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Old 01-03-2020, 04:54 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Auchieshuggle View Post
I completely agree. I have symptoms of mental illness, which gradually seem to be diminishing with sober time. Like yourself, I think if I was to drink again I would severely damage my mental health.
This is my main hope...to achieve mental stability. I've become so paranoid in the past 6 months like wtf!! It's like I don't know who I am anymore and I worry all the time.
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Old 01-03-2020, 04:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Sober - it's wonderful to have you with us. This is a great place for encouragement & friendship. Believe me, we all understand what you're going through, the way others can't.

I drank my whole life & have almost 12 yrs. sober. When I found SR I knew I'd never have to feel alone with my struggle, and that meant everything. We know you can do it - congratulations on deciding not to settle for that miserable old way of life.
12 years...WOW....gives me hope
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Old 01-03-2020, 05:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
Hey Sober45, do let us know how you fared after leaving work.
We're here for you!

O
I'm back at my desk and feeling much better than I did yesterday because I DIDN'T DRINK LAST NIGHT! The best part of being sober is waking up without a hangover.
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Old 01-03-2020, 05:06 AM
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Can't wait to get my first weekend done because those are the hardest. On Saturdays I usually start drinking by 10-11am and stay comfortably numb til bed.
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Old 01-03-2020, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Sober45 View Post
I'm back at my desk and feeling much better than I did yesterday because I DIDN'T DRINK LAST NIGHT! The best part of being sober is waking up without a hangover.
When I don't have pressure to get up for work I sleep better.

On these days I wake up with a natural melatonin hangover. It is amazing and I will never ever ever give it up.

Thanks.
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Old 01-03-2020, 11:44 AM
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Good luck on your journey and new life.
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Old 01-04-2020, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by D122y View Post
When I don't have pressure to get up for work I sleep better.

On these days I wake up with a natural melatonin hangover. It is amazing and I will never ever ever give it up.

Thanks.
that really sounds like something to look forward to! Thanks
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Old 01-04-2020, 09:06 AM
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Day 3

It seems like the intense anxiety I was having b4 I quit is starting to lift...maybe. I’ve gotten so much done and it feels good but I can also see a mountain of needed repairs ahead which is daunting. It’s going to be a long journey. Day 3
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Old 01-04-2020, 09:29 AM
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Next week do some self-care things Sober45. Make a dentist appointment. Make an appt for a physical. Get a haircut. Stuff for just you and your future health and sober road.
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Old 01-04-2020, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
Next week do some self-care things Sober45. Make a dentist appointment. Make an appt for a physical. Get a haircut. Stuff for just you and your future health and sober road.
yes...I’ve already made some appointments. I need a makeover though and I need to start walking outdoors. Thanks
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:01 PM
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well done on day 3

D
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Old 01-04-2020, 05:48 PM
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Welcome!

This place can change your life. One thing I would strongly recommend is to join the January 2020 Sobriety Group, which is on this same forum thread, likely near the top.

I joined the August 2009 group, about 10 and 1/2 years ago and that group of comrades really helped me to get sober.
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Old 01-05-2020, 02:17 PM
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Day 4

funny thing. At the end of my work day on Friday I was anxious about the weekend..which I did well with. And now, Sunday evening, I’m dreading my workday tomorrow because no reward after work! So many highs and lows but I’ll take that over waking up with a hangover. Focus. Day 4.
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Old 01-05-2020, 02:33 PM
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Write down your plan for your after-work craving schedule. Script every minute. Get out immediately after work and take a really long walk followed by an hour or two at a coffee shop. Just stay busy and out of that space where you used to reward yourself with booze.
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Old 01-05-2020, 06:58 PM
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Very good advice, Surrendered.
I found scheduling my free time hour-by-hour to be extremely helpful in early days. Even if I didn't exactly follow the schedule, it gave me structure and a plan.

What are your thoughts about checking out AA, Sober45?

O
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Old 01-05-2020, 07:36 PM
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if you feel you must have a reward, plan for one so that you are not aimlessly drifting within that feeling. doesn’t need to be a substance...can be a movie, or going to see a friend, or a nice bath or checking and planning on a class you can take or ...endless possibilities. nothing wrong with chocolate, either.

or try a meeting; depending on where you live, you might have many choices, from SMART to Aa to Lifering et cetera.
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Old 01-06-2020, 09:43 AM
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Day 5 of 365

I'm on day 5 now. I took your advice Surrendered and have a plan written out for myself for this evening.

I wont drink tonight, that I do know. But I'm thinking of the past a lot and to when I had 53 days under my belt. Wishing I could go back in time and give my old self a slap in the face for giving in.

To think that I would every consider drinking again seems incomprehensible right now. BUT, having been down this road several times now I know the difference. The pain that alcohol caused me will fade over time and that's when I'll be most vulnerable.

The future looks dull but I am hopeful. On guard. Day 5.
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Old 01-06-2020, 10:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
Very good advice, Surrendered.
I found scheduling my free time hour-by-hour to be extremely helpful in early days. Even if I didn't exactly follow the schedule, it gave me structure and a plan.

What are your thoughts about checking out AA, Sober45?

O
This is the first time I connected to any type of support and it's really helping. I'm staying on the same thread because I want to easily go back and retrace my steps when (if) I hit that bump in the road. And the advice i'm getting here is really helping.

I've thought about AA many times and personally and I don't agree with the 12 steps. For example, I don't think I would ever believe I am powerless over alcohol.

I believe in neuropathways and the brains reward system. While being young and stupid I repeated negative behaviors (not just drinking) that fed into my reward system and are now a part of my subconscious. The only way I can change that is to create new pathways (by force) consciously. I used this line of thinking and was able to quit smoking 1.5 years ago after smoking for 30 years.

I'm also using a strategy called CORE: commit, objectify, respond and enjoyment.

My past has taught that quite often the more I think I know the less I know so who knows what lies ahead.
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Old 01-06-2020, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by fini View Post
if you feel you must have a reward, plan for one so that you are not aimlessly drifting within that feeling. doesn’t need to be a substance...can be a movie, or going to see a friend, or a nice bath or checking and planning on a class you can take or ...endless possibilities. nothing wrong with chocolate, either.

or try a meeting; depending on where you live, you might have many choices, from SMART to Aa to Lifering et cetera.
"aimlessly drifting within that feeling"...that's what got me trouble in the past! Have to be on guard constantly.
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Old 01-06-2020, 01:36 PM
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Welcome Sober. You are doing well- especially in keeping up your 'progress reports'/sharing. I found after joining SR, I use it every morning- I sit down with the necessary coffee and reconnect to people. I also then had more confidence to face the world, see a GP for a checkup (and depression) and started going to meetings. Support to you.
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