Excuses, it’s sunny, Excuses, I’m sad, Excuses and more Excuses! Weekenders 14 - 17 June 2019
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm in!
Great topic. It has me thinking. Great shares so far, too. I do love that we feel safe to cough up these stories of what we used to be like here.
I'm going to give this some thought and write a better post later.
Great topic. It has me thinking. Great shares so far, too. I do love that we feel safe to cough up these stories of what we used to be like here.
I'm going to give this some thought and write a better post later.
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
I am in! got very bz weekend and hope to be able to post least once each day if can.
I have a wedding on sat, and meal out on sunday and by myself friday evening so normally that its self would be an excuse, but not this weekend!!!!!!!!
so again no drinking and no excuses xx
i could of also had excuse from this morn work, but i am not drinking tonight either!!!!
have good day xx
I have a wedding on sat, and meal out on sunday and by myself friday evening so normally that its self would be an excuse, but not this weekend!!!!!!!!
so again no drinking and no excuses xx
i could of also had excuse from this morn work, but i am not drinking tonight either!!!!
have good day xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Good topic. I’m in...
My biggest excuse was always my kids.
- They’re driving me nuts
- They won’t stop talking to me
- They're fighting again
- You need help with that, again!
and on and on and on.... poor kids
My “stressful work day” was another handy excuse.
Sober, I’ve come to realize that I have some pretty awesome kids who are just being typical kids. There’s nothing wrong with them... they were just a handy excuse. And work is no more stressful to me than it is to anyone else. I’ve come to learn that every work situation isn’t that big of a deal. I can solve the problems rationally, quickly, and efficiently now.
I’ve got loads of reasons not to drink now. Very happy for it.
My biggest excuse was always my kids.
- They’re driving me nuts
- They won’t stop talking to me
- They're fighting again
- You need help with that, again!
and on and on and on.... poor kids
My “stressful work day” was another handy excuse.
Sober, I’ve come to realize that I have some pretty awesome kids who are just being typical kids. There’s nothing wrong with them... they were just a handy excuse. And work is no more stressful to me than it is to anyone else. I’ve come to learn that every work situation isn’t that big of a deal. I can solve the problems rationally, quickly, and efficiently now.
I’ve got loads of reasons not to drink now. Very happy for it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
[QUOTE=Mags1;7204992]
Welcome to the Weekenders
I found life’s trials and tribulations and life’s delights could trigger me to drink.
In fact I got to the point where any excuse for a drink was a good one! Sad, happy, winter, summer, good days and bad days.
In the end I didn’t need an excuse, it had gotten hold of me and wasn’t letting go. I wasn’t in control any more and didn’t know where it was taking me!
https://postimages.org/]
[/url
I fortunately got a step in the right direction, before I hit rock bottom.
Many situations can be an AV (addictive voice) moment....Deciding whether to feed it or crush it is vital to keeping our sobriety.
https://postimages.org/]
[/url
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat, as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. A new road in the right direction, perhaps?
The Parable: The Tale of Two Wolves
A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at battle.
One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear.
The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”
The grandfather quietly replies, “The one you feed.”
Welcome to the Weekenders
I found life’s trials and tribulations and life’s delights could trigger me to drink.
In fact I got to the point where any excuse for a drink was a good one! Sad, happy, winter, summer, good days and bad days.
In the end I didn’t need an excuse, it had gotten hold of me and wasn’t letting go. I wasn’t in control any more and didn’t know where it was taking me!
https://postimages.org/]
[/urlI fortunately got a step in the right direction, before I hit rock bottom.
Many situations can be an AV (addictive voice) moment....Deciding whether to feed it or crush it is vital to keeping our sobriety.
https://postimages.org/]
[/urlIf this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat, as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. A new road in the right direction, perhaps?
The Parable: The Tale of Two Wolves
A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at battle.
One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear.
The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”
The grandfather quietly replies, “The one you feed.”
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas, US
Posts: 2,478
I told myself I drank for good reasons (excuses). I was satisfied with those reasons. There were ‘positive’ reasons and ‘negative ‘ ones. The positive ones, like others have mentioned were incredibly ridiculous ones: Sunny Day, Cooler Weather (it’s Texas), Rainy weather, icy Weather, Snow, Severe Thunderstorms, laundry, housework, gardening, travel, people coming over, everyone else drinks so I am entitled to, vacation, promotion , cooking,?Birthdays, Holidays, Days, Nights, Weekends.
Then the negative. Was so shocked later on when I came to realize that the negative reasons were either: 1) Normal Life Stuff or 2) stuff or situations directly caused by my drinking! I was broke, sick and unhappy due to alcohol. And no one understood that I had good reasons to drink! Waaa! Yet another excuse ready to go.
What freedom we have today. Happy Weekend Eve!
Xx
R
Then the negative. Was so shocked later on when I came to realize that the negative reasons were either: 1) Normal Life Stuff or 2) stuff or situations directly caused by my drinking! I was broke, sick and unhappy due to alcohol. And no one understood that I had good reasons to drink! Waaa! Yet another excuse ready to go.
What freedom we have today. Happy Weekend Eve!
Xx
R
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
I didn't have excuses to drink. I had sound, well-thought-out reasons to consume daily to Blackout. Just ask me.
I haven't been able to find it again, but there was an excellent Article on *Persistent Stupor*. My recent Search finds only Results pertaining to Surgery-related Painkillers, or Injuries. The aspect I read about a few Years ago was about that Alcoholic State I reached daily of never really being alert, and fully awake. Just kinda half there in The Booze Zone. Especially after waking up, and promptly swilling a few glugs from one of several, hidden Vodka 1.75 L 'Handle' stashes. Kind of a motivation-killer, that Routine...
It still amazes me that there's ~7 Stores in our local Town of ~7,000 People that sell something as addictive as Booze on about any Corner. My memories of how crappy non-Life was back then is my primary Tool to never risk returning to such an awful, marginal existence. Nope. Nope. Nope to the Power Of Infinity.
The upside/reward of all that crapola of entrapped Dependency now being firmly behind me forever is to hang at places like the Bay seen below. The Bluffs make access impossible to all who don't know the Security Gate Code to this Campground. So, I kick around with MesaDog daily while Beach Combing totally alone, and watching small Fishing/Crabbing Boats head out while deftly dodging Bay Rocks.
We're in now-lifting Fog this Morning, so this pending Sober Day is my Pearl to open. Thanks, Mags...
~ Riverboat ~ Robert Palmer & Little Feat ~
I didn't have excuses to drink. I had sound, well-thought-out reasons to consume daily to Blackout. Just ask me.
I haven't been able to find it again, but there was an excellent Article on *Persistent Stupor*. My recent Search finds only Results pertaining to Surgery-related Painkillers, or Injuries. The aspect I read about a few Years ago was about that Alcoholic State I reached daily of never really being alert, and fully awake. Just kinda half there in The Booze Zone. Especially after waking up, and promptly swilling a few glugs from one of several, hidden Vodka 1.75 L 'Handle' stashes. Kind of a motivation-killer, that Routine...
It still amazes me that there's ~7 Stores in our local Town of ~7,000 People that sell something as addictive as Booze on about any Corner. My memories of how crappy non-Life was back then is my primary Tool to never risk returning to such an awful, marginal existence. Nope. Nope. Nope to the Power Of Infinity.
The upside/reward of all that crapola of entrapped Dependency now being firmly behind me forever is to hang at places like the Bay seen below. The Bluffs make access impossible to all who don't know the Security Gate Code to this Campground. So, I kick around with MesaDog daily while Beach Combing totally alone, and watching small Fishing/Crabbing Boats head out while deftly dodging Bay Rocks.
We're in now-lifting Fog this Morning, so this pending Sober Day is my Pearl to open. Thanks, Mags...
~ Riverboat ~ Robert Palmer & Little Feat ~
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Absolutely you can do this Pinky!! x
Dunno the details of what was wrong with the car, some kind of joint or ball bearings or something but cost £155 to fix and running fine now so wasn’t too bad.
I got loads of stuff from the shops today and will be batch cooking tomorrow and Saturday a bunch of tasty stuff I can freeze to make eating healthy easier over next few weeks. So I’ll be making a Slow cooked Thai Massaman Beef and potato curry, a pulled aubergine and chickpea coconut curry, an English veg stew with pearl barley and leeks / carrots and butter beans, some asparagus soup and some carrot and coriander soup, some kale / ginger / celery and apple juice shots. All will be portioned out into meal size portions and popped in the freezer. Should get 12 good meals out of it and 2 weeks of soup for work. x
Dunno the details of what was wrong with the car, some kind of joint or ball bearings or something but cost £155 to fix and running fine now so wasn’t too bad.
I got loads of stuff from the shops today and will be batch cooking tomorrow and Saturday a bunch of tasty stuff I can freeze to make eating healthy easier over next few weeks. So I’ll be making a Slow cooked Thai Massaman Beef and potato curry, a pulled aubergine and chickpea coconut curry, an English veg stew with pearl barley and leeks / carrots and butter beans, some asparagus soup and some carrot and coriander soup, some kale / ginger / celery and apple juice shots. All will be portioned out into meal size portions and popped in the freezer. Should get 12 good meals out of it and 2 weeks of soup for work. x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
I used to drink to celebrate something or to make something more exciting that I considered to be boring (i.e., housework). Now, I've found something to get me through the boring chores besides booze and that is MUSIC! I bought myself a decent pair of bluetooth over-the-ear headphones and they have changed my life! I have so much fun creating playlists for the weekend that I now look forward to housework so that I can pop on those headphones and sober groove my way to a clean home! Eureka!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Thanks for the graphic Kaily I saved it to my folder!
"All these people in AA that seem happy and that are trying to help me are just lying to themselves. That or they didn't go through the things I went through in life. If people walked a mile in my shoes they would be drinking like me too...hell they would probably even be drinking more than me! See I'm not so bad in comparison. Maybe I drink everyday to take the edge off but I'm mentally tough...blah blah blah...verbal diarrhea...excuse excuse excuse...talk talk talk..."
I can chuckle now but good lord. If I could go back in time and see the old me you guys would have to hold me back so I wouldn't rush over and choke that mofo to death.
"All these people in AA that seem happy and that are trying to help me are just lying to themselves. That or they didn't go through the things I went through in life. If people walked a mile in my shoes they would be drinking like me too...hell they would probably even be drinking more than me! See I'm not so bad in comparison. Maybe I drink everyday to take the edge off but I'm mentally tough...blah blah blah...verbal diarrhea...excuse excuse excuse...talk talk talk..."
I can chuckle now but good lord. If I could go back in time and see the old me you guys would have to hold me back so I wouldn't rush over and choke that mofo to death.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
I'm in and thanks Mags
congrats dpac on shotgun
I had plenty of reasons/ excuses over time, but the biggest one was caregiving my chain-smoking alcoholic mother for a couple of decades. She was constantly in and out of the hospital with pneumonia & breathing issues, breaking bones or smashing out her teeth while drunk, and any number of fun messes I was supposed to drop everything for and clean up. And then she would verbally abuse me for not doing fast enough, good enough, or requesting she be accountable for herself.
Some would say that was a "good" excuse to drink. Certainly, it was when my alcoholism really took off. But in hindsight I see I could have made other choices but didn't.
I choose to engage in a toxic situation, and I chose to suppress the nature healthy urge to get away with booze.
My identity as a "good daughter" was part of it.
My identity as a life-long person who drank was part of it.
At the time, I couldn't or wouldn't see another path.
I learned many lessons, and most of them the hard way.
In the end, I now see my choice was an excuse to not love myself
and do the very best I could to take care of me.
I didn't believe I was worth saving. I grew up feeling guilty my mom was unhappy and drank because of my brother and I. She made a point tell us so frequently when loaded. Then she would be nice and apologize when she sobered up. Mixed messages is a serious understatement of what I lived and what so many children who grow up with alcoholic parents live.
The bottom line was I have felt unsafe and unworthy. I learned not to trust those who were closest to me. It's a pretty solid recipe to create another alcoholic the next generation. That's what the research says happens.
People with who don't leave alcoholic partners "to keep the family together" are really setting up huge problems for their kids down the road.
But in the end, I accept that everyone has burdens to overcome as we grow into adults, and that I used my childhood to excuse my drinking for decades.
But it was an excuse. And when I dropped it and became accountable, everything in my life changed for the better. I just wish I had figured this out earlier.
But if I can, anyone can. Just start where you are, drop the excuses, and do the next right thing. Continue the process.
congrats dpac on shotgun
I had plenty of reasons/ excuses over time, but the biggest one was caregiving my chain-smoking alcoholic mother for a couple of decades. She was constantly in and out of the hospital with pneumonia & breathing issues, breaking bones or smashing out her teeth while drunk, and any number of fun messes I was supposed to drop everything for and clean up. And then she would verbally abuse me for not doing fast enough, good enough, or requesting she be accountable for herself.
Some would say that was a "good" excuse to drink. Certainly, it was when my alcoholism really took off. But in hindsight I see I could have made other choices but didn't.
I choose to engage in a toxic situation, and I chose to suppress the nature healthy urge to get away with booze.
My identity as a "good daughter" was part of it.
My identity as a life-long person who drank was part of it.
At the time, I couldn't or wouldn't see another path.
I learned many lessons, and most of them the hard way.
In the end, I now see my choice was an excuse to not love myself
and do the very best I could to take care of me.
I didn't believe I was worth saving. I grew up feeling guilty my mom was unhappy and drank because of my brother and I. She made a point tell us so frequently when loaded. Then she would be nice and apologize when she sobered up. Mixed messages is a serious understatement of what I lived and what so many children who grow up with alcoholic parents live.
The bottom line was I have felt unsafe and unworthy. I learned not to trust those who were closest to me. It's a pretty solid recipe to create another alcoholic the next generation. That's what the research says happens.
People with who don't leave alcoholic partners "to keep the family together" are really setting up huge problems for their kids down the road.
But in the end, I accept that everyone has burdens to overcome as we grow into adults, and that I used my childhood to excuse my drinking for decades.
But it was an excuse. And when I dropped it and became accountable, everything in my life changed for the better. I just wish I had figured this out earlier.
But if I can, anyone can. Just start where you are, drop the excuses, and do the next right thing. Continue the process.
Is life easy, fair and painless? Do you always get what you want? Intellectually, the answer is no, but emotionally, many of us believe that life should be fair, without pain and require no effort and we should always get what we want. It's almost comical that we expect such perfect expectations. When this type of belief system fails, in other words, when life is not easy, fair and painless, many of us, attempt to regain control of how we feel, with a quick fix or mood changer of substances or other errant behaviors. Welcome to the human race, where life is not perfect and we all race to avoid emotional pain, change our mood and seek the need to, "escape our feelings and feel better."
We can choose a better life, but not without values, a purpose and a plan.
Jeremiah 29:11, where the Lord says, "For I know the plans I have for you. . . . They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I can chuckle now but good lord. If I could go back in time and see the old me you guys would have to hold me back so I wouldn't rush over and choke that mofo to death.
Yeah, me too. I was just the kind of person who drives me crazy now.
Yeah, me too. I was just the kind of person who drives me crazy now.
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
one more day of this week & then next week off for me - yay!
good topic Mags. having been through rehab in the early 00's & had six years sober before I picked up, I was under no illusion that I was drinking other than because I was addicted, I just didn't know how to stop. but ye gods, the excuses I made to others for my behaviour.
good topic Mags. having been through rehab in the early 00's & had six years sober before I picked up, I was under no illusion that I was drinking other than because I was addicted, I just didn't know how to stop. but ye gods, the excuses I made to others for my behaviour.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Ugh. I’m at the pool with my kid, and I was just chatting with this acquaintance who is a very heavy drinker. She doesn’t seem to care at all, she drinks like I did and is as happy as can be.
Right now she’s floating around the lazy river with a beer in the cup holder, and she just ordered a pitcher of margaritas. And instead of being glad that I’m not doing that anymore, I’m jealous. Must be nice not to GAF.
Whoa, my AV comes up with some stupid **** at the most random times. Obviously I know better. I’m gonna go get a Perrier.
Right now she’s floating around the lazy river with a beer in the cup holder, and she just ordered a pitcher of margaritas. And instead of being glad that I’m not doing that anymore, I’m jealous. Must be nice not to GAF.
Whoa, my AV comes up with some stupid **** at the most random times. Obviously I know better. I’m gonna go get a Perrier.
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