Mistakes2

Hi, I am new to this site...
This past Thursday I ended up with my 2nd DUI .. I am from Ontario and I am so scared about what will happen to me. Everywhere says I will serve a minimum of 30 days in jail....
I hit two cars in a parking lot but no injuries or damage..just maybe a little damage. I don’t remember swapping insurance with anyone but they did call the police on me to have me arrested. I blew maybe two times over the limit

I HATE myself so much it is Sunday and I never ate in 3 days and never slept for 2 days. I am so disappointed in my self. I am only 27 years old.. my first dui was end of 2015.
I never thought I would have done this again. I can’t express or stop thinking of how much I hate myself. How I am a huge disappointment to my parents and siblings. I just want to disappear from this world...

I want to start going to AA since I made a promise to myself that I will never drink again. I don’t know when to stop when I start and I am scared I will die one day.

Is there any advice anyone has for me....?
Do you know if I will serve more than 30 days in jail.....?

Thank you for your time reading my story

biminiblue

Hm. Well, since this is the same post you made twenty minutes ago in Alcoholism and you got a few replies, I'll link it here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-2nd-dui.html (My 2nd DUI)

Mistakes2

Hi again,

I am sorry.. I am new to the site so I’m not sure what category I should have posted this in. Trying to get encouraging words and advice from anyone. Not doing so good......

biminiblue

Oh, no - it's okay.

You'll make it through this. There are not that many people on the site right now, and not everyone who is on the site posts regularly.

Have you thought about calling AA and finding a meeting? People will understand you and will likely be able to answer all your questions...you need to find someone to talk to? Call the number of your local AA and someone in your area will call you back. They've been where you are.

Here's a start point: (it says "US" - but it's the Canada page, eh?) Also, you can start reading the AA Big Book (look at the bottom of any page on aa.org) in pdf.
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

linked by permission of AA World Services Inc

Also, there are lots of speakers you can listen to on the internet, here:
https://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb...=category&id=1

ProfessorD

It will be OK. First of all, I would thank whoever you pray to that you didn't hurt anyone or yourself. The rest of it can and will be solved. I would definitely go to that meeting and get a sponsor. As you say, you are 27. That can either be bad news because it means you have many years left of drinking and driving, or it can be great news, because you're only 27 and you'll never drink another drop of alcohol.

P.s. this site is great, and everyone will help you out too!

Mistakes2

I wish there were more people here to talk to but you are helping with your replies...

I will look into calling AA and hopefully start going tomorrow. I am embarrassed and ashamed so I hope it helps...I can’t seem to get out of bed or eat

Thank you, you got a smile out of me......

Mistakes2

Thank you for your reply. As of yesterday I decided not to have a drop of alcohol anymore so I hope it means good news for me in the future to stick to that choice... I hope I am strong enough. I will continue to pray for guidance as well.

2muchpain

I don't think it's all that important where you post but that you post. I have had one DUI but I could of had many more so I have an idea what you are going through. When I picked up my DUI, I thought my life was over also. But I survived it, and realized that life does go on and it will get better if I put in the work to make it better. It would be natural to act on impulse when you are in a bad place emotionally; but I will tell you the chances are you would regret it. Try to calm down, take a deep breath and look at your situation with a clear and open mind.
Maybe you will get some jail time, maybe not. Either way, it is just a small fraction of your lifetime. It will pass.
What's most important IMHO is what you do now to get your life back on track. Otherwise, it's almost a sure bet you will be going through this again. Maybe worse. Turn your anger into determination to change things for the better. Your anger will eventually fade.
Stick with SR. Go to AA, etc. See a therapist. Check with your doctor.
At your age, you have the opportunity to make this situation a very distant memory. What's broken can be fixed. Just gotta find the right tools. Above all, AVOID EXCUSES. That's probably killed more alcoholics than anything else. Things will get better if you work at it. Take care. John

Mistakes2

Hi John, thank you for your reply and encouraging words.
I was in so much pain and worry when I got my first DUI and now I am feeling even worse for my second DUI. A million times worse. I hate myself and I don’t know how I have gotten here... I was also told by a friend I should go see a therapist so I can figure out why I am like this in the first place. Also I think AA will help me cope as well.
I understand I made a horrible mistake and will go to jail if asked of me but I hope it will not be for a very long time... I really want to change. I am just terrified I am not strong enough.

2muchpain

Some people have been able to quit drinking on their first attempt and be done with it. They seem to be able to go on with their lives and not have to make any major changes other than quitting drinking. I wish I was one of them. The reality is most people need to make many changes in their lives and find support to help them cope with tough situations. Everybody's different.
BTW. You will get a lot of responses starting tomorrow. Weekends are kinda slow. Keep posting!! John

Mistakes2

I wish I was one of those people as well. Instead I just ruined my life again..in a much worse way. God knows I need all the support I can get........
Thank you I will be on here everyday hoping to hear from people..

2muchpain

Well, I don't know if this will help, but when I got my DUI, the judge ordered me to a state hospital for 5 or 6 months due to my suicidal tendencies and severe depression. Was locked in. I was surrounded by people with problems much worse than mine. I mean, many of these people were really CRAZY. Some very dangerous. I had to be a different person while I was there. Stayed to myself most of the time. You'd be amazed how strong you are when you are faced with tough situations. Also spent time in a rehab facility with some really hardened criminals. Came as a shock since I'm a pretty mellow person
but you'd be amazed the strength you have when your in that situation.
I think you will do fine, and probably be a better person for the experience. Don't believe all the hype you hear. If you do have to serve some time in jail, most of those people are probably just like you. Not sure if this is true, but I heard people with non violent crimes like yours are place in areas separate from the hard core criminals. John

2muchpain

Your life isn't ruined man. This moment, this week or this month might be ruined, but not your life. Not even close. I'm a lot older than you and trust me, a lot of bad situations that I've have to experience that I thought was life ending turned out to be not so bad and turned out to be a blessing. Your gonna be ok. JUST DON'T KEEP MESSING UP!! LOL John

Mistakes2

That sounds horrible. I am sorry you went through something like that but glad to know it has made you a changed better person today. I definitely would consider registering myself in a Rehb facility over jail but it is not up to me.
I have googled so many different stories about people being charged with 2nd DUIs..that is why I probably haven’t gotten any sleep in the past days. I feel like a zombie because I am terrified. I hope what you said about being placed with non violent criminals is true....

I don’t want anyone to think that I am not trying to pay for my actions..I am willing to do so but I am still afraid because I know I made another stupid stupid horrible mistake and it really is eating me alive

Mistakes2

I hope you are right......

2muchpain

I know it's easy for me to say but beating on yourself is not gonna help you any, and only keep you from seeing your options. Any chance you could admit yourself into a detox center or better yet a rehab facility before your case goes to court? Showing you are going to AA, etc., might also make a difference to the judge. Be as proactive as you can. You might not be up to it now, but in a few days when you are feeling better you might want to look into what options you have. This is just a blip in your life man. Just don't make it a lifestyle and really do something about it. John

2muchpain

LOL. I rarely say this, but I know I'm right, and I'm not that sure about most things. I don't consider myself an expert on just about anything, but when it comes to overcoming hardships, I'm pretty good at that. Don't have all the answers, but I got a couple of them. John

Mistakes2

I just contacted a local AA meeting and I will go there for my first meeting at 12pm. I am not sure if there are any free Rehab centres in my area I will have to search the web for that......
Thank you John for helping me and giving me some advice... I hope I am able to tell you in the future that I also became a changed better person.

2muchpain

Your doing great!! Attend AA meetings is a great start. I don't live in your area, but most places provide either free rehab with I know is rare, or rehab facilities that have rates depending on income. Don't think twice about this man. Find a rehab and go. Don't spend time thinking about why you can't go, just do it. Had a friend that demanded that I go to rehab. Had all kinds of excuses to not go, some pretty good LOL. Find a rehab, pack your bags, ignore the baseless fears to not go and just do it. The hardest part is walking in the door. After that, it's smooth sailing. Just think how angry and disappointed you will be if you don't. I heard somewhere that it's not the mistakes that we make that we regret, it's the things that we could of done but didn't. Go for it. John

Anna

I'm glad that you are taking this very seriously and seeking support to stop drinking. I'm from Canada, too, but I don't know if there is a specific amount of jail time for a 2nd DUI. It's probably a good idea to get a lawyer to help you through the process.