Bamboozle

Wow, I just went for a stroll through the "new posts park". I'm flabbergasted...I really want to reply to a few, but I know for sure that it's an exercise in futility, so I will refrain.


I love it how so many people are doing their best to invalidate other SR members' concerns and opinions.

Foolish me for speaking up for myself…I think I’ve fed the monster.

kurtrambis

AA = Automobile Association, its breakdown service for cars in the UK or do you mean the one that cures people of alcoholism apart from the constitutionally incapable liar types.

I've had few nightmares about AA, one involved people in AA including my friends chucking the big book at me and chanting "do the program or die."

Yeah I admit of recently I'm obsessed with AA in need to chill more.

BUT its too late the men white jackets have arrived to take me away. LOL!

LosingmyMisery

Do you really believe this? I don't believe that for a second. I'm sorry, but your imagination is really working over time. I think people are working on trying to bridge the gap between one another. Read it again and try to remove yourself from the equation. Maybe you will be able to get something out of what is being said. I honestly think that you have closed yourself off and are doing yourself more harm by not trying to see both sides of the issues.

Katie09

If I might, and I know your post isn't directed at me, but as an outside observer, it is somewhat invalidating to tell another person that such and such is in their imagination.

It does remind me of what my mother used to do to me...oh, you really don't feel that way, etc, when YES, I really did feel that way.

Anyway, I just wanted to interject this.

windysan

In Canada they call it Eh Eh.

LosingmyMisery

Well, Katie, I wasn't talking about feelings, I was talking about words posted and personal opinions, but thanks for your interjection. Personally, I think you may have missed my point.

Often times when I was angry, I could work myself into every post I read. I truly believed that a particular comment was directed toward me when it really wasn't. I took everything personal and it created a lot of unnecessary grief and anger. I now realize that wasn't the case at all. I think the same situation may be what is contributing to some of the anger that has been directed here on the forums. I may be wrong and if I am, I'm sure that will be pointed out to me. However, I have seen it before, lived it and can relate to it. After years of seeing the ups and downs on boards, I also believe I can recognize it.

gneiss

Thanks, Katie. My mom did the same thing and it annoys me wherever I see it, on forums or anywhere else.

(semi-related)
I've kinda tried not to say much on this thread, but here goes anyway. I see arguments as natural and normal, and usually beneficial. One of my favorite lines from a movie (this one's from Jerry Maguire) is "You think we're arguing and I think we're finally talking!" Even so, I think it would be good if everyone worked on having a little respect (me too, I've had my moments).

LosingmyMisery

I can understand the frustration. When I was new in recovery I always tried to explain my feelings and was told feelings aren't facts. It used to really **** me off. Today, I get what that means. It isn't discounting your feelings it is distinguishing between the two.

Bamboozle

No safe place for me to vent.

Bamboozle

This p!sses me off.

Bamboozle

My opinions are vaild.

Maybe you could try your own advice.

Bamboozle

It's cigarette time! Woo hoo!

allport

Send me a venty angry PM Bam I promise not to tell you how wrong you are! lol

Bamboozle

Bamboozle

Besides, do not presume to know that I've "closed myself off". I just call BULL when I see it. Why does that bother so many people?

Bamboozle

That should be "valid".

LosingmyMisery

I'm done trying. Think whatever you like. Personally, I don't think anger is helping any one. All posts aren't about you and you alone. It appears you are taking every thing personally and it isn't about that. Remain pissed off. Once I leave, surely you will find something else that pisses you off. You see this isn't really about me, it is about you.

Bamboozle

My anger just isn't for me...it's for EVERYONE ELSE I SEE THIS HAPPENING TO as well. Anger is healthy. And I have a right to get it out in order to feel better. Again, my opinions are valid. Remember, you went out of your way to this thread in order to respond. Why?



My thread that I asked to have shut down? All those people responded to MY thread. I didn't ask them to do it...they elected to. Many of the responses were directed at me or others like me. What should I do, be quiet? That sounds a lot like the, "Shut up, that's why!" arguements.

I will not let anyone invalidate my opinions. I will not be passive anymore. I will stick up for people who are the same. For the first time at SR, I'm being completely honest, and it feels right.

Bamboozle

Have to go to work now...be back later. I'm late.

Katie09

How can you possibly say this? I would caution you against making sweeping generalizations against anyone you have never met in real life (and that includes me). The language you use above may be damaging and not based in something you can even be sure of. And how can you say it's about her and not you? Do you have a PhD or something? I am quite sure not even a therapist in real life would jump to such conclusions - much less based on an Internet forum.

No, I am with Bam on this one. I don't want to perpetuate an argument here. But I am all for allowing a member to speak her mind, as long as the rules of SR are followed. And BTW, anger is not a bad emotion. Anger is an energizing emotion. It propels one into action. Sitting around taking slings and arrows and feeling confused and invalidated causes far more distress than feeling angry.

Katie off her soapbox now.