TiredEnough

Coming up on 17 days, Marvin! 30 days is just around the corner and you can kick in the afterburners

OpioPhobe

Glad to hear everyone is doing well and sticking with it.

Marvin - don't let the PAWS freak you out. It is important to have an idea of what lies ahead, but you can also stress out about it and make symptoms appear. I don't have any idea what methadone PAWS are like compared to the acute phase, but I can tell you that with H the PAWS are very minor compared to the acute phase. They do last a long time, but I would rather go through weeks and weeks of PAWS before I would want to repeat another Day 3 or 4. I am 40 days out today and I already feel much better than when I was using even though I am still in the thick of PAWS. You are going through the really tough part right now and it will get much better over time. By the way, playing the guitar is great. That will help occupy your mind with something you enjoy.

IDidIt - For the panic attacks have you tried exercising? When I had extra nervous energy like that I could only make it go away by pounding the pavement.

marvin59

Thank you guys so much, it was true last night I was freaking out. After reading what you wrote, it gave me time to think it through better. I feel that I was a dependent as compared to an addict, that it might be easier for me because I didn't have a strong psychological addiction. But still I realize bad things will be lurking close. I just need to be aware of them. I am stronger than the pills. Thank God there is this forum with people such as yourselves. Still going to get a tattoo of my quit date, I don't want to forget.

TiredEnough

How are you doing, Marvin?

marvin59

I am well I think, thanks for asking. I have been getting six hours of sleep each night. It's amazing how sick I was as compared to now. I was looking at my calendar and my jump off was on the second day of the month. That makes this my 24th day. I lost the first week in my memory, that is how sick I was. I am pleased that I have made it this long. I still must motivate myself, and I made an outing to the grocery store. I drove and made it through the store. However the smells that continue to be my companion, was in over drive in the store. Sensory over load. I hope you are doing well.

TiredEnough

Man, I'm glad to hear it, Marvin. That made me remember the days of walking to the mailbox. It was about 1/8 of a mile and I started walking it once, then twice a day. Just about killed me but I kept doing it. I was proud the day I drove into town and went to the store. You're going to be alright.

Ididit

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't checked in for a few days, I've been really busy. My sister in law gave birth, so I have been in and out of the hospital for the past couple days.

Opiophobe - thank you so much for your advice and concern. I do work out on a daily basis, and I find that it really does help with the panic and anxiety attacks that come my way... Thankfully majority of the anxiety and depression have subsided due to the abstinence based program that I am attending daily at my local hospital. I do not know what I would do without treatment. It provides me with the tools I need in order to recover, one day at a time slowly but surely.

Marvin - how are you holding up darling? I'm so glad you've made it this far and took an outing to the grocery store. Did you feel better afterwards? How is your overall mood lately? Are you keeping yourself busy?? Your almost at 1 month! Wow!!!! I can tell you, it gets so much better. I'm now at 51 days and I feel on top of the world. Every bit of suffering was worth it.

marvin59

Sounds like you have plenty of good distraction, congratulations to your sister in law. I have been hanging in there. My trip to the store was a trip......I felt that it was surreal, the smells from the people and foods was an experience that I almost wasn't ready for. The lighting made me feel like looking into the sun. All of the experiences were needed!!!!!! It felt so wonderful to drive, it made me concentrate on the traffic, I listened to music which allways makes me feel better. I don't know if you read earlier that I had made a error on my quit date, I quit on the 2nd. So now it is my pleasure to say that it is now my 25th day of my new life. I lost the first week don't know where it went and I am pretty sure that really don't want to remember. EVERYONE was correct on how this experience would progress. My mind is waking up more every day. I still have not taken my first breath but it is very close. I do feel better every day. Thanks to everyone I owe you all. I wish that all are feeling well.

Ididit

WOW
WOW
WOW.
I'm sorry but I am overwhelmed with emotion so I must express myself. WOW 25 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes. That is incredible. WOW MARVIN! You definitely deserve it. You are so strong. I love that you forced yourself to go out to the grocery store, and listen to some music. It makes you feel good doesn't it? Going out, forcing your brain to focus on something else other than your thoughts and emotions. That is fantastic, Marvin! I wish I can say my smell came back but it didn't, maybe because I smoke cigarettes still. I was smoking a pack a day, now I'm up to 4 smokes a day at the maximum. Did you loose weight when you stopped taking methadone? I'm curious because I lost so much weight when I stopped, it feels so nice to have my old body back. I love it. I actually feel confident now.
Wow!! 25 days. 5 more to go until you hit the big 30... I'm rooting for you all the way marv!

marvin59

Howdy all. Just checking in my friends and pray life is well. Ididit, I too smoke cigs, bad habit. When you said that lost weight I was glad to hear someone lost some weight. Throughout this process I was craving sweets almost like a substitute for methadone. I ate every sweet thing in sight, and with the lack exercise I gained about 10 pounds. That is ok, I will drop them because I am going to force myself to walk every day. I know that my body needs that. Rain or shine I will be walking every day no matter the rain or my attitude. I wonder at times hat my life will be like six months from now. I can hardly wait to see what type of person comes out on the other side. Life for me looks good today, I still have days of melancholy thoughts at times, and I have had craving for my ex-drug. Things in life often start out messy but develop into order.

TiredEnough

Man, that's solid, Marvin. 26 days and you are getting better and better! I think you are going to like what you see 6 months from now. The freedom is delicious

Blacklok

I've gotta chime in here post is a few days old wonder how everyone's doing!? I'm new to this forum/group thing but no stranger to the hell of opiate addiction. 8 years ago I started taking hydrocodone for severe kidney stones eventually led to oxy and a NASTY habit of combining them at high levels for 3 years until I decided I wanted to recover and joined methadone in late 2008 yeah....5 almost 6 years ago! That was however my 1st step in this long process of recovery methadone was a good choice for me in the way I have a physically demanding job and it was cheaper than my pill habit even allowed me to get on my feet and buy a home on a lake!! Which I'm only now realizing how amazing it is cuz I'm JUST now getting clean ...day 4 for me guys I'm hurting but I'm gonna keep up the good spirits and make it thru this! ! I NEVER in a million years thought I'd become addicted to drugs I was so smart in high school and my early 20s and ONLY ever used marijuana..I agree with whomever posted above that it's amazing what these chemicals can do to us !! I just wanna go on record and say yes the withdrawal sucks it does BAD..but does anyone else agree with me here in my opinion that the fear of withdrawal is the MAIN thing to overcome and probably what keeps ALOT of addicts using?!?! Was for me anyways I can totally beat this it'll be so worth the extra $500 a month nearly and seeing my gf/friends/family proud of me! With this being said good luck to anyone who reads this hope it give you inspiration cuz YOU CAN DO THIS!! I'll leave yall with a list of things that are helping me through this: 1. Vitamins/healthy eating drinking 2. Music/movies/tv/video games 3. My gf./best friend/sober support groups 4.light marijuana use I have to mention I haven't smoked in 8 years since starting opis and don't plan to do so afterwards BUT I don't have access to benzos I've heard these help as well just dkn nothing about em 5.high blood pressure med of some sort heard clonidine works best but I'm using lotensin bcuz I'm prescribed this for hbp 6. Prayer and faith THE MOST helpful thing for me during this I've prayed and prayed and honestly believe they've been answered! !

marvin59

Best decision you could have made. I was at 120mg per day under a pain clinic order. I was a dependent and it was scary as hell decision for me to quit. I have been off now 28 days. Now I can speak form experience that symptoms will get better. I think this forum was for me the best form of thearapy on the planet. The people here was where I got strength to continue. My thoughts will be with you. If I can do you can my friend.

Ididit

Hey everyone!!!
55 days off the poison today!

Marvin- how's it going darling??? I too am like you, craving the sweets but this only started recently. It is as if my addictive qualities are still present ... Always craving sweets to get that dopamine flowing in my brain. But hey, I'd rather be eating sweets than on methadone! I love your motivation to get some exercise. Exercise is SO incredibly important during recovery. It heals you mentally and emotionally, relieves extreme stress and anxiety and calms me down. How is your sleep?? Congrats on 28 days my friend! Have you taken the deep breath of sober air yet? I'm rooting for you Marvin I really am. Your story is an inspiration to others trying to quit the junk. You are an inspiration and holding so strong and it is highly admirable. Have you been exercising? How is your mood overall??

Blacklok- welcome to the forum darling! Here you will find a lot of supportive people going through exactly what you are going through. Firstly, you are not alone. We are right here for you. Secondly, congratulations on making it 4 days! What a beautiful start to a beautiful recovery. I am glad you made the decision to get off the poison. I love how you mention that you are in good spirits. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be positive and stay focused. You strike me as a highly determined and motivated individual. So hats off to you taking the first step toward recovery by getting off the poison and joining the family here at sober recovery. How are your psychical symptoms? Hot baths and eating properly will help you along with protein shakes and clonidine. And if you have any access to anti anxiety pills that will help too. Right now the psychical is what will be bothering you, and later will be the mental part but let's take it one day at a time. How are you feeling today? Bear with is here and keep in touch as much as you can. You've made the right decision and I can promise you in the end it will all be worth it. Hang in there sweetheart. Glad to hear you have a great support system. Update us on how your feeling and once again congratulations!!!!! You can do this!!

TiredEnough

I just want to say you folks are what this place is all about. Fighting hard and winning it one day at a time.

OpioPhobe

Blacklok - welcome. I think you are absolutely right about FEAR of withdrawal being the first thing to overcome. It wasn't until I stopped caring about how sick I was going to get that the sickness became bearable. There really isn't any way around the sickness, but others have done it so you can too. A positive attitude that you are going to get through it no matter what is essential in my opinion. Half assing it gets people crushed. You can do it!

Ididit - congrats on 55 days. I bet it is light years better than day 5, right? I wouldn't want to support addiction in any form, but if you end up catching a chocolate habit coming of the done I still think you are ahead in the game!

Marvin - 28 days is awesome. It is only going to get better! In some ways early withdrawal can be helpful mentally because you know that tomorrow, next week, and/or next month are going to be better. Think about it. How many people can say with any degree of certainty that the future is going to be better than the present? Sure, life can always throw you a curve ball, but setting that aside thing are only going to be better and happier.

TiredEnough

Opio, that's solid thinking. I never thought of it like that but your advice to Marvin is awesome.

marvin59

Ididit---I have been ok but I think something bad happened yesterday, I got quite a bit of sleep which was really nice. However when I woke up, it felt like I was fully back to perhaps my second week. It was horrible and it lasted all day. I guess that is the ebb and flow thing. I feel more like my self today and I will continue on and try not to dwell on the past. It took me about two hours just to work up the motivation to go on my walk, but I did it. Sleeping is getting a little better with the exception of last night, it is coming back.

OpioPhobe---You are so right about life throwing you a curve ball.. I did not expect yesterday to be as intense as it was I thought that would not happen to me. Now that I have a time to process what happened. It shows me just how strong that methadone is. I for some reason thought this would be a fairly lineal process. I will look at as a bump in the road. I feel like my body is back on track today.

Tomorrow will be 30 days, thanks to everyone here. Thank all of you so very much.

OpioPhobe

Marvin - sorry you had a tough day. I think you have the right mindset to look at it as a bump in the road. It might not be a perfectly linear process, but you are still heading in the right direction - i.e. further in time away from your last dose. In fact, I don't think it necessarily is a linear process anyway under the best conditions. It is more like some type of a 1/x function, where x is time and 1/x is pain. Maybe pain is closer to 1/x plus/minus some decaying random variable, but the point is that once you increase x to a certain point you get a big fat zero. I'm sure you'll get that being a chemistry guy.

Blacklok

Ok guys day 6 and I'm honestly wondering if I can make it through this? I had such high hopes in the beginning bcuz I didn't know it'd take 4 or 5 days to hit I felt bad day 3 and 4 but this is the worst! ! I can't afford to take much time off work if I'm lucky the rest of this week I've toughed thru a 12 hour work day on day 4 which I thought would never end!! My job is so physical and my gf needs me to quit this drug for us financially as well as I WANT to stay clean for myself. So I guess my questions is seeing as I've gotten outta work this week how long before I sleep more than 1 hour again? And will I be able to work again day 10 or 12? Thanks for your replies and support