my consciousness.
Only now, two years since his death, are the good times starting to come back to me.
This was my beloved dad--but I felt not one ounce of grief when he died. I have good memories of when he was young, but I draw a blank for good times when he was older. I know in my mind that we had a very pleasant coexistence for ten years before his death; but I don't remember any of it: the horrors of his dementia completely erased it from my consciousness.
Only now, two years since his death, are the good times starting to come back to me.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
My beloved Grandpa suffered with Alzheimer's. I was one of the few he recognized towards the end. Gratefully, he only lasted about a year after being diagnosed. I watched my Dad pass away from lung cancer. Luckily, his mind was sharp until the end. My Mom is currently in a memory care unit, but her mind is still pretty sharp. She was diagnosed with dementia over 10 years ago, but luckily she got a second opinion and they backed off on that diagnosis. I hope and pray that she remains with us for many more years.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
After writing a kinda catch up post, I was distracted on my cell and when I came back and finished and went to send....it had logged me out.
Soooo, much like GG offered - I read and care about you all. It is just a very busy and emotion packed time in PA. Hey, star...I for sure brought the Florida weather. It has been quite hot and muggy here.
Hope to write soon.
Carlos
Soooo, much like GG offered - I read and care about you all. It is just a very busy and emotion packed time in PA. Hey, star...I for sure brought the Florida weather. It has been quite hot and muggy here.
Hope to write soon.
Carlos
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
My battery power is way down. And I haven't even started yet on my summer commitments, including the commitment to relax & have fun, which is always the hardest for me. I need a fast recharge or change of outlook. Overwhelmed. Just for today.
Hugs! Sober!
Hugs! Sober!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I think this calls for a 
Happy belated father's day to all you dads. I forgot to call my dad... until 11:30 when I called and woke him up. :/
And I'm sorry for those who have some difficult memories or moments with their dads now.
I'd say in my recovery so far my relationship is the best it has ever been with my dad. During my teen and early 20s our relationship was not great. His long time live- out girlfriend was and is still verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my brother. We try our best. It is what it is. My dad is a lot softer towards me now. He is very proud of my sobriety.
My little girl spent the day with her dad, and I made sure to tell him that he is a great father, and I've always loved that about him.
Unfortunately my other two are still with their loser father. Still counting down eagerly the days until my boy comes. We all are. Very excited.
Still no drinking here today. Finally got to an NA meeting last night, my home group. Caught up a bit with my sponsor. I started doing the step work of NA and wow, it's quite a bit different than AA.
So, I'm kind of a little lost, I think I'd like to finish the AA steps and keep doing the NA steps... I am somewhat sponsorless in AA and I rarely am able to get to meetings. It's only by a lucky couple days off early that I have been able to meeting up this month.
July 1st is coming up which is going to be a huge break for my sanity.
Things will be much more relaxed during the days.
Financially, I am unsure where things wills stand but, I am trusting it will work out.
I always think about you guys too and I'm bad at addressing everyone too. I think we all care. I know I have conversations inside my head with all of you much lengthier than what I post
My fingers can't keep up with my brain.
Heck my brain can't keep up with my brain.
Happy belated father's day to all you dads. I forgot to call my dad... until 11:30 when I called and woke him up. :/
And I'm sorry for those who have some difficult memories or moments with their dads now.
I'd say in my recovery so far my relationship is the best it has ever been with my dad. During my teen and early 20s our relationship was not great. His long time live- out girlfriend was and is still verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my brother. We try our best. It is what it is. My dad is a lot softer towards me now. He is very proud of my sobriety.
My little girl spent the day with her dad, and I made sure to tell him that he is a great father, and I've always loved that about him.
Unfortunately my other two are still with their loser father. Still counting down eagerly the days until my boy comes. We all are. Very excited.
Still no drinking here today. Finally got to an NA meeting last night, my home group. Caught up a bit with my sponsor. I started doing the step work of NA and wow, it's quite a bit different than AA.
So, I'm kind of a little lost, I think I'd like to finish the AA steps and keep doing the NA steps... I am somewhat sponsorless in AA and I rarely am able to get to meetings. It's only by a lucky couple days off early that I have been able to meeting up this month.
July 1st is coming up which is going to be a huge break for my sanity.
Things will be much more relaxed during the days.
Financially, I am unsure where things wills stand but, I am trusting it will work out.
I always think about you guys too and I'm bad at addressing everyone too. I think we all care. I know I have conversations inside my head with all of you much lengthier than what I post
My fingers can't keep up with my brain. Heck my brain can't keep up with my brain.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
In case anybody was curious how all my academic angst worked out, I just squeezed in for an A-.
I hope those of us who are overwhelmed or frazzled get some emotional rest and get reinvigorated.
Have a good evening or morning.
I hope those of us who are overwhelmed or frazzled get some emotional rest and get reinvigorated.
Have a good evening or morning.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Congratulations, Gilmer!
The sky is dramatic here now. Storms passing through fast with brilliant sunshine in-between, and now the setting sun is reflecting off the skyscrapers and refracting in all directions from all the water everywhere. Everything is orange and rainbowed.
The sky is dramatic here now. Storms passing through fast with brilliant sunshine in-between, and now the setting sun is reflecting off the skyscrapers and refracting in all directions from all the water everywhere. Everything is orange and rainbowed.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Congrats on the A Gilmer!! I knew you could do it!
We had that same line pass a little ahead of you Courage. Raining sideways one minute, then full sunshine, back to wind driven rain. It was a long slog driving home tonight.
Finally a few moments to catch my breath. I have to crank out a bunch of employee reviews over my upcoming days off, but such is life. I just realized that the Summer Solstice is two days away, marking the longest day of the year. In my drinking days, I would start fretting about the days getting shorter immediately afterwards. I have self diagnosed SAD, and it hit me earlier each year while drinking. Last year, I made it through the winter unmedicated and without even using my Daylight lamp.
I have said it before on SR, but not here. One of the greatest benefits of not drinking is the lifting of my depressive state. Life was becoming one long daily grind. I drank to relive it, only to make it worse. Repeat after me:
Drinking mass quantities of a depressant will make one depressed.
Drinking never improved my intelligence either.
Enjoy the night all!
We had that same line pass a little ahead of you Courage. Raining sideways one minute, then full sunshine, back to wind driven rain. It was a long slog driving home tonight.
Finally a few moments to catch my breath. I have to crank out a bunch of employee reviews over my upcoming days off, but such is life. I just realized that the Summer Solstice is two days away, marking the longest day of the year. In my drinking days, I would start fretting about the days getting shorter immediately afterwards. I have self diagnosed SAD, and it hit me earlier each year while drinking. Last year, I made it through the winter unmedicated and without even using my Daylight lamp.
I have said it before on SR, but not here. One of the greatest benefits of not drinking is the lifting of my depressive state. Life was becoming one long daily grind. I drank to relive it, only to make it worse. Repeat after me:
Drinking mass quantities of a depressant will make one depressed.
Drinking never improved my intelligence either.
Enjoy the night all!
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