makida

oh and BTW...checked out ur music some tight beats man....keep it up brother!

hallegirl

STOP!!!!!! Don't touch those little devils. I found a pill bottle in my drawer the other day and man did I want even a little piece but got rid of them quickly. Don't leave them hanging around. Seriously way too much temptation.
You have done so well so don't give in.
I still struggle a bit everyday with wanting to take an oxy but no way do I want to start this roller coaster ride again

Good for you for working and not taking your cocktail. It's so tough but you can do it!!!!

Thanks to all for the encouraging words. You'll never know how much it has helped. Thank you.

makida

wow ur so right halle!!...its just that little voice in my messed up head sayin "cmonnnn man one won hurt...ur a veteran lol".....not hapenning....i will take a small dose of kray instead lol....thanks so muc to you too ur an inspiration!!!....congrats!

hallegirl

Oh ya lol a real veteran. Good for you for not taking them!! I know the struggle all to well.
Stay strong because you don't want to start at day one again.
I'm so impressed that you have kept working through this. That is impressive!!!

hallegirl

Just been wondering how you have been doing????

ItComesAndGoes

Day 16 tomorrow when I wake up ... I feel OKAY! Not good, not bad, but OK. I just stopped having to go to the bathroom 10x a day on day 14 so that is nice.

sekretoct

First post here. I am on day #4 of withdrawl from 6 or 7 30mg oxy IRs a day. Now let me say thats day #4 with no opiods in me. What I did was taper down over a month with perc10mg. Dont get me wrong I have felt like **** for 30 days now. Insomnia,nausa,sweating,sneezing are there but nothing like fullblown withdrawl. My other attempts at detoxing were all cold turky wich ended in failure. The extrem nature of full blown detox rapid heart beat,high bp then big time nose bleeds would send me into a panic wich would lead me to taking my usual dose to make it stop. Right now my all I can think is when will this end. But then I think of the hell of cold turky and how I would have never been able to get this far. Tapering is the key, its all in your mind. You just have to fight the urge to take more ,its not easy. It is a longer and very shity road to take but its worth it . Slower is safer and there is a better chance you will reach you destination (sobriety) fast and reckless will only get you lost and back on pills.

sekretoct

On day 3 of no opiods in my sytem . I did a long shity taper. well woth it though could never do cold turky again. I would have done anything for a pill going cold turky.Anyway today started a new syptom that i have never heard much about. When I move my head I get a slight dizzy tingly sentation in my head. I am taking Xanx.25mg on a reg. schedule again. I have used Xanax for years (panic disorder) but did not take them while I was using oxy for 5yrs.Only if I would have a panic attack would I take them. That was the one gift of having panic dis. I was scared ******** that I was going to kill my self by oding on pain pills and xanax so i chose the Oxys. I was neurotic as hell but a content neurotic thanks to the Oxys. Anybody here ever have similar sym. during w/d? My Neurosis is staring to get the better of me when it comes to this I keep thinking "Am I gonna take a seizure". Any feedback would be quit helpfull thanks

sekretoct

I dont know your back story and why you want to stop Oxy. As a chronic pain suffer(fibromialgia,thorasic outlet synd. and Lumbar disk dis.) I feel for you. There is a difference between drug addiction and drug dependecy. Dont get me wrong dependency can lead to addiction as was my case. My mistake was playing my own doctor wich ruiend my life.Under the care of a good pain managment DR. I emphazie good the chances of dependecy becoming addiction is slim. Is it your family that just dosent like the idea of one there own on pain meds? Is that the only issue? If so I say screw them and get to a good Pain Man. DR

08FLHTP

This past Sunday I felt so bad, I didn't go to a friends picnic. Not being able to function enough to even leave the house gets depressing. By noon, I took a hot bath in the Himalayan bath salts I got from my massage therapist which are supposedly good for helping my skin act as a third lung and assist in detoxing. By 2:00 I was actually feeling better...pain was minimal and I wasn't feeling weak. I was able to take the Harley out for a nice long ride, and stopped at the grocery store my way home. Then I even got some housework done which gave me a sense of accomplishment.

But by 9:00, the pain came back. With a vengeance. I literally felt like I was being skinned alive, but from the inside out. I felt as though sharp rocks had been forced in between every joint, which was a steady dull pain when I didn't move, but a sharp stabbing excruciating pain when I did. At first I took a bunch of ibuprofen, but an hour later when I was still curled up in the fetal position screaming and bawling in pain I gave in and I took an oxy and a sleeping pill. It took a while, but The pain eventually subsided and I was able to sleep.

Monday, I went to my doc, even though I didn't have an appointment. I asked him for muscle relaxers and something to sleep. He scripted me Valium to take at night after asking me about and confirming some other issues. Monday night was the first good nights sleep I had in a long time. I woke up Tuesday with only the slightest pain, and the ibuprofen was able to knock that out. I was active and busy until about 2 or 3 pm, and then I started to drag. I napped instead of getting my other work done, which means I am behind, again.

I took another Valium last night to sleep, but woke up at 4:00 am in pain. Here we go again! My doc had said it was ok to take 2 if one didn't help me sleep, so I did. An hour later I was still awake from the pain so I took half an oxy. Then I was able to sleep again.

Today I awoke a little after 8, feeling better than I usually have been, but still in enough pain that getting out of bed right away seems overly challenging. I took some ibuprofen, and came here. It's taken it's affect as I wrote this, so I think I can get on with my day.

I did get something in the mail from my pharmacy because I never refilled my lyrica script. I had started to do a taper down from it, but ended up going cold turkey from both it and the oxys, because when I was taking less lyrica I found I was taking a LOT more oxy. Apparently the lyrica causes the same kind of WD symptoms as the narcotics, so I am still fighting them both. The oxy was definitely better for me as far as hitting the pain with minimal side effects. I will still try to not take it, and I don't want to be reliant on Valium either. But at least for now I am feeling like I am more in control of my life.

Monday I am seeing a rubenfeld somatic synergist. I also got a card for a wellness center that uses holistic approaches to pain management. So, I do have other options now. And that alone makes me feel a lot better.

I also was able to swap my car for an SUV last week. I had an SUV a year ago, and I sold in in favor of a more fuel efficient car. The problem was, I had trouble getting in and out if the car because of the chronic pain. Being back to an SUV is soooo much better! I am no longer exhausted from running the simplest of errands.

Today is day 21 from my cold turkey. I only lasted 14 days before giving in to the pain. But, the good news is, I am still off the lyrica. And instead of taking 20 mg of oxy every 4 hours, I am only taking 10 mg once a day, if that. Maybe every other day. I'll call it a delayed taper. I'll keep trying to stop taking it, too. But, when the megadoses of ibuprofen don't hit the pain, I feel like I have no other option.

I am not sure if switching to suboxone is something I want to do. My doc suggested it when I last saw him. From what I read here, it seems like it can be just as nasty.

And I am not sure it will hit my pain.

I see him on Monday. I am going to try my best between now and then to be clean again when I see him. One day at a time, right?

makida

i slipped guys....im not back in wd but im so mad at myself....day 2 clean AGAIN!!!!....had 3 percs ****....sorry to disappoint yall...especially halliegirl...feel like a complete failure...

Dee74

I think it's important not to beat yourself up too much makida - that just used to make me want to get wasted even more.

You're here, you want to get clean, you want to change your life...sometimes that's really hard to do...and a lot of us have faltered a time or two.

You haven't lost all the things you learned or the things you accomplished in your sober time. You're not back at square one.

The sooner you can pick yourself up and get back to it, the better I reckon

D

hallegirl

Oh no. One day at a time buddy. Seriously just glad you are back on track again. I was wondering why no posts were up from you. Don't be discouraged. This is really hard but you know you can do this.
There are no failures here when you are doing the best you can each minute. So proud you got right back on that bad horse and have already gone two days.
We are here to support each other.
Stay strong. Couldn't have done it without y'all.
pS is there anyone around you can get some face to face support from?? I know that really helped me.

Lobs72

Makida, I feel you, back at day 3 myself and really po'd with myself, I mean really, I consider myself an intelligent person and yet when it comes to Oxys I completely fall apart - I have had to fake fever and flu to cover for the dope sickness at home and it really bums me out, laundry is piling up, errands to run and I feel like poop, even a 2 week slip will take you right back to square one and although it's not been as horrific as before it's still not pleasant, sweats and stomach issues, vomiting and general lethargy. Dammit I was stupid, these this definitely alter your body chemistry. So back to day 3 god willing I will make it through and finally be out of this hell.

hallegirl

You guys this is really tough the fact you don't quit and a slip up is not quitting , you will do this. Keep checking in for support. Everybody here is there for support. I know I am. Heh I have been so tempted too, wanting just a little piece but I just can't do the withdrawals again. I am almost four weeks and I still have bad hours some days but it does get better and I can't do a whole day of crap again. Stay strong guys. Big big hugs.

Brownie9534

Hi Everyone, just found this site as I am having a very hard time today. My boyfriend was addicted to Percs and I started doing them about 3 months ago once in a while with him and have quickly gotten addicted. We are both trying to quit. He had 15mg at 6:30 AM and has lasted 13 hours so far without anything since then which is incredible for him. He is working though so he is keeping busy whereas I am at home watching TV and have nothing to do but sit here and look at my pill bottle and feel sick. I am having a really hard time. Did 7mg at 12:30 this afternoon (we sniff them...we have 30mg pills which we cut into quarters. I have only had a quarter all day so thats really good) and now its close to 8pm and I am trying soooo hard but having chills, sweats, anxiety, etc. I am proud that we have cut down so much as we used to do up to 180mg a day. I am so frustrated because his addiction was so much worse than mine and I feel like he is doing so much better than me. He is positive and excited to quit and I am scared and sick. Just feeling down and dying for another dose. I want to cry I feel so crappy. Anyway, just wanted to see how everyone else was doing. Oh, does Aleve help? I heard there is acetaminophen in percs. Maybe that would help. Uffff.... I hate this I wish I never saw those stupid blue pills.

hallegirl

This is a great site for support so check in often. Just take it one minute at a time. That's all any of us can do. The first three days are the worst but it does get better.
U can do this too.

Brownie9534

Thanks Halle... well I just gave in after 4 hours of constant pain I did 1/4 (7.5 mg). So that makes it 15mg's all day I have done which is really good for me but now I feel guilty for giving in. I just couldn't take it anymore. I want to try not to beat myself up though. What worries me is that I did it 15 mins ago and I still feel sick. Would think it would have kicked in by now. I can't tell you how sick of this I am. I don't want to disapoint myself or my boyfriend. He is the one that pays for my addiction and he gave me one pill today. I told him I would only do half and save the other half for tomorrow. He is doing so well and I feel like I am failing. If I have to ask him for more tomorrow I will feel like a total failure. His addiction was 10 times worse than mine so why is he doing so much better? Maybe I am just weak, I don't know. Maybe he can take the pain more than me. I feel so hopeless.

hallegirl

Listen...... This is really hard. Don't beat yourself up. Everyone's approach is different. Justf take it me moment at a time. Be thankful you are not working and you have the space and time to get through this. Don't compare your progress to anyone. We all go through this our own way.
Sending you a big hug and wish you well. Hang in there. You can do this! You will be free.

Marcus

Welcome Brownie. Trying to quit while having a pill staring at you seems like mental torture to me. I am sure not 5 minutes have gone by today where you were not thinking about that pill. The withdrawal is no fun, but for me the mental obsession / torture was the worst. Maybe your boyfriend is doing good or maybe he has a secret stash who knows, but two addicts in the same house trying to get clean cant be easy. I hope tapering can work for you. It sure didn't for me. I had to cut off all access and bit the bullet. Take some time off and just let it run its course. I am not saying you should do that, but if you find yourself sliding back or stuck in the same place in a week or two you might have to think about it. Support has been a big key for me.

I was a pill popper for about 6 years. Finally that was not enough so switched to heroin and that took me down so fast. Struggled for 5 plus years to quit that. I would have months of sobriety and be doing great and then decide I could use just once for a day and that always turned into weeks of hell followed by horrible withdrawals. Get a handle on it now because things can get much worse in the blink of an eye.

Yes it is a struggle, but you can do it. The desire to quit and being sick and tired is an important first step. Keep posting and give yourself a break.