WeThinkNot

Marvel couldn't hope to conceive of a character with a superpower as amazing as sobriety.

Once I got into the rhythm of my recovery it slowly dawned on me just how easy life is. Back then I was using the majority of my energy to hold the razor thin veneer of my life together while being active in addiction. The analogy I like to use is I had spent my whole adult life driving on the freeway while the emergency brake was engaged.

I had been playing the game of life in the most advanced difficulty setting. Now that I'm sober everything is ridiculously easy in comparison. Excelling in my job is easy. Setting boundaries with people is easy. Sticking to an exercise regimen is easy. Saving money is easy. The best part is it gets easier and easier the more time I accumulate.

I used to be sad that I had flushed my 20s and 30s down the toilet but I've changed my perspective. The way I view it now is that I've done all the hard stuff in life upfront and gotten it out of the way. Now I just need to continue being disciplined in recovery and it's easy sailing from here on out.

dpac414

Hey all new weekenders! Glad you could join us.

I have been on an 'up' since after the 4th. Grateful I was able to make it through the holiday and increase my sober muscles. This is my last weekend home before I go on vacation, and I am already preparing for the challenge by bolstering my plan to extend over a week, but I feel confident in it. I might go so far as to get a temp sponsor, but we'll see.

Sobriety really is freedom. I am finally thinking about my future and what I want to do, and it feels really good to not be gripped with anxiety and fear. Sobriety isn't the only thing that has given me that, but it certainly helps. The steps I need to take to get where I need to go seem like a hill instead of a steep mountain.

Anyway, wishing you all a wonderful Thursday. It started pouring at 7am and I don't think it's gonna stop so it's dreary here, but I feel good. Got my coffee and ready to tackle work.

MLD51

WeThinkNot, great post. I agree - I was making things so hard on myself - I look back now and just shake my head. It all does seem so much easier now. I used to overthink every single thing and get myself worked up over almost nothing. I was afraid of pretty much everything. My anxiety level was always through the roof. I had a really negative outlook, in general. Some of that, I think, was my brain chemistry being out of whack because of booze, but some of it was also that I was making my own life so much more difficult, and deep down, I knew it. Just didn't see a way out, until I realized in a flash one night that I had to quit drinking. Even then, I was not sure what the results would be, but surely, it had to be better than the life I was living.

I made that serenity prayer the basis of my life in the early days. I repeated it over and over until it sank in. Now it's almost effortless to live that way. When I problem comes up, I know deep in my soul there's a solution. It might not be MY solution, and that's ok. Living mostly fear-free is so great.

saoutchik

In!

Welcome to Weekenders ShenzyT, Foggyriver, Rose335, Missy2 and Lucinda2! Great to see new faces. The Weekends are that little bit tougher and present a few additional challenges to those of a regular weekday so it's a good idea to have a thread that recognises this and helps us to navigate our way through it.

Congratulations on passing 1000 days sober Dragon, fantastic! You too for 2000 MesaMan.

Regular Weekender Andyh has not posted yet but he is a keen cricket fan and I have a feeling he will be in a good mood.

Great OP Mags! Quit, loss, bereavement, self denial - all these words were were prominent features of my own thought process early in recovery and you see them alluded to over and over. I think that's because as users we develop a form of Stockholm Syndrom which for younger people who may not have heard of the term was when some people taken captive by bank robbers developed positive feelings to their captors and alcohol was definitely my captor and gaoler. After a time, six months or so it really did feel like freedom from captivity and I had been a captive for so long I had forgotten what it felt like. On a personal level it was a miracle...

andyh

welcome newbies & congratulation millenials Dragon & MesaMan

I was going to come over all Bjørge Lillelien but I shall be gracious in victory & not mention sandpaper once. at least until the start of The Ashes anyway.

hope everyone is doing well.

mariposa

saoutchik

Just give it time Mariposa, lots of people on SR (me included) mention brain fog or something similar, it lasted a year with me. I guess the brain has to adjust its chemistry to not being regularly poisoned.

Andy I had better explain Bjørge Lillelien or else you'll have bim on the case.



Btw I don't really know who some of the names were - Sir Anthony Eden?

biminiblue

Thank you, but even with that explanation I have no idea what you're talking about, Sao.

To be fair, I could not care any less about sports other than America's Cup (is that a sport?) so no need for explanations!

I've been kinda sick all day, not sure if it's food poisoning or what - kinda seems like it. I tried to take my walk but had to come home. Wah.

Macaroni1234

dpac414

Second what Sao said, Mariposa. Give yourself a little time and see how you feel. I personally need to take anti-depressants to help my brain do its thing, but not drinking not only allows the meds to work, but make any adjustments. Just give yourself time, then assess the situation.

Lila, we are happy to have you. Anyone can join at any time, and I hope you decide to make the next three days sober and hang out with us.

I am exhausted as always. Good day today though. I watched the rest of Stranger Things 3 and cried really hard, which felt good. Highly recommend. Cleaned my bathroom and took out more trash, and my apartment is shaping up nicely. Just need to buy a new vacuum cuz mine decided to die after almost 10 years of service . :') Tomorrow is Friday and then I'm closing shift at the zoo this weekend so I'll be able to sleep in til at least 9:30, which is rad. I love days where alcohol doesn't even cross my mind when I'm not on here, and today was one of them. They're more frequent and I feel good about it.

Night all.

Mags1

Morning Weekenders

Friday as arrived at last! Hooray for all the weekday workers!

Mariposa, I had so much brain fog, confusion and anxiety when I stopped drinking. To be fair I’d treat my brain and body shabbily for a lot of years, it took some adjusting to settle it down. (Though I didn’t realise at the time!)

Thank goodness I had SR because I was blaming everything else, my marriage, my job, not the most obvious thing, what the booze had done to me all these years! I’d stopped drinking, what did I expect.

I was given some great words of wisdom from members of SR and the most I heard where ‘don’t do any big changes in the first year of being sober’ and ‘keep on your side of the street, concern yourself with that’. Two valuable comments I begrudgingly used only to find out it was some of the most valuable words I’d heard, unbeknowingly.

I’m visiting my sister and bil near Pickering today. They’ve gone for a few days break in a caravan.

Have a good day Weekenders , it’s great to see some new faces here this weekend

saoutchik

Welcome to Weekenders Lila, stick around here and SR generally as everyone here started at day one and knows what you are going through.

Bim, I think that back then England losing to Norway was a surprise to both nations. No one would bat an eyelid today.

Happy Friday Mags, happy Friday gang.

andyh

morning all.

hope you are feeling better today Bim.

ShenzyT

Morning everyone,
Feeling a bit nervous about today …. it's being playing on my mind since I woke up.
I do not want to drink this evening...….but I'm scared I cave.....
This will be my 1st sober weekend in a very long time …..got on the scales this morning, I'm almost 40lbs over weight, I'm positive that I want to get back to exercising today and over the weekend....but I'm so afraid I mess it all up in that moment of weakness / madness this evening.

How did everyone else deal with their 1st sober weekend ?

xx

andyh

do you have a plan of what you're going to do tonight Shenzy? ie where you're going to be to avoid temptations, triggers, etc. what you're going to be doing to distract yourself - it can be fun stuff, or useful stuff. I found that if I didn't have anything planned to do then the temptation is more likely to occur & easier to give in to.

biminiblue

Well.

Anyone who doesn't believe in a power greater than them needs to get awakened by an earthquake at 3AM. Because 3AM isn't scary enough ~~~>>BOOM<< Shake, rattle, roll, weird crashing noises. The whole nine. 4.6, shallow quake just a few miles from me. It went on for 10-15 seconds. That's long enough, for anyone who's been through an earthquake like that. I just mentioned "earthquake" the day before yesterday when we were outside looking at the fantastic new siding/building. In my drinking days I would have been convinced it was somehow magically tied to me that I had mentioned it and then it happened.

I was pretty nuts.

Ha.

Andy, thanks. I didn't eat much yesterday and I still don't feel great, but better than yesterday.

ShenzyT, I went to an AA meeting on the first Saturday I was sober. It was a womens' only meeting, and it was a good thing for me. It was the first meeting I went to. I was d.o.n.e. with drinking though - there was no doubt in my mind, so I guess that was not my issue. I went looking for people, and what I got was a bunch of support offered and a lot of people who had been there. I was way too afraid of my own shadow, so I needed that. It was comforting. I also took a lot of walks, and stayed away from anything that would have been upsetting, like the news or negative people.

PhoenixJ

post lots Shenzy

Forwards

Hi Weekenders - I'm in! Great to see some newcomers here...

Thanks for the thread Mags, I remember vividly being desperate for a drink. The shame of buying cheap cider with my last remaining pennies, terrified of the withdrawals that would follow if I couldn't was all encompassing. I was a physical and mental wreck and scared of everything.

Now at 6 and a half months I'm beginning to take pride in my sobriety, my health, my work, my appearance etc. and my confidence is gradually growing. There's Still a lot of work to do though - I have burnt so many bridges during the last 21 years of drinking they're going to take time to rebuild. Socially I'm still very behind. I'm just hoping that by doing the right things, with gratitude, some caution and a healthy dose of humility things will fall into place as they should.

Anyway, bring on another sober weekend. Lots of technical reading to do as the family are away (I'm trying to broaden my horizons) and hopefully a couple of long walks if we have some sunshine.

Warm wishes to all. Forwards.

WhoDeyPI

Hey ya'll! Man, these weeks are just flying by, already the weekend again....NOT complaining. Volunteered to watch a little puppy over the weekend, so I'm pretty excited about that. Also have my buddy's 40s birthday party Saturday night....he was diagnosed with brain cancer about the same time I was diagnosed with my issues....so our bond is pretty strong.

Here's the kicker....he's a drinker, and has a whiskey collection. He's asking for unique new whiskeys for his birthday. So....I'll be heading to the liquor store for the first time since I got sober 218 days ago. I'm not worried at all though

MLD51

Happy Friday, sober superheroes!

I was thinking about you this morning when I heard about the earthquake, Bim. They are pretty scary. I was stationed in Monterey, CA in October of 1989 when the Loma Prieta quake hit. The epicenter was about 30 miles from us. Something about the geology spared Monterey from any significant damage, but we sure felt the shaking, and the many many aftershocks that went on for months. We had no electricity for something like 3-4 days, and we were told not to drink the water for a couple of days. When the news from the San Francisco/Oakland area started to filter to us, we were horrified. It was just awful. My son and I are visiting San Francisco and points south, including Monterey in a few weeks, we are hoping the ground doesn't decide to shake while we are there.

Our town is having its annual town festival. Lots of activities, live music everywhere, parade, fireworks (last night, I could have seen them from the field right behind my house, but I was cozy in bed and didn't go outside), tractor pulls, food booths, the whole nine yards. And drinking. lots and lots and lots of drinking. I used to love going to the bars and running into people I grew up with who came back to town for the festivities. It was usually pretty much a sh*t show. Now, I try to ignore it as much as possible. The only thing I always do is go to an outdoor concert on Sunday (at a bar, but in their parking lot) because it's a band made up of guys I went to high school with and had this band way back in the day. They re-unite once a year to do this, and it's a ton of fun. Lots of alumni come to town for that, so I go and drink my club soda and enjoy catching up with people. There's also a classic car show on Sunday, and my man friend and I never miss that. The contrast between how I "do" this festival then and now is amazing. I love the way I do it now.