Jails, institutions and death--I made a big mistake
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Thanks Kzaug. I actually dread my birthday every year and get depressed like many people do. I can't wait for it to be over. But I truly believe the energy you have on that day, what happens, plays out through the year. Its happened to me dozens of times so it's from experience that I speak and fear.
I haven't been able to change my thoughts, I don't know if it's possible for me, maybe too much early brain damage. But if that works for you that's terrific. I'd like to hear how you do with it.
I haven't been able to change my thoughts, I don't know if it's possible for me, maybe too much early brain damage. But if that works for you that's terrific. I'd like to hear how you do with it.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
I'm like Kz! Another birthday is just another birthday to me! That is when it rolls around! I'm a Leap Year Baby! Gotta wait every four years to have a real BIRTH day! LOL
So I guess I got ya beat on that every other year celebration? HUH?
TOD
So I guess I got ya beat on that every other year celebration? HUH?
TOD
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,125
Originally Posted by Lyoness 
Thanks Kzaug. I actually dread my birthday every year and get depressed like many people do. I can't wait for it to be over. But I truly believe the energy you have on that day, what happens, plays out through the year. Its happened to me dozens of times so it's from experience that I speak and fear.
I live one day at a time and every day is a day to celebrate life. Whether it be your 16,000th day on earth or whatever trying to place expectations on any one day just might lead you to being disappointed in the end, but that is me. Whatever works for you. Take each day as it comes - each moment as it comes. Obsessing is wasted energy in my mind - put that energy towards good thoughts.
Take Care Lyoness!!!
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by kzaug2014
Hi Lyoness,
I'm glad they rescheduled court for ya!
Look on the bright side, when ya get to our age, b-days are no big deal anyways. In fact, I'd like to skip them every other year, then it will take me twice as long to reach 80, lol!
This is a little off subject, but have you ever read the sticky on the top of the Anxiety Forum entitled "Emotional Memory Management?" I think it could really help someone w/PTSD. It says there are 2 parts to a person's memory. The memory itself and the emotional response to that memory. Then, it goes on to say that it takes 90-120 seconds for that emotional response to emerge after the memory. And if you think about something happy ( like things our pets do or just a beautiful, happy day you had in the past ) you can escape from the negative emotion from that bad memory. I just read that this past wk. & was so excited bout that revelation that I'm posting about it everywhere lol. The Sticky words it much better than I did. Definitely worth a looks see. Big (( Hugs ))
I'm glad they rescheduled court for ya!
Look on the bright side, when ya get to our age, b-days are no big deal anyways. In fact, I'd like to skip them every other year, then it will take me twice as long to reach 80, lol! This is a little off subject, but have you ever read the sticky on the top of the Anxiety Forum entitled "Emotional Memory Management?" I think it could really help someone w/PTSD. It says there are 2 parts to a person's memory. The memory itself and the emotional response to that memory. Then, it goes on to say that it takes 90-120 seconds for that emotional response to emerge after the memory. And if you think about something happy ( like things our pets do or just a beautiful, happy day you had in the past ) you can escape from the negative emotion from that bad memory. I just read that this past wk. & was so excited bout that revelation that I'm posting about it everywhere lol. The Sticky words it much better than I did. Definitely worth a looks see. Big (( Hugs ))
And let me know how that technique works for you. I was talking to my neighbor earlier about ways she's changed some of her thinking. For me it has always been a slow painstaking process that doesn't always work. That's why I feel hopeless about it so much.
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Instead of dwelling on the misfortunes of yesterday be grateful for the power of today. Becoming aware of this life lesson will help set you free. Free of regret, guilt and bad energy in general. Getting over your past is a part of life we all have to face. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Now, stop being a humbug on your birthday and be a good hostess. Put on some Christmas music get out the paper plates and forks blow out the candles and let us all celebrate this special day with you.
Each day we live is a gift, Lyoness. So thank your higher power in the morning for another day of life, and thank your higher power in the evening for getting you through the day.
Hugs and prayers
TB
Now, stop being a humbug on your birthday and be a good hostess. Put on some Christmas music get out the paper plates and forks blow out the candles and let us all celebrate this special day with you.
Each day we live is a gift, Lyoness. So thank your higher power in the morning for another day of life, and thank your higher power in the evening for getting you through the day.
Hugs and prayers
TB
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 357
Originally Posted by Lyoness
Thanks Kzaug. I actually dread my birthday every year and get depressed like many people do. I can't wait for it to be over. But I truly believe the energy you have on that day, what happens, plays out through the year. Its happened to me dozens of times so it's from experience that I speak and fear.
I haven't been able to change my thoughts, I don't know if it's possible for me, maybe too much early brain damage. But if that works for you that's terrific. I'd like to hear how you do with it.
I haven't been able to change my thoughts, I don't know if it's possible for me, maybe too much early brain damage. But if that works for you that's terrific. I'd like to hear how you do with it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Happy Birthday Lyoness! Remember, this is your year! Bombard your senses w/positivity...eyes w/imagery, ears w/music you like, buy yourself a rose & enjoy it's fragrance throughout the day, etc. Read every self help book you can get your hands on. I just started reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, subtitled Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
Psychosomatic thoughts can either work for you or against you. If you think you're going to have a lousy birthday, you will. If you say to yourself, "this is my year & it's going to better than last yr.," you will. I truly believe this.
Ty for PBS recommendation, but I got rid of cable last yr. to have more $ for drugs ugh. I also pawned my PC, yikes lol. I decided not to order cable ( or buy another PC ) again because of my addictive nature. I tend to go overboard with everything & I wanted to be more productive this yr. Now, we listen to music all day & into the evening, everyday. And, I'm getting loads of work & projects done this yr ( which makes me feel very fulfilled.
Big Birthday (( Hugs ))
Remember, this is your year! Bombard your senses w/positivity...eyes w/imagery, ears w/music you like, buy yourself a rose & enjoy it's fragrance throughout the day, etc. Read every self help book you can get your hands on. I just started reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, subtitled Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Psychosomatic thoughts can either work for you or against you. If you think you're going to have a lousy birthday, you will. If you say to yourself, "this is my year & it's going to better than last yr.," you will. I truly believe this.
Ty for PBS recommendation, but I got rid of cable last yr. to have more $ for drugs ugh. I also pawned my PC, yikes lol. I decided not to order cable ( or buy another PC ) again because of my addictive nature. I tend to go overboard with everything & I wanted to be more productive this yr. Now, we listen to music all day & into the evening, everyday. And, I'm getting loads of work & projects done this yr ( which makes me feel very fulfilled.
Big Birthday (( Hugs ))
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
P.S. We have 2 dogs, both girls ( Chihuahua & her baby, a chi-poo ) & a cat that my son rescued from a busy intersection when she was about 3-4wks old. Now that our children are all grown, they're our babies. They're all about 7-9lbs & the same size. And our cat thinks she's a dog lol. She runs to the door w/our doggies when someone comes over, fetches & jumps on our laps when we call her.
They're all very sweet!
Let us know what happens at court, k? ((( Hugs )))
They're all about 7-9lbs & the same size. And our cat thinks she's a dog lol. She runs to the door w/our doggies when someone comes over, fetches & jumps on our laps when we call her.They're all very sweet!
Let us know what happens at court, k? ((( Hugs )))
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Hey everyone, thank you so much for the birthday wishes and suggestions to help me get through. Wonderful gifts!
I tried to post more last night but SR went down right as I was trying to submit it. Then no more SR all night. Plus internet is down here so I'm on my phone. I admit I am a cavewoman but it sure is a great thing to be able to get online with my little ten dollar phone!
Last night I was saying that I was going to try as you all suggested, to let court be the last of the old and try to focus on moving forward and what I want. That's what I meant about setting the tone for the year. I try to think about what I want--call it prayers or focusing or positive hopes or whatever. It's just me trying to make the changes I want and I hope for in the ways I can. Birthdays feel like beginning and ending to me, a personal new year.
So tomorrow I'll have court, I hope it will go fast so I don't have to spend hours of my birthday there--just go in, stand with my lawyer and then get out as fast as possible. And let that sh** be in the PAST!
My neighbor said she'd go with me again which is very nice of her. It helps to feel like there's a person on my side beside the lawyer which is a strange relationship. He's defending me but is busy, confusing at times and doesn't really help me decide what to do which I thought was part of what they're supposed to do. Guide and recommend. But maybe I'm not fully understanding his role. He says, repeatedly, that my case is very complex, more so than many others. Maybe that's why he can't or won't suggest what I should do.
Anyway, once I find out what mental health court entails (my counselor got me a name and number of someone who can tell me--hopefully any way). Then I can start to get past this.
My neighbors offered to buy me lunch for my bday so that is a really sweet thing. I'm hoping to go to a town about an hour away and poke around and shop, etc. It's a small but vibrant place that has a positive vibe/energy, surrounded by mountains and golden hills and there's even lithium in the underground water supply, so would be a good place to be. That's one reason I hope court is fast, with short days and a bit of a drive I'd like some daytime light if possible.
I feel like I'm babbling so I'll try to finish. I really mainly wanted to say thank you all for all the good wishes and thoughts. I am thinking about what you say and trying to learn. My brain likes to absorb things slowly so that I get more out of it. Sort of like a crockpot (or crackpot) and let everything run by every other thing in it.
So
: and 
everyone!
P.S. I love all the smilies! And can we eat that cake Timebusters?
I tried to post more last night but SR went down right as I was trying to submit it. Then no more SR all night. Plus internet is down here so I'm on my phone. I admit I am a cavewoman but it sure is a great thing to be able to get online with my little ten dollar phone!
Last night I was saying that I was going to try as you all suggested, to let court be the last of the old and try to focus on moving forward and what I want. That's what I meant about setting the tone for the year. I try to think about what I want--call it prayers or focusing or positive hopes or whatever. It's just me trying to make the changes I want and I hope for in the ways I can. Birthdays feel like beginning and ending to me, a personal new year.
So tomorrow I'll have court, I hope it will go fast so I don't have to spend hours of my birthday there--just go in, stand with my lawyer and then get out as fast as possible. And let that sh** be in the PAST!
My neighbor said she'd go with me again which is very nice of her. It helps to feel like there's a person on my side beside the lawyer which is a strange relationship. He's defending me but is busy, confusing at times and doesn't really help me decide what to do which I thought was part of what they're supposed to do. Guide and recommend. But maybe I'm not fully understanding his role. He says, repeatedly, that my case is very complex, more so than many others. Maybe that's why he can't or won't suggest what I should do.
Anyway, once I find out what mental health court entails (my counselor got me a name and number of someone who can tell me--hopefully any way). Then I can start to get past this.
My neighbors offered to buy me lunch for my bday so that is a really sweet thing. I'm hoping to go to a town about an hour away and poke around and shop, etc. It's a small but vibrant place that has a positive vibe/energy, surrounded by mountains and golden hills and there's even lithium in the underground water supply, so would be a good place to be. That's one reason I hope court is fast, with short days and a bit of a drive I'd like some daytime light if possible.
I feel like I'm babbling so I'll try to finish. I really mainly wanted to say thank you all for all the good wishes and thoughts. I am thinking about what you say and trying to learn. My brain likes to absorb things slowly so that I get more out of it. Sort of like a crockpot (or crackpot) and let everything run by every other thing in it.
So
: and everyone!P.S. I love all the smilies! And can we eat that cake Timebusters?
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by kzaug2014
P.S. We have 2 dogs, both girls ( Chihuahua & her baby, a chi-poo ) & a cat that my son rescued from a busy intersection when she was about 3-4wks old. Now that our children are all grown, they're our babies. They're all about 7-9lbs & the same size. And our cat thinks she's a dog lol. She runs to the door w/our doggies when someone comes over, fetches & jumps on our laps when we call her.
They're all very sweet!
Let us know what happens at court, k? ((( Hugs )))
They're all about 7-9lbs & the same size. And our cat thinks she's a dog lol. She runs to the door w/our doggies when someone comes over, fetches & jumps on our laps when we call her.They're all very sweet!
Let us know what happens at court, k? ((( Hugs )))
I hear you on the tv thing. It can be addictive and expensive. But if you were interested you could probably watch the animal videos online or maybe your local library has it. It was so good. I only have an antenna and adaptor at home, I'm grateful PBS is one of the channels I can get!
Night owl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by Dee74
Best wishes for tomorrow Lyoness - and I think I missed actually wishing you a happy birthday- so happy birthday
D
D
It's weird. I didn't write about my bday in hopes of getting attention for it, Ii usually shy away from that. I was really just freaking out about court and all that.
But I can really feel everyone's kind wishes and it feels good (something I don't allow myself much). I am really touched by all of your caring and kindness.
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Originally Posted by Lyoness
And can we eat that cake Timebusters?
Peace and love and many many more birthdays to come, Lyoness
Hugs and prayers
TB
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