Gilmer

Gin and tonics were my cocktail of choice, too.

I thought they were "crisp and clean"--right before I sank down into the chair snoring! :-o

Mark1014

Yard work and beer! Here in the sultry humid south I considered the two inseparable. Towards the end of my drinking career I even had a special spot behind the pool pump to hide my extra stash.

I still hear the AV at times, always will I guess, but over the last few months I've come to realize that a craving now is generally fleeting and more like an annoying little gnat buzzing about. Nothing like the full on attack of a mama grizzly bear anymore. What a great realization.

courage2

Maybe this is a good time to try something that will stretch you. Boredom and complacency create a big empty playing field for the screwed-up side of an insane/alcoholic/drug-addicted mind to exercise its muscles. You gotta keep that field dominated by what your sobriety chooses.

What would the right thing to engross and reward you? Are you really a stargazer? Maybe it's time to shop for a telescope. Or maybe build a little fountain in that backyard?

I love that grizzly bear image, Mark!

Gilmer

Nice to see you, Mark.

Are you around, Tom?

FBL

I dabbled with the hard stuff in high school and college. That is, until I went on a wild bender, hit my head and suffered some kind of weird seizure. So, I decided only beer from then on. Of course, there's no way one can become an alcoholic by only drinking beer, right?!?

stargazer016

You hit the nail on the head Courage. I have been very stressed at work and home, and not made time to do anything fun for me. I feel like I have to assume god mode at both work and home to make sure things get done. It's wearing me down, and I turned to drinking over the years for my mini escapes.

Besides Del, I think that I have the least sobriety here. What did you folks with longer sobriety focus on during your third years? For me, my first year was basically learning to make it through a year of various life and calendar events not drinking. In my second year, I did a lot of reading about addiction, and understanding the biology behind my compulsions, which helped me understand my behaviors more fully. I felt that it really helped to grow and strengthen my sobriety.

I know that I need to find new goals to keep moving forward. Sometimes, I feel as though I have reached a plateau, and while the view is great, I hear myself wondering "Is this all there is?" The so called Pink Cloud of early sobriety is long gone, and the personal gratefulness with which I awoke every day, is getting faded, as I take a lot of things for granted now. My life is so much better now than during my drinking days, yet I feel that I have lost a little of the wonder of sobriety.

This period of two year sobriety seems to present a lot of challenges to people, and I have read many threads here about folks who have relapsed at this time for many of the reasons that I have mentioned. Like you said Courage, complacency seems to be a huge trigger. Naturally, stress is another.

I feel that my thinking has slowly shifted from one of making the most of each and every 24 hour day to one that is burdened by looking at all the things that I "must" get done in the coming days, weeks and months. I think Dee said something along the lines of "Being Master of the Universe is a thankless job " and I agree.

Thanks for letting me ramble my early morning thoughts out here. I think I see what I need to do. I need to renew my focus on the immediate here and now. Appreciate each new day, new hour, new minute living in the world not drinking or drunk. I need to shift my focus back to living each day, and not dwell on all the things that await down the line. Things that look overwhelming down the line usually are not a big deal when dealt with in the moment with a grateful mind.

Let me know who is the treasurer of this thread, so that I can write you a check for this therapy session!

Have a good day all!

stargazer016

After college, I basically stopped the hard stuff and was mostly just a beer drinker. However, during the last 15 years or so of drinking, I picked up the hard stuff with a vengeance. I was concerned about drinking so many calories. so I became a rum and diet coke drunk. That's alcoholic thinking, isn't it? I am one of the few people whom gained weight in sobriety!

courage2

I started on straight hard liquor and never strayed much. Of course some beer & wine but it's takes too long to get drunk on them-- I couldn't chug & I couldn't wait. An AA guy & I had an informal competition to list all the types of liquor we drank. I don't have a lot of gaps but I was primarily a gin-drinker.

Ahhh, I love the little trips back in time to all the ways we drank. Even our nostalgia is twisted. When my uncle was on his deathbed with cirrhosis, my alcoholic, also dying father went to see him in the hospital and they talked about the wines they'd enjoyed over the years.

courage2

I once heard a good man with the username grtgrandpa welcome someone to their 3rd year saying that the first is physical, the second is mental, and the third is spiritual.

Alcoholism is a tornado that touched down on all our houses. After, you spend a long time counting bruises, missing stuff, & clearing debris. Later (when people stop paying attention), you deal with the psychological part of the trauma and the attendant despair. If you survive all that, you want to rebuild. But first you need to design so that disaster won't happen again.

A design plan is different from a sober plan. Probably no one can give you much in the way of tips. I doubt you can buy it off the shelf or that it comes as a set of blueprints, but what do I know? I'm in my 3rd year too

PhoenixJ

I shared at a meeting last night...
If my holistic self is a computer- soft and hardware...then alcohol is a virus, meetings-SR and counselling are a firewall, and a reboot- is my mindful default.

courage2

^^^ nice.

FBL

Neither one was a problem for me. I fooled myself for many years thinking that I couldn't possibly be a drunk, cause it's "only" beer. Never mind the fact that I was consuming insane amounts of it each and every day.

Gilmer

I like the analogy, PJ!

stargazer016

Thanks Courage!

FBL

Congrats to Gil on 3 years and 7 months sober today!

Have a great Friday, all!

Mark1014

Happy Friday all.

I'm thankful to be in the latter part of my 3rd year of sweet freedom and think my progress has been fairly typical. The first year was all about getting through the 'first year'. A nice accomplishment indeed. The second year brought on a season of muted emotions and I approached apathy. After all the effort I guess I had expected some movie style happy ending to fall into place. So the realization came that sobriety on its own was just the beginning....it offered the opportunity.

In my own life this opportunity corresponds with my kids getting older and my career maturing to the point that I, for the first time in years, can be more active in discovering who sober Mark is and what brings quality to my life. A solo hiking trip to New Zealand was the reward for the second year of sobriety and more travels have followed. More adventure are planned. It brings me joy. Finally , I see that some type of volunteer work may be a good idea . For the longest I was so empty I didn't think I'd anything to give. Ever so slowly my thoughts are changing. Progress I guess. For now though it's gym time!......also key to my sober foundation.

Wishing each of you the best day.

stargazer016

Thanks for this awesome post Mark! I think I am exactly where you were at two years. It's time for me to explore new opportunities afforded by sobriety.

Congrats Gilmer! The months keep whizzing by.

Enjoy the day all!

courage2

Congratulations, Gilmer

Mark -- solo hiking trip in New Zealand? That sounds in-freaking-credibly amazing!

Gilmer

Thanks, guys!

tomls

Gil!!!!