lessgravity

Ha love it, excellent.

I was totally going to go tonight, and be there for the beginning, watching people get drunk, leave as soon as I felt bored.

I'm looking forward to my first time out with a bunch of drunks (of course only on a night I felt my AV was just a whimpering fool and not on a day I was have actual trouble disassociating).

Speaking of pretty people - how much better do we look when we don't drink? Jesus. Clear eyes, non-blotchy skin, everything.

freshstart57

There is also that glow, inner peace and confidence that comes from being a badass. I think you just might need a special hat.

Received

Oh yeah. Totally badass inside and out. Seriously!

Nonsensical

Ouch. Very ouch.

soberlicious

A party with the "beautiful people" reminded me of the late 70s/early 80s...Village People style...

cascademn

I remember we sang "YMCA" in our grade school choir. Oh, the irony. The VP. So ahead of their time. So misunderstood.

ivehadenoughnow

I agree with you on this one. I don't think it makes your resolve to quit forever any less powerful, by deciding not to go to a party like that. I think it makes sense. AV is still battling us and has some serious influence and skills. Why taunt it and give it an opportunity to coerce us? It doesn't mean we are half deciding not to drink by making the decision not to attend. It doesn't mean that we haven't committed ourselves to never drinking again. I think it means we are doing both. We commit to never drinking again, and we also make intelligent decisions to not empower our AV in situations like this. I think a party with hot people and and free booze would be like injecting our AV with steroids. Thoughts?

lessgravity

There used to be a member on this site, Terminally Unique, who got to the point where he would actually take a glass of booze and sniff it, take it all in - just to torture the Beast. Obviously he had reached a level of sobreity/disassociation from his AV that he was able to play a "shifting" game with it like that. I can't imagine recommending that to the newly sober.

That said, I feel like being able to attend a drunken office party, where I am the one in control, sober, watching my colleagues make fools/enjoy themselves, is where I would like to get in my sobriety.

I hear you on pumping you AV up on steroids by giving it the access to a free booze/pretty people party. But at the same time, being able to then shut its a** down and say F you, I'm good, I don't drink, let's just hang out and flirt -that sounds like mastery to me.

Nonsensical

Not for me, but I was an asocial drinker. I never liked the thought of losing control in public, so I rarely drank to excess at parties or bars.

Now, leaving me home alone for a night with a bottle of bourbon would push my AV into hyperdrive. I'd like to avoid being tested like that for a while. Let's get that beast into a coma first.

soberlicious

You already know my thoughts on this. The only thing that can make my Beast "bigger" is to not recognize and separate from it. Hot people and free booze have no more to do with me drinking than do bad days, or good days, or weekends, or funerals or weddings or loss of a job or a promotion or a bar or isolating at home or....

As I said I'm not suggesting anyone do anything. I'm simply saying that the idea that a situation can make me drink is AV.

Ps sidenote lots of hot people dont drink

Nonsensical

As I understand it, you are 7 years sober. Did you operate the same way when you were 7 days sober?

Received

Hey Non!

You know, that's a good question. I only drank at home, alone. My dirty little secret. Now, since I am now permanently abstinent, your question got me thinking. Should I have stayed away from my home and being alone when I made my BP just to be on the safe side?

I dunno. I kind of see both sides of this coin.

soberlicious

Well, technically I was still in the psyche ward at 7 days, so my options for parties full of hot people were significantly limited. We tried though...hiked my hospital gown up a little and combed out my hair once they took the restraints off.

To answer your question, once the switched flipped, nothing could switch it back. When I got home, I immediately went back to the things I enjoyed...live music, dancing, friends over, friends out, met a guy on a Harley at a stop light and began dating him (lasted a year, not bad right?)... To be honest, the knowledge that I was completely done and it was OVER for good gave me a sense of freedom I had never known. Not only did I go to parties, I was usually the life of the party. It was not something I built up to...my life no longer involved alcohol or drugs. Period. No matter what. No f*cking matter what. For the record, the times my AV became the loudest or craftiest were not in times of extroversion....quite the opposite for me. So as I said before "know thyself...or more aptly, know thy AV" and know it well. Some things I simply grew bored of over the years...obnoxious drunks, no thanks. But I like having fun and I enjoy social situations, a great deal don't involve alcohol at all, but sometimes people are drinking. That's got zero to do with me.

Again...let me be clear. I am NOT saying this is the way to be, or this is "right" or this is what everyone "should" do...I'm simply sharing my experience. Obviously if one is not able to identify and separate then I would advise reading RR again and again, forgoing parties and everything else.

Received

AHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Oh sweet mercy. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

If you could only see the visuals running through my mind.

Ahem. Carry on.

Nonsensical

I avoid my home when no one else is in it. I don't intend for that to always be the case, but every time I have started drinking since last February were at times when I was home alone. I can aim a loaded gun at my head because I know I won't pull the trigger, but why?

ivehadenoughnow

Wow, incredibly instructive conversation. I guess there are options here, but I see your point. Take a bath in wine, just don't drink it. Wash my hair with wine, but no matter, still not gonna drink it. Go to a party and carry a glass around but don't drink it. That is mastering the beast. I think initially the beast is still feared, but each time you give it the smack down you increase your level of control on the little *******.

ivehadenoughnow

By the way I don't intend to do any of those things, but I can see how the concept more clearly.

lessgravity

Previous-


Yes exactly the same for me. Though, in a way, I can't wait to do those things. F the Beast.

soberlicious

Oh good, because I'm pretty sure wine would leave your hair dry and dull, lacking volume and shine.

Lmao received...not a big surprise that I was all "lets get this party started woot woot" in the psych ward huh?

soberlicious

Non, I would not recommend the loaded gun experiment because a gun can actually misfire through no fault of your own. A bottle of alcohol is not going to spontaneous pin me down and pour itself down my throat.