Dear Secretchord, you know, whenever I would tell myself "on such and such a date I will start exercising" or some other thing that I know I really should do (like working on my taxes) but don't have the enthusiasm for (like a mammogram), you know what? Such date comes and I don't do it. I honestly rebel against myself. Do you? Have you tried telling yourself at whatever hour you normally commence drinking, "You know what? I don't feel like it today. I can do without a drink today. If I really want one, I'll have it tomorrow." Some people "make a decision" that they don't drink and it works for them. If I told myself "I don't drink," myself would tell me "Oh, yeah?"and prove me wrong.
Someday I will be far enough along the journey that I will be comfortable with "never, " but for now "not today" works and I say it every day. And I come on here when I have a craving or at least once a day to keep momentum.
You were sober for a year. That's awesome.
You had 365 sober days under your belt! Now you can work on day 366. And you're going to feel so much better without the hooch in your system that you will actually feel like trying new things.
I hope to see you often on here. You can do this again.