Miserable. I cannot stop.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
why? Alcoholism is progressive.
Many of us find once we pass a point there's never any way to go back.
I think this would be a great time to come clean with your mom and stop those dangerous nightly drinks PB.
D
Many of us find once we pass a point there's never any way to go back.
I think this would be a great time to come clean with your mom and stop those dangerous nightly drinks PB.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
yeah, butterfly - I would tell Mom I was done with wine for a while. Then just don't drink with her. You don't have to make it a big "thing." Just say No.
Sounds cliche, but that's really all there is to it. If she starts in on you, say, "No, thanks," again.
I don't use any further explanation other than, "I feel better when I don't drink."
I had to do that over and over for years with my family. They continued to offer me drinks long after I'd quit. Doesn't matter what they do. I don't drink.
You can stop, as a matter of fact you can call your last glass your last glass ever. At some point we all did that. You can too.
Sounds cliche, but that's really all there is to it. If she starts in on you, say, "No, thanks," again.
I don't use any further explanation other than, "I feel better when I don't drink."
I had to do that over and over for years with my family. They continued to offer me drinks long after I'd quit. Doesn't matter what they do. I don't drink.
You can stop, as a matter of fact you can call your last glass your last glass ever. At some point we all did that. You can too.
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
I agree with what everyone else is saying. Tell your mom. I might be way off base here but maybe your mom has problem drinking too? There has been times that I have rejected a drink from someone thinking it might seem bad only to have them open up that they wish they could do what I just did. Either way, just keep posting here. We are not going to judge, only help.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
I'm sorry that you drank last night, PinkButterfly. I'm sure you're discouraged, but I'm glad you're back.
One of the hard things in early recovery is making lifestyle changes that you need in order to support your recovery. I found out the hard way that I could not be around alcohol or people drinking at all. I hope you can accept what you have learned through this experience and put the knowledge into your recovery plan.
One of the hard things in early recovery is making lifestyle changes that you need in order to support your recovery. I found out the hard way that I could not be around alcohol or people drinking at all. I hope you can accept what you have learned through this experience and put the knowledge into your recovery plan.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Hey Pink, I’ve been following your thread because I can relate to so much of what you’re going through. I wish I had quit drinking when I was at the same point you’re at, but I didn’t end up quitting until about a year and half ago, with my kids ages ranging 9-20 at the time I quit. It’s not like my life was a constant living hell the whole time I was drinking, but damn, things are so much better now.
You can do this. Your kids are tiny, they never have to know what you’re like drunk. When you crave, it sucks, but you can ride it out, using the strategies posted around this forum. (Personally, I used walking as a distraction from my cravings. And Annie Grace’s books helped a lot, but there are a lot of great suggestions around here.)
As for your mom, I don’t know how open you are able to be with her, but you can tell her as much or as little as you want. You can say you want to avoid alcohol because it messes with your very valuable sleep, say you’ve decided to start a health kick, or that you’ve been getting headaches, whatever. You can tell her you have a problem, or you can keep it to yourself; all that matters is that you set that as a boundary and stick with it.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re posting here. You have the self awareness needed to kick this bad habit before it turns into a bigger problem. And it’s so worth it. I can’t even begin to tell you.
You can do this. Your kids are tiny, they never have to know what you’re like drunk. When you crave, it sucks, but you can ride it out, using the strategies posted around this forum. (Personally, I used walking as a distraction from my cravings. And Annie Grace’s books helped a lot, but there are a lot of great suggestions around here.)
As for your mom, I don’t know how open you are able to be with her, but you can tell her as much or as little as you want. You can say you want to avoid alcohol because it messes with your very valuable sleep, say you’ve decided to start a health kick, or that you’ve been getting headaches, whatever. You can tell her you have a problem, or you can keep it to yourself; all that matters is that you set that as a boundary and stick with it.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re posting here. You have the self awareness needed to kick this bad habit before it turns into a bigger problem. And it’s so worth it. I can’t even begin to tell you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 98
Made it 2 days! I feel amazing! Cravings have come and gone and I have been riding out the waves. Very tired but so at peace. I told my mom very little just that I really need more sleep than I’m getting and she didn’t question it! Thank you for the support!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 98
Originally Posted by Bumblebee2 
Congrats pink!!!
How long is your mom with you? Glad she is there to help you out. That is great that you told her you need more sleep (which is really the truth with the little ones!)
How long is your mom with you? Glad she is there to help you out. That is great that you told her you need more sleep (which is really the truth with the little ones!)
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
Hi Pinkbutterfly,
I just went through your thread. Sorry to hear what's going on, especially with you being a new mom. Last year my wife was expecting and we lost the baby early in the pregnancy. Her hormones were fluctuating severely, and I can only guess it would be similar after having a baby. Probably even more so. Try not to beat yourself up, feel ashamed. It sounds like you have a specific situational drinking thing going on. Its hard to stop in part because everytime you drink your getting a hit of dopamine, if your feeling depressed and anxious that hit helps but then fades. I guess what I'm saying is a lot of this is simply biological. Good to hear your husband has been supportive. Dont be ashamed to tell your family and close friends your not sleeping, feeling anxious, and even struggling with alcohol. I bet they will understand. My wife looked around online after her miscarriage and found some women to talk to. I bet if you looked, you'd find your not the only new mom dealing with this.
I just went through your thread. Sorry to hear what's going on, especially with you being a new mom. Last year my wife was expecting and we lost the baby early in the pregnancy. Her hormones were fluctuating severely, and I can only guess it would be similar after having a baby. Probably even more so. Try not to beat yourself up, feel ashamed. It sounds like you have a specific situational drinking thing going on. Its hard to stop in part because everytime you drink your getting a hit of dopamine, if your feeling depressed and anxious that hit helps but then fades. I guess what I'm saying is a lot of this is simply biological. Good to hear your husband has been supportive. Dont be ashamed to tell your family and close friends your not sleeping, feeling anxious, and even struggling with alcohol. I bet they will understand. My wife looked around online after her miscarriage and found some women to talk to. I bet if you looked, you'd find your not the only new mom dealing with this.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
This is so excellent. You're doing really well.
I'd say start thinking about future events that may tempt you. Once I started feeling better I still didn't go to parties or bars where the main reason to be there was to drink. People are going to offer. Be ready!
Well done.
I'd say start thinking about future events that may tempt you. Once I started feeling better I still didn't go to parties or bars where the main reason to be there was to drink. People are going to offer. Be ready!
Well done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Pink, join our June quitters thread. All of us have quit within this month and it is a great place. We are all supporting each other and many are at a week or less. I had never really explored those "Class" threads but now realize that is the main place I should be.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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