I'm back and tapering off of suboxone
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
if not meeting the spritual values found there and in the steps incorperating them in my life. the hardest part for me was stopping completely id alwasy subsitute one drug for another, try to control my use. it was the only thing that helped me stop and stay stopped. its worked for 4 years straight. I will agree i feel a lil out of place at AA meetings sometimes but my sponsor is from AA. to me it really all depends on the meeting hall and the unity of that group.
The green and gold step working guide really helped alot as well. kinda a guide how to get this thing. and change my behaviors and get some freedom in my life.
http://www.amazon.com/Narcotics-Anon.../dp/1557763704
The green and gold step working guide really helped alot as well. kinda a guide how to get this thing. and change my behaviors and get some freedom in my life.
http://www.amazon.com/Narcotics-Anon.../dp/1557763704
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Thank you for the link!
Today was a weird day. I went in to get my one pill and my husband sits it out next to the locked box. So for the heck of it, it twisted the combo a few time and it fell open! For a split second i thought of grabbing an extra but the next thought and the one i acted on was the one that said don't look at the combo, push it back together and rescramble the code. That is what i did. I played it thru in my head. Take another and then what? right back to where i started. I'm stubborn and lazy mentally and it's not doing me a bit of good.
After mulling over it for a few hours, i finally realized it wasn't the pill i wanted, it was the way i felt that i wanted changed. I don't care what that takes. So it took the intensity out of getting an extra pill.
I hope this loop breaks soon because listening to this broken record in my head is getting really old.
I think I'm going to try a half pill tomorrow.
Today was a weird day. I went in to get my one pill and my husband sits it out next to the locked box. So for the heck of it, it twisted the combo a few time and it fell open! For a split second i thought of grabbing an extra but the next thought and the one i acted on was the one that said don't look at the combo, push it back together and rescramble the code. That is what i did. I played it thru in my head. Take another and then what? right back to where i started. I'm stubborn and lazy mentally and it's not doing me a bit of good.
After mulling over it for a few hours, i finally realized it wasn't the pill i wanted, it was the way i felt that i wanted changed. I don't care what that takes. So it took the intensity out of getting an extra pill.
I hope this loop breaks soon because listening to this broken record in my head is getting really old.
I think I'm going to try a half pill tomorrow.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,068
Hi Peanut!
Good luck on the half pill!
I go to AA meetings, but use the NA step guide book, "It Works: How and Why." It goes along with the workbook Damascus mentioned.
Good luck on the half pill!
I go to AA meetings, but use the NA step guide book, "It Works: How and Why." It goes along with the workbook Damascus mentioned.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Hi Peanut,
Way to go resisting that urge to take that 2nd pill. You should be very proud of yourself.
Your statement about how it was the way you felt that you wanted to change got me thinking. When I was really feeling like crap I would go outside, soak in the sun & would imagine how great I'd feel once I was clean for awhile. I did this a lot lol.
Way to go resisting that urge to take that 2nd pill. You should be very proud of yourself.
Your statement about how it was the way you felt that you wanted to change got me thinking. When I was really feeling like crap I would go outside, soak in the sun & would imagine how great I'd feel once I was clean for awhile. I did this a lot lol.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
We have decided to stay on 1 pill for a few more days then go to a half. I have a vacation coming up starting on the 1st of June and i don't want to be just stepping down when i start it.
Yesterday was a good day, i don't know what was different but i had some peace and was thankful for that. Life on life's terms has always been difficult for me. My husband pointed out to me last night that right now, I'm financially more secure then I've ever been, physically in better shape than I've ever been, i live in the most peaceful and beautiful place i could've ever hoped for, I'm at the height of a successful career etc. etc. etc.
I have SO MUCH to be thankful for and so many good reasons to get off this medication, to be free from it.
I am my own worst enemy.
Yesterday was a good day, i don't know what was different but i had some peace and was thankful for that. Life on life's terms has always been difficult for me. My husband pointed out to me last night that right now, I'm financially more secure then I've ever been, physically in better shape than I've ever been, i live in the most peaceful and beautiful place i could've ever hoped for, I'm at the height of a successful career etc. etc. etc.
I have SO MUCH to be thankful for and so many good reasons to get off this medication, to be free from it.
I am my own worst enemy.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Hi kzaug!
I'm ok. I took my one and felt pretty good this morning, like maybe my body is finally getting used to this. It lasted a couple of hours and my attitude changed. I'm impatient and grumpy. I think it's the stress of not having any time off besides split days for the lady 10 months. I need a break so bad!
Physically i think I'm ready to step down very soon. The only symptoms I'm having is yawning, aching in places that i usually don't hurt, mild depression and being tired alot. It's no worse than that. The depression will trick you into thinking that you're worse off than you actually are. Head games.
I'm actually kinda proud of myself today. I'm doing it!
I'm ok. I took my one and felt pretty good this morning, like maybe my body is finally getting used to this. It lasted a couple of hours and my attitude changed. I'm impatient and grumpy. I think it's the stress of not having any time off besides split days for the lady 10 months. I need a break so bad!
Physically i think I'm ready to step down very soon. The only symptoms I'm having is yawning, aching in places that i usually don't hurt, mild depression and being tired alot. It's no worse than that. The depression will trick you into thinking that you're worse off than you actually are. Head games.
I'm actually kinda proud of myself today. I'm doing it!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
Originally Posted by peanut44 
Hi kzaug!
I'm ok. I took my one and felt pretty good this morning, like maybe my body is finally getting used to this. It lasted a couple of hours and my attitude changed. I'm impatient and grumpy. I think it's the stress of not having any time off besides split days for the lady 10 months. I need a break so bad!
Physically i think I'm ready to step down very soon. The only symptoms I'm having is yawning, aching in places that i usually don't hurt, mild depression and being tired alot. It's no worse than that. The depression will trick you into thinking that you're worse off than you actually are. Head games.
I'm actually kinda proud of myself today. I'm doing it!
I'm ok. I took my one and felt pretty good this morning, like maybe my body is finally getting used to this. It lasted a couple of hours and my attitude changed. I'm impatient and grumpy. I think it's the stress of not having any time off besides split days for the lady 10 months. I need a break so bad!
Physically i think I'm ready to step down very soon. The only symptoms I'm having is yawning, aching in places that i usually don't hurt, mild depression and being tired alot. It's no worse than that. The depression will trick you into thinking that you're worse off than you actually are. Head games.
I'm actually kinda proud of myself today. I'm doing it!
Keep up the good work were all our own worst enemies. Yes that how it works and why goes well with the workbook. Besides the Na basic text I'd say they are pretty important. I can still pick up the basic text and it hit me in deep places its the life we lead living with this disease. I believe a lot that spending time with these books can work wonders
If u don't already have one 8$ to save a life
m.ebay.com/itm/361293218005
m.ebay.com/itm/361293218005
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Hey all,
Just a quick check in. I worked today and it was a pretty good day. I think I'm finally leveled off at 1 pill a day. I take them in the morning now so the reward factor is gone. Instead of looking forward to them at the end of the day, i think about having dinner and other things! That's a big deal for me!
Starting Monday we are going to a 1/2 pill. Had a pretty good day today. I'm proud of myself.
Just a quick check in. I worked today and it was a pretty good day. I think I'm finally leveled off at 1 pill a day. I take them in the morning now so the reward factor is gone. Instead of looking forward to them at the end of the day, i think about having dinner and other things! That's a big deal for me!
Starting Monday we are going to a 1/2 pill. Had a pretty good day today. I'm proud of myself.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Another day has passed and again it was no problem.
I'm not thinking about pills really at all. I'm almost afraid to analyze it because I don't want to jinx myself or something! Lol!
I've been taking my daily dose in the morning while I'm getting ready for work and then go and work my butt off and come home. The last couple of nights have been no big deal. I do have the weekend off and that can be scary because of boredom but I'll try to keep busy.
I was going to help my husband at his job but I need the rest more so I'm staying home. On Monday we are going to take the taper down to 1/2 pill, 1mg. The lowest I've taken in 2 years.
I'm going to do this! I hope everyone is doing good! =)
I'm not thinking about pills really at all. I'm almost afraid to analyze it because I don't want to jinx myself or something! Lol!
I've been taking my daily dose in the morning while I'm getting ready for work and then go and work my butt off and come home. The last couple of nights have been no big deal. I do have the weekend off and that can be scary because of boredom but I'll try to keep busy.
I was going to help my husband at his job but I need the rest more so I'm staying home. On Monday we are going to take the taper down to 1/2 pill, 1mg. The lowest I've taken in 2 years.
I'm going to do this! I hope everyone is doing good! =)
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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So I am going to do this but today has been difficult. Damn boredom and being alone. Like I said, I'm not very self motivated.
Cravings have been intense today so I've been sleeping alot and reading. It's definitely still mental at this point. Tomorrow is my last day at 1. Fun, fun!
Tomorrow I'll try to get outside with my husband and pittle around in the garden or play with the chickens. I'm also reading a book called Recover! It's pretty interesting. It's a different take on addiction that I am comfortable with. I'll let you more as I get into to it.
Hope all is well.
Cravings have been intense today so I've been sleeping alot and reading. It's definitely still mental at this point. Tomorrow is my last day at 1. Fun, fun!
Tomorrow I'll try to get outside with my husband and pittle around in the garden or play with the chickens. I'm also reading a book called Recover! It's pretty interesting. It's a different take on addiction that I am comfortable with. I'll let you more as I get into to it.
Hope all is well.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
I will agree with what CleanLl said about getting off suboxone. i was on it for quite sometime not ready to make the jump fighting withmyself internally and my addiction in my head. When i checked into detox they did give me some non narcotic things to help with the withdrawls. It was one of the lesser withdrawls i had been through i think i took subs for about 8-9 months.
sorry my other link didnt work idk why maybe cuz i used my phone
the basic text best book i ever read. i still find myself in it.
Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text 6th Edition Recovery 1557767343 | eBay
sorry my other link didnt work idk why maybe cuz i used my phone
the basic text best book i ever read. i still find myself in it.
Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text 6th Edition Recovery 1557767343 | eBay
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Thanks for the link again!
Im hearing that more and more that the withdrawals are not quite as bad as most. You know how we can psych ourselves out tho.
Today was my first day at a half. That's 1mg. Interesting, the way i feel. I can definitely feel the lack of it. The good feelings are done. It's just taking enough so i won't crave or withdrawal. I did take 0.5 of an Ativan tonight. Pretty rough day with anxiety.
I will continue on with 1 mg. for a couple weeks. I just hope I'm OK over my vacation.
Im hearing that more and more that the withdrawals are not quite as bad as most. You know how we can psych ourselves out tho.
Today was my first day at a half. That's 1mg. Interesting, the way i feel. I can definitely feel the lack of it. The good feelings are done. It's just taking enough so i won't crave or withdrawal. I did take 0.5 of an Ativan tonight. Pretty rough day with anxiety.
I will continue on with 1 mg. for a couple weeks. I just hope I'm OK over my vacation.
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Today was a 1/2 pill. Boy, oh boy can i feel it! Feeling pretty poorly tonight. Holy crap.
I took my half on the drive to work and i was so proud of myself because most of the day i was doing pretty good.
Different story now. About 5pm, i kind of just fell off a cliff. Aching all over, headache, that old familiar feeling. I'm trying to roll with it. Something i did try today was being "mindful" whenever i could. Whenever i felt grumpy or judgmental or having a craving, i would kind of notice and take it for what it was and not read anything into it. I think that helped some. I'm in bed for the night.
I'll be so glad when this is over. I'm surprised i actually have the patience for this. Good night all!
I took my half on the drive to work and i was so proud of myself because most of the day i was doing pretty good.
Different story now. About 5pm, i kind of just fell off a cliff. Aching all over, headache, that old familiar feeling. I'm trying to roll with it. Something i did try today was being "mindful" whenever i could. Whenever i felt grumpy or judgmental or having a craving, i would kind of notice and take it for what it was and not read anything into it. I think that helped some. I'm in bed for the night.
I'll be so glad when this is over. I'm surprised i actually have the patience for this. Good night all!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
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"That old familiar feeling" i used to say those words myself i know the feeling all to well. Whenever i had cravings or felt unpleasant talking to others like myself often helped. they understood and therefore wanted to help.
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