I'm back and tapering off of suboxone
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Yep peanut, you make lots of sense. That is my problem too. These past few days I've cut out one of my doses in preparation for going down a little more. I am missing it because I learned to enjoy each dose. They were like mini rewards. Same as the cigarette breaks I scattered thru out my day. I have got to stop thinking in that way too. Like a substance is a reward and why do I NEED rewards anyway? Something is really faulty in my thinking. Ugh!
I was going to tell you that what I would do is break that 1 dose into two....so I have one to take when I get home. But I think that would defeat what you are trying to do...which is to stop thinking of doses as rewards. That I'm still working on myself. Since quitting cigs I've even turned to food and coffee. I'm not sure how to rewire my brain?
I was going to tell you that what I would do is break that 1 dose into two....so I have one to take when I get home. But I think that would defeat what you are trying to do...which is to stop thinking of doses as rewards. That I'm still working on myself. Since quitting cigs I've even turned to food and coffee. I'm not sure how to rewire my brain?
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Yeah, I definitely need to take the reward factor out of it. Yesterday, I made a point of coming home after work and having dinner with my husband. No cell phones or Facebook or tv. So that was nice.
My friend at work, the gal who is in recovery pulled me aside and said, you're titrating off of a medication right? I said yes. We had talked of it once before. She told me, whatever you're doing is working! You seem less stressed, more calm and focused. It was a good feeling!
Today I took my dose at around 2 and noticed about an hour later that I was in a foul mood. Impatient and confused. Like I had taken too much suboxone. I'm starting to build up some negative feelings against the drug which I will use to succeed.
We need to replace bad rewards with healthy rewards!
My friend at work, the gal who is in recovery pulled me aside and said, you're titrating off of a medication right? I said yes. We had talked of it once before. She told me, whatever you're doing is working! You seem less stressed, more calm and focused. It was a good feeling!
Today I took my dose at around 2 and noticed about an hour later that I was in a foul mood. Impatient and confused. Like I had taken too much suboxone. I'm starting to build up some negative feelings against the drug which I will use to succeed.
We need to replace bad rewards with healthy rewards!
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Hey peanut. I've been keeping up with your thread and can totally relate to the "suboxone as reward" mindset.
When on 8mg I would usually take it 4 times a day (2mg each time). I recognized it as total addict behavior but could never get myself to just take the whole 8mg once a day.
I was never good at limiting myself (which is why tapering never worked for me). But from your thread, you're doing great at your taper. Keep it up and good luck.
When on 8mg I would usually take it 4 times a day (2mg each time). I recognized it as total addict behavior but could never get myself to just take the whole 8mg once a day.
I was never good at limiting myself (which is why tapering never worked for me). But from your thread, you're doing great at your taper. Keep it up and good luck.
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Peanut I agree with what you are saying. I will be doing the same thing. Because I have to learn to hate something in order to stop doing it or taking it. That is the way I am too. I have to realize that it's still an opiate and it's still addictive and in order to be completely free from an opiate addiction I need to be off of it.
Don't get me wrong, The sub served it's purpose. It was what I needed to get out from under my very destructive pill addiction. But with anything that is temporary or meant to be used as a crutch , it's time to say farewell.
and goodbye!
So to anyone who reads this that is using sub for maintenance, please don't be offended. It really has helped me considerably. I don't know where I'd be without it? Maybe dead? Who knows? I just need to try to live life free now. That's all.
You are doing so well peanut! I'm so proud of you! Your thread couldn't have come at a better time! It's what I need to witness to get my butt off this stuff!
Don't get me wrong, The sub served it's purpose. It was what I needed to get out from under my very destructive pill addiction. But with anything that is temporary or meant to be used as a crutch , it's time to say farewell.
and goodbye! So to anyone who reads this that is using sub for maintenance, please don't be offended. It really has helped me considerably. I don't know where I'd be without it? Maybe dead? Who knows? I just need to try to live life free now. That's all.
You are doing so well peanut! I'm so proud of you! Your thread couldn't have come at a better time! It's what I need to witness to get my butt off this stuff!
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I'm so stressed. I'm at work and checking in. My job is so high stress, it's hard to explain. I'm a manager in a retail establishment. Today was a day that i almost cried.
I'm over whelmed. And of course my thoughts are right to the pills. I hate addiction! I don't smoke, i don't drink, i just want so badly to have something else i can look forward to. What a waste, thinking about pills all the time! Over the years it has dawned on me more and more just how classically addicted i am. I used to think i was different. I am no different than anyone else. My problem is just as serious.
Had to vent a bit.
I'm over whelmed. And of course my thoughts are right to the pills. I hate addiction! I don't smoke, i don't drink, i just want so badly to have something else i can look forward to. What a waste, thinking about pills all the time! Over the years it has dawned on me more and more just how classically addicted i am. I used to think i was different. I am no different than anyone else. My problem is just as serious.
Had to vent a bit.
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((((Peanut))))
Remember you are in that position because you've proven that you are good at it! I know management is stressful but you are amazing at what you do and that is why you are there. Especially, its stressful right now....with mothers day just around the corner....it being spring too. But it won't be that way forever!
You are doing great! So don't worry! Vent away...peanut!
Remember you are in that position because you've proven that you are good at it! I know management is stressful but you are amazing at what you do and that is why you are there. Especially, its stressful right now....with mothers day just around the corner....it being spring too. But it won't be that way forever!
You are doing great! So don't worry! Vent away...peanut!
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Thank you Clean!!
I'm home but what a day!! Even my recovery friend noticed that I was struggling and mentioned it.
It just seemed like everything I touched today broke or went wrong somehow. Maybe this time brings up how much of a terrible relationship I have with my mom. Or non-exsistent I should say.
I felt like I snapped at my girls, so I had to go and ask each one just to make sure and they said I was fine. So many things going on today that I don't even know where to start sometimes.
This is the longest I've gone on just 1 pill since I started my taper and I'm feeling it physically and mentally today. I've been right on the verge of crying off and on all day and I'm not a crier. Can't remember the last time I did actually.
Not really withdrawals to speak of. No yawning or sweating. I still have a great appetite. I'm just exhausted, a little achy and all I want to do is sleep. I'm working my ass of tho so I'm sure that has something to do with it. LOL!!
So, tonight, my husband is being extra supportive and he is very proud of me for actually doing this taper. I'm not going to beat myself up for just sitting in bed and being on this site. This is what it is going to take for me to get thru today.
Thank you guys so much for the replies, thoughts and kindness. It means more than you know. See?? Tears are welling up again!!=)
I'm home but what a day!! Even my recovery friend noticed that I was struggling and mentioned it.
It just seemed like everything I touched today broke or went wrong somehow. Maybe this time brings up how much of a terrible relationship I have with my mom. Or non-exsistent I should say.
I felt like I snapped at my girls, so I had to go and ask each one just to make sure and they said I was fine. So many things going on today that I don't even know where to start sometimes.
This is the longest I've gone on just 1 pill since I started my taper and I'm feeling it physically and mentally today. I've been right on the verge of crying off and on all day and I'm not a crier. Can't remember the last time I did actually.
Not really withdrawals to speak of. No yawning or sweating. I still have a great appetite. I'm just exhausted, a little achy and all I want to do is sleep. I'm working my ass of tho so I'm sure that has something to do with it. LOL!!
So, tonight, my husband is being extra supportive and he is very proud of me for actually doing this taper. I'm not going to beat myself up for just sitting in bed and being on this site. This is what it is going to take for me to get thru today.
Thank you guys so much for the replies, thoughts and kindness. It means more than you know. See?? Tears are welling up again!!=)
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That's great Peanut, I'm glad you are feeling better. Yes...relax read around SR. You deserve to take a break and spend your time however you like.
You are amazing and remaining at 1 mg. For as long as you have awesome! I hope you have a great weekend....before you know it...Mother's day will slip into the past. Then summer will be here. Yay! I love summer!
Take care Peanut!
You are amazing and remaining at 1 mg. For as long as you have awesome! I hope you have a great weekend....before you know it...Mother's day will slip into the past. Then summer will be here. Yay! I love summer!
Take care Peanut!
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Idk if you've ever read over at suboxone talk zone or not. But there is a section about tapers and it's really interesting. There is someone there that has a some weird taper download. Ha ha ha! Idk how to describe it....but it was very interesting. The consensus of what I read was that the longer and more drawn out the taper the least amount of withdrawal symptoms. But most said they found it hard to be that patient and many just reached a certain point and jumped. Many said even with jumping they didn't regret it though and that it was just a huge relief to be off it.
But there were lots of different stories so obviously all different types of opinions and experienced shared there... Like here...same thing.
I talked to my doctor about going down to 3 mgs. soon. So one of these days I'm going to go down. One of the posters who said he went off with no withdrawal symptoms went down 1 mg. At a time till he reached 2 mgs. Then went down less after that. But remained for a week on each lowered dose unless he felt symptoms then he'd wait another week until he was completely comfortable and ready to go down further. He said it really drew it out and took him several months. But says it was worth it. So I think I'll try to do something like that?
But there were lots of different stories so obviously all different types of opinions and experienced shared there... Like here...same thing.
I talked to my doctor about going down to 3 mgs. soon. So one of these days I'm going to go down. One of the posters who said he went off with no withdrawal symptoms went down 1 mg. At a time till he reached 2 mgs. Then went down less after that. But remained for a week on each lowered dose unless he felt symptoms then he'd wait another week until he was completely comfortable and ready to go down further. He said it really drew it out and took him several months. But says it was worth it. So I think I'll try to do something like that?
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I'm pretty sure i saw that site and i wanted to do a nice long taper until my doctors wife, the office manager, wrote us the nastiest letter concerning insurance billing. The doctor suddenly changed my prescription from 90 to 60 per month and after the treatment i received from his wife, there is no way i could go back in to that office. So 60 is what i was left with. No one else around here can prescribe suboxone.
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One of the reasons I jumped from 2mgs was that when I cut my dose from 4mg to 2mg, I felt absolutely no withdrawals. When I quit, I didn't feel any w/d's until 2 days after.
I know you're the manager, but I still think you ought to take a few days off when you jump. Better safe than sorry.
You know what Peanut, I've been at SR everyday, but I thought you'd be far too busy with work to post, as it's Mother's Day tomorrow. I need to quit assuming lol.
I know you're the manager, but I still think you ought to take a few days off when you jump. Better safe than sorry.
You know what Peanut, I've been at SR everyday, but I thought you'd be far too busy with work to post, as it's Mother's Day tomorrow. I need to quit assuming lol.
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I sure hope this is not the same as methadone. I mean I really hope it isn't. I was dead sick for a month. I didn't have to work thru that one but I don't think I could've had I wanted/needed to. That's why I'm trying to taper as low as possible.
How long did you take 2 mgs. before you jumped? I've heard that most people don't have too much problem getting down to 2 mgs. It's going lower that you start to feel it.
This morning, I had to take a small extra piece. I just couldn't handle it, knowing the kind of day this would be. I needed to be all there. I knew with a little extra that it would get me thru today and probably last enough in my system that 1 pill tomorrow would be sufficient and I could just continue the taper.
What a pain this is. I'll be glad when I'm done.
Today was super, duper busy. And also a tough day. My thoughts keep turning to pills and the taper and not having them, blah, blah, blah. It's worse today than normal and I'm not sure why. It's not PMS. I've just been grumpy off and on all day. Maybe the pressure from work, who knows?? Even though I'm at work, it feels good to know that I can post something on here, and that one of you guys will see it and respond with advice or some inspiration. I've been on a few recovery sites over the years and I can definitely say, hands down, this is thee best. Supportive and consistent. That is important to me.
Wish me luck tomorrow!! Happy Mother's Day!!!!
How long did you take 2 mgs. before you jumped? I've heard that most people don't have too much problem getting down to 2 mgs. It's going lower that you start to feel it.
This morning, I had to take a small extra piece. I just couldn't handle it, knowing the kind of day this would be. I needed to be all there. I knew with a little extra that it would get me thru today and probably last enough in my system that 1 pill tomorrow would be sufficient and I could just continue the taper.
What a pain this is. I'll be glad when I'm done.
Today was super, duper busy. And also a tough day. My thoughts keep turning to pills and the taper and not having them, blah, blah, blah. It's worse today than normal and I'm not sure why. It's not PMS. I've just been grumpy off and on all day. Maybe the pressure from work, who knows?? Even though I'm at work, it feels good to know that I can post something on here, and that one of you guys will see it and respond with advice or some inspiration. I've been on a few recovery sites over the years and I can definitely say, hands down, this is thee best. Supportive and consistent. That is important to me.
Wish me luck tomorrow!! Happy Mother's Day!!!!
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Peanut It's a shame that they have a little monopoly over where you live. That is another reason I want to get off this stuff. Because I hate having to be tied down to it. It makes me extremely anxious knowing that I'm on something I can't quit abruptly. Anything could happen. Argh!
Too funny Kzaug. Even the boss needs time off sometimes.
Too funny Kzaug. Even the boss needs time off sometimes.
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Good luck peanut!!
Well when I was reading over there ....the posters that I read about all said that getting off of sub is easier than faster acting opiates? Definitely easier than heroin. They all said they worked thru it? They mostly complained about being tired, lethargic and having insomnia. They said they had a little RLS, nausea and hot/cold sensations but no where near as bad as Oxy or H? So IDK??? Maybe the longer half life helps? I hope it's not bad!
Basically I am trying to read positive experiences though. I've run across a few that weren't....but mostly it was people who jumped from 8 mgs or 8+ mgs. Which I don't plan to do. Unless I'm forced to.
Happy Mother's Day Peanut! Don't work too hard! I agree about SR.
Well when I was reading over there ....the posters that I read about all said that getting off of sub is easier than faster acting opiates? Definitely easier than heroin. They all said they worked thru it? They mostly complained about being tired, lethargic and having insomnia. They said they had a little RLS, nausea and hot/cold sensations but no where near as bad as Oxy or H? So IDK??? Maybe the longer half life helps? I hope it's not bad!
Basically I am trying to read positive experiences though. I've run across a few that weren't....but mostly it was people who jumped from 8 mgs or 8+ mgs. Which I don't plan to do. Unless I'm forced to.
Happy Mother's Day Peanut! Don't work too hard! I agree about SR.
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Good morning & Happy Mother's Day Peanut & Clean,
I was on subs for 6mos ( suppose to be a yr., but I fired my subs doc lol. ) He prescribed 8mgs/day, but I only took 4mgs for the 1st 4mos & then 2mgs for the last 2mos. I actually stopped going to him in Dec., but had over 2mos supply left over, since I never took the 8mgs.
When I quit opiates, I also quit benzos ( 10yrs of both. ) So I was miserable for 4mos. It's hard to compare the 2 types of w/d, but they are different. I don't want to scare you hun, but there are going to be some w/d, even w/tapering...just not as severe as jumping. Because we still are expelling an addictive substance from our bodies. And it takes a bit of time for our bodies & minds to heal. I just wanted to prepare you, as you're the manager & may need a bit of time at 1st. It sounds like you have a great employee who understands what you're going through. Maybe she could pick up some extra hrs?
Quiting subs is tough, but nowhere near as tough as methadone or benzos.
I also agree about SR. I posted my story on another site & was banned for life because I talked about heroin. It never entered my mind that talking about it would be against the rules! How absurb!
We're here for you.
I was on subs for 6mos ( suppose to be a yr., but I fired my subs doc lol. ) He prescribed 8mgs/day, but I only took 4mgs for the 1st 4mos & then 2mgs for the last 2mos. I actually stopped going to him in Dec., but had over 2mos supply left over, since I never took the 8mgs.
When I quit opiates, I also quit benzos ( 10yrs of both. ) So I was miserable for 4mos. It's hard to compare the 2 types of w/d, but they are different. I don't want to scare you hun, but there are going to be some w/d, even w/tapering...just not as severe as jumping. Because we still are expelling an addictive substance from our bodies. And it takes a bit of time for our bodies & minds to heal. I just wanted to prepare you, as you're the manager & may need a bit of time at 1st. It sounds like you have a great employee who understands what you're going through. Maybe she could pick up some extra hrs?
Quiting subs is tough, but nowhere near as tough as methadone or benzos.
I also agree about SR. I posted my story on another site & was banned for life because I talked about heroin. It never entered my mind that talking about it would be against the rules! How absurb!
We're here for you.
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Well, it's done. Mothers Day. Wow....... hit the ground running.
But I took my 1 pill and got thru it.
Your post does kind of scare me kzaug but I know you're just trying to help. I just hope I can still manage to work if I need to. I think I have about 40-44 pills left and when I start halving them up, they will go pretty far. I want to go down to as low as a quarter a day, which is.5 a half mg. Then save enough to have a quarter every other day for awhile. I didn't do that with methadone and I think I should've.
Today was up and down. Super busy so I didn't have any time to dwell. First thing this morning,I get a text from my step daughter, which is only a token, get it out of the way thing, as we're not speaking at all. It's a long story but her father and I are tired of the bull ****.
I have a non existent relationship with my own mom and dreaded calling her all day. I finally get myself all prepared and dial the number. No answer. That NEVER happens. I left a message, told her I loved and that's that. I sent a card a few days ago too.
I'm thinking on my drive home that here I make floral arrangements all day long for moms everywhere and my own family in that department is shot. Oh well. I gotta focus on more positive.
I hope all moms had a great day tho!!
But I took my 1 pill and got thru it.
Your post does kind of scare me kzaug but I know you're just trying to help. I just hope I can still manage to work if I need to. I think I have about 40-44 pills left and when I start halving them up, they will go pretty far. I want to go down to as low as a quarter a day, which is.5 a half mg. Then save enough to have a quarter every other day for awhile. I didn't do that with methadone and I think I should've.
Today was up and down. Super busy so I didn't have any time to dwell. First thing this morning,I get a text from my step daughter, which is only a token, get it out of the way thing, as we're not speaking at all. It's a long story but her father and I are tired of the bull ****.
I have a non existent relationship with my own mom and dreaded calling her all day. I finally get myself all prepared and dial the number. No answer. That NEVER happens. I left a message, told her I loved and that's that. I sent a card a few days ago too.
I'm thinking on my drive home that here I make floral arrangements all day long for moms everywhere and my own family in that department is shot. Oh well. I gotta focus on more positive.
I hope all moms had a great day tho!!
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Peanut, I'm so sorry I scared you. I just want you to take a few days off....just in case. I'm am extreme lightweight when it comes to drugs. My tolerance has always been super low & I've often wondered if that had anything to do w/the extreme nature of my w/d's.
One thing I'm pretty certain of is that people that taper off suboxine fare much better than people that jump. So plz keep that in mind.
I too had a very complicated relationship with my mom. She was a prescription drug addict her entire life & passed away last yr.
I don't think anyone has a perfect relationship with their parents. I also think that many people pretend to the outside world that they do. We really have no idea what percentage of people sending flowers to their mothers really have wonderful relationships with them, do we? Just a thought.
One thing I'm pretty certain of is that people that taper off suboxine fare much better than people that jump. So plz keep that in mind.
I too had a very complicated relationship with my mom. She was a prescription drug addict her entire life & passed away last yr.
I don't think anyone has a perfect relationship with their parents. I also think that many people pretend to the outside world that they do. We really have no idea what percentage of people sending flowers to their mothers really have wonderful relationships with them, do we? Just a thought.
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I know you're not trying to scare me and I do REALLY appreciate the advice.
My mom never did call me back, which is odd. But that's okay.
I agree that I should have a bit of an easier time tapering first. It's never good to shock the system by abruptly stopping anything.
My mother is a super secretive person and I would often find bottles of mad dog or whiskey hidden in her bathroom. When I would ask her about it, she say, "what bottles", I would show her and they would be gone!! HHmmmm.
I'm pretty sure she also has a pill problem. She constantly counts her pills and hides them and will tell anyone who will listen how much she "hates" them. Isn't that classic behavior for an addict??
I ended up getting the day off today. I'm burnt and haven't had any time off since last September. So I'm off for the day. I'll be cruising around on this site.
Have a great day everyone!! =)
My mom never did call me back, which is odd. But that's okay.
I agree that I should have a bit of an easier time tapering first. It's never good to shock the system by abruptly stopping anything.
My mother is a super secretive person and I would often find bottles of mad dog or whiskey hidden in her bathroom. When I would ask her about it, she say, "what bottles", I would show her and they would be gone!! HHmmmm.
I'm pretty sure she also has a pill problem. She constantly counts her pills and hides them and will tell anyone who will listen how much she "hates" them. Isn't that classic behavior for an addict??
I ended up getting the day off today. I'm burnt and haven't had any time off since last September. So I'm off for the day. I'll be cruising around on this site.
Have a great day everyone!! =)
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I would say that's classic addict behavior Peanut. It takes one to know one. Ha!
But at least you and I aren't in denial about it. That's the sad thing about your Mom.
Since she doesn't believe she is...she won't make the necessary changes needed to change and get into recovery.
Now that I know what I know about your mom's addiction I'm worried about her! Is there anyone else you could call to go check on her? The sad thing about pill popping is that each time we take more than what was prescribed we are playing Russian roulette. Your mom could have taken an extra one...more than usual on Mother's Day. Just saying...maybe? It could happen? I know for a fact I was there many of times. Popping throughout the day and losing track. Taking extras on holidays?
But at least you and I aren't in denial about it. That's the sad thing about your Mom.
Since she doesn't believe she is...she won't make the necessary changes needed to change and get into recovery. Now that I know what I know about your mom's addiction I'm worried about her! Is there anyone else you could call to go check on her? The sad thing about pill popping is that each time we take more than what was prescribed we are playing Russian roulette. Your mom could have taken an extra one...more than usual on Mother's Day. Just saying...maybe? It could happen? I know for a fact I was there many of times. Popping throughout the day and losing track. Taking extras on holidays?
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