Hi Pinkbutterfly,
I just went through your thread. Sorry to hear what's going on, especially with you being a new mom. Last year my wife was expecting and we lost the baby early in the pregnancy. Her hormones were fluctuating severely, and I can only guess it would be similar after having a baby. Probably even more so. Try not to beat yourself up, feel ashamed. It sounds like you have a specific situational drinking thing going on. Its hard to stop in part because everytime you drink your getting a hit of dopamine, if your feeling depressed and anxious that hit helps but then fades. I guess what I'm saying is a lot of this is simply biological. Good to hear your husband has been supportive. Dont be ashamed to tell your family and close friends your not sleeping, feeling anxious, and even struggling with alcohol. I bet they will understand. My wife looked around online after her miscarriage and found some women to talk to. I bet if you looked, you'd find your not the only new mom dealing with this.