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Still not sober

Old 08-14-2018, 04:31 PM
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Still not sober

Iíve been trying to quit since January. Every time I set a date, the day comes and I get a new quit date. This has been going on since January. My first quit date was January 1, then February 14, then March 17...basically holidays I can remember. Iím losing hope. Every time I get a craving and cave in, the guilt makes me want to drink more. Itís a vicious cycle Iím sick of repeating. What do I do when my cravings are so bad?
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:38 PM
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What you do when the cravings get so bad is you do whatever it takes to get through it. It's the getting through it that will lessen the cravings that follow. There is no way around it. Distract yourself in any way you can, even for a few minutes. You can do this!
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:38 PM
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You ride them out without drinking, that's what you do. Don't set a date, make today your quit date. It's hard to get thru the withdrawal and early sobriety, but it's possible. How badly do you want to be sober?
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
You ride them out without drinking, that's what you do. Don't set a date, make today your quit date. It's hard to get thru the withdrawal and early sobriety, but it's possible. How badly do you want to be sober?
Iíve tried but I feel too weak. I really, really try. My husband said I can call him when I want a drink so that may help. I need to have a plan in place. I just canít trust myself.

How bad do I want to be sober?
My honest answer...not bad enough. Iím a highly functioning binge drinker. Iíve had no real consequences. I want to stop for my health. I want to stop because I could die binge drinking on the medication I take. Why doesnít that scare me?
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:47 PM
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cravings can be awful....but they really only tend to last about 15 minutes....give or take. all we have to do is hang on and not do anything stupid.....for 15 minutes.....give or take. every time we resist a craving, we get stronger. every time we give in, the addiction gets stronger.

it's like Survivor....outwit, outlast, outplay. whatever it takes. the only day to set as a quit date is TODAY. any other day will never happen.
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:47 PM
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I wonít give up. I never give up on anything. But Iím tired. I want support but I donít want AA. I want someone I can call that can talk me out of it. I want someone who understands this. My husband is supportive but he doesnít know how much of a mental war this is for me. I feel very alone. Boredom is my biggest trigger.
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:49 PM
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Ive been too embarrassed to show my face here in the forums. I feel Iíve not only let myself down but all my friends here. My silence keeps me a slave. Thatís why Iím here again.
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Old 08-14-2018, 05:49 PM
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Well I can certainly understand. I was embarrassed by my slips. I would lie to people and tell them I was sober. This went on for years.
Finally, I asked the God of my understanding, for help put my pride aside
and called AA.

I had a few slips after that, but my drinking had been ruined by attending meetings.
I was a bad drunk by then, too. I simply could not quit on my own and I was desperate.
My life was circling the drain.
I'm glad you're here again. I've found this place invaluable and I've been sober nine and a half years now.

Stories like yours help me stay sober. I've been where you are and don't want to go back, so thank you for positing.
I had to quit more than I wanted to drink, and it took me a long
time to get to the precarious situation I was in. Live or die.
I really hope you can stop before you get that far. Take my word for it, it's a waking nightmare.
So best to you and hope you keep posting.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:02 PM
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I know what it is. I know what I want. I was sober for a year. A whole year! God I regret picking u that bottle and I'd give anything to take it back. I know how good sobriety is. I want it. But I need support. I need someone.

My new quit date is 8/18/18. By writing that date I'm making it official. I'm not turning back. I'm not giving in. My plan for the intense craving is to call my husband and come here and hope to God someone talks me out of it. i have to do this. I'm not giving up. i don't give up.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:07 PM
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You really need more support than that. What if your husband isn't available? You need face to face support as well as staying close to SR.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
You really need more support than that. What if your husband isn't available? You need face to face support as well as staying close to SR.
You're right. But I'm not an AA person. I feel like I don't belong there. I got sober here back in 2015. I came here to this forum and was sober for a whole year. I think that's my answer. Sober Recovery got me sober before and it will again. I have to post here regularly. I quit this Saturday and I will be here glued. That is my plan. I need you guys.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:15 PM
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My new quit date is 8/18/18.
Why wait til the 18th? Quit now and start a better life tomorrow. Don't hope for it, work for it, with all your strength.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:15 PM
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You can do it, I have no doubt.
You mentioned boredom is your trigger. It was mine to at the beginning, back when I still needed a reason to drink, but I created my own boredom.
I work free lance so I can work when I wanted to.
Rainy day, drink. Too cold, drink. Don't feel like working, drink. Ad infintum.
Then it got to the point where I didn't need a reason.
Again, I created my own boredom as an excuse to drink.
There were a hundred things I could have been doing. What a wasted life I lead for so, so long.

Now I create things to do. And I'm very seldom bored.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:23 PM
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Why 8/18/18? I think you know the answer to that question. It's a game. I have alcohol in my fridge. I'm letting the alcohol win one more time. Saturday I'll be here. Saturday it's over. I need to be ready. I need to say goodbye. One last dance with the devil.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by secretchord View Post
I’ve been trying to quit since January. Every time I set a date, the day comes and I get a new quit date. This has been going on since January.
I hope for your sake that 8/18 is different this time.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
I hope for your sake that 8/18 is different this time.
I don't know what else to do. Why is this date different? I don't know. Maybe it's a date like the last. even if I set a thousand dates I'm not giving up. What difference is Saturday from today?
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:51 PM
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Dear Secretchord, you know, whenever I would tell myself "on such and such a date I will start exercising" or some other thing that I know I really should do (like working on my taxes) but don't have the enthusiasm for (like a mammogram), you know what? Such date comes and I don't do it. I honestly rebel against myself. Do you? Have you tried telling yourself at whatever hour you normally commence drinking, "You know what? I don't feel like it today. I can do without a drink today. If I really want one, I'll have it tomorrow." Some people "make a decision" that they don't drink and it works for them. If I told myself "I don't drink," myself would tell me "Oh, yeah?"and prove me wrong.

Someday I will be far enough along the journey that I will be comfortable with "never, " but for now "not today" works and I say it every day. And I come on here when I have a craving or at least once a day to keep momentum.

You were sober for a year. That's awesome.
You had 365 sober days under your belt! Now you can work on day 366. And you're going to feel so much better without the hooch in your system that you will actually feel like trying new things.

I hope to see you often on here. You can do this again.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:52 PM
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I hope your last dance with the devil is uneventful.
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Old 08-14-2018, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by secretchord View Post
Why 8/18/18? I think you know the answer to that question. It's a game. I have alcohol in my fridge. I'm letting the alcohol win one more time. Saturday I'll be here. Saturday it's over. I need to be ready. I need to say goodbye. One last dance with the devil.
Why not make a stand right now? Instead of waiting so you can drink your alcohol, what about saying 'enough' and pouring that alcohol down the drain?

Just rip the bandaid off.

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Old 08-14-2018, 08:07 PM
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secretchord, it's good to have a plan, but the plan to stay sober can't be anchored on someone else talking you out of drinking.
it's not anyone else's job....and it's different from support.
you will have lots of support here.

have you checked out SMART? They might have meetings close to you.
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