andyh

morning all - Happy Sunday.

thanks Kaily.

that's what it's all about for me. not drinking is *not* a deprivation. life is so much better for me sober that it's a no-brainer, which is handy for a bear of little brain like me.

hope everyone is doing well.

Manta - how are you (& the new kitten) ?

ShenzyT

Morning everyone.
xxx

Foggyriver

I didn’t make it yesterday. I went to the fish store to shop for dinner. It was packed with people ordering lobster rolls, and they were doing a wine tasting. I felt as if I were being zapped with electricity while I was in there. The thought of drinking felt so scary but so inevitable. I made it out of the shop okay, but then I let the thought take over. So today is day one again for me. I really want to live life sober. The choice I made yesterday did nothing to further my goals in life, it did nothing beneficial for my health, and it convinced me that drinking is a dead-end road. I am sorry to you, and I am sorry to myself.

Kaily

Sorry you didn't make it this time Foggyriver. You will be ready to bash down that sort of AV attack next time. Ever vigilant is the key.

I understand what you mean completely about the feeling of being zapped by electricity, up until very recently I felt like that every time I was near alcohol in the supermarket. Actually I would literally feel dizzy / giddy being anywhere near it. Still happens sometimes but not all times now so definitely improving. Healing takes time.

Glad your back and posting.

Foggyriver

Thank you so much, Kaily. I so appreciate your words. The thing was, it didn’t even change my mood. It wasn’t fun. It basically made me tired so all I wanted to do was go to sleep (which I did). So, now I really know, or I hope I know and will always remember, that drinking just IS NOT WORTH IT! My other problem is that I don’t really get hangovers. I just over time get weight gain and bloating. I don’t feel all that bad today, except for the guilt. You are right—bash down that AV—smash it to the ground!

STDragon

Hang in there mariposa, time will help, thing's will get better.

1000 sober days today and not once did I regret not drinking the night before. Luv all you guys and gals here,it's becasue of you I've managed to get this far. On to the next 1000!

theVman31

Hola
Thx Sao.
Happy 1000th Dragon.
Thx all for lifting my spirits

Music festival was a great fun.
It was a metal festival which I help organize.
Alot of us ended up in my house afterwards.
I went swimming at 04h00. That's a record
Anyways didn't drink as crazy as the AV has been making me. Had to look after alot of drunk people last night though. Something rewarding in that.

Later weekenders

Rose335

I've just read this whole thread (I was without the internet Friday night and most of Saturday) hence a bit late in postinG. I've found all of it really interesting, informative and actually inspiring. I can identify with everything everyone has said, except for one thing. The obvious joy and contentment that SR people with lots of alcohol-free time under their belt have expressed and genuinely feel. That's my aspiration and I believe it's achievable but at 23 days I've got a bit of a way to go. I think the problem (my problem) with not being far enough from non-drinking yet is that it's so easy still to romanticise it and see it not only as the only option but as the best option! Ridiculous as I know in my logical mind but when my friend said to me yesterday 'let's have a Campari and orange, it's the perfect summer drink' my initial thought was good idea. And when another friend said last week let's hear it for champagne and offered me a glass, again it seemed like the perfect sentiment. And so on..... it would never be a good idea or a perfect sentiment in my case because I have absolutely no off button when it comes to wine. And that's quite simply all I have to remember right now. I have had so many days ones and I never, ever, want to go through another one. And I hate the fact that it would take only seconds to ruin my winning streak. This is a roundabout way of saying thanks to everyone who has posted on this thread because I find every single insight helpful. And one thing is clear. In the early days we just have to keep on fighting.

WaterOx

Been having some ups and downs on the sober roller coaster of life this weekend. Fortunately the cravings seem to have lifted.....subject to change without notice

Glad to be here Sunday morning and sober.

Sober369

I've been meaning to look at this thread all weekend, and I wish I had on Friday. Weekends are the best and the worst. So great to be sober, such a drag that everyone else thinks it's time to drink. Really, though, my worst danger time is coming home from work. But I have a plan for pre trip home tomorrow. I'll meditate on how good it feels to wake up sober, feeling not so bad at all, and having the whole day ahead. It's priceless! I a super tired now though, and am going to try for a nap. Puppy up early again. I'm on day five and still feeling anxiety, but I have things going on in my life that I would be nuts if I wasn't anxious.
Happy Sunday to all, I really enjoy reading your posts!

Mags1

Hi Sober369, welcome to the Weekenders

Rose, I agree, it is achievable to have joy and contentment from sobriety. Like all things we have to do some ‘leg work’. To help us over the bumps and obstacles in the road ahead, but it still beats being on the Edge we tottered on in our drinking days.

Rose335

Thanks Mags. Totally agree. (My husband just came back from dropping off the recycling and commented on how few bottles he dumped. Since its day 23 for me that'll be at least 20 (wine) bottles less! Just about as embarrassing as it gets). If that doesn't inspire me to do the legwork I don't know what will.

theVman31

Well done Rose and welcome Karen. Nice reading your post too...
Stay strong WaterOx !

One last song for this weekend. Have to say I am becoming a Bradley fan
Yikes

Lucinda2

10 days here Rose335 and I am 'faking it to make it' a bit. I think that the language I give myself about the journey is important. So I am reminding myself continually of the positive and playing down the tough stuff.

Today I have teetered on the edge all day, sitting at the waters edge in the sunshine with my MIL who is drinking my favourite wine and telling me that ' should do what I want' and join her in a glass of wine. The thing is that I do want a glass of wine, of course, I do. It is early days and addiction beckons. But also 'what I want' is to be AF and reach a place where this just isn't temptation anymore.

I reckon that you are right that it is achievable with time under our belt. I am hanging in there and trying to be gracious/positive but boy do I want a drink. I am acutely aware that MIL is going to be opening the bottle of wine in the fridge shortly.

I look forward to taking this journey with you and reaching the place of 'obvious joy and contentment'. Even in 10 days I have glimpses of it and am feeling much better. It is easy to forget that when cravings and AV kicks in though. In those times I think that life is just a miserable bunch of cravings and deprivation. But actually, overall I have had a pretty good week. I suspect the same may be true for you as you have made 23 days which is just fab!

WeThinkNot

The phrase "it gets better" used to infuriate me. What the hell does that even mean anyways? How can somebody guarantee that things get better but at the same time tell me that life must be lived on life's terms?

I didn't understand either back then. All I could do was to have faith that one day I would have what was promised to me.

First I resolved that I was genuinely done with my drinking and vowed to go to any lengths to stay sober. In the earliest days my first acts in my new life were to slay my demons and to forgive everybody in my life. This isn't lip service. I got a quiet, private space and relived all of the hurtful things in my life. There was no crying, more like uncontrollable sobbing as I unearthed things which had been on the periphery of my conscience for too damn long. When that was finished I swore two things. First that I could not undo the things that had been done but they would no longer be an anchor on my mind, heart, and soul. Second that everybody in my life was forgiven. Some people are never welcome to speak to me again but they no longer get free rent in my head. With the dirty work finished it was time to rebuild my life.

That started with meditating and practicing gratitude. My mood swings were horrible in the early days but I always tried to ground myself and remind myself I had so much to be grateful for. Namely the fact that I was somehow still alive after that last awful detox.

Then I took inventory of the people in my life. Some people were not good for my sobriety so they had to go, no questions asked. Non negotiable. Some people I reconnected with and our bonds are stronger than they had previously been.

Finally I set life goals for myself for the first time ever. I have identified my life mission and I've broken down my goals into short term, mid term, and long term objectives. No longer do I sleepwalk through life, now I know what my purpose is every morning when I get out of bed.

Doing all these things, little by little, day by day, and you slowly realize that your confidence and self esteem are increasing. You start to feel happier and more secure in your sobriety. Then one day it hits you: you have learned to love yourself.

I had never known how to love myself in nearly 40 years of existence on this planet. I thought I was a lost cause, that I was doomed to live the awful life I was living until the sweet release of death came.

Now I am happy, healthy, and sane and alcohol has absolutely ZERO hold over me. I actually feel a bit sorry for my AV as it is completely overmatched by the defenses I have erected.

It got better for me. There is no reason it can't get better for you too.

saoutchik

Welcome to Weekenders Sober369, love the avatar- he or she is a fine looking pooch.

Well done for posting the day after a slip Foggyriver, it is not easy to do that but the fact that you have bodes well for the future in my opinion. Hardly anyone succeeds at their first attempt or second or third, I know I certainly didn't. Staying close to forums such as these is important because you absorb little bits of knowledge here and there (subconsciously sometimes I suspect) which leads you down the path to sobriety. A bit like acquiring sections of a treasure map.

On a wider note for anyone who is reading this but who has not quit yet do join in - the Weekenders thread is as much if not more for people who want to quit but have not got there yet as it is for people with sober time because being a drunk is horrible, soul destroying and not a situation that anyone wants to remain in and you don't have to. This thread and others on SR helps you to see the wood from the trees.

Congratulations on 23 days Rose335!

Hang in there WaterOx.

Sending positive vibes Mariposa, Willow, Kaily.

Many congratulations on 1000 stylishly sober days STDragon! Excellent.

Foggyriver

Thanks to everyone for your words of wisdom. I will take them to heart. Much better day today, and going to bed sober tonight. Thanks again.

STDragon

WeThinkNot, that was a most excellent post.

Thanks Sao & Vman. Next goal is 3 years.

I spent most of the day today playing my Uke. I recently came up with a cord pattern that begs to have a story told. So I sat on the swing out front listening to the birds and looking at the sky and trees. All while playing those cords and trying to get in touch with my care free youth. It was so long ago and difficult to conjure up. Plus my olde memory doesn't co-operate very well. I would like to write a song, I think that would be cool, but I can't put words together very well. My instructor is a singer/song writer/story teller and she has some of the neatest material.

dpac414

Mags1

Morning Weekenders

Monday here already!

Congratulations Dragon, 1000 is a great achievement!

Dpac, I’m pleased all went well at the zoo.

Vinny, I absolutely love that song ‘Shallow’. It’s funny how some songs just touch your heart! I liked Bradley in ‘American Sniper’ brill film if you’ve not seen it. Come to think of it it’s a brill film if you have seen it!

We seem to be having a few dull mornings which turn into sunny afternoons just lately. What weird and wonderful weather we have.

Another sober morning and free to drive my car without any worries I may be hungover from the weekend. I used to worry so much, wondering if I was clear of booze from a weekends binge and thinking I probably wasn’t. Glad those days are behind me.