Alba diary July 2020
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 739
Day 45 is over and today was great.....until I was out on a coastal track from my evening walk and I've rolled my ankle again. Hopefully I'll not swell up too much and I'll be all right in the morning. Today I had no real thoughts about drinking. My focus is to drop about 4lbs over the next week until I go back to work. I believe that going back to work will challenge the upturn in my health and sobriety. I really wish I'd started sobriety at the start of lockdown because I could be about 150 days down my now, but I cannot change the past and I'm hopeful of a positive weekend. I've my food and water all ready to go for tomorrow.
Same time Sat eve.
Same time Sat eve.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Day 47 done. I'm still feeling really unwell to be honesty. Hopefully it will get better. I've ordered a machine off the internet that will remove the age spots I gained whilst drinking over the last 2 years. Cost £400 or about 10 days boozing in a pub. I've looked at my hands and arms change over the last two years as my liver figures haven't been right. I'd like as part of my recovery for my hands to look like they did 2 years ago. Beyond the vain reasons it does get me down, and I think about liver damage every time I look at my extra pigmentation.
Same time tomorrow. Tonight I'm feeling a bit low but I'm sober.
Same time tomorrow. Tonight I'm feeling a bit low but I'm sober.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980 
😊😊 you are doing AMAZING Alba!!!
On day 20 there was about a 99% chance I'd drink again.
On day 40 there was about a 95% chance I'd drink again.
ATM I'll almost certainly drink again. But my mind needs this freedom. I hope to post up on day 365 that the probability is less than 50%.
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Another thing I've been doing recently is listening to Bruce Springsteen on my walks. He's a story to tell and an excellent artist. Emotional music, and sometimes I get teary walking alone on the beach. Although I've nothing personally to get teary about with a wonderful upbringing great wife and kids. I chuck on a Springsteen ballad and tears are rolling down my cheeks.
Again it's a process towards normal function.
Again it's a process towards normal function.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Hi there can anyone link up a liver recovery thread for me tonight. I'm feeling a wee bit unhinged, a bit broken. Stuff where the poster has felt at deaths door and have recovered. I still have zero energy after 4pm and my sleep still isn't good. I wanted it better. It isn't. Sometimes I'm walking the beach and seeing almost double.
I was getting better until a couple days ago so sobriety is key I'm struggling a little bit. x
I was getting better until a couple days ago so sobriety is key I'm struggling a little bit. x
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
Hey ALBA
Health worries are pretty normal. I felt sure I was going to drop dead at any minute because with what I drank etc I was sure I'd passed the point of no return.
A check up revealed that all things considered I was doing pretty well, I'm sure you are too.
I recommend seeing your Dr at some point when you feel up to it for a checkup - but it the meantime - ignore the AV. The best thing you can do for your body and mins is simply not drink.
We've had members here with pretty bad liver prognoses who've turned things around. You may hear from some of them
PS You're worried and panicking a little - its not attention seeking to ask for help
D
Health worries are pretty normal. I felt sure I was going to drop dead at any minute because with what I drank etc I was sure I'd passed the point of no return.
A check up revealed that all things considered I was doing pretty well, I'm sure you are too.
I recommend seeing your Dr at some point when you feel up to it for a checkup - but it the meantime - ignore the AV. The best thing you can do for your body and mins is simply not drink.
We've had members here with pretty bad liver prognoses who've turned things around. You may hear from some of them
PS You're worried and panicking a little - its not attention seeking to ask for help
D
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Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: England
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ALBA Dee is right, that's your AV getting at you. Pulling the old "the damage is done now, you're a gonner" Filling your thoughts full of morbid things, next it will pop up with a "solution" to get away from those thoughts. And guess what that "solution" will be?
You, ALBA, do not want drink in your life anymore. The AV's job is to get you to drink forever and it will prey on every fear (or joy) you have to get you to do that.
Don't mull on those thoughts, they are not "yours" they are the AVs. If you are genuinely worried about your health, take some action and get things sorted, your AV will hate that, it just wants you to drink on them.
You, ALBA, do not want drink in your life anymore. The AV's job is to get you to drink forever and it will prey on every fear (or joy) you have to get you to do that.
Don't mull on those thoughts, they are not "yours" they are the AVs. If you are genuinely worried about your health, take some action and get things sorted, your AV will hate that, it just wants you to drink on them.
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
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ALBA, you are worrying me a bit. Get back to where you were and I don't like to hear about those probabilities to put. Sobriety needs to be your everything and you gotta put your mind into it and get those probabilities down. I feel like you are planning your slip up and you need to stop NOW. Get back on here and post. If you are worried that much make an appt with your doc and that will probably make you feel better.
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Originally Posted by MaximusD
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Good night. I am going to check on you tomorrow.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I've messed my health up waay beyond that
whats ailing you, physically apart from the ankle?
ALBA honestly get a check up or at least talk with your doctor.
The likelihood is you're fine - and frankly if you did have any small issues, any problems you may have will be rectified by continued abstinence, good diet and exercise.
Don't let your AV have your ear on this - its simply a desperate gambit to get you to drink again, for no real discernible reason other than fear.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2020
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ALBA
When I was feeling super tired years ago (and not through the after effects of drinking) and trouble with my vision (blurred vision, double vision) I went to the doctors and found it was high blood pressure. I'm not saying yours is. What I'm saying is, you won't know what it is until you get it checked out.
But worrying about it and not doing anything to find out and put it right, you are living in the mental state perfect for the AV to thrive in.
When I was feeling super tired years ago (and not through the after effects of drinking) and trouble with my vision (blurred vision, double vision) I went to the doctors and found it was high blood pressure. I'm not saying yours is. What I'm saying is, you won't know what it is until you get it checked out.
But worrying about it and not doing anything to find out and put it right, you are living in the mental state perfect for the AV to thrive in.
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