DriGuy

Alcohol compromises athletic endeavors. Some seem to manage to do both and remain in the game. But when alcohol becomes an addiction, it no longer takes but a small bite out of performance like it does for those who manage to do both. I has ruined entire careers. It happens in sports, Hollywood, and acts as a throttle in more common everyday careers if it doesn't actually end up losing your job for you.

Now, I'm retired, so I don't look back on that part of my life much, but I'm so grateful to be done with alcohol. I couldn't imagine wrecking the joy of retirement by drinking my way through it.

I live in the woods and am 1200 ft from a 16 mile trail system alive with wildlife (deer and an occasional bear) that passes by the end of my driveway, and I hike two or three miles everyday, rain or shine. I've only met trail runners twice in recent years, but I'm getting the feeling trail running is a new thing. We are so isolated here that it's hard keeping abreast of these new trends in outdoor activities. Our tail system was built on county property by a group of mountain bikers. The original group is now gone, but so far we've been able to maintain the trails with a group of four interested locals. The county does not maintain the system. All they do is advertise it to try to lure visitors, while the volunteers rebuild washed out bridges over the creeks and keep the trails open.

Pekelover2

Driguy…
That trail system sounds lovely! And it’s right outside your door! I too, maintain our local trail systems. Before I moved to where I live now, I’d never seen a real ax much less used one! It’s such a wonderful thing to help maintain something that so many ppl enjoy using.
And I can’t help out if I’m hungover…

least

I hope next time you're tempted to drink you'll post here first so we can try our best to talk you out of it.

Pekelover2

I will definitely post here, Least.
Thank you so much for caring.

Pekelover2

Five days out from my last binge.
I’m still feeling the effects. Fractured sleep. Puffy stomach.
But I’m off to run now! Thankful for that!

advbike

I used to love trail running, miles and miles of it, but eventually had to switch to MTB and road cycling after the knees got worse. But it really kept the drinking from getting out of hand for decades. Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you on your efforts and ask if you had read the book Alcohol Explained, by William Porter. It really helped me understand a lot of the behaviors around relapse, as well as the sleep problems I would get from even small amounts of alcohol.

Five days is great, Pekelover. You're about past the physical withdrawal, now it becomes a mental game of fighting off the AV for awhile. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can. Glad to have you here.

Anna

Pekelover, I'm glad to hear you're on Day 5 and feeling better. You don't need to go through this again.

Surrendered19

Wishing you a good healthy weekend Pekelover!!!

MissPerfumado

Keep posting, Pekelover, keep running too! I would love to go proper trail running and get out into nature that way. I live very close to the city, where I live, the trails are park and beachside trails so nothing too rural, unfortunately. Congratulations on Day 5!

Miss P.

Pekelover2

(I posted this message earlier.
It must have gotten eaten in cyberspace).
I had an amazing run this morning with my one of my friends and her husband.
Sunday I have a big run with four friends.
Tonight will be challenging. I don’t have anything for tomorrow. I bought my husband a bottle of wine. (He’s off this evening). We’re going to watch a documentary (the Rescue).
Before that, I’ll wrap some gifts. And decorate our tree.

least

Congrats on day five! Remember to come here first if you feel like drinking. We'll try to talk you out of it.

Pekelover2

Thank you for the advice, Least.
I’m trying to stay busy. But if I can’t stay focused, I’ll be here with you guys.
Thank you for caring about me. It means so much to me. I feel so alone right now.

least

Well you might be alone in real life, at least here on the forum you're surrounded by those who care about you. If I feel lonely, coming here makes me feel connected and that makes me feel less alone.

Stay on here.

VikingGF

Hey, Peke, I'm thinking of you tonight! Stay busy and don't drink.... And maybe let your husband buy his wine himself..... I would never even think to venture to a wine shop- and I have no cravings or urges to drink, but why poke the sleeping dragon??

Pekelover2

Thanks for your response Viking. My husband offers not to drink. But after a a few dry occasions, he’ll usually ask me to pick him up some. I love McDonald’s fries. If he asked me to buy him some, I’d be easily able to show restraint. (If that makes sense).
I’m still wrapping gifts. My husband is playing his video game. This is a hard time right now. If we can just get to the movie, I’ll be okay.
Thank you all again.

Pekelover2

My husband is out of wine. This is where he normally orders from Door Dash. Door Dash is a company that delivers alcohol or food right to your doorstep.
He feels guilty about ordering more wine. So he’s asking me if I want wine myself. I said no.
It was hard. I’m trying to be strong.
The movie is good. We’re halfway through.

Hodd

I never knew about these alcohol delivery services before. What a grim prospect.

Your husband seems to have an alcohol dependency problem himself, but to try and drag you along too is unacceptable. You need to put him right on this if you’re serious about quitting.

Pekelover2

So I made it!
I made it.
whew.
Tongiht will be awesome. We will decorate the tree and put up our Christmas houses.
I don’t have to worry about drinking because I have running plans tomorrow! And Monday I have a very early appointment. So I’m safe for a while.

Thank you all again.

least

Glad you made it thru. Each time you do, you get stronger.

Pekelover2

I had a very difficult time this morning. I ran with five of my friends. Normally I have no trouble keeping pace with them. But I had a binge drinking episode last Monday. I think that I’m still feeling the effects. On top of this, when I looked in the mirror today I looked very bloated. Especially the area between my hips and shoulders. I have never carried weight in my midsection but I feel as if I look puffy or now. I used to be able to do a binge night twice a month and still keep up my athletic endeavors. But it seems like I just can’t do it anymore. And that’s a great thing I know. But I was just really embarrassed today. I was panting and gasping like I was drowning. I don’t think anybody noticed. But I did. I felt it. A part of me is thinking, well maybe I can drink just once a month and still be able to train with them. But why do that?

I was just about to post this. As I read what I wrote I realized with sadness that all I did was talk about how drinking was affecting my workouts. I forgot to mention that it’s destroying my marriage. Forgot to mention that. Because that’s kind of like a big deal. Funny how selfish and narcissistic I am. All I care about is my running. Not my relationship. With my husband. Of twenty-three years. Who’s heart is breaking because he’s got a busy shift tonight in the ER. And he’s worried that I might binge…