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Old 01-28-2018, 06:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
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My 2nd DUI


Hi, I am new to this site...
This past Thursday I ended up with my 2nd DUI .. I am from Ontario and I am so scared about what will happen to me. Everywhere says I will serve a minimum of 30 days in jail....
I hit two cars in a parking lot but no injuries or damage..just maybe a little damage. I don’t remember swapping insurance with anyone but they did call the police on me to have me arrested. I blew maybe two times over the limit

I HATE myself so much it is Sunday and I never ate in 3 days and never slept for 2 days. I am so disappointed in my self. I am only 27 years old.. my first dui was end of 2015.
I never thought I would have done this again. I can’t express or stop thinking of how much I hate myself. How I am a huge disappointment to my parents and siblings. I just want to disappear from this world...

I want to start going to AA since I made a promise to myself that I will never drink again. I don’t know when to stop when I start and I am scared I will die one day.

Is there any advice anyone has for me....?
Do you know if I will serve more than 30 days in jail.....?

Thank you for your time reading my story
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Old 01-28-2018, 06:50 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm sorry for the predicament. I'm really glad you weren't hurt or killed.

The very best thing you can do for yourself is to never pick up a drink again. The consequences will continue to pile up otherwise. Please take this as your wake-up call and throw yourself into AA and recovery.

I'm glad you've found us. Welcome.

You'll get through all of this. One day at a time. I don't think anyone can answer your legal questions, though.
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Old 01-28-2018, 06:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you very much for your kind words and support

This is definitely a wake-up call for me. I am trying to write down how I am feeling now as much as I can so I can always look back at this moment and never forget and make another horrible mistake.

I hope AA will help me...
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:04 AM   #4 (permalink)
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You never have to do this again....that's the good news.

Get an attorney. Go to AA. Make a sign in sheet and have the secretary sign the paper proving you attended (you'll probably have to start this anyway).

What's done is done. Focus on getting better. You are young and have a choice....alcoholism will get worse. You don't have to go that route.
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:19 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you for your encouraging words

I really do not want my alcoholism to take over and win

I will be getting an attorney Tuesday to help me..I hope
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi,

Like other people have posted prior, use this event to propel you into sober and healthy living. Things can seem overwhelming and problems insurmountable, but if you keep plugging along they get better. Understand the gravity of the situation and what you did, but try not to beat yourself up about it. You're 27, so you still have a lot of time left to live healthy and be a positive influence on the world.

We can't change what we've done, but we can control where we're going.

Stay well.
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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What's done is done. You can either wallow in self-pity, or use this as a springboard to a better life. Just be thankful that you didn't physically injure yourself or someone else. I wish you well.
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi, thank you for taking the time out to reply.

I really wish I could undo my mistake... I understand there is no turning back but it is just very difficult at the moment to accept this.

I hope I stay strong and keep pushing through..........
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I was where your at. It sucks beyond sucking and you will have a lot to go through. For me I finally was ready to change my life for the better and quit drinking. I'm almost at three years now and it was all worth it. I know exactly what your going through and I hope it sinks in this time.
Peace......
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:47 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps to know I am not the only one but also to know I can rise from this all in due time. Congrats on your 3 years being sober... I hope I last that long.
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:57 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Have you looked at the list of AA meetings yet? There is no reason that you can't make your first one today. It's not something you register for or enrol on. You just walk in and pull up a chair. No need to speak to the whole room, but folk will welcome you and look after you in your first meeting. There are no dies or fees for AA membership / meetings, but they will pass a lot round to collect money that goes towards costs of running the meeting (rent, tea and coffee, literature, etc). All the folk at a closed AA meeting are alcoholics. The person acting is secretary is just a straight up alcoholic member as well - they re just in that voluntary role for that period of time. Just Google AA meetings Ontario and the list will come up,

Glad you're here and posting. Things WILL get better if you stay sober and work on your recovery. Maybe not immediately or without some work, but they WILL, given time and commitment. One day shame and self-loathing can be a distant memory.

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Old 01-28-2018, 08:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Have you looked at the list of AA meetings yet? There is no reason that you can't make your first one today. It's not something you register for or enrol on. You just walk in and pull up a chair. No need to speak to the whole room, but folk will welcome you and look after you in your first meeting. There are no dies or fees for AA membership / meetings, but they will pass a lot round to collect money that goes towards costs of running the meeting (rent, tea and coffee, literature, etc). All the folk at a closed AA meeting are alcoholics. The person acting is secretary is just a straight up alcoholic member as well - they re just in that voluntary role for that period of time. Just Google AA meetings Ontario and the list will come up,

Glad you're here and posting. Things WILL get better if you stay sober and work on your recovery. Maybe not immediately or without some work, but they WILL, given time and commitment. One day shame and self-loathing can be a distant memory.

BB



Hi, thank you for replying. I have looked up some meetings in my area.. I think I will go to one tomorrow. I know they are there to help me but I still feel so ashamed and horrible. I really need to take a step in the opposite direction because my life has been spiraling down for the past 8 years it feels like... I hope it is not too late for me.
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Old 01-28-2018, 08:38 AM   #13 (permalink)
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It's never too late to make change in your life Mistakes2. It won't be easy but it is definitely possible. The hardest part is accepting your addiction for what it is. AA and other recovery program can help with that but at the end of the day you need to fully accept that alcohol is no longer an option in any amount .
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Old 01-28-2018, 08:50 AM   #14 (permalink)
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It's never too late to make change in your life Mistakes2. It won't be easy but it is definitely possible. The hardest part is accepting your addiction for what it is. AA and other recovery program can help with that but at the end of the day you need to fully accept that alcohol is no longer an option in any amount .


Thank you for your response,
I always admitted that I was a binge drinker but I think it is way more than that because once I start I cannot stop and I let drinking ..that used to be fun and once in a while become a horrible horrible thing in my life thatís just been bringing me down and making me make the worst decisions of my life
I really hope itís not too late for me
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Old 01-28-2018, 11:26 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Mistakes2 View Post
Hi, thank you for replying. I have looked up some meetings in my area.. I think I will go to one tomorrow. I know they are there to help me but I still feel so ashamed and horrible. I really need to take a step in the opposite direction because my life has been spiraling down for the past 8 years it feels like... I hope it is not too late for me.
I was 40 when I got sober. I know ladies who were in their 60s when they did it. You haven't left it too late. Sure, you arrived at sobriety with some wreckage to clear, but once you have a little recovery behind you and have developed some tools for Living sober, you will be able to work on clearing that wreckage. For now, focus on staying sober so you don't add to it. Things WILL get better with recovery and sobriety. Esp if you get a good network of sober friends and recovery fellowship around you.

Stay in the middle of the lifeboat.

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Old 01-28-2018, 02:55 PM   #16 (permalink)
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The great thing about going to AA is that you will immediately be among people who know exactly how you are feeling. Most of them have been in that same place - whether from DUIs or other consequences. They will not be shocked at what you have done; they will not be surprised; they will not think poorly of you. They will nod their heads and say they know how you feel. When I was where you are now, I grabbed onto this with everything I had.
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Old 01-28-2018, 03:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I had it twice, it's not the end of the world. You'll get through it. One thing that might make it easier for you if you can is live where you can get mass transit. That's what I did when it happened to me and it was less stress on having to worry about transportation.
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Old 01-28-2018, 03:06 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Hi Mistakes. I'm glad you wanted to talk about what happened. You're in good company - we all understand.

I got a dui too - but I was much older. As you said, once you start drinking you can't stop - and I was the same. I did nothing to keep myself from destroying my life - I continued trying to control what I drank. This won't happen to you.
I agree that going to AA is a good idea - and it will show the judge that you're serious about getting help for your addiction. Stay with us - we care about you.
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Old 01-28-2018, 03:07 PM   #19 (permalink)
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This to shall pass with time. Gonna be hard for awhile. You won't have license anytime soon. Gonna be costly as well.
Here's the good news, your not facing intoxication manslaughter. That's a 20 year sentence and loss of innocent life. Perhaps your own.
Here's my advice, stop drinking. Develop a plan and work it. Do whatever takes. Just stop drinking. Don't beat yourself up over this. I bet everyone of us here has driven drunk. I should have 10 dui's on my record. I was fortunate never to have an accident or get pulled over.
Just work your way through this and don't drink. Turn this into something positive. Make a life change. The main thing is you never drink again. Life is better without it. Trust us here.
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Old 01-28-2018, 03:14 PM   #20 (permalink)
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So sorry.

I, too, am working through a DUI (1st) in Ontario. There was no damage and nobody was hurt but it has still stung financially and convenience-wise. But...2 days after the incident, I attended my first AA meeting and haven't looked back. I have a sponsor and am, today, celebrating 31 days of sobriety. I reccommend AA! Great people, great community that "gets" where you're coming from. It's gonna be a tough time facing your 2nd DUI but taking it one day at a time is all you can do.
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