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Old 07-27-2018, 02:04 PM   #261 (permalink)
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Yeah. So in on this one.

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Originally Posted by safeandsound View Post
Helene, I've never read something so close to how I drank. I have 15 days today. So many similarities, from not brushing my teeth to waking up EXACTLY at 4 a.m. (I was also covered in sweat). Loved the kid in high heels analogy! I'm a "high functioning" alcoholic if I don't count running out of an important meeting to puke or occasionally being unable to function (or even get out of bed) due to fierce hangover and pretending I was sick. I'm so grateful not to wake up each day full of shame, having to ask my husband what I said or did and being terrified of his answer. I have so much energy now! Even when I had a migraine yesterday, it was better than some of my hangovers, and it helped that I was hydrated for a change! Very grateful. Thank you because these small details make me feel less alone.
I am ready.
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Old 08-11-2018, 10:36 PM   #262 (permalink)
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Anxiety.

I never realized how much anxiety alcohol produced until I quit.
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Old 08-19-2018, 08:41 PM   #263 (permalink)
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I don't miss waking up hating myself and feeling like hell.
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Old 08-28-2018, 05:43 PM   #264 (permalink)
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I don't miss my daughter having to call and "check to see if I was able" to watch the type 1 / autistic peep.
She knew.....she spoke her concerns and made it clear she would be protecting them from me. If I had drank, I had to be honest and let her decide how to care for her boy.
Yeah, I don't miss the shame.
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Old 08-28-2018, 07:07 PM   #265 (permalink)
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((3wolves)) I'm so glad you don't have to feel that shame any longer.
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Old 09-06-2018, 02:40 AM   #266 (permalink)
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Another thing I don't miss is missing out on so much of my life either being too drunk or too sick.

I like being awake and aware in my life.
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:38 PM   #267 (permalink)
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I donít miss the groggy morning
I donít miss the bloated stomach after binge eating while binge drinking
I donít miss frantically hitting the gym to work off said binge - now I just workout to feel stronger
I donít miss hiding my booze, my empties, how much I was drinking
I donít miss the shame of drinking which my kid in the backseat
I donít miss the judgement always in my boyfriend and familyís eyes.
I donít miss hating myself because I felt powerless
I donít miss the endless trips to the store when Iíd ďjust bought a caseĒ
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Old 09-06-2018, 08:11 PM   #268 (permalink)
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I don't miss....

-Waking at 3am with a thirst to die for. Sweating. Anxious. Racing heart. Scared. Constantly getting up to go to the toilet because I need so much water. Tossing and turning till the sun comes up.
-feeling suicidal
-passing out with make up on teeth not brushed still iin clothes
-red wine on bedside cabinet when reading daughter bedtime story
-passing out next to her waking and gulping down rest of red wine
- stale wine breath next morning yuck!!
-trying to get my daughter ready for school with a raging hangover and being irritable with her and just wanting her to get to school so I can go back to bed,.
-sleeping my days away,
-stuffing macdonalds or KFC down my gob like my life depended on it.
-dreading the school pick up
-just wishing the day away wanting to get to bed,
-Picking up drink in the morning to feel better.
-not remembering putting my daughter to bed, asking her if she had a bath and cleaned her teeth the night before (just awful)
-palming my daughter off to her dad's so I could either drink or recover.
-being dependant on her dad (my ex) for above reasons
-seeing the worry on my mum and dads face
-wondering who I have hurt or upset the day/night before, what I have said or done or text. Ugh.
-having zero self respect and dignity,
-the feelings of guilt, shame,Anxiety and depression.
- waking up next to a man (in work away from home) and not remembering how we got there and just feeling disgusting.

ugh.
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Old 09-07-2018, 08:38 PM   #269 (permalink)
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I donít miss the random stomach pain and constant associated anxiety.
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Old 09-27-2018, 04:03 PM   #270 (permalink)
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I don’t miss drinking at social gatherings and wondering if I will drink too much and embarrass myself.

Wondering if the grocery clerk has figured out I am addicted to alcohol.

Worrying how much damage I’ve done to my liver.
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Old 09-30-2018, 03:45 PM   #271 (permalink)
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I don't miss giving my dogs and cats shipshod care cause I was either too drunk or too sick to care for them. Never again!
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 12-08-2018, 02:09 PM   #272 (permalink)
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Feeling Dirty and other things i don't miss

I always felt dirty when drinking, going into work the next day, no matter how long I showered I still felt dirty.

Pissing the bed everynight, drinking party cups full of whiskey blacking out and pissing the bed.

Waking up in a stupor, unable to find my way out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom, falling against the wall breaking my collar bone, and not getting medical attention because I was drunk. Going to work the next day passing out meds one handed because of the excrutiating pain I was in from my fall.

Letting coworkers believe that my injury was from my ex husband, because I didn't want anyone to know that I did it myself drunk.

drinking mouthwash to get rid of the shakes before work, or before my court order dwi class.

throwing up in the parking lot at work, all over the bathrooms

shaking so bad I had difficulty giving injections, giving meds, feeding people, handing my money to the store clerk to buy more alcohol

pretending that what people thought and said about me didn't bother me

the look of pain on my new "normal" boyfriend's face when he realized I had a drinking problem.
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Old 01-06-2019, 09:30 AM   #273 (permalink)
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There's nothing that gives me greater pleasure...

Given I posted this thread 'back in thee day' under my old user name, 43395.There's Nothing that gives me greater pleasure than to see it's still attracting responses, especially as on the 15th off February I will have been sober eleven years....thank you you all for your support
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Old 01-07-2019, 07:32 PM   #274 (permalink)
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What I really don't miss is waking up feeling horrible and hating myself. I am so glad those days are gone for good.
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I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 01-09-2019, 12:03 PM   #275 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseygurl View Post
I always felt dirty when drinking, going into work the next day, no matter how long I showered I still felt dirty.

Pissing the bed everynight, drinking party cups full of whiskey blacking out and pissing the bed.

Waking up in a stupor, unable to find my way out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom, falling against the wall breaking my collar bone, and not getting medical attention because I was drunk. Going to work the next day passing out meds one handed because of the excrutiating pain I was in from my fall.

Letting coworkers believe that my injury was from my ex husband, because I didn't want anyone to know that I did it myself drunk.

drinking mouthwash to get rid of the shakes before work, or before my court order dwi class.

throwing up in the parking lot at work, all over the bathrooms

shaking so bad I had difficulty giving injections, giving meds, feeding people, handing my money to the store clerk to buy more alcohol

pretending that what people thought and said about me didn't bother me

the look of pain on my new "normal" boyfriend's face when he realized I had a drinking problem.
Very powerful post, Roseygirl.

We're very happy you're here with us.

Your stories and memories remind me of my own.

Thanks, I needed that.

Please stick around here with us and participate in our forums.
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