Alba diary July 2020
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Thank you for the replies troops. I respect you all enormously and I'll reply in time just not now. That's day 49 done as its 13 mins till beer shop shuts and I've no intention of doing.
I had a haircut booked for tomorrow but I've cancelled last minute. On Monday I return to work. The work things part of my problems for sure. But as a plus from a non-drinking point of view I don't feel like drinking. I'm not unhappy because I'm not drinking. Just unwell that I look and feel unwell. When I started sobriety I'd hoped for a pick up, milestones where I felt better. I'm calmer but my physical health's not great nor my mental status.
I need to understand 20 years of abuse won't be unravelled in 7 weeks. I read somewhere that a month of sobriety=a year of abuse so perhaps in 18 months time I'll be feeling grand.
I've stopped eating well the last few days and I need to be on plan and walking.
I had a haircut booked for tomorrow but I've cancelled last minute. On Monday I return to work. The work things part of my problems for sure. But as a plus from a non-drinking point of view I don't feel like drinking. I'm not unhappy because I'm not drinking. Just unwell that I look and feel unwell. When I started sobriety I'd hoped for a pick up, milestones where I felt better. I'm calmer but my physical health's not great nor my mental status.
I need to understand 20 years of abuse won't be unravelled in 7 weeks. I read somewhere that a month of sobriety=a year of abuse so perhaps in 18 months time I'll be feeling grand.
I've stopped eating well the last few days and I need to be on plan and walking.
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Originally Posted by Philemon 
ALBA
When I was feeling super tired years ago (and not through the after effects of drinking) and trouble with my vision (blurred vision, double vision) I went to the doctors and found it was high blood pressure. I'm not saying yours is. What I'm saying is, you won't know what it is until you get it checked out.
But worrying about it and not doing anything to find out and put it right, you are living in the mental state perfect for the AV to thrive in.
When I was feeling super tired years ago (and not through the after effects of drinking) and trouble with my vision (blurred vision, double vision) I went to the doctors and found it was high blood pressure. I'm not saying yours is. What I'm saying is, you won't know what it is until you get it checked out.
But worrying about it and not doing anything to find out and put it right, you are living in the mental state perfect for the AV to thrive in.
I have HBP of about 160/98
Ive be own machine that I use to test.
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Originally Posted by MaximusD
I was going to ask the same thing as dee. I can't remember reading something in the previous pages so maybe need a reminder.
Dark circles under eyes
Red spots on upper trunk
Hyperpigmentation on arms and hands
Skin imprinting very easily
Tiredness/insomnia.
It's stuff which isn't nice so of course the answer is to pack it in whilst you have your health. Of course these things are recoverable, but we all have wobbles and I'm mid-wobble so to speak.
We're told the liver can regenerate itself and I live in hope. At 38 I believe I probably have reverable liver damage.
How are you feeling Max, I feel your kindness means you ask more of others than we do if you, are you still bossing this mate?
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I'm glad you've no intention of drinking 
Sounds to me like you've freaked yourself out on Dr Google though. Those 'symptoms' could be indicative of many other things, or nothing at all.
I could say yes to all those issues too but I know my liver is sound because I get regular checkups.
Like you say you're young and you have every reason to stay fit well and healthy - including a child, yeah?
See a real Doctor Alba, doublecheck that BP on their machine, and set your mind to rest
D
Sounds to me like you've freaked yourself out on Dr Google though. Those 'symptoms' could be indicative of many other things, or nothing at all.
I could say yes to all those issues too but I know my liver is sound because I get regular checkups.
Like you say you're young and you have every reason to stay fit well and healthy - including a child, yeah?
See a real Doctor Alba, doublecheck that BP on their machine, and set your mind to rest
D
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I'm going to see my GP and get bloods drawn at 100 days. If I went today and it was all over the place with alts, GGTs etc I would probably drink till I got my fill. I view another 51days as time to regenerate and then I'll talk to my heath professional. Again not textbook advice but what suits me best.
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I’m sober almost a month ALBA. I usually start feeling better by now, but I honestly feel worse than when I was drinking. So exhausted all day. I, like you, am trying to keep the faith that in time things will improve.
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Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
I’m sober almost a month ALBA. I usually start feeling better by now, but I honestly feel worse than when I was drinking. So exhausted all day. I, like you, am trying to keep the faith that in time things will improve.
Does your energy fluctuate or is a content? Because I have reduced but near normal energy 8am-3pm. No energy 4-8pm then it picks up a little which is when I walk or type on here.
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Hang in there man....I sure that you will start to notice more positive changes as you go. And it's really easy to freak yourself out thinking everything is wrong, but the body is amazingly resilient and the important thing is you are still not drinking.....way to go!!
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Alba, I would bet money you are just fine. I have gone to the doc right after LONG binges and no worse for wear. I am not saying this is everyone but don't stress yourself. For me, I would go to the doctor so that if I DID get a bad report I could use that as more motivation to hold my quit down. It would be so rare that at your age you had some life altering irreversible damage from drinking. I hope you see I am trying to be positive even though maybe I am not coming off that way
What did you mean by the below question?
"How are you feeling Max, I feel your kindness means you ask more of others than we do if you, are you still bossing this mate?"
What did you mean by the below question?
"How are you feeling Max, I feel your kindness means you ask more of others than we do if you, are you still bossing this mate?"
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Originally Posted by MaximusD
Alba, I would bet money you are just fine. I have gone to the doc right after LONG binges and no worse for wear. I am not saying this is everyone but don't stress yourself. For me, I would go to the doctor so that if I DID get a bad report I could use that as more motivation to hold my quit down. It would be so rare that at your age you had some life altering irreversible damage from drinking. I hope you see I am trying to be positive even though maybe I am not coming off that way
What did you mean by the below question?
"How are you feeling Max, I feel your kindness means you ask more of others than we do if you, are you still bossing this mate?"
What did you mean by the below question?
"How are you feeling Max, I feel your kindness means you ask more of others than we do if you, are you still bossing this mate?"
"How are you feeling max"? ( what is your status. How are you doing just now).
"I feel your kindness means you ask more of others than we do of you" ( I've a strong appreciation of everything you've done for everyone, and I'm sorry this hasn't been returned towards you because you deserve it)
"are you still bossing it mate" ( are you still doing well and in control of it, my friend)
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Scots is a wee bit different from English Max. I'm sure @Gabe1980 might put my right If I've my words aint comming out right.
The short version is I'm praising you because your invaluable on here, and your support is greatly appreciated.
The short version is I'm praising you because your invaluable on here, and your support is greatly appreciated.
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Ah thank you for clarifying! Helping others also helps me so it is a win win. I spent a week or two in Scotland and my god it was like they were speaking a different language but it was English! Literally they are talking right next to me and I know it is English but between the accent and the different vocabulary here and there I was done.
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Originally Posted by MaximusD
Ah thank you for clarifying! Helping others also helps me so it is a win win. I spent a week or two in Scotland and my god it was like they were speaking a different language but it was English! Literally they are talking right next to me and I know it is English but between the accent and the different vocabulary here and there I was done.
There's differences between scot/english like there's dif between Eng/USA or Eng/Can. We all speak the sober train though!
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Hey Alba.....yup Scots is very different and depending on where you go...which coast, islands etc it changes hugely. Love that you are a fellow Scot Alba and we are on the same coast!
50 days is awesome...it gets boring sometimes but don't let that get to you too much. I really regret drinking after putting in all that time and work. Part of it was stress and anxiety, but part was boredom too. You are doing so well.
I second you also....Max - I think you are awesome!
50 days is awesome...it gets boring sometimes but don't let that get to you too much. I really regret drinking after putting in all that time and work. Part of it was stress and anxiety, but part was boredom too. You are doing so well.
I second you also....Max - I think you are awesome!
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51 done. Another day ( 5th day of not sticking to my eating plan). Spend £53 pounds today buying PPE for re-opening my business. Also booked a wee trip to Dundee ( Apex at the Quayside) if your reading Gabe for the Oct hols.
Same time tomorrow.
Same time tomorrow.
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Originally Posted by ALBAdrunk
51 done. Another day ( 5th day of not sticking to my eating plan). Spend £53 pounds today buying PPE for re-opening my business. Also booked a wee trip to Dundee ( Apex at the Quayside) if your reading Gabe for the Oct hols.
Same time tomorrow.
Same time tomorrow.
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