bodhi01

Well good luck to you. You've proved you can do it for the longterm and this time around you'll have an even greater arsenal of knowledge to stay sober for good.

JoePenner

Day 20. Don't seem to be craving alcohol but I know the urge will pop up its ugly head here soon. Something will happen to trigger me, I just know it, it always does. Got to be ready to fight.

My wife gets back tomorrow. It's been a hard, weird week without her here. I hope she's ready to come back, she's been having so much fun she may not want to.

Had an aortic ultrasound yesterday, part of my wellness program. Haven't seen the results yet but the when I left the tech held my hand and said "good luck to you sir". What? Now I'm nervous!

Hevyn

I hope you & your wife have a happy reunion.
Let us know how your results are. The tech probably says that routinely to everyone.

JoePenner

Week 4. Picked up my wife at the airport yesterday, it was so awesome to see her, and have her back. I couldn't stop talking to her last night, I was probably driving her crazy but I haven't had anyone to talk to for over a week. I work from home and by myself.

My hands have all but stopped shaking. It took three weeks for that to happen.

Still waiting on my test results. I assume if it was something serious they would have gotten ahold of me by now. But who knows. My wife has had an incurable autoimmune disease for 21 years and I learned a long time ago that we have assume responsibility for our own health and not rely on doctors. It's imperative that we work with our doctors and not leave everything to them.

Looking forward to a more productive week as my focus and energy return. I have absolutely NO desire to drink. I DO NOT want to go back to where I was when I got here 3 weeks ago. I'm afraid that I'd die if I did.

nez

Triggers happen, but I don't have to pull the trigger. Triggers are just thoughts, nothing else. Pulling the trigger is an action. I can't control my thoughts. I can control my actions. I am responsible for my actions, not my thoughts.

JoePenner

Came back normal! You were right Hevyn!

Dee74

Congrats on 4 weeks Jo

D

JoePenner

Day 23. Thanks for the congrats Dee but I have to finish the week to get to week 5. It will happen!

I still feel a little "different" in sobriety. Different in the sense that I still expect to feel like dirt when I wake up and go through the day. I'm not "used" to being sober yet. I was drunk out of my mind for so long my brain was trained to consider it to be "normal". Now it's retraining itself to think sobriety is "normal". I hope

JoePenner

Today they found a body in the river below my house. It was a guy who wandered away from a bar in town at 1:40AM about 5 days ago and hadn't been seen since. 53 year old.

I was thinking: "There but for the grace of God go I". How sad, he just got married 2 months ago.

Dee74

What a waste. I feel for his friends and family.

D

JoePenner

Day 24. Feeling pretty strong today. Went to bed around 10 last night, up at 6 this morning. Now THAT'S a switch! Thinking about going back to spinning, there's a great studio in town that I was using for a while, while I was sober for a few weeks back in Apr/May. Starting to visualize myself as I was when I stopped drinking for 8 years. Taking it slow and easy, however. I don't want something to upset me and wake up the AV. One of the nice things about being older is that fewer things bother me. I feel like that insurance commercial, "we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two". I've seen quite a few things!

August252015

Ugh, Joe - too many stories like that....

Yesterday, I had a gut wrench - I drove by a bar that a dear friend of mine probably still goes to daily and the sign outside said "Relationship problems? Drink em away"....my first thought was that he is alone in his mid 50s, knows he is an alcoholic and periodically plays with moderation or rules around his drinking. I just couldn't stay in his life actively when I quit but it makes me so sad to think of where he probably is....

Glad you are working at a whole other kind of life- and have a family too!!

JoePenner

Thanks August. That is a sad story about your friend, sounds awful. And that sign! Unreal, and so untrue.

I'm working on that new life, believe me! I know it's there for me.

Zevin

Congrats on 24 days Joe! I just read your entire thread and was nervous when your wife went out of town, lol!
I'm going to a work-out class and then an AA meeting. Your positive posts have helped me tremendously.
Thanks!

JoePenner

Zevin I am so happy that I've been able to help you! That means a lot to me. We need each other to win the battle, that I know for a fact. Thanks again, and keep up the good work! Where's your thread so I can follow? You inspired me to reread my thread! It's a great way to maintain perspective and boost confidence.

How do I follow threads anyway? I'm relearning forum navigation!

Dee74

you can subscribe to any thread Joe - if you're in the desktop version of the site you should see 'thread tools' at the top of the thread - click that and 'subscribe to this thread' is one of the options.

You'll get an email every time a new post is posted in that thread.

If too many emails will bother you (it does me) just bookmark your favorite threads through your browser

D

JoePenner

Thank you Dee, I'll go the bookmark route.

Today is day 25. Right now my allergies are taking precedent, they're horrible. I coughed and sneezed for 4 hours after I went to bed. I even had an asthma attack. Good thing I'm sober! I can't even imagine a hangover combined with allergies.

Zevin

I'm not sure I have a thread. I just sort of randomly comment or complain on other peoples posts.

JoePenner

You should start a thread! Or, as we called them in WQD, a journal. WQD meant We Quit Drinking and it's what got me through 8 years of sobriety. It's gone now, kinda sad about that. Some of the old users are here, I'm looking for more. I may start a thread on that myself.

JoePenner

Day 26. Had a dream this morning where I was at some kind of a function and decided to have a beer. I took a few sips and then I was freaking out about blowing my sobriety. I think I was in such a panic I woke up. I remember having this dream before, several times in fact, the last time I quit. I remember one where I was drinking in a closet by myself. Freaking AV, even gets into my dreams. Other than the dream I'm doing well. Hope to hit a spin class tomorrow morning. We're having afternoon monsoons now, supposed to be very rainy tomorrow.