saoutchik

Demerera sugar and some eucalyptus leaves makw the perfect possum stew seasoning. Probably.

I have not had any problems communicating so far Mags but most of the Scots I have talked with are well used to tourists.

Great pics Vinny! That rain reached Scotland too.

I saw the viaduct the Hogwarts Express crosses AND the train itself, just. Lucky timing.

saoutchik

Just caught a glimpse by the Caledonian Canal

WeThinkNot

Listening to the radio earlier I found out there is going to be an 80s cruise this Saturday. Hosted by original MTV VJ Martha Quinn it's going to be a three hour cruise in San Francisco Bay with 80s jams the whole night. I was a child of the 80s, I absolutely love all pop culture associated with the greatest decade ever.

I'm torn about this but not because of drinking. I've been in hibernation while building up my finances after being in debt during my drinking years. On the one hand I've managed to build up my savings quickly but on the other it gave me a convenient excuse to not socialize.

This event sounds like it would be fun but once I'm on a boat I'm committed to the whole thing. The idea is terrifying to me.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

MesaMan

.
Good Pix and Stories, all. Lotsa Peat in that Water over Shin Falls. We've taken Baths in massive old Hotel Tubs, and you acclimate to the funky Water tint from Peat.

We were driving this hot chit Rover Sedan up the Scottish West Coast, and all these Train Spotters had long Lenses on fine Cameras to catch the Steam Train on that Track, Sao. I coincidentally got some good Pix on Film, but have no idea where they are! We stayed up over the Hill in Mallaig for a Week; the terminus for that Train run. Just a fabulous location, as seen below. No bridge to Skye is yet visible in the background; it wasn't built yet.

Thanks to Sober Mornings, I was at it before Sunrise today. Gave the new String Trimmer a go, and swapped out the Monofilament Line for a hard Blade to chop. It's Lithium Battery-powered, so relatively quiet. Kicked Butt some on obnoxious Weeds by our Gate. Also cleaned up Solar Battery connections; Solar Panels; and did some other Battery maintenance out at the Gate where a Wireless Internet connection I built connects us to The World. We head over to Boulder/Denver tomorrow, so Chores beckon. Spent ~1.5 Hours cutting up Cardboard to Recycle from all the stuff we've been ordering. Finally reorganized the Tote I carry essentials in, like Jumper Cables. Winter unprepared here can be Darwinian in the outcome.

I call this one Irish Heavy Metal, since Bob Clearmountain - known for the sound he produced for Def Leppard - was mixing behind the Studio Console on this one.

Plenty of us attest to having an Escape Plan, WeThinkNot. I skipped one dicey Social Engagement when I was gonna be stuck on a Boat for a Formal Dinner with a bunch of wealthy types, and their known-to-get-very-high Offspring. No regrets, even though I likely would have been just fine. Sometimes, it's the unsettling thoughts - vs. the actual Event - that mucks with Serenity.

~ 'Forgiven Not Forgotten' ~ The Corrs ~

MantaLady

All the pics are great!

I am sat in bed at 1am as woke up with rubbish lower back pain watching the two cats play fight to keep me distracted lol. They are brilliant to watch together. Had a weird drinking dream where I was staying at some house and all the family were there but the downstairs of the house looked like a pub. I drank a few mouthfuls of red wine and went upstairs to change and when I came back down I realised I had had a drink. Then lots of other really random stuff happened where I was following a car that cut me up and I got out and jumped on his windscreen although his windscreen was missing and started slapping the driver trying to knock his phone out of his hand. I had to go on the run so I didn’t get arrested or be a victim of a revenge attack from this incident so got on a plane to go somewhere a long way away. At one point I opened the door of the plane as I assumed we had landed but we were still flying high so I hung out the side of the plane watching the clouds pass by. All very strange!

Went to the city today for an interview and seriously considered having a beer with my Japanese meal. I didn’t but maybe that’s the reasons for this crazy night of dreams so far.

Hope everyone is doing good xx

Mags1

MantaLady, I hoped you don’t mind but I chuckled at your dream. Brought tears to my eyes. I’m pleased you didn’t partake in the beer with your meal.

Brilliant photo’s here, I love them.

I’ve been spring cleaning (a bit late!) but it takes me forever, I need a new pair of lungs.

It’s sober Wednesday today, have a good day.

Kaily

It hasn't happened for a little while but yesterday whilst I was queuing to pay for petrol I became very aware of all the wine I was surrounded by. It struck me what a normal thing it was to most people yet so huge to me. It was dicing with danger. Also it angered me that I have no choice but to be constantly exposed to something I am dangerously addicted to.

I won't lie I was tempted in a devilish way. It was like I wanted to play with my sobriety like a naughty child pushing the boundaries or stealing sweets just because I could. I didn't but what happens next time and the next, or when I am feeling particularly weak due to difficult life events?

Feel like I am living with a constant threat.

PhoenixJ

Kaily, I 'play the tape forward'. What would the day after drinking be like? A strong possibility would be I am dead.

MantaLady

I hear you Kaily, I still swing from being hyper aware that the alcohol is in my face surrounding me at the tills or hardly notice it at all. It doesn’t make me angry but I do wish they would keep alcohol in the alcohol isle and not dot it round the stores to encourage impulse purchases. I’ve also noticed how little most shops have to sell other than alcohol too, I decide to have a browse and more than 60% of the shelf space is alcohol!

I don’t mind you laughing at my dream, it was funny in parts and just a collection of super weird events that make no sense. The drinking wine bit was horrid though, I had a dream in my dream about drinking too lol. I remember debating if I had to reset my sober clock as I had only had 3 or 4 mouthfuls but I knew I would always know the time would be a lie if I didn’t.

I was closer than I was comfortable with to rationalising a beer with my Japanese meal yesterday. I debated lying and not telling anyone, I am not an alcoholic anymore, I can have one now and again as I have this under control, I deserve it blah blah etc etc. I played the tape forward and got to a point that maybe I wouldn’t go back to as bad as I was before, but there is a very high risk that I might and I wasn’t willing to gamble with my sobriety. xx

andyh

good for you Manta. if ever my AV is being particularly persistent I give it the face of Piers Morgan* and it becomes easier to ignore.

* or your irritant of choice.

Mags1

Manta, no I wasn’t laughing at the wine part of your dream. Never a laughing matter...I remember only too well. It was opening the plane door what tickled me.

Kaily, I understand about noticing alcohol everywhere. I did...but stick with it..those feelings fade. I’m not being flippant, it took me a while for it to fade in the background. Then again I’d drank a lot for a lot of years...but the mould can be broken.

Andy, piers Morgan

dpac414

Thoughts of drinking are so strange, and hit at the weirdest times. As I was falling asleep, a thought popped into my head of taking shots of rum, and the powerful sense of longing I had for it was really disturbing. I hate rum anymore, and only drank it in college to seem cool. And there's no way I'd want to take shots of it. Get it together, brain.

I also had an incident yesterday where I bought some pineapple sparkling water because it was a flavor I haven't tried, and the second I took a sip it reminded me so much of pineapple vodka. I was so upset by it I had to throw it out. Weird.

So Manta, Kaily, I feel you guys. Manta, glad you didn't have that beer. Not wanting to gamble with my sobriety is one of the main ways I can push those thoughts out of my head. Sure, maybe I could have one and be okay, but am I really willing to take that risk of heading down that dark path again?

LOL Piers Morgan. That's a good one.

Vman, great photos!! I'm really glad you seem to be having a lovely time.

WeThinkNot - if you can't have an escape plan because you're on a boat, would it be possible for you to have a sober buddy to enjoy the event with? Maybe then if things get rough you can go somewhere with them and chat away from the alcohol. It's tough, because you want to eventually be able to do social things, but it's hard to know if you're really not ready or just scared. Part of me thinks that being scared means you're not ready, but I don't know. I'm scared every time I go on a date but that doesn't mean that I'm not ready. Perhaps not the best analogy.

I'm about to get off my bed and go workout, but I wanted to mention that I asked my boss for a letter of recommendation for the master's program I am applying for, as well as emailed one of my old professors. I'm not sure if the professor will respond, as it's been over 4 years since undergrad, but I thought I'd give it a shot. I do need three letters though, so I'm going to have to pull people from somewhere. My last year of college was just really terrible, and I was a very bad student and barely graduated. So I kind of burned bridges and can't really ask them to recommend me for more school, after I put up a pathetic showing the first time around.

Well, one step at a time I guess. I at least have one letter in the bag, and the second is pending. I have plenty of time to figure it out.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Halfway through the week already.

biminiblue

Boy, lots of AV talk in this thread. I'm glad everyone is still on this side. Be careful out there.

I don't really notice the alcohol very often in stores, even though they (how dare they ) put it right next to the produce in my grocery store so I often find myself face to bottle with Pinot or Crown Royal. I just don't gaze lovingly at it. The love is gone. I accept that I won't drink it, have decided to never drink it, and I just walk on by. I think the fact that I lived a lot of years sober previously made this quit easier. I already knew it was better on the sober side.

If I can say one thing, it's that I took my sobriety for granted. When I quit the first time (for 18 years) I just quit, no "recovery," no admission of being an alcoholic out loud to a room of people, no banner announcement. It just needed to happen. When I drank again it didn't have a big meaning or shame or guilt involved; like I've said before, it was just a thoughtless act brought on by wanting to speed up and slow down life. I wanted to change how I felt. Now that I know the depths of despair of real daily round the clock drinking, I won't make that mistake again.

That's why I check in here daily at 5+ years sober. I don't want to forget. I forget who I am at my peril.

WeThinkNot

I'm not worried about the drinking it's the potential social anxiety. I'm an introvert and suffered from avoidant personality disorder in the past although it's much better now than it used to be. Regular social events don't bother me because I always have the option to leave if I'm not feeling it. On a boat my only option is to jump overboard.

I'm feeling like I'm going to skip it but part of me wants to go for no other reason than to man up. Plus spending a Saturday evening overlooking the city while listening to some great 80s tunes does sound appealing.

MesaMan

.
Kaily ~

First, congrats on your 9 Months in. That's a Life-changer in that it is some serious time of normalizing Sobriety. Well done!

We were down in AZ, and came across this massive Grocery Store outside Town. VERY handy. Everthing we needed to restock the RV Trailer. Arizona being The Libertarian Land Of Open Carry [holstered Pistols anywhere in full view], and Booze galore, I found I had parachuted unknowingly into Grocery Store LiquorLand. I even took a Pic that me laughing at the absurdity of pervasive Booze Culture. A Store Display had Fresh Donuts in a Rack by the Self-Checkout Registers. On the same Rack were Shooters of 'Fireball' [Cinnamon-flavored Whisky]. 'Mmmmmm' [make Homer Simpson sound here]: 'Donuts and Whisky'. This Store had a yuge Wine Selection, and a Wine Tasting/Snacks area that kinda blew me away. Massive! AND, open from 11 AM to 8 PM. Cop a buzz before Noon. Cruise the Cereal section. And, don't forget the Milk, eh?

The Bad News: yah, it's in our Faces constantly, and that ain't gonna change. The Good News: as Sober becomes The New Normal, and the AV gets smacked down repeatedly into irrelevance, I just don't care anymore. I guess it's like living near a Train Track. The constant 'Booze Noise' all around you, like Train noise, becomes a non-issue.

I had a rare drinking dream Night before last. I did a couple of Shots in a weird situation, and woke up thinking 'WTF did I do that for'? I treat these like any other Dream. I dream about a Childhood Dog. A Kiddie Fishing Trip with Dad. And, times while hammered in Scotland. I'm not 'Recovered' when I no longer have drinking Dreams, anymore than I can delete Childhood Dog Dreams. I'm Self-Recovered when I take power over such Dreams, and not let them spook me. Just as Booze in the Aisles doesn't spook me anymore. If I don't lust over that 'First One' anymore - or delude myself into thinking I can have 'just one' - Fear and uncertainty dissipate.

See my Sig Line below.

WeThinkNot ~ From one Social Introvert to another. It was an unforgettable Epiphany when I realized I couldn't Booze myself into being an Extrovert. Oppressive weight lifted...

~ The Science Of Why Introverts & Extroverts Are Different ~
.

Hawkeye13

I am mostly not triggered by booze displays in the grocery store but I make a point to not go down the aisles or go to a liquor store at all in early sobriety or if I feel any twinges of craving for a drink.

Although I have a relatively "easy quit" compared to many, this last year's relapses really humbled me in terms of staying quit. I got cocky and listened to the siren song of moderation.

Now I am cultivating my "inner Odysseus" and stopping my ears with recovery and tying myself to the mast.

STDragon

In my little corner of the Hundred Acre woods, there is some separation between alcohol sales and retail stores as it's a union run government monopoly. All booze sales are in their own retail space. Some years back it was announced that booze would be sold in grocery stores. But that turned out to be a walled off retail outlet within the grocery store. So for the most part it's easy for me to avoid.

But they do give Airmiles, which I think is ridiculous.

Loving the pictures and stories!

dpac414

I clearly didn't read your post very well, WeThinkNot, sorry about that.

However, I think maybe asking a friend to go along is still a good idea. Just as a social crutch, unless that doesn't help your social anxiety?

SnoozyQ

Oh darling I would take that cruise!

You weren’t living whilst you were drinking and now you are. Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zone to live.

Imagine the music ...OMG I LOVE 80s music . I play it when I do my housework ( which isn’t a lot ) but there is just something so happy about that music and era that you just HAVE TO GO.

Be brave, DO IT. oh the memories, you will never forget it.

Go and book STAT !

SnoozyQ

How awesome Dragon, I love this story :grin: