Core values/motivations
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Core values/motivations
....for recovery from addictions and in general! 
I always find identifying my innermost motivations and values very useful as a motivational source, not only for addiction recovery but everything in life really. What are yours?
It can be complicated and seemingly complex, but a few months ago I was working the tools of SMART Recovery, and it re-opened my eyes to what's really important. No need to use SMART, just a deep personal inquiry of what sort of mindsets and goals are truly constructive. I will start - my five more import values at this phase of my life are:
(1) Physical and mental health
(2) Competency and making useful contributions
(3) Personal integrity and ethics
(4) Autonomy and self-sufficiency
(5) Connection with other people
Feel free to elaborate and/or share your five goals (I think it's a realistic number)
I always find identifying my innermost motivations and values very useful as a motivational source, not only for addiction recovery but everything in life really. What are yours?
It can be complicated and seemingly complex, but a few months ago I was working the tools of SMART Recovery, and it re-opened my eyes to what's really important. No need to use SMART, just a deep personal inquiry of what sort of mindsets and goals are truly constructive. I will start - my five more import values at this phase of my life are:
(1) Physical and mental health
(2) Competency and making useful contributions
(3) Personal integrity and ethics
(4) Autonomy and self-sufficiency
(5) Connection with other people
Feel free to elaborate and/or share your five goals (I think it's a realistic number)
Last edited by ScottFromWI; 06-02-2021 at 02:36 PM. Reason: typo in title
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
It is an interesting topic and as I thought about my five I realised just how compromised they have all been by drinking. A couple of weeks ago ( 19 days to be exact!) I would have felt ashamed and very dishonest to have written this list for I would have known how poorly I was living up to them. However, now, I feel very positive that I can fully aspire to all five. It is a good feeling.
Mental and physical wellbeing - For me these need to be first for all else to follow
Integrity
Empathy
Courage
Compassion
Mental and physical wellbeing - For me these need to be first for all else to follow
Integrity
Empathy
Courage
Compassion
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Freedom USA
Posts: 73
Respecting my body- Nutrition and Exercise
Accountability: Doing what I say I will do/ not canceling plans
React less and listen more- impossible when constantly feeling sick and depressed
Gratitude- Appreciating what I already have vs what I don’t
Compassion- even for those who have wronged me. You never know how someone else is suffering- be kind always
Accountability: Doing what I say I will do/ not canceling plans
React less and listen more- impossible when constantly feeling sick and depressed
Gratitude- Appreciating what I already have vs what I don’t
Compassion- even for those who have wronged me. You never know how someone else is suffering- be kind always
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
The university I once worked for sent me to Franklin Covey training. Covey taught values/goals based planning and productivity. One of the early exercises was to track what we did every hour of the day for a week in our brand new Covey planners.
The second session dealt with values and goals and we were asked to share ours with the class. For instance, one person said a strong relationship with family was important to him.
After we were all done sharing, the instructor asked us to look at our planners, where we had been tracking what we did with our time for a week. He asked us all to see how much of our time was devoted to our values and goals. Can you guess how much? The person who valued family spent less than a hour with his. And I guess, if my planner was any indication, I valued drinking, watching TV and generally amusing myself in the pursuit of pleasure--not the lofty values I had shared with the class.
The take away for me was your actions are the reflection of your values.
The second session dealt with values and goals and we were asked to share ours with the class. For instance, one person said a strong relationship with family was important to him.
After we were all done sharing, the instructor asked us to look at our planners, where we had been tracking what we did with our time for a week. He asked us all to see how much of our time was devoted to our values and goals. Can you guess how much? The person who valued family spent less than a hour with his. And I guess, if my planner was any indication, I valued drinking, watching TV and generally amusing myself in the pursuit of pleasure--not the lofty values I had shared with the class.
The take away for me was your actions are the reflection of your values.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Core Values:
Honesty and Integrity
Physical, mental and emotional health
Determination to be successful in everyday matters
Positive and solution oriented thinking
Harmony
Altruism
respect and compassion towards self and others
Creating value
Equality
Honesty and Integrity
Physical, mental and emotional health
Determination to be successful in everyday matters
Positive and solution oriented thinking
Harmony
Altruism
respect and compassion towards self and others
Creating value
Equality
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
This identification of personal values is also the first section of SMART Recovery, what they call Point 1 or Building and Maintaining Motivation. The textbook exercise (called Hierarchy of Values, many SMARTers favorite) is to write a list as comprehensive as possible, with anything that comes to mind, and then identify the top 5. Those five "core values" are then used for recovery and can be helpful to recall at any stage of just life, in general. Some psychological theories suggest that the so-called core values (once recognized) never change much for a person, and there is some truth in that idea I believe, which most personality psychology systems also use... but IMO they are at least a bit more flexible. This is why it can be helpful to think about this at any new stage of life, especially when we are contemplating or are in the process of making big changes, even more if we are afraid of making or procrastinating the first steps. The idea is that the top values will be the most powerful motivators to build on.
Do you guys like this idea? Agree, disagree, why? I would be interested in discussing even beyond just listing the values.
And I am obviously in need of a new Tool concert (the band whose videos I posted above) - the Tool concert in NYC I attended in 2019 impacted me in so many ways, some I'm still processing at times. It was before I took my sobriety seriously, but during one of my best shorter sober stints. Will never forget the event and the impact it had on me during the week that followed. I think it was part of the motivational structure that emerged for me a bit later, in 2020. The last post contains a very old concert and music video they had made, but their latest album called "Fear Inoculum" is much more mature and interesting. The song Pneuma I also posted is from that album. The "frontman" Maynard James Keenan is one of the like-minded many people in my life that I appreciated and just very recently had a chance to meet in person for a conversation that likely will never fade in my mind.
That was a distraction though... so please post about values more if you'd like.
Do you guys like this idea? Agree, disagree, why? I would be interested in discussing even beyond just listing the values.
And I am obviously in need of a new Tool concert (the band whose videos I posted above) - the Tool concert in NYC I attended in 2019 impacted me in so many ways, some I'm still processing at times. It was before I took my sobriety seriously, but during one of my best shorter sober stints. Will never forget the event and the impact it had on me during the week that followed. I think it was part of the motivational structure that emerged for me a bit later, in 2020. The last post contains a very old concert and music video they had made, but their latest album called "Fear Inoculum" is much more mature and interesting. The song Pneuma I also posted is from that album. The "frontman" Maynard James Keenan is one of the like-minded many people in my life that I appreciated and just very recently had a chance to meet in person for a conversation that likely will never fade in my mind
.That was a distraction though... so please post about values more if you'd like.
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One way of to think about and use this... for example, my #1 (posted in the OP) definitely motivated me, starting in adolescence, to get into a career involving deep knowledge of biology, psychology and doing medical research. And #2 to try excel in all of that, and more. I can and do apply these to my recovery as well.
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Originally Posted by Mizz 
Aellyce.....
Are you doing okay? How is your sobriety going?
Are you doing okay? How is your sobriety going?
.
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Of course I'm not sober and you (probably many others) have caught it accurately. I apologize for the misleading posts, once again. I just really don't know how to handle my cravings for alcohol. I do well for a few days, then give in, and I don't know how to increase my desire and commitment for sobriety. I do love being sober (hence my avatar), always feel great and get tons done... but I still don't know how 'not to drink', when that urge comes. I've found many tool helpful, so so... but obviously it does not last.
Please guys, if you want to help, don't tell me that my commitment, desire, pledge etc is not enough, unless you offer a clear practical solution to increase it.
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I'm starting to think that perhaps permanent abstinence (what I would love to achieve, consistent with my values) is just not in the cards for me. I mean, since 2010, my sign up to SR. All the years of research. Understanding and trying all the methods. I'm thinking that perhaps I should really just give this up and compromise with some kind of harm reduction?
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