Ekat

Did you mix me up with somebody else, Soccer?

Ekat

My doctor wants me to go into detox for 3-4 days. I can bang my head through a wall after 10 hours without oxys. I am very frightened and I'm wondering if anyone can give me any advice. I don't feel that I can get through it. I am also terrified of the anxiety that comes with this process. I have a severe panic disorder.

PLEASE HELP! (this is my brain)

soccer

Day 3 is almost over for me. I am begining to think I can do this. Almost feel human again. Thanks to everyone that sent prayers up for me, couldnt have done it without those. You will all continue to be in my prayers.

soccer

I made it through the weekend. The physical withdrawl seems to be over, now the battle with my mind can begin in earnest. Just to let everyone know it can be done if you really want to do it. My thanks and prayers go to all of you.

soccer

You know what is wrong with the country today? I think I have figured it out. It is more difficult to get certain over the counter cold medicines than to get narcotic pain relievers. I can call a Doc and they will say OK pick them up at the pharmacy for the pain meds. For the cold meds it takes a picture ID, computer check, and only 12 capsules per month. What is this world coming to

rainbow1

I am so glad I found this site and am reading these posts. I am on day 2 of codine addiction and I called in sick today because I felt like I had the "flu". My whole body aches and I'm out of breath walking up the stairs.

People here seem to think it gets (at least a little) better after day (3). Is this really right? If so, I'll take tomorrow off too and watch some movies and try and feel better. I seriously couldn't function at work. I even felt like I am going to throw up. Is that right too?

It will get worse tomorrow tho...from what I understand here. Right? Ugh. Maybe I picked a bad time since I'm starting PMS, but I'm out and I dont want to go to jail. Been doing this for a year now....ugh. Wish I never did.

Wishing everyone else lots of hope and prayers as I now know what you are going thru. It seems like this is even the easiest drug to get over and I still feel like sh#$.

Vintersemestre

^ no it is NOT easy to get over. Depending on your dose removing a codeine addiction is as bad as morphine.

Ekat

I want to express my complete admiration for anyone who has recovered from these monstrous drugs.

I just began the slowest of tapers, and I feel depressed and depleted. My baseline is depression, anyway, and I have no idea how I am ever going to get through this.

My children have left me and my dog is depressed because I am so paralyzed. Going on these drugs was the stupidest thing I ever did in my life.

Vintersemestre

The doctor decided not to chuck you into detox then? That was a good idea on his part because based on what you've been saying (how you feel when you don't have any) I don't think you would have lasted long before you were out on the street looking for something unless they had given you methadone or something.

rainbow1

No....I haven't been put on any taper drugs. I "happen" to have some Lorazapam that I have only used at bedtime. It is now day 3. I woke up feeling a little better than yesterday, but I have taken off work just in case the "shoe drops" on me again. I just hate how lathargic I am and want to do nothing. How did Codine give me so much energy? That seems weird to me. Now, I just want to curl up in a whole and do nothing....

ugh

rainbow1

I am praying for you Ekat. I'm not sure I could do a slow taper. I just want 4 days of hell and done...I wish you out of this depression. Get your kids back luv!!!

Ekat

I don't see another way, and I have no way of knowing whether this is going to work. As I said, I am already very depressed, and that's just from holding steady at the dose (120 daily.) I literally don't want to do anything.

Believe me, I wish I can just go in to detox, and get this over with, but that post that someone made (a first-time poster,) about a box of nails, planks, and a hammer, hit me like a hammer. That one night in withdrawal was very damaging to me. I have not been the same since. It set off a panic, and I nightmare about it all the time. It's like I keep re-living it. I'm so frightened.

Ekat

I wish that I had words of solace and wisdom for you. I feel so sad for anyone in pain. I will keep you in my prayers. These drugs are so horrible. I wish every single person could be induced into five minutes of full w/d. Every single person. I'm sure that it would turn people off from ever trying this garbage, under any circumstance (except for the worst of pain from terminal cancers.) This is no way to live.

bval

Ekat ... I honestly urge you to consider going onto subs.

Your life will change for the better almost immediately if you do. You will feel almost exactly like you did before you ever started messing with the opioids in a matter of a couple of days.

And you won't be looking at a tapering/quitting scenario that's all that different than the one you're looking at now ... except it's easier to taper off of subs, much less uncomfortable. In the very end, if you end up on them for a long time, then the w/d's do linger a little longer than they would if you just came off of oxys ... but as long as you taper down to a real low dose, they aren't too terrible, honestly.

Trying to wean down using your DOC is, in my experience, a much more miserable and trying experience than weaning off of subs.

rainbow1

I've never felt "panic" only "flu-like" symptoms, so I am so sad that you are going through this. Some people post that benzo's are the only way to get thru it, and some people post that the lingering effects (for months sometimes) makes them worse to try.

I'm guessing it depends on the person. For you, who suffer from panic attacks and other forms of depression, you probably should get on some sort of sub to get you out of this mess luv. Either way...you have to go through this sometime. You might as well start getting the hell over with. It seems like you want to be clean and I'll hold your hand if you need it....Just find a "lesser" evil med that will help you and start healing.

I agree with you and wishing and begging you were never on it. I will start the mental part of it soon, where I will crave the "high"...right now I just want to feel normal. I hope (like they say) this is the worst of it.....I couldn't feel any worse than now.

Warmest Prayers,
rainbow

Vintersemestre

Don't go condemning the drugs as a whole... I've been taking 20-40mg a day for years (20mg these days) and it helps me live. It brings my pain threshold up to a normal level. Imagine what it would feel like if just your blood coursing through your body hurt you. THAT'S no way to live.

rainbow1

I definately did not mean to condemn them as a whole. I'm only repeating what I've read on posts. Personally, I've never tried them. Like I said, I guess it would depend on the person.

sorry for the confusion.

rainbow1

The above post is if you meant the benzos...If you mean the pain pills....I definately know what it's like to absolutely need them. I started cuz I had breast cancer. I needed them badly. I could have (and should have) gotten off them over a year ago. I just didnt....

Ekat

I am more confused than ever. I take all the posts very seriously on this board. Does insurance pay for suboxone? I am trying with my little taper, and even this is hard. The body wants more oxy, and I'm giving it a little less.

I don't think that I was ever "high" on oxycodone, but for the first 5 months or so, they sure made me feel 'normal' and not imprisoned by anxiety. Now I'm imprisoned by both drugs and anxiety.

I have terrible thoughts all the time, but I am afraid of leaving this planet.

soccer

Ekat,
Things will get better with time patience and prayer. Your very strong and can get through whatever you set your mind on. You know where to come if you want to vent. :praying