Off methadone 30 days
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Calhoun georgia
Posts: 28
Martin don't get mad at me here but if I were you Id just make a lil bonfire and pour it in burn the bottles....it helped me cuz I still had 300 or 400 mg liquid left when I quit CT the days I knew it was still there days 1-5 were theeee worst until my gf burnt it when I was at work 
but then again I had to take the rest of this week off cuz I honestly think it sent me into a depression knowing it was no longer there and I Was kicked from my clinic sad how hard a grip this nazi experiment of a drug can grasp onto us with BUT WE GON BEAT IT!!!
but then again I had to take the rest of this week off cuz I honestly think it sent me into a depression knowing it was no longer there and I Was kicked from my clinic sad how hard a grip this nazi experiment of a drug can grasp onto us with BUT WE GON BEAT IT!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Marvin - I understand your logic to a degree on why you want to keep them around. The one thing I would say about that is that you are already going to be facing a tough enough situation without intentionally adding to your stress. Kicking methadone is already like playing in the Superbowl of opi addiction. Do you really need to get the MVP at the Superbowl too? Having easy access to your DOC is only going to add to your mental anguish. I am not saying that having them around is absolutely going to lead to a problem, but is it really worth the risk to prove it to yourself? Personally, I think flushing them down the toilet or burning them in the fireplace would prove much more than keeping them around.
Also, I would say that one of the issues with maintaining easy access is that you may be completely fine with that today, but what if something unforeseen happens? What if life throws you a crazy curve ball that you could never have seen coming? If you reach a point down the road where you start to waver, having easy access may make the difference between using and not using.
This is just my 2 cents, but I would tread carefully with easy access like that.
Blacklok - it is great to hear that you got some sleep! You aren't going to get any judgments out of me so long as your doctor prescribed it and you are taking it per his/her instructions. I have taken benzos myself when trying to sleep through withdrawal, and the primary reason I am not a big fan is because they just didn't work for me. I would have to take dangerously high amounts to get put under, and it just wasn't worth the risk. Also, at those doses I was very concerned about catching a benzo habit quickly. I absolutely forbid myself from ever taking them more than one day in a row because of the high doses. Like you, I also did not find the feeling on benzos attractive. It would just make me feel fatigued and out of it so I wasn't as concerned with getting psychologically addicted, but I was deathly afraid of a quick physical dependence.
I am glad it worked for you though and you were able to get some sleep. So long as you are following your doc's instructions and treating them with respect it seems like an overall positive.
Also, I would say that one of the issues with maintaining easy access is that you may be completely fine with that today, but what if something unforeseen happens? What if life throws you a crazy curve ball that you could never have seen coming? If you reach a point down the road where you start to waver, having easy access may make the difference between using and not using.
This is just my 2 cents, but I would tread carefully with easy access like that.
Blacklok - it is great to hear that you got some sleep! You aren't going to get any judgments out of me so long as your doctor prescribed it and you are taking it per his/her instructions. I have taken benzos myself when trying to sleep through withdrawal, and the primary reason I am not a big fan is because they just didn't work for me. I would have to take dangerously high amounts to get put under, and it just wasn't worth the risk. Also, at those doses I was very concerned about catching a benzo habit quickly. I absolutely forbid myself from ever taking them more than one day in a row because of the high doses. Like you, I also did not find the feeling on benzos attractive. It would just make me feel fatigued and out of it so I wasn't as concerned with getting psychologically addicted, but I was deathly afraid of a quick physical dependence.
I am glad it worked for you though and you were able to get some sleep. So long as you are following your doc's instructions and treating them with respect it seems like an overall positive.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: washington state
Posts: 55
Day 34
Opiophobe, and Blacklok you guys made crystal clear sense. I said my goodbyes, and poured bleach in the bottle. I believe it contained around 200 pills. Just so you know they acted like they were alive, they moved and expanded until they spilled over the bottle. That was very creepy. I didn't think that I would have the variety of emotions that I had. Great sadness, anger at myself, anger at the pills. But no joy. I just did it and I am still working out the feelings that I am having. Thank you guys for talking me into doing that. That drug sucks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Marvin - I love it! I am SO proud of you. I guess we can add bleaching pills to our list of things that kill them. That is much more creative than I was. At least they had an agonizing slow death. We now know that they gave be successfully flushed, burned in the fireplace or bleached. These methods work.
I felt some sadness too when I flushed my last bit of dope. It was symbolic because I knew I was "all in" at that point. I could have called and got more I guess, but what is the point on spending money on something when I just flushed some down the toilet? At that point I felt grief and sadness. I didn't feel any joy, but I had to do it to let it go. Even looking back on it now, I still don't know if I feel joy over it, but it was definitely something I had to do.
I think you took a huge step today, and the gravity of it may not be clear until weeks or months down the road. It is very, very tough to get rid of a backup stash, period. What were those 200 pills going to do for you anyway? The only thing they would have brought you was additional misery. They might was well have been Anthrax pills, because that is about how useful they would have been.
I felt some sadness too when I flushed my last bit of dope. It was symbolic because I knew I was "all in" at that point. I could have called and got more I guess, but what is the point on spending money on something when I just flushed some down the toilet? At that point I felt grief and sadness. I didn't feel any joy, but I had to do it to let it go. Even looking back on it now, I still don't know if I feel joy over it, but it was definitely something I had to do.
I think you took a huge step today, and the gravity of it may not be clear until weeks or months down the road. It is very, very tough to get rid of a backup stash, period. What were those 200 pills going to do for you anyway? The only thing they would have brought you was additional misery. They might was well have been Anthrax pills, because that is about how useful they would have been.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Calhoun georgia
Posts: 28
Guysgals, I wanted to share an experience I had late last night (day 11)Last night my gf build a fire in the firepit our home overlooks a lake...last couple years she always used to ask me to come outside and listen w/her but I was always too doned out on the couch she'd havta sit out there by herself. Well last night when she asked for me to come out ...I did it!! And the nightime sounds of that lake, the drug recovery songs we listened to and her happiness caused my emotions to run wild!! I haven't felt this way in so long!! Every thing looks different, sounds different, smells different, tastes different anyone else go through this? ! I even plan on going back to work tomorrow night ain't no sense in mopping personally I think that's why I got in such a dark spot days 4 thru 8 newayz thank yall so so much for telling me to hang In there if someone new DOES happen to read this HANG IN THERE! !! I didn't believe these guys but a couple weeks and it DID gget better I'm living proof. Have a nice rest of wknd all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: washington state
Posts: 55
Day 35
I don't feel as many emotions as I did yesterday, mostly anger at myself. A pill can still make me feel anything after a month is just crazy.
Blackpool, good job on filling your senses. That is the way to do it bud. My olfactory perceptions are still in overdrive. I don't know how long that last. They say they are waking up. However what I smell stinks like hell. That is getting better. One way that has been helping is eating extremely spicy things. Your brain will releases endorphins, always make me feel good.
Blackpool, good job on filling your senses. That is the way to do it bud. My olfactory perceptions are still in overdrive. I don't know how long that last. They say they are waking up. However what I smell stinks like hell. That is getting better. One way that has been helping is eating extremely spicy things. Your brain will releases endorphins, always make me feel good.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Calhoun georgia
Posts: 28
Energy at all time low all the sudden...work tomorrow which I will force myself through if I havta I ain't losing my home/car/stability. ...any suggestions for energy I've tried bananas and OJ. ..multivitamin. .l tyrosine. ..b vitamins...ugh this sux!! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Blacklok - Somehow I missed your post last night. I hope you are feeling better this morning. Also, for some reason I thought you had more time before needed to report back to work. As far as the fatigue in early withdrawal goes I have tried everything from diet to amphetamines. The amphetamines were the worst because they caused my bp to shoot up. Also, they defeated the point of getting clean from dope if I was just going to start taking amphetamines every day. As far as the diet goes, I found that frequency of meals was as important as what I was eating. When I started getting fatigued I would notice that a lot of times it was because I hadn't eaten in a while. Eating smaller meals more frequently throughout the day helped some. Also, I would avoid high sugar / high salt foods. Sugary foods would make the fatigue terrible once the sugar wore off. Salty foods would cause my bp to go higher, which would increase the nervous energy (I would generally feel 'amped up' when my bp was high). However, I didn't get any relief from the fatigue from the nervous energy.
Coffee was one thing that helped me a lot with the fatigue. For whatever reason, anxiety wasn't a particularly bad symptom for me so I felt OK drinking as much coffee as I needed to. For others, I think it gives them bad anxiety. Cigarettes were the other stimulant that would help me get through the fatigue. Not to give medical advice, but I think it is a safe assumption that drinking coffee ALL day and chain smoking is not good for you. I would get palpitations bad during the process, but I would eventually get rid of the mental fatigue. When the coffee wore off I either had to grab another cup of it or I would crash and have worse fatigue.
However, I didn't have to work a physical job so I was less concerned with dealing with the physical fatigue. Exercising would help with the fatigue in general (both mental and physical). Going to work at your job may actually help with the fatigue, because it will be a way to get your exercise. You would have the best handle on that, because I don't know ho physical your job is. If it is heavy, manual labor it may just be too much right now.
Marvin - don't be too hard on yourself. What you were able to do is something to be proud of. I have yet to meet any addict who was able to flush/burn/bleach their DOC without batting an eye. The important thing is that you were able to go through with it. IMHO, the fact that it was hard for you or something that evoked strong emotions shouldn't be something to be angry about. It just shows that you overcame a more difficult obstacle.
The short movie that folks sent the link around to the other day (called the Butterfly Circus) had a great quote about that: "The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."
Last night I remembered an inspirational experience that I thought I would share with you. It may be something to keep in mind on the rough days.
One morning in NYC I was kicking pretty hard and trying to get to the office. It was pouring rain and I felt like complete garbage. It was an effort just to stand in one place and walking a block felt like running a marathon. Naturally, it was completely impossible to get a cab during the downpour so I start hiking to the 6 train. The whole time I am feeling sorry for myself, telling myself how bad the rain sucks, that God must have made it pour down on that day just to make me miserable, blah, blah, blah. I am dreading the upcoming battle with the crowds trying to get on the trains. I was even dreading a battle making it down the steps just to get to the platform.
So while I am walking and feeling so sorry for myself I here a clicking sound and a blind girl with a raincoat on flies past me. She is beastin' it (I borrowed that quote from Tired) through the downpour. She is zipping back and forth between people, and she is honestly moving faster than anyone else on the street. Then I see her completely own the steps heading down to the platform and she pushed her way onto the train and got a spot. Normally, even in NYC people will give a blind person the right away, but all of those nice manners go out the window when a train is late and people want to get to work.
So after watching all of this I realized that any of my problems really weren't that bad. It put it in perspective to see someone with a permanent disability like that wade through a situation that had me almost to my knees. I was still sick that day, but I had a pep in my step that I hadn't felt off drugs in a long, long time.
Coffee was one thing that helped me a lot with the fatigue. For whatever reason, anxiety wasn't a particularly bad symptom for me so I felt OK drinking as much coffee as I needed to. For others, I think it gives them bad anxiety. Cigarettes were the other stimulant that would help me get through the fatigue. Not to give medical advice, but I think it is a safe assumption that drinking coffee ALL day and chain smoking is not good for you. I would get palpitations bad during the process, but I would eventually get rid of the mental fatigue. When the coffee wore off I either had to grab another cup of it or I would crash and have worse fatigue.
However, I didn't have to work a physical job so I was less concerned with dealing with the physical fatigue. Exercising would help with the fatigue in general (both mental and physical). Going to work at your job may actually help with the fatigue, because it will be a way to get your exercise. You would have the best handle on that, because I don't know ho physical your job is. If it is heavy, manual labor it may just be too much right now.
Marvin - don't be too hard on yourself. What you were able to do is something to be proud of. I have yet to meet any addict who was able to flush/burn/bleach their DOC without batting an eye. The important thing is that you were able to go through with it. IMHO, the fact that it was hard for you or something that evoked strong emotions shouldn't be something to be angry about. It just shows that you overcame a more difficult obstacle.
The short movie that folks sent the link around to the other day (called the Butterfly Circus) had a great quote about that: "The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."
Last night I remembered an inspirational experience that I thought I would share with you. It may be something to keep in mind on the rough days.
One morning in NYC I was kicking pretty hard and trying to get to the office. It was pouring rain and I felt like complete garbage. It was an effort just to stand in one place and walking a block felt like running a marathon. Naturally, it was completely impossible to get a cab during the downpour so I start hiking to the 6 train. The whole time I am feeling sorry for myself, telling myself how bad the rain sucks, that God must have made it pour down on that day just to make me miserable, blah, blah, blah. I am dreading the upcoming battle with the crowds trying to get on the trains. I was even dreading a battle making it down the steps just to get to the platform.
So while I am walking and feeling so sorry for myself I here a clicking sound and a blind girl with a raincoat on flies past me. She is beastin' it (I borrowed that quote from Tired) through the downpour. She is zipping back and forth between people, and she is honestly moving faster than anyone else on the street. Then I see her completely own the steps heading down to the platform and she pushed her way onto the train and got a spot. Normally, even in NYC people will give a blind person the right away, but all of those nice manners go out the window when a train is late and people want to get to work.
So after watching all of this I realized that any of my problems really weren't that bad. It put it in perspective to see someone with a permanent disability like that wade through a situation that had me almost to my knees. I was still sick that day, but I had a pep in my step that I hadn't felt off drugs in a long, long time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,375
Marvin, you are a hoot! Pouring bleach in a bottle was the best way of ditching dope I've heard yet. I think you are in the running for WD Superbowl MVP.
Blacklok, that's solid you went out there. I felt some wicked pride for you when I read that.
Opio, you've got an excellent insight into what's important. Your posts have some heavy, wise stuff that will do people a world of good if they listen.
. I think you are in the running for WD Superbowl MVP.Blacklok, that's solid you went out there. I felt some wicked pride for you when I read that.
Opio, you've got an excellent insight into what's important. Your posts have some heavy, wise stuff that will do people a world of good if they listen.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: washington state
Posts: 55
day 36
Thanks every one for your help with this process. I was still in a funk over dumping my last stash. The variety of emotions were amazing. Then I got involved in a stressful situation and it dragged me down further. I am recovering from that, it will take a couple of days. It amazes me to think that my body and mind can be so fragile during this process. It makes me double my resolve to beat this poison. I know that I am stronger than a drug. I still amazes me every day is so different in a variety of ways. I know in my heart that I will be a stronger person in the end of this.
Blacklok. Hang in there dude, I am so amazed that you are going to work. Your strength, mentally and physically blows me away. You have got this recovery stuff on the run.
Blacklok. Hang in there dude, I am so amazed that you are going to work. Your strength, mentally and physically blows me away. You have got this recovery stuff on the run.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Calhoun georgia
Posts: 28
Here at work guys I normally work 3pm to 11pm mon thru fri....BUT I suppose this is a test as I was thrown on 12 hour night shifts 7pm to 7am for 2 days then turn around come back 8 hours later at 3pm Wednesday back to regular 3 to 11 rest of week! !! Then next week 12 hours dayshift! !! 7am to 7pm...easter wknd can't come soon enough!!!! And I know this sounds crazy being day 12...well 13 now...but I'm actually pushing my body to the limit here feet are in agony but I have some sorta spirit I cannot explain that's keeping me going although I'm pretty darn sure it's the fact that I don't want my life ruled anymore by a pathetic addictive crutch of a drug thanks again everyone for the inspiration!! Oh and btw since we're in a super bowl here and I'm working I think I should at LEASE be the running back here...
thanks again everyone for the inspiration!! Oh and btw since we're in a super bowl here and I'm working I think I should at LEASE be the running back here...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Calhoun georgia
Posts: 28
Day 13.....worked 12 hours last night this a.m. I was EXHAUSTED! ! I know that'll get better with time or heck maybe this is what a full day at work feels like? ! I may have forgotten since I was numb for 8 years...either way I'm incredibly excited cuz I fell fast asleep for 6 whole hours with NOTHING!! No ativan to sleep for the 1st time since I quit methadone all i needed was a hard days work and poof droolin like a baby! It does get better folks! !!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Blacklok - if you are going to be a running back I think you are fit for full back so you can pancake some middle LBs. Although tail back may be more of your cup of tea if you are looking for glory off the field. Maybe Marvin and Ididit can duke it out for QB.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a spirit is in you. At some point the satisfaction of knowing that this time is going to be different takes over. I think we all have more inner strength than we give ourselves credit for. In life, we rarely push ourselves beyond the limits of what we thought was possible. When we push hard enough - anything is possible.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a spirit is in you. At some point the satisfaction of knowing that this time is going to be different takes over. I think we all have more inner strength than we give ourselves credit for. In life, we rarely push ourselves beyond the limits of what we thought was possible. When we push hard enough - anything is possible.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Pineville, La.
Posts: 11
Hello,
I was a user of Methadone for almost ten years. At one point I was up to 120 milligrams a day. Sometimes I would take double that dose when I got my weekly take-home from the methadone clinic. I enjoyed the feeling of being insulated by methadone and the energy it gave me, but eventually I developed a tolerance and turned to other drugs such as meth and crack cocaine. Three months ago I landed in treatment for the first time where they detoxed me from drugs and alcohol with librium. I have now been clean over ninety days.
I sleep well at night, no longer have aches and pains or restless leg syndrome-which was awful, but I have trouble dealing with boredom and restlessness and a general feeling of being discontent. It's not quite depression, but close. I have an appointment to see a psychiatrist to see if I need medication for a previous diagnosis of bipolar disorder but I'm not sure I really need medication. I'll leave that to the professionals.
I also attend NA meetings almost daily and am involved in step work and have a sponsor. I hold down a part time job and am looking for more work. I do not have nearly enough social contacts and often feel lonely and unsatisfied. I do not have a car so I am dependent on others to get where I need to go and it sucks.
I am clean and sober, however, and am no longer a slave to the methadone clinic or to any substance. It took me two months to approach anything feeling normal, and the full ninety days to stop wanting to use all the time.
It can be done.
c
I was a user of Methadone for almost ten years. At one point I was up to 120 milligrams a day. Sometimes I would take double that dose when I got my weekly take-home from the methadone clinic. I enjoyed the feeling of being insulated by methadone and the energy it gave me, but eventually I developed a tolerance and turned to other drugs such as meth and crack cocaine. Three months ago I landed in treatment for the first time where they detoxed me from drugs and alcohol with librium. I have now been clean over ninety days.
I sleep well at night, no longer have aches and pains or restless leg syndrome-which was awful, but I have trouble dealing with boredom and restlessness and a general feeling of being discontent. It's not quite depression, but close. I have an appointment to see a psychiatrist to see if I need medication for a previous diagnosis of bipolar disorder but I'm not sure I really need medication. I'll leave that to the professionals.
I also attend NA meetings almost daily and am involved in step work and have a sponsor. I hold down a part time job and am looking for more work. I do not have nearly enough social contacts and often feel lonely and unsatisfied. I do not have a car so I am dependent on others to get where I need to go and it sucks.
I am clean and sober, however, and am no longer a slave to the methadone clinic or to any substance. It took me two months to approach anything feeling normal, and the full ninety days to stop wanting to use all the time.
It can be done.
c
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Calhoun georgia
Posts: 28
Yes it can be done!! I'm doing it right now...This is my 1st time clean in 8 years of opiate/methadone. .and lemme tell ya ill NEVER put myself thru this again! 2 weeks clean in the a.m. yall I feel like HELL when im at work! yes I'm working an extreme physical job 50 to 60 hours a week first 10 days I could not work I just wanted to lay in a bathtub. ..but by the grace of God and my gf and my best friends, family, coworkers my important job....even tho 90% of those dkn about what I'm going thru I'd still be letting em down if I went back ...so ya...you can lay there and not do anything while withdrawal I kinda wish I was still in that hot bath to be perfectly honest BUT I'm a selfless person....and I was selfish for too long...dkn what came over me methadone had its claws in deep! My advice screw methadone. ..The mind is a powerful thing and ALL of us got it in us deep down to beat it
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: washington state
Posts: 55
Day 38
Blacklok, you continue to amaze me every time I read your posts. You are the man for sure, if what you are doing does not inspire people I can't imagine what will. I am so proud of you, keep up the fight.
Charcole, good job on staying off the poison. I cannot wait to say that. It must feel great. I was at 120 for 15 years, however I was using that drug as pain control. I still have symptoms but they are getting better. I actually got my hair cut today and that even hurt. At least I don't look like an animal. Today is turning out to be the best day so far. Way to go on 90 days.
To the rest of the flock or should I say my family. I hope every one is hanging in there. My prayers are with you all, I keep you guys in my thoughts every day.
Charcole, good job on staying off the poison. I cannot wait to say that. It must feel great. I was at 120 for 15 years, however I was using that drug as pain control. I still have symptoms but they are getting better. I actually got my hair cut today and that even hurt. At least I don't look like an animal. Today is turning out to be the best day so far. Way to go on 90 days.
To the rest of the flock or should I say my family. I hope every one is hanging in there. My prayers are with you all, I keep you guys in my thoughts every day.
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