Slippery Slope 3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 27. Starting to feel cooped up. Slept in with my wife and missed spin today. I HAVE to start cycling seriously. Going out with my daughter tomorrow, it's supposed to be a nice day. Been watching the Tour de France, just like I did when I was sober. I love it. No urges to drink but if I don't start getting some aerobic exercise soon I could be in trouble. My reward for sobriety is, and always has been, cycling and skiing. That's why I live here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 28! How in the world did that happen? This place is so awesome, no way could I be here without it. I feel so lucky that these forums exist. I still think about my last few benders and how much I NEVER want to go back there. The more time that passes since my last one the more incredulous I become that I ever let myself do that. What in the world was I thinking? I could have died. I'm realizing how much I am loved by my family and how devastated they would be if I did die like that. I always thought about how devastated I'd be if something happened to them, but I never turned it around and put myself in their shoes and thought about how they feel about me. I was raised in a foster family and there was little, if any, love in our house. I think that makes it harder for me to understand how others feel, especially when it comes to love. Growing up feeling unlovable really did a number on me. My father being an alcoholic added fuel to the fire. Well, enough of that, on to week 5!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Thank you Dee and Tatsy and August! I appreciate your support very much!
Day 29. Finally got out and rode with my daughter yesterday, about 21 miles. Had to walk up some steep hills I used to be able to ride, but that gives me a reference point. I WILL be able to ride them soon. It feels great to be sober and not have the monkey of alcohol on my back all the time. I'm still mending relationships, I'm not too sure my wife is completely with me yet. I said some pretty awful things to her in my last bender. I'm working on it, trying to regain her trust. Every day brings new challenges in this new sober life, but I'm up for it.
Day 29. Finally got out and rode with my daughter yesterday, about 21 miles. Had to walk up some steep hills I used to be able to ride, but that gives me a reference point. I WILL be able to ride them soon. It feels great to be sober and not have the monkey of alcohol on my back all the time. I'm still mending relationships, I'm not too sure my wife is completely with me yet. I said some pretty awful things to her in my last bender. I'm working on it, trying to regain her trust. Every day brings new challenges in this new sober life, but I'm up for it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Thank you Dee and Hevyn! Today is day 31, I've been sober the entire month of July! I haven't been sober for a month for 4 years, since I relapsed. Ready to fight the AV even harder in August. We're planning to do a bunch of remodeling on our house. Being sober I can concentrate on that. I could never do that drinking. New kitchen, bath, windows, paint, carpet, paving, stain. Looking forward so much to it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Congratulations on a whole month, Joe, that’s a real milestone! The house remodelling sounds like a great project to occupy you, and assist with swatting off the AV during August. I found the first 90 days were foundational and that the AV diminished in both frequency and volume, by that point. You’re doing this!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Congratulations on a month!
I'm in the middle of home renovations right now, also. So far new roof, garage door, entry doors. Working on getting the kitchen remodeled right now, and getting new flooring on one whole level. I'm sort of acting as my own contractor, and it's very interesting. I've never done anything quite like this before, and it's kind of fun, but stressful as well. I do have project management in my professional experience, so I know how to schedule and keep track of things. There is no way in heck I'd be having fun with this if I were still drinking. Heck - I probably wouldn't even be doing it.
Have fun with your remodeling!
I'm in the middle of home renovations right now, also. So far new roof, garage door, entry doors. Working on getting the kitchen remodeled right now, and getting new flooring on one whole level. I'm sort of acting as my own contractor, and it's very interesting. I've never done anything quite like this before, and it's kind of fun, but stressful as well. I do have project management in my professional experience, so I know how to schedule and keep track of things. There is no way in heck I'd be having fun with this if I were still drinking. Heck - I probably wouldn't even be doing it.
Have fun with your remodeling!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Day 1 of month 2. Still feeling very afraid of alcohol. Not dwelling on it, but it's in the back of my mind. Drove by the liquor store and had no desire to go in, I probably made a bad face when I saw it. Looking forward to sleeping tonight, that's a change. The client from hell has gotten worse, if that's possible. He's lying about me and that really makes me mad. I had to hire an attorney yesterday to fight his allegations. The guy is, without a doubt, the biggest a-hole I've seen in over 40 years of practice. I had a bad feeling when I started working on his file, I should have quit right then. But no, I have to be nice. Gets me nowhere. Nice isn't for business.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Sorry for wandering off-topic yesterday, I promise not to vent here again. Month 2 day 2. Not much to report, not thinking about drinking at all. Hoping my booze fat starts to dissipate a little faster. Other than that staying vigilant.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Joe - You did nothing wrong. Mentioning things that upset us is necessary sometimes. I'm sorry you're having that frustrating issue with your client. I hope the problem can get resolved quickly.
Congrats on your day 2, month 2.
Congrats on your day 2, month 2.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Not counting days anymore, I think I'll switch to months. Feeling pretty awesome today. Thinking very clearly, getting things done. Cycled with my daughter for 2.5 hours yesterday. Made some climbs I thought I couldn't so that really boosted my confidence. Maybe I'm not in as bad of shape as I expected to be. Went out for dinner at my favorite restaurant in town tonight and sat at the bar so we could talk with the owner, a friend of ours. I had this odd realization that I'm sitting in front of all these bottles of booze and I have no desire to drink any of it. I looked at some Grey Goose (my old standby) and had absolutely no taste for it. That last bender really did me in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Breckenridge Colorado
Posts: 93
Doing well. Got my desk and office cleaned and organized, created a to-do list, got some invoicing done. Had some successful negotiations with the IRS for one of my larger clients. God, I don't know where I went but I'm glad I'm coming back. I don't ever want to drink again. Just not worth it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)
