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Here again...hubby won't even look at me

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Old 06-29-2018, 07:10 PM
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Ok sorry Dee.
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Old 06-29-2018, 07:24 PM
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Thank you all who have responded. I have read every single post and am taking every suggestion into consideration. No I have not nixed anything....I am just trying to make it through the day....is why im even on here. I feel like I can't even post anything else on here until I go to an AA meeting or ill just get a backlash. I respect everyone's comments and suggestions but I've learned there are other options other than AA no? Again...I havent nixed anything....just keeping options open....except for drinking. And if your way of helping me is tough love because that's what you needed well I respect that too. I do have a desire to stop drinking....or I wouldn't be on here. I get it though...action is louder than words.
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Old 06-29-2018, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Newme2018 View Post
Thank you all who have responded. I have read every single post and am taking every suggestion into consideration. No I have not nixed anything....I am just trying to make it through the day....is why im even on here. I feel like I can't even post anything else on here until I go to an AA meeting or ill just get a backlash. I respect everyone's comments and suggestions but I've learned there are other options other than AA no? Again...I havent nixed anything....just keeping options open....except for drinking. And if your way of helping me is tough love because that's what you needed well I respect that too. I do have a desire to stop drinking....or I wouldn't be on here. I get it though...action is louder than words.
You are tough and thoughtful in your responses. AA is certainly not a requirement for posting here or for sobriety. I am sober without it, though I know plenty of people it works for. Have you looked into avrt or rational recovery?

Keep posting, and keep staying sober.
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Old 06-29-2018, 08:12 PM
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AA is good at uplifting you and giving hope. But for me I found other methods worked better. Distraction exercise and hobbies meditation. I know it can all seem too hard ATM. Just keep posting throughout the day. Remember a day at a time. There is support on here not just Aaers. You are under no compulsion to go.
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Old 06-30-2018, 03:16 AM
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You don’t have to do AA, a lot of folks on here didn’t. However, AA meeting are everywhere, so it can be a good first step to start the momentum as you continue to research all of your options. It’s completely up to you to find what works. Best of luck!
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Old 06-30-2018, 04:28 AM
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I will not post anything else on this thread.
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Old 06-30-2018, 05:35 AM
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Hey newme

I agree that you have handled yourself very well. That will serve you well in your recovery....the ability to hear all messages and take what works for you.

AA is by no means a necessity here so please don't stop posting. If you decide to try out a meeting that is your business. When you do that is also your business. I have learned a lot in AA, but it is not the only 'method' I use.

One thing I try to do here is share from my personal experience. If a post resonates with me I share what my experience has been with what I believe I'm reading. Others just post straight up advice. Which is fine but I think far less effective. Not only does posting from my experience possibly demonstrate to the reader that I have 'been there' but it also forces me to shine the light on my own actions. In other words, it reminds me that I was exactly where the poster is.

In my humble opinion if more posters shared their personal experience, posts would be more effective and less 'harsh'. But that's just me. Never was very good at taking direction!

Hang in there.
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Old 06-30-2018, 03:02 PM
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How are you doing today newme?

D
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Old 06-30-2018, 10:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
How are you doing today newme?

D
Hi Dee! A little better...got a little more energy to get up get dressed and get out the house today. Hubby is speaking to me a little more...we went out as a family...had lunch at a Mexican restaurant and then ran around at a park chasing our babies. Hubby had his margarita...I had a nice delicious iced tea I couldn't help but look around and see so many people drinking their margaritas outside in beautiful weather....I felt some sadness but I just kept focusing back on my boys reminding myself why I want to be sober. My thoughts are all over the place which tells me I do need to start taking some action. Thank you for following up and asking Dee!

I love SR and am so thankful for every single person who has replied...I love the support when I feel down...and appreciate to hear the harsh truths...I can't say that enough!
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Old 06-30-2018, 10:51 PM
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
You are tough and thoughtful in your responses. AA is certainly not a requirement for posting here or for sobriety. I am sober without it, though I know plenty of people it works for. Have you looked into avrt or rational recovery?

Keep posting, and keep staying sober.
No I have never looked into avrt or rational recovery...never even heard of them. Ill have to check them out....thanks so much!
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Old 06-30-2018, 10:55 PM
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Thank you Sweetichick and eyes99 for your support ❤❤
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Old 06-30-2018, 10:58 PM
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Hi newme glad you are delighted g a bit better and things improving at home.

As others have suddenly whilst aa works for many it is not the only way. Avrt rational recovery is great although I think trying everything and seeing what works for you is great.

I have a few days sober and just joined the July class. The classes are great as everyone in general same position. Maybe look at joining ☺
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Old 06-30-2018, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
Hey newme

I agree that you have handled yourself very well. That will serve you well in your recovery....the ability to hear all messages and take what works for you.

AA is by no means a necessity here so please don't stop posting. If you decide to try out a meeting that is your business. When you do that is also your business. I have learned a lot in AA, but it is not the only 'method' I use.

One thing I try to do here is share from my personal experience. If a post resonates with me I share what my experience has been with what I believe I'm reading. Others just post straight up advice. Which is fine but I think far less effective. Not only does posting from my experience possibly demonstrate to the reader that I have 'been there' but it also forces me to shine the light on my own actions. In other words, it reminds me that I was exactly where the poster is.

In my humble opinion if more posters shared their personal experience, posts would be more effective and less 'harsh'. But that's just me. Never was very good at taking direction!

Hang in there.
Yeah I guess you could say I've never been good at taking direction myself! And yes I agree about sharing personal experience and it being more effective! When I post here...that's usually what im looking for...and to hear people like me succeed...gives me hope! Thanks Frickaflip ❤
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Old 06-30-2018, 11:16 PM
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Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast View Post
Hi newme glad you are delighted g a bit better and things improving at home.

As others have suddenly whilst aa works for many it is not the only way. Avrt rational recovery is great although I think trying everything and seeing what works for you is great.

I have a few days sober and just joined the July class. The classes are great as everyone in general same position. Maybe look at joining ☺
Thanks readyatlast! Congrats on your few days of sobriety! Yes great point...I will join July class! We got this! ❤
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Old 07-01-2018, 12:49 AM
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So glad you are feeling better and had a good day.
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Old 07-01-2018, 10:40 AM
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I was 'kicked' into the doors of AA by the court and I did need it..I knew I needed it a couple years prior..I don't attend often anymore(19 months sober) and it's not the only thing responsible for me not drinking today,but it's nice to know it and the fine AA peeps are there if I need them and some help. This place is awesome too! Therapy..smart..ect.. Use everything available to get back to actually living. Hang in there and focus on yourself..Just because someone is having a drink/drinking(hubby) does not mean you have to. That was really hard while with my GF..once I got sober I realised she also had a drinking problem(I knew it for a while)..
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