Slippery Slope 3
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Made it to day 3. Slept much better last night, only a few night sweats. Been reading a lot of the posts. It's so obvious we all suffer in the same ways and have so much in common. At times they're hard to read because I start crying hearing that others suffered in the same way I did. I wouldn't wish alcoholism on anybody (maybe some politicians, lol). Yesterday afternoon I felt myself getting tired from working all day. I turned off my computer and forced myself to stop. I keep remembering HALT, and tired for me was definitely a cue to drink. Had a nice dinner of grilled salmon and drank some club soda with lemonade. It was refreshing without the alcohol in it. I spoke with my daughter yesterday. She is really pissed at me and that hurt me badly. I know she wants her dad back. We used to cycle and ski together all the time. I want to be the dad she had before I slipped. I want to start cycling again and lose weight. I've ballooned from about 180 to 225 because of my drinking and lack of exercise over the past few years. Meeting with my doc next week and looking forward to coming up with a plan to get back on track. I had an elite level of fitness, not sure if I'll get that back but I want to try. Just hope I haven't done any major damage to my health. I'm lucky in that my DNA allows me to just stop drinking without any major physical withdrawal systems. I just have to fix my brain.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Your brain will fix itself if you stop drinking. Your kids will be yours again if you stop drinking. So will your spirit and physique and money, everything. Speaking from experience on those very issues. I know you know these things, but they bear repeating. Your life is yours to earn back. Do the work.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 4. Stayed up until 1AM this morning watching the Godfather. Latest I've stayed up in a long time, usually passed out by 10PM. Slept all night and even had dreams. My wife is so much more relaxed with me sober. On Monday she looked like death warmed over, today she was in a much better mood. Drinking a ton of fluids as I seem to be very thirsty. Energy level picking back up. Still having issues working, I was drinking to avoid it. One thing I know for sure is that I never want to spend another day in bed, binging. The thought actually scares me. One of the morning shows from Denver had a segment on cowboy liquors. I couldn't watch it. No drinking today, grilling some ribs and I'll be drinking club soda with a splash of lemonade. My headache seems to finally going away, too. My hands are still a bit shaky, hope that subsides. Gearing up to fight the AV, I know it will pop here soon, it always does after I start feeling better.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Congratulations on your Day 4, Joe. Staying distracted with movies is helpful. I'm glad you're remaining vigilant. The horror of my last binge stayed with me for a very long time. (I wish I'd written down all the details to refer to.) You said the thought of going back there scares you - and that's a good thing.
Well done.
Well done.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 5. Got to bed last night around 11:30. Woke up around 6 this morning, it was freezing in our bedroom, around 58F, and about 43F outside. We live at almost 10,000 feet so cold is normal. Slept well, had some vivid dreams. Felt the AV yesterday around dinner time but I quashed it by thinking about the pain of the day after. Trying to get some work done today but not very successful. I have one project that I hate to do that's been blocking me from moving forward. I have to get it done this afternoon. Definitely thinking more clearly and rationally. Getting worried, my wife is going out of town next Saturday for a week to visit her family and some friends. I don't want to be home alone. I may go to Mexico for a week and see some friends there. I'm not sure which is the lesser of the two evils. I'm just afraid if I stay home I'll slip because I'll be bored and have nothing to do. At least in Mexico I can hang out on the beach or by the pool, swim, etc. I've been there plenty of times sober so I think I can deal with it. A change of scenery might do me good. I'm getting antsy for cycling again, aerobic exercise is the one sure thing that helps me stay sober and clears my head.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 6. So far so good. Sleeping better for sure. It's nice to know when I wake up my headache is from allergies and not a hangover! So happy to be hitting a week tomorrow. Thank you SR!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 7. Man, that went fast. Got my first bike ride of the season yesterday with my daughter, 22 miles. She's been bugging me like crazy to ride with her. We used to ride together all the time until my drinking took over. I rode slow and she took off like a bat out of hell. My legs feel surprisingly good. I was scared as hell to go, but it really wasn't that bad. In fact, it was fun.
I know there is a long way to go and I hope the AV doesn't start raising its ugly head.
I know there is a long way to go and I hope the AV doesn't start raising its ugly head.
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